Chaotic (L.O.R.D.S. #7) — Chapter no 23

TWENTY-THREE

KASH TON

Twelve years old step off the ele vator and whis tle while making my way throughI the pits to the hallway that leads to the cells.

My heart begins to race when I see the first one on the right is open. I rush into it, looking around. My tennis shoes crunch the bro‐ ken glass that still re mains on the floor from last night when I vis‐ ited. Why haven’t they cleaned it? And the blood? The floor is cov‐ ered in it. Something has been dragged through it. Smear ing it

across the concrete floor.

“Why are you down here?”

I turn around to see my father following me and step into the cell.

“Where is she?” I demand.

“She’s gone, Kashton.”

“You moved her?” I shove him out of the way and rush out of her cell. I go to the one across from her. Wrapping my hands around the bars, I scream into it. “Mom?” A frail woman sits in the far corner, her arms wrapped around her bony legs with her head down, trying to hide her naked body. “Where is she?” I shout, and the person

flinches.

“Kashton.”

“Mom?” I scream, starting to panic. I run down the hallway, scan‐ ning each cell. There are a few that don’t have bars, just concrete doors, and I slam my fists on them as I call to her, hoping she an‐ swers from the other side.

“She’s gone, Kashton.” My father yanks me back by my shirt and spins me around to face him.

p “You killed her.” I punch him, and he pushes me away. “Why? Why would you do that?” Tears sting my eyes.

“She killed herself.”

“No.” I refuse to believe that. “She wouldn’t leave me.”

“Come on.” He grabs my upper arm and pulls me through the base‐ ment and to the morgue.

We enter a cold room that has rows and rows of draw ers stacked three high. It’s where they keep the bodies. There’s a metal ta ble in the cen ter with a white sheet over it that’s soaked in blood.

A knot gets lodged in my throat when my father walks over to it and yanks it back.

It’s my mother, but I refuse to believe it. “No.” My tear-filled eyes go to his.

“She took a piece of glass and slit her throat,” he explains, running his fin ger across her neck, following the open wound. It looks al most fake. Like a Halloween costume with its un even line.

“This is your fault,” I scream. My chest is squeezing. I can’t breathe. “You…you didn’t clean up the shattered glass.” It was from the light bulb that had bro ken. It was all over the floor. “It was cut‐ ting her.” She had blood on her hands and knees last night from crawling around her cell.

He says nothing, and I walk over to her and place my hands on her arm. I’ve never been able to touch her before. Even in her cell, she never tried to reach out to me or get close enough to hold my hand.

That’s all I ever wanted. To show her how much she meant to me.

How much I love her.

“No.” I shake my head. “She wouldn’t leave me. She loves me…”

Tears roll down my face. “Please…Mom.” I sniff when my nose be‐ gins to run, digging my fingers into her cold skin. “No.”

“Sometimes you have to hurt the one you love.”

“You’ve never hurt me.”

“I will. It’s life…inevitable.”

She knew last night what she was going to do. That she was going to leave me. End her life. I bow my head and close my eyes tightly to try and keep the tears from falling in front of my father. He’ll see me as weak. “Please, God—”

I’m ripped from her, and my father digs his fin gers into my upper arms. “Are you fuck ing praying?” he snaps, and I try to pull away, but he just tightens his grip. “God doesn’t exist, boy. You are the

god.”

I shake my head.

“Yes. You are judge, jury, and exe cutioner. You decide who lives,

suffers, and dies.”

“I will never be like you,” I scream.

“Sir, we’re ready,” a voice says from behind me.

My father lets me go and nods to them. “Then get it done.”

The man starts to roll my mother to a door on the opposite side of the room. “Where is she going?” I demand, looking at him. “What are you going to do?”

“Cre mat ing her. Then I’m throw ing her ashes out with the trash.”

I wake up to my cell ringing, and for a second, I just lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Eve has brought back memo ries I’ve tried to forget, and I know why. A part of me wants to save her from her‐ self. I failed my mother. The saying goeshistory re peats itself, and I won’t do the same when it comes to Eve.

But it’s different with my fu ture Lady. I knew I wanted her before I even knew who she was, be fore I knew about her past.

It rings again and I think about ignor ing it. Maybe trying to go back to sleep dreaming of Eve and the fu ture we’re going to have.

When it rings once more, I decide to answer it. I need to get up anyway. If I stay in bed all day, the guys will be in here asking too many ques tions. “Hello?”

“Hey,” comes Sin’s voice. “You busy right now?”

“Depends,” I say and roll my eyes. I sound like a bitch playing hard

to get.

“I thought about going for a ride.”

“Give me twenty.” I hang up and jump in the shower. I’m a little slower than usual because of the two days I spent with Eve. My cock is still hard thinking about what we did. How I played with my angel.

I’m standing in the garage at Carnage with one of the doors up when I hear his bike coming down the road. He’s got a loud muffler on it.

Seeing him pull up, I take a helmet off the wall. Be tween the three of us here, we’ve got a large collec tion. “Put this on.” I shove it into his chest. “We both know Elli only mar ried you because she thinks you’re pretty.”

He laughs and shoves the helmet over his head, fas tening it under‐ neath his chin. I’m not going to be the reason he crashes and dies. I don’t want Elli coming after me because of his stupidity.

I put my earbuds in, turn on Spotify, and blast music. We ride for I don’t know how long, taking curves too fast, lane splitting, and pop‐ ping wheelies. We’re just two guys out being dumbasses and not caring. Cars honk and flip us off. We just wave and nod at them.

Man, I’d hate to have a life like theirs. Live a little. You’re going to die eventu ally. Some much sooner than others. Why not enjoy it?

One woman flashes us while her friend laughs from the driver’s seat.

It does nothing for me. She isn’t my girl. Be fore Eve, I’d have given her my number since it’d be an easy lay. Not anymore. All I need is my angry an gel.

We’re at a stop light when Sin waves to me. I turn my music down and raise my visor.

“I need gas,” he calls out, and I nod, slamming my face shield down at the same time.

We pull into a gas station and get off the bikes. Re moving our hel‐ mets, he starts fu eling and leans up against the side of his bike while he texts away on his cell.

I might as well top mine off too. Once I’m done, I look over at him, and he’s staring at me. “What?” I knew this was too good to be true.

“The guys tell you to call me? Tell you to take me on a playdate?”

I’m half joking but also expect him to say yes.

“No. Tyson called me and said you beat the shit out of three guys at the club the other night.” He shrugs. “Not that I care about them, but I thought you could use some fresh air.”

I look away. Did Ty call everyone? I know I made a scene, but

damn.

“What happened?” he asks at my silence.

“Doesn’t matter.”

He chuckles. “I’m sure it was over a woman, and that matters.”

I look back at him, and he arches a brow, daring me to argue.

“Is this the ‘I’ll take care of it’ girl?” He brings up the conver sa tion we had in the office at Carnage.

I’ve been waiting for him to ask me if I’ve handled it. This is proba‐ bly his way of wanting to know what I’ve found out about her.

I look away and sigh heavily. “Yes. It’s Eve.” I run a hand through

my helmet hair.

“And?” he urges.

“And she was there that night.” I shrug.

“With another man?”

I laugh at that thought. “No.” If my girl were with another man, I’d have killed him. Not just beaten the shit out of him. “Some guys I know from Bar rington were talk ing about her.”

He frowns. “What were they saying?”

“Called her a whore.” The conver sa tion she had with Adam in the bathtub comes to mind.Not like we’ve discussed past sexual part‐ ners. It doesn’t matter how many men she’s been with, as long as she understands I’ll be the only one from here on out.

Sin’s jaw sharpens at my words. We all know Elli’s past. What her family did to her. They tried to devalue her. They physically and mentally abused her, tried to push her over the edge. To make her look insane. All because of money. They wanted what had been left to her. And the Lords took advantage of her as well. They knew how much Sin loves her, so they sent him on a mission to break her. But she was stronger than any of them could have imagined.

“It was more than that,” I go on at his silence. “Called her use‐

less—”

“Useless?” he re peats.

“She can’t have children.” I shrug. “At least that’s what I got of out it.” He tilts his head to the side, wondering how I came to that con‐ clu sion. “They said she was the perfect bitch that you fuck on the side when you’re mar ried. I just put two and two together that they

couldn’t knock her up.”

“Have you asked her?”

“We’re not there…yet.”

He laughs. “So she doesn’t know you exist.”

“Oh, she knows.” I chuckle to myself.

He looks away, dropping his arms from his chest and burying his

hands in his jeans pockets.

“She was a doll,” I tell him.

His wide eyes meet mine. “Maybe…maybe they sterilize them?” he offers softly. “Like you guys do with women at Carnage.”

“Maybe.” Hones tly, I don’t know enough for that not to be an op‐ tion. “What about Elli?” I ask. Changing the subject. I still don’t know enough about Eve to answer all the questions I know he has.

“What about my wife?” he growls, as if I’m implying some thing.

“How’s she doing?” I clarify. “She was pretty upset after herap‐ pointment.”

He nods, looking away. “She’s good. Does it every time. Calls it a cleansing cry.”

“Ice cream seemed to have done the trick.”

He laughs softly. “Yeah. Thank you, by the way. For taking her.”

“I can help anytime,” I tell him. Still not sure what she had an ap‐ pointment for, but it’s none of my business anyway. If they need me, I’ll do what ever, no questions asked.

“How are you doing?” I haven’t seen him in a while, so I’m going to get as much information out of him as possible.

“Fine,” he an swers too quickly.

“Are you having hallucinations from the founders’ en hancements?”

He drops his head, looking down at the ground, and sighs. “They come and go.”

“Want to talk about it?” I’ve al ways been the single Spade brother who is willing to talk about his feelings. The oth ers never have. I get it. We’re raised to not have any. I just never understood why it was

better to not show them.

“I—”

“You two going to fucking move or what?”

We both glance over to see a truck now parked behind me. “Excuse me?”

“Fucking move! You’ve been sitting talking like two bitches for ten minutes.”

“There are other pumps you can use,” I say, gesturing around to the other available pumps.

“If you don’t move in five sec onds, I’m going to run your fuck ing bike over.” He slaps the side of his door as if to prove a point.

“Go ahead. I’ll shove the leftover pieces up your ass,” Sin tells him with a smile.

The driver’s door opens, and the man jumps out. He could be Hai‐ dyn’s twin in size and height, if not a little taller. Wearing denim

overalls and a hat that says Try Me.

Care ful what you wish for.

The passenger door opens, and another man jumps out with a fuck ing baseball bat.

Sin glances at me, his smile grow ing. “Knew this would come in handy.” He picks up the helmet that sits on the seat of his bike and swings at the guy who is now running to ward him.

I don’t get to see the rest be cause the second guy knocks me to the ground.

Sirens blare in the distance.

“Thanks for making my day, fucker.” Sin kicks the one at his feet.

I re move my cell from my back pocket and make a quick call.

“Is this you calling to apolo gize?” he asks in greeting.

“Sin and I are about to get arrested,” I tell Tyson as the sirens grow closer. The clerk came out a minute ago and screamed for us to stop before he ran back inside to hide and call the cops.

“Jesus Christ. You two—”

“Call your detective,” I interrupt him.

“Kash—”

“See you soon.” I hang up when the flash ing lights pull into the gas station. Three police cars come to a screech ing halt. Sin and I raise our hands while both guys whine, rolling around on the dirty ground.

I could pull the Lords card, but I’m not in the mood for that. Not when Tyson has a connection that could get us out of it.

All officers exit their cars with guns trained right at us. “Lie on the ground. Face down,” one orders.

“Can I have my phone call be fore you take us in?” I joke.

“On the ground. Hands be hind your back,” he commands.

“Guess that’s a no.” Sin chuckles.

We both slowly get to our knees, lie down, and do as they say.

We’re cuffed and shoved into different cop cars.

I watch the man in uniform pull out his cell as he walks around our

bikes.

EVERETT The two days I spent with Kashton fucked me up. Physically, I’ve got bruises. Mentally, I’m drained and confused.

I’ve tried to talk myself down. Given myself every reason in the book as to why it was okay, but it’s not enough.

It was dis gusting how desperate I was. How much I begged to be treated like a dog. I even had a collar and leash to complete the act.

All I was miss ing was a butt plug with a tail and a dog bowl that said Good Girl on it. But I didn’t need that because he hand-fed me.

De gradation is a kink we learned to crave at Dollhouse. No one can understand the extent they went to in order to make us need some‐ thing so bad we feared we may die with out it.

Then the drugs. Fuck, the drugs controlled our thoughts and bod‐ ies. There’s no winning against them.

Everything was stacked against us. Stripped of not only our clothes but also our dignity—body and mind. We were no longer our selves.

We were who they wanted us to be—sex slaves.

I sit in my bathtub, sipping on a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Sinatra Cen‐ tury Tennessee Whiskey, try ing to re cover from Kashton. His hands, his cock, his words…they all controlled me for those forty-eight hours.

He steps out of the mausoleum, hold ing the door for me. In my bare feet, I walk down the two steps and onto the dead grass lit‐ tered with small twigs. They dig into my feet, but it’s my throbbing pussy that has me whimpering.

I shiver when the cold wind blows my hair around. He drops his bag and the leash to my collar. I wait patiently like a good, trained pet while he digs through his bag and then stands when he finds what he needs. Stepping behind me, he gathers my hair and ties it

pp gg y at the nape of my neck with a rubber band, getting it out of my face

the best he can.

Then he picks up the bag and the leash.

“Kashton.” I lick my lips nervously. “Where are we going?” I never thought of asking where we’re going to spend these next forty-eight hours, but I can’t move my arms, and I’m standing naked out side in the mid dle of the night. Where could we pos sibly be going?

“To the cathe dral,” he an swers. “Lead the way, angel.”

He followed behind me, leash in hand, while I walked through the cemetery, down the hill, and back to the cathedral. He let me lead him like an obedient pet. My head was high, and my clamped nip‐ ples pushed out like I was a proud dog whose owner was taking her out for an evening walk. The only thing I didn’t do was squat and piss in the grass.

A single tear runs down my cheek, and I take another swig from the whiskey bottle as my mind re minds me of who I re ally am. Pa‐ thetic.

We enter the cathedral and he leads me up the stairs at the back.

My legs still shake, and my arms have gone numb. I can’t feel any‐ thing but my throbbing pussy, and it aches for him. I’ll take any‐ thing. His mouth, his dick, or his fingers. I just need to come.

He pushes a big wooden door open and allows me to en ter first.

It’s a bedroom. The only one in the cathedral. It’s mas sive. Big four- poster bed, old wooden floors, and stained-glass windows.

It’d be beau tiful if not for the story behind it. “Are you going to fuck me now?” I ask, unable to hide the longing in my voice.

He drops his bag and turns to face me. Slowly he reaches around and re moves the rubber band and lets my hair fall over my back.

Hook ing his pointer fin ger into the chain of the nipple clamps, he gently pulls me forward.

I trip over my own feet, hissing in a breath at the sting when I step forward.

“Fuck you?” He frowns, but his eyes tell a different story. They’re amused. He’s silently laughing at me.

My pulse races at the thought of him not letting me get off. Is this a pun ishment? “Please, Kash. I need—”

p “I told you I was going to play with you, Eve.” He interrupts my pleas. “This isn’t about your needs.” I whimper, and it grants me a smirk that I would do anything for. “It’s about mine. The only hole of yours I’m going to be fuck ing is your pretty face. Over and over. You will wear as much of my cum as you will swallow.”

I part my lips at the mention of him fuck ing my throat. It’s still so sore, but I’m ready to go again. To show him how good I can be.

He re wards me with a smile and continues. “Right now, I need you to be a good little pet.” I rub my shaking thighs together, knowing that’s probably all I’m going to get for the next two days. “Kneel,” he orders. His tone is authoritative, leaving no room to argue or dis‐ obey.

I fall to my knees on the old hardwood floor, my head hanging as angry tears fill my eyes. But my head is lifted when he pulls my col‐ lar. I see him wrap the end of the leash around a hook on the wall.

It forces me to keep my head up.

He steps away, picks up his bag, and starts going through it while he leaves me here to wait for him. And I will, because that’s what I was trained to do.

I take another drink from the bottle. A bigger one than last time.

Fuck, I’m such a stupid bitch.

Have you ever hated some one with all you have? You don’t even know why you dislike them, just that you can’t stand the sight of them. The sound of their voice makes you cringe and the way they

laugh makes your ears bleed.

That’s how I feel about myself.

I don’t even know who I am anymore. I knew on theIsabella that Kashton would fuck my life up if given the chance, and I gave him one. Forty-eight uninterrupted hours with me, and he tore every piece of me away that I’ve spent building up over the past six years.

Tipping back the whiskey, I go to take another drink, but it’s empty.

Sitting up, I throw it across the bathroom, and it hits the wall, shat‐

tering across my floor.

“Fuck!” I scream.

Falling back into the tub, I stare up at my ceiling, trying to gain my composure and slow my racing heart. I can’t see him again. That’s

all there is to it. I have to cut him out of my life. But how? He’s made it very clear that he won’t leave me alone. And why would he?

I’m giving him everything he wants. My body, my mind. I’m sure he’s out fucking another stupid bitch right now. Or he’s at Carnage laugh‐ ing with his broth ers about what I did for him while I’m here, unable to get him out of my mind.

Sitting up once again, I grab a towel and dry my hands. Then I pick up my cell and call the one person who can help me. I place it on speaker phone and set it down when it starts to ring.

“Hey, I’ll probably lose you,” Adam greets me.

“I—”

“I was going to call you as soon as I got service, but I’ll go ahead and tell you now. You’ve got a job tonight. You should be getting the info within the hour,” he rushes out.

I was going to take him up on his offer. Ask him to get me out of town. To take me as far away from here as he can. I can work any‐ where. There are shit people all over this world who need to be killed for the dis gusting shit they do to those they see as easy tar‐ gets.

“Eve?” he barks. “Everything okay? You there?” When I don’t an‐ swer fast enough, I hear him talking to some one else. “I think I lost her…my service sucks.”

“I’m here,” I say roughly, clearing my sore throat.

“Eve? Can you hear me?”

I blink rapidly to keep the an gry tears at bay. “Yeah. I can hear you.”

“Okay. Per fect. The information is on its way. Good luck and be safe. Text me when it’s done.”Click.

He hangs up, and I slide farther down into the tub, feeling my chest tighten. The thought of drowning myself enters my mind. But it could be days before I’m found, and I just don’t want to lie in cold bathwater until some one comes looking for me. Bysome one, I mean either Adam or Bill. No one else will care.

That’s not true. Kashton knows where I live. He made that very clear when he showed up in my basement and fucked me. He wants me to know that I can’t escape him.

My phone beeps, signaling a text, and I know it’s my job. The infor‐ mation I need for tonight. I decide I might as well do some thing pro duc tive rather than lie here wallowing in self-pity. One more night and one less bastard in this world.

I’m the one who did this to myself. I could have told Kash ton no.

Made him force me to be his whore if he wanted to watch me beg to be fucked that badly.

I hate that the thought excites me. That not having a choice turns me on more than anything. Even as I kneeled at his feet, tied up and collared while he fucked my mouth, my pussy was dripping for him. Forty-eight hours later, I could take his large, pierced cock down my throat like I had been doing it for years.

“That’s it…good girl…fuck, angel…look at how well you’re doing.”

He praised me while I drooled all over myself like a dog forced to stare at their food while they wait for their owner to give them per‐ mission to eat it. And fuck, did I eat it. Swallowed it whole.

My phone beeps again, and I ignore it, sliding into the hot bathwa‐ ter until it’s up to my chin. Closing my eyes, I bend my knees and slide under it to wet my hair. I’ll do my job and then I’ll get the hell

out of town.

De cision made.