Chaotic (L.O.R.D.S. #7) — Chapter no 80

EIGHTY

EV ERETT

“How long have I been here, Adam?” I demand, sitting in his of‐ fice. I was finally allowed to leave my room today after my catheter and feeding tube were re moved. I’m weak from being confined to bed and living off Jell-O cups. I want my husband, some pancakes, and a bottle of whiskey. In that order.

Adam and I were never close, but now I hate his guts. Is he hurt ing my husband on purpose? Did they have a falling out and this is him getting even?

His green eyes pin me from where he sits behind the desk. “A little

over three weeks.”

My teeth grind. “I need to leave.”

“Eve—”

“This isn’t up for debate,” I snap. “You’ve kept me strapped to that bed for long enough. I need to find Kashton.”

He sits back in his seat, and I turn to see Bill enter the room when the door opens. “We know where he is,” Bill states.

“How long have you known?” I demand, but neither answers me.

“Do his broth ers know?” Maybe Sin and Ryat found him and re turned him to Carnage to be with Saint and Haidyn. Maybe Saint filled him in that I’m alive. That he heard my voice, and I’ll be home soon.

Adam shakes his head.

I fist my hands to keep from punching his fuck ing face. “Take me to

him,” I com mand. “Right fucking now.”

“You’re not ready,” Adam argues.

“Ready for what? To see my husband?” That’s ridiculous. “This is not your decision to make.”

His eyes slowly look over my body, and I roll mine. I’ve been seeing a doc tor. I’ve been cleared. I still get winded easily, and I can only walk for short peri ods of time, but for the most part, I’m me. I feel better. But I don’t care if I was in a fuck ing coma; he should not have kept Kash from me.

I get up and slowly walk over to Bill and do what I never thought I’d do in my life. “Daddy, please,” I beg the man that took me in. He saved me to give me a better life, and this is my better life. To be with Kashton. “He needs me.” My husband’s been lied to, and he’s

hurt ing. “I need him.”

“I don’t think—”

“It’s fine,” Bill interrupts Adam, and I want to throw myself into his arms and cry happy tears.

Adam clenches his jaw and narrows his eyes on him. Obviously, that’s not what they’ve discussed.

I couldn’t care less. At least one of them is on my side. “Where is he?” I’ll fucking walk there if I have to.

“Adam will take you,” Bill assures me, but his eyes are on Adam.

“Take me to him. Now,” I order and turn my back on them. I don’t have my cell phone or my wedding ring. All I have is a set of clothes that Adam and Bill gave me—a T-shirt and sweat pants. They’re not even mine. Who knows where they came from.

“You’ll wear this until Adam re moves it,” Bill states, pulling a blind‐ fold from the inside of his suit jacket.

My wide eyes go to his, my heart racing. “Why?”

“You either wear it or you stay here.” He leaves no room to argue, shaking the black fabric.

I yank it from his hands and slide it over my eyes. If this is what gets me to my husband… Taking in a shaky breath, my sight is taken away, and I hold out my right hand and say, “I’m ready.”

The blindfold is yanked from my eyes, and I look around. Nothing but trees and a two-lane road. The clock on the dash shows its al‐ most midnight.

Adam doesn’t speak to me, and I have nothing to say to him. He’s betrayed his brother.

I still don’t know where we were or why I was with Adam and Bill.

They never told me, and believe me, I asked. They pre tended like I didn’t. And hones tly, I’m not sure if it even matters. I was drugged for most of my stay. This morn ing was the first time I was allowed out of bed to use the re stroom on my own and got to shower. I still feel lightheaded, hungover-like, and starving.

He pulls off the road and comes to a stop at a mo tel next to a biker bar. My teeth grind that this is where he is. “You’ve known the whole

fuck ing time,” I growl.

“He’s in room 111.”

“Is this a joke?”

“No.” Adam sighs, re laxing into the driver’s seat. “I’ll wait here.” His

green eyes meet mine. “Don’t fuck him.”

“Excuse me?” I snap.

“You heard me.” His eyes drop to my chest. “You’re not healed.”

Then he looks away. “He’ll be rough. You’ll get injured, and then you’re back in the hospital, setting your re covery back.”

I don’t re spond to that. I get out, slam the car door, and rush into the motel room.

With out knocking, I turn the handle, and it opens. The door squeaks as I step inside. It’s darkly lit with a single lamp that buzzes in the far corner. I broke the other one. There’s still no TV, and it makes my chest ache. He always has to sleep with the TV on. The re search I’ve done shows that those who feel aban doned need to feel as if they’re not alone. The noise from a TV gives them the illu‐ sion that someone is in the room with them.

The place smells of booze and cigarettes. Worse than I re member.

Stepping forward, glass crunches under my shoes. The mirror wall is shattered, and I see my wedding ring along with a folded piece of paper on the table.

I pick it up and unfold it. Silently, I read over it.

Turning, I see him lying in the middle of the bed naked. He’s so tall that his feet hang off the end. He’s on his stomach, arms fanned out, the pillows and blankets on the floor.

Tears silently run down my face after reading his letter to Saint and Haidyn. What happened that he thought I’d died? What or who did he bury that he thought was me? Was it a body burned past recog ni‐ tion? A fake body? Wouldn’t Devin have run blood work?

If I thought Kash ton were dead, I would do everything imaginable to question it. I wouldn’t accept it.

Setting the letter down, I see another one folded just the same. I grab it, hurrying to unfold it.

My watery eyes drop to the gun on the floor. Bending down, my shaking hands pick it up and pop open the cylinder. One bullet re‐ mains in the re volver, and it was lined up with the barrel. Now his letter to his broth ers makes sense, along with the scattered ammuni‐ tion. Was he going to kill himself? Did he try? The thought terrifies me.

Adam’s words echo in my mind.”Just because you don’t pull the trigger, doesn’t mean your actions won’t kill him.”

Setting the gun down, I quickly rip my clothes off and crawl on the bed next to him. Fuck Adam and what he said. My husband needs me. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I made a vow to be his and that means giving him whatever he needs.

“Kash?” I say, running the tips of my nails along his tatted arm.

“Kashton, I’m here.” I shake his shoulder, getting his attention.

“Wake up, Kash.”

Oh God, he’s not already dead, is he?

He groans, shifting his weight to his side. Placing his arm over me, he pulls me into him, and I sniff, try ing to hold the fresh tears back.

“Eve.” He sighs my name.

My chest squeezes at the sound of his rough voice. I sob that he’s alive. “Yeah, baby. I’m here.” I lick my trembling lips. “I’m here with you.”

“I miss you so much, angel,” he whis pers, and my stom ach drops.

“Wake up… Kash.” I clear my throat, trying to sound author ita tive, but I’ve got a massive knot re stricting my words.

My watery eyes roam his face, and my heart hurts at what I see. He looks like shit. Busted nose and lip. Swollen eyes, bruises, and cuts.

He hasn’t shaved in who knows how long. “What happened to you?”

My hands shake, afraid to touch him but wanting to help at the same

time.

Is he in pain?

His heavy lashes flutter open, and I get a quick glimpse of his pretty blue eyes before they fall closed. They look bloodshot and tired. His hand moves up my spine as I cud dle into him, and I slide my nails down his tatted back.

“I love you,” I tell him as I bury my face in his neck and kiss his warm skin. He feels alarmingly hot. Does he have a fever? Are his cuts infected? Why hasn’t he had Gavin come by and look at him?

“Eve?” He pulls back, and this time his eyes are open and on mine.

“Yeah, Kash.” I sniff. “It’s me. I’m here,” I assure him. “I—”

His lips find mine, and I allow him to push me onto my back. I wrap my legs around his waist, and my hands go to his unkempt hair.

He kisses me so hard it takes my breath away, his beard tick ling my face. Lifting his hips, his hand falls between our bodies, and I beg

him to fuck me, pushing Adam’s words out of my mind.

I need him and he needs me. I made it on time. He’s here and alive.

Pulling my lips from his, I beg him, “Please fuck me, Kash. I need you.”

“I need you too, angel.” He slides his pierced cock into my pussy with no fore play.

I’m not even close to being wet, but I would never deny him. He buries his face in my neck while he works his hips back and forth, my pussy becoming wet with each thrust.

“Fuck, angel.” He groans. “Fuck, I miss you so much.”

Tears fall from the corners of my eyes. “I’m here, Kash.” My throat burns with trying to hold in a sob at how he feels. That he thought I’d leave him. But I can see why he thinks that. I told him goodbye. I thought I was going to die, so I made him think that as well. Just like he put doubt in my head when he chased me out of this room and I thought I’d woken up in Dollhouse.

“I love you, Eve. I love you so much.” His weight is on top of me, his face in my neck with my arms and legs wrapped around him, hold ing him to me.

“I…love you,” I tell him, try ing to catch my breath. There’s a pain in my upper chest that I ignore.

“I never made love to you…I’m so sorry. Please know I love you, angel.”

He fucks me as tears run down the side of my face. I wish I could stop them, but I can’t.

I was terrified of what I’d find and then hor rified by what I did. I cling to him, telling him how much I love him while he holds me like there is no tomorrow. As if this is our last time together. But it can’t be. I won’t let it. I’ll show up every time for him. No matter what it costs.