Chaotic (L.O.R.D.S. #7) — Chapter no 9

NINE

EV ERETT

o you know what it feels like not to get to say goodbye to theD one you love?

People die every day in freak accidents or from suicide or natu ral causes. I know there are a lot of people who don’t get to say good‐ bye to a loved one. Who aren’t aware when they kiss them goodbye as they leave for work that it might be their last.

I hate that I’ve had to say goodbye to some one I never even got to meet.

I sit cross-legged at the grave. It should have two head stones, but that wasn’t offered. The single head stone repre sents two people I love. Two deaths due to two different circumstances. Not getting to know them doesn’t make the pain or loss any easier.

Each one put a fresh hole in my heart. The tears did eventu ally stop, but it changed me. Made me colder.

I look over the unmarked grave. You don’t get to be re membered when you screw the Lords. There are two people who I never got to say goodbye to here. One brought me into this world, and the sec‐ ond, I re fused to let end up with the same fate as me.

I learned at a very young age that I would rather swim with the sharks than surround myself with the people who tried to drown me.

I only had myself then, and I only have myself now. That will never change. One day, they’ll get rid of me. No one will show up for my fu neral because there won’t even be one. Not like I will have friends to attend it anyway. I want to be cre mated and dumped here, but that won’t happen. You don’t get to choose how you die when the Lords decide your time is up.

As I sit here, the wind picks up, but heat covers my skin. I can feel him. I haven’t been able to pinpoint where he comes from or what it is he wants, but he’s been there.

Tonight is different. I can hear the sound of his boots on the muddy ground behind me, and I can smell him. It’s a cool night with a strong breeze. It’s on purpose. For some reason, tonight is the night he wants to be seen.

“I thought stalkers were supposed to go unnoticed,” I say, keeping my back to him.

A dark chuckle caresses my ears, and the breeze blows my hair around my face. Getting to my feet, I turn, and it gets caught in my lip gloss, slapping my face. I take a second to push it back, tucking it behind my ear.

The cemetery is dark at this time of night, with only one light, and even it’s on its last leg—flickering on and off. But the moon is out in full, giving me enough light to see the man lean ing against the large tree. He’s got his right black combat boot against the tree, knee bent. He stands over six feet tall, dressed in a black hoodie and light-wash jeans. He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of one pocket and a Zippo out of the other. Light ing it up, he flips the lighter shut and puts them both away.

“Aren’t there enough things that’ll kill a Lord?” I wonder, filling the silence. “Why put your self in an early grave?”

The end of the cigarette burns as red as a cherry before he blows it out. “Speaking of graves…” Kashton looks around. “Why the fuck are we out here at three in the morning?”

“Why are you stalking me?” I counter, pushing my hip out. I was

here first.

“Doubling my odds.”

I snort, not understanding nor caring enough to ask what he means by that. He pushes off the tree, getting my attention, and I take a step back.

His lips curl up slightly with amusement. “Nothing to be afraid of.”

I laugh at that absurd observation. “Oh, I’m not afraid of you.” I’ve come a long way in the past six years. I will fuck a man up with out thought.

He takes another step to ward me, and I match it.

“Your ac tions say other wise,” he muses. Putting the cigarette be‐ tween his lips, he takes in another drag as his gaze drops to my black platform boots. I had to sew up another Lord after a confes‐ sional tonight, and I haven’t changed yet, though I at least had the chance to wash up afterward.

“Maybe I’m pre tending.” I shrug. “To throw you off.” You have to bait the hook before you can cast the rod.

“Pre tending?” he re peats, taking another pull before blowing it out.

“Is that what this is, Eve? Are we going to pre tend that I haven’t seen you naked?” I swallow at the way his blue eyes graze over my chest. Those butterflies that I can’t seem to shake take flight in my stomach. “That I never heard my name on your lips while cum

leaked from your pussy?”

“Kash—”

“You re member that, right? Be fore you ran away from me?”

I roll my eyes to feign annoyance and ignore the way my pussy clenches at the memory. “It was one time.”

“It was the first time,” he prom ises. “You won’t get away from me this time, Eve.”

He takes another step closer, and I match it once more. I won’t let him touch me. “What we did was a mistake. We both know it.” I wasn’t aware of who he was that night, but I am now, and I want nothing to do with him.

“Want me to save you from a rapist? Then you can re ward me by letting me have my way with you while you beg me like a good whore?” He smiles at me. “That’s what you’re into, right?”

“Fuck you, Kash,” I say through gritted teeth, hating that I ever let him get me off.

The man turns and makes his way to the bathroom. I blink, trying to calm my rac ing heart. I came all over myself. Like a trained whore. I can’t say no. It’s not a word we’re allowed to use.

But I wanted him. He looked at me like I was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He saved me.

I glance down at the dead guy on the floor and get to my feet, even though my legs are shaking. A quick look at Kash, and he’s still

g y gg q in the bathroom, washing his hands. I grab his suit jacket, rush to the door, and softly close it behind me.

I run, pushing people out of my way, tears rolling down my face. I feel sick, my stom ach turning and a sour taste filling my mouth.

“Whoa—”

My upper arm is grabbed, and I’m spun around.

I try to push him off, but the grip just tightens. “Don’t.” My voice cracks.

He looks me up and down. “Christ. What the fuck happened to you?” He pulls me into a bathroom, and I immediately drop to my

knees, gasp ing for breath.

“I…uh…he…”

“What the fuck did you do?” he growls, grabbing my hair.

“I didn’t—” I choke, grip ping the toilet. “He’s dead,” I manage to get out before the first wave hits me and I’m vom iting all the cham‐ pagne I had tonight.

“You fuck ing killed him?” He yanks me back by my hair as I get sick all over myself. “Fucking bitch.” Hissing, he shoves me to the side, and I curl into myself.

I was disgusted afterward. That I’d allowed this man to touch me.

By how easily I’d thrown myself at him.

Kashton’s smile just grows, as if he knows how much he affected me. “You were so wet…begging me to fuck you.”

My nails dig into my palms.

“You were so loud. I had to place my hand over your mouth so no one would hear you. But I’m more than willing to let the world hear you scream my name now.”

“Kashton,” I say, try ing to calm my racing heart. I should have

never let him find me here.

“Yeah, angel?”

I whimper at the mention of the nickname he gave me all those years ago, and it grants me a winning smile. His perfectly straight white teeth glow under the light. He knows what he does to me.

“I’m not the same person I was,” I warn him.

Then, I had no choice. Didn’t know any better. Now, I un derstand I’m not some bitch a man can use. I’m a fuck ing storm and can de‐

stroy anything in my path.

“Neither am I.” He takes a long pull of the cigarette. “See, I wasn’t able to do anything about it then, but I can now.”

Literal butterflies flutter in my stomach at his choice of words. He wasn’t a Lord then. He was going through initiations. Now, he’s free and clear and can fuck whoever he wants. “Haven’t you mar ried by now?” I drop my eyes to his left hand, hoping he’s wearing a ring.

There has to be some unlucky woman out there chained to him for the rest of her life. Not like it would matter. They all cheat. Marriage means nothing to them.

Laughter follows once more. “Let’s just say I’ve been looking for the right one.”

“Well, most women aren’t thrilled to be treated like a pet.”

He takes another step closer, and I don’t re treat this time. “You want to be collared, angel? Want me to walk you around on a leash?”

I place my hand on my chest and speak. “Yes, please, my Lord. It’s my dream to bark for you.” I bat my fake lashes like a doting bitch.

A cruel smile graces his face under the moonlight, and it makes him look as hand some as I re mem ber. He’s wearing a hoodie, but I can see the ink that covers his hands. He didn’t have any tattoos before.

Not that I re member anyway. He gave me his suit jacket, but he never re moved his dress shirt. “How did you know I pre fer bitches over pussycats?”

“Call it a woman’s intu ition.” I roll my eyes, avoiding eye contact.

He steps into me, and I tilt my head, unable to stop myself, and meet his stare. My heart is hammer ing in my chest at our closeness.

He lifts his free hand and pushes the hair back from my face, his fin‐ gertips grazing my skin. My body shivers from the contact, but I’m going to blame it on the cool night air.

Blood rushes in my ears and the wind picks up, whip ping my hair.

He cups my face, and I hold my breath when he leans down. He’s no different from any other john. Let them get close and then attack.

“I’ve been looking for you, Eve.”

My skin tingles with excite ment at the threat. I whisper, “You found me.” I search his pretty blue eyes. “What are you going to do to

me?”

The cor ner of his lips twitch. “Whatever I want.”

His words send heat running up my spine. When his eyes drop to my lips, I know what’s coming. He’s going to kiss me, and I’m going to let him.

I lick my lips, a silent invita tion, as I reach into the pocket of my hoodie. I’ve been pre pared for this very mo ment since he walked into the cathedral with Haidyn to collect their prisoner. I knew he’d make his move, and I vowed to be ready.

Closing my eyes, I let him kiss me. I expect him to be rough and needy, but instead, it’s slow and savory. My hips push into his, and I

moan into his mouth as my pussy throbs.

It’s a natu ral re action.

He must drop his cigarette onto the ground, because his other hand cups my face as well, and he deepens the kiss, taking my breath away. His tongue dances with mine, and I follow his lead, let‐ ting him have control.

I push back the urge to wrap my arms around his neck and instead grip the object in my hoodie before I re move it. My free hand scrapes his scalp, and he moans into my mouth. It’s a shock straight to my pussy, mak ing it tingle.

No. No. No. No, my head screams. Not this again. I will not go back to the old me. I will not let him drag me back to the hell I crawled my way out of.

Opening my eyes, I see his are closed. Ignor ing my racing heart, I silently count to three before I yank his head back by his hair, sepa‐ rat ing our lips, and stab the tip of the syringe into his neck, empty‐ ing the contents before yanking it out.

I step back, and one of his hands falls to his side while the other slaps his neck, as if killing a bug that just bit him. “Wh-what?”

“You look unwell.” I step closer to him.

“Eve…” He blinks rapidly.

“I’ve known you’ve been following me, Kash. And like an idiotic man, you took the bait.” I smile, the feeling of control he had over me fading away fast.

He falls to his knees, his body rocking back and forth.

“As much as I love watching a man crumble, I must be going.”

He gives a rough laugh as he leans over with his hands now on the ground. “I’ll…be see ing you soon, an gel,” he whis pers.

I crouch down, pick his cigarette up off the dirty ground, and take a hit myself before I blow smoke in his face. “No, you won’t,” I say, and he gives an other rough laugh. “Stop following me, Kashton. This will be your only warning.”

He blinks rapidly, fighting the sedative, but it’s inevitable. When his eye lids finally fall, so does his body—face down onto the ground. I walk over to my bag, unzip it, and get what I want. Then I grab the hem of his hoodie, pushing the thick mate rial to his neck, exposing

his inked back.

KASHTON I blink, groaning at the harsh sun beating down on me while the side of my face is buried in dirt. My mouth feels like sandpaper. “Fu‐ ucckkk.” I roll over onto my back and some thing sharp pinches be‐ tween my shoul der blades.

Sitting up slowly, I reach over my head and slide my hand into my hoodie, feeling around for the pesky sting. There’s some thing there… I wrap my fin gers around it and yank. Bringing it before my face, I blink a few times to clear the haze in my vision, lean ing back against the tree.

It’s a ripped piece of paper that I wrinkled. I try to flatten it out the best I can, running my fin gers over it to see there are seven words written in red ink.

I chuckle. My fu ture wife has a sense of humor. It’s adorable.

Getting to my feet, I stumble, making my way down the hill and to‐ ward my car that’s parked in front of the cathedral, spitting out the foul taste that lingers in my mouth a few times.

I get to Carnage and park in the circle drive before dragging my ass into the building and up to the office.

Saint and Haidyn both look up at me. Saint opens his mouth as if he’s going to continue our argument from the basement, but then he closes his lips, frowning. “What the fuck happened to you?” he asks instead.

Haidyn sits back in his seat. “Looks like you slept out side.” His eyes sweep over the dirt, leaves, and stains on my jeans. “This have to do with you and Sin?”

I ignore that. One thing at a time, and right now it’s Eve.

“Where have you been?” Saint goes on at my silence. “We’ve been calling you.”

I had my cell off. My girl deserved my undivided attention. “The cemetery.” If they were so worried about me, they could have checked my tracker.

“Did you fuck in a grave?” They both laugh at Saint’s joke.

I grunt and reach over my head, yanking my hoodie off. Then do the same with my T-shirt. “Is there a tick on my back?” I ask, my voice still thick from the sedative. Fuck, I’m dying of thirst. “Some‐ thing is biting me.” I face away from them so they can take a look.

“What the fuck?” Saint wonders.

“What is it?” I look at them over my shoulder. “Spider bite?” Who knows what the fuck crawled all over me while I lay there on the ground, passed out.

They both ignore me while Haidyn reaches into his pocket and re‐ moves his pocketknife. He slaps it open. “Lean over your desk,” he

orders.

“What?”

Saint presses on the back of my neck, shoving me over the side of my desk. I’m too weak from whatever that shit was Eve gave me to fight him. I know it was a sedative. I’m just wondering how she got a hold of it and why the fuck she had it on her. I highly doubt she se dates her victims before she kills them. A woman like that enjoys the rush. She wants her victims to be awake and look her in the eye

when she takes their lives.

Haidyn starts counting. “Three…”

“What the fuck, man?”

“Two…” He yanks some thing out of my back. Saint lets go of me, and I jump up, spinning around to rub the sensitive spot.

“It’s…a staple? Looks like one we use in the basement when we need to put some one back to gether after we’re done playing.” Hai‐ dyn holds the bloody metal in front of my face. “Why the fuck was this in your back?”

I chuckle. “I’m guessing it was what kept this in place.” I pull the wrinkled note out of my jeans pocket and hold it out to them.

Haidyn takes it and frowns, reading it. “Don’t fuck with me. I fuck back.”

I fall into my chair, lean back, and toss my muddy boots onto my desk. Chunks fall onto the surface.

“Is this some new kink you’re trying out?” Saint asks.

“Maybe.” I shrug. “If that’s what she’s into.”

“Who?” Haidyn says.

Saint rolls his eyes. “Of course you were out all night with a woman. What does she look like?” He glances over my disheveled hair, dirty jeans, and smiling face. “She’s not buried alive in a casket right now, is she? Do we need to dig her out before she dies due to lack of oxygen?”

“Most likely chained in the basement.” Haidyn chuckles.

“Not yet.” I smile. The chase is half the fun, and some thing tells me my girl is going to put up one hell of a fight. But I’ll win. She will be‐ long to me forever.

I spent most of the day lying in bed, sleeping off the drugs, which pretty much made me useless. I was exhausted, but the IV Devin gave me has helped immensely. Always nice to have a doctor around.

Tonight, I want to go out. Get away from Saint and Haidyn. I’m still not in the mood to talk to them. I ride around town for a couple of hours until I find myself at Blackout.

I walk into Tyson’s office and see Sin sitting on the couch. I knew he was here because I saw his bike in the parking lot.

His blue eyes meet mine, and his still bruised face tightens. “I have to run, Ty,” he says, getting to his feet.

Ryat silently watches the exchange, noticing Sin’s change of mood.

Tyson frowns. “You just got here.”

“Yeah, well, some thing came up,” he lies, pulling Tyson in for a handshake hug.

“Okay. I’ll see you later,” Tyson tells him as he exits.

I go to follow when Ty speaks to me. “Don’t make a scene in my club,” he warns, know ing something is going on between us.

Ignor ing him, I exit his office. The ele vator is al ready closing, so I rush down the stairs and out the back door. “Sin?” I call out, seeing

him headed to his R1. “Eas ton Bradley Sinnett,” I yell, like I’m holler‐ ing at my unruly son. It does the trick.

“What the fuck do you want, Kashton?” he barks, turn ing to face me.

“I want to talk to you.” I place my hands in the pockets of my jeans, show ing him I’m not a threat. I’m not in the mood to fight him.

“I heard all I needed to hear, and I said all I needed to say.”

“We would never rat you out,” I assure him.

“We?” he growls.

Fuck.

“Who all fuck ing knows?” he demands.

I rub the back of my neck but won’t lie to him. “Me, Haidyn, and Saint.” He al ready knows Bill is aware because he made the deal with Adam.

“Goddammit. Just fuck ing great.” He gives a humorless laugh.

“Nothing will happen—”

“You can’t fuck ing make that prom ise,” he interrupts me. “And you

can’t pro tect Elli if someone talks.”

“Move into Carnage.”

He snorts.

“I’m seri ous,” I say. “We can pro tect both of you there.”

He shakes his head. “Yes terday I took my wife shopping. We picked out paint for the babies’ rooms. Afterward, I took her out to lunch.

She finally has the life she deserves. She’s a different person…happy.

And I can’t—I won’t—take that from her. I will not force her to hide… to live a life likehe had in hopes of survival. Plus, he could be on the run for another fifty years.”

“You’re right.” I hate admitting that Adam may never be free again.

“But I can pro tect Elling ton if something happens to you.”

“No. You can’t,” he argues. “If I’m dead, she’s regifted—”

“Make me her guardian.” I’m Charlotte’s guardian, but there’s no limit to how many broth ers can leave me in charge of their wives af‐ ter they die.

“What the fuck, Kashton?” he barks. “No!”

“It’s not like that.” I sigh. Sin would die before he willingly let an‐ other man touch his wife—ro mantically or to harm her.

“I’m not a fuck ing Spade brother.” He gives me his back, head ing to his bike once again, our conver sa tion over.

I step forward, and my question makes him pause. “What if I can make you one?”

The number of seconds that pass has me think ing I’ve gotten through to him. And then, finally, he shakes his head. “No. I won’t take that chance with her. Even if I could, it would make her invisi‐ ble. The world would assume she’s dead.”

“What’s better, Sin, huh? The world think ing she no longer exists, or the Lords regifting her to another Lord who passes her around to his friends? And what about the babies—”

His fist connects with my face before I even know he’s turned around. I wouldn’t fight him anyway. I owe him for what I did when I thought he helped take Adam from us.

“Fuck you, Kash,” he shouts, his fists slamming into my chest, knocking me back even farther. “Stay away from me and stay the fuck away from my wife.” With that, he gets on his bike, starts it up, revs his engine, and tears out of the parking lot, leaving a fresh black mark.

I make my way back up to Tyson’s office, and when I en ter, their chatter comes to an abrupt stop. My eyes go to the TV that hangs on the wall, and I see they’ve got the cameras show ing the back parking lot without audio. I look at Ryat, and he smirks as Tyson tosses him a hundred-dollar bill. “I bet Ty that Sin would be the first to throw a punch. The fact that you didn’t hit back tells me you de‐ served it.”