Chaotic (L.O.R.D.S. #7) — Chapter no 34

THIRTY-FOUR

KASH TON

allowed Eve to leave me this afternoon. I pro fessed my love forI her, and she gave me her back. Walked out of my house and over to hers.

She’ll re turn. It will just take time. I know it’s a lot for her to process. To open up to me. But she will.

I find myself at Carnage tonight. It’s weird. I haven’t been here much lately. Now I understand why Haidyn chose to stay away with Charlotte.

I make my way down to the basement and see a petite brunette standing in the middle of the room. She looks over her shoulder at me when she hears me approaching. Charlotte gives me a smile that I don’t re turn, caus ing hers to fall.

It’s not her. I’m just in a shit mood that I can’t seem to shake. I’m not sure what the fuck to do about Eve. Do I force her hand, kidnap her, and put her in my basement? Or do I let her come willingly? The second may never happen. How much time do I give her? When do I de cide for her? Adam said I had a timeline before the cops show up and ar rest her. I’ll have to make my move before then if she doesn’t come around. Plus, now I’m waiting for the Lords to give her an assignment. That may come before the cops do.

“What do you want to do?” Haidyn asks Saint when I come to stand next to Charlotte. His blue eyes meet mine and he nods in greeting.

Again, I don’t acknowl edge him. I’m try ing to decide why I even crawled out of bed this morning.

Saint runs a hand down his face and sighs, keeping his attention on the man lying on the metal table.

“You killed him,” I say, noticing the body.

Saint turns to look at me. “He killed himself.”

“Suicide?” I clarify.

“Seems so,” Haidyn answers, walking from the ta ble to come stand

next to his wife.

“With what?”

“Knife. Stabbed himself.”

I snort. “No way did he get a hold of a knife down here. I call bull‐ shit.”

I only know about one suicide that has ever happened down here, and it was my mother who used a bro ken piece of a light bulb. We don’t leave things lying around for the prisoners to use as weapons.

Carnage is all about torture, and letting prisoners kill themselves de‐ feats the purpose.

“He was in his cell last night, and I found him with it in his neck this morning. How else do you explain it?” Saint snaps at me.

“Why would he stab himself in the neck?” Charlotte wonders. “I feel like there are ways to do it other than…that.”

Again, how my mother killed herself. Is it a sign? Is someone fuck‐ ing with me inside of Carnage? Isabella maybe? I can’t speak to her in front of the guys, because I don’t want them to find out about Eve. If I start questioning her, then she could question me.

I nod, agreeing with her, and Haidyn looks to Saint, as if to also agree with his wife.

“When you’re desperate, you use what you have on hand. He obvi‐ ously had a knife, so that’s what he chose to use,” Saint argues.

Just then, the sound of the ele vator dinging has us all looking over as the plastic strip curtains split and a familiar Lord enters the base‐ ment. “What are you doing here, man?” I ask, reach ing out my right hand.

“Thought I’d stop by for a little visit.” He pulls me in for a hand‐ shake hug and slaps my back, then pulls away to do the same to Haidyn before walking over to Saint.

He glances at Charlotte and then to Haidyn. “Can we talk in the of‐ fice?”

“Sure,” he answers, and then turns to his wife. She’s glaring up at him. I don’t think Haidyn under stands that the Lord doesn’t want to talk business around his Lady. “I’ll only be a minute. I’ll meet you upstairs.” He kisses her fore head and then turns to follow the Lord out of the base ment. “Saint…Kash? You guys coming?” Haidyn calls out, and Saint follows after them. Leaving the dead man unattended on the metal table.

“I’ll be right there,” I say and turn to Charlotte. “What was that about?” I ask, being nosy once the guys leave.

She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “He came by Haidyn’s

house.”

I frown. “Who?”

“The guy…that Lord. He was at Haidyn’s house while we were stay‐ ing there.”

She means when he was hid ing her from Saint and me. “You sure it was him?”

“Yes,” she snaps when her blue eyes meet mine. “I answered the door for him.”

“Come on.” I grab her hand and drag her toward the ele vator.

“I know where I’m going,” Charlotte growls, putting her back against the wall when I push the floor for the office.

I ignore her. I’m not going to leave her down here in the basement.

If something happens to her, it would be my fault. The ele vator stops on the floor for our office. I press the button for the birdcage and order, “Wait for Hai dyn in his room.”

She lets out a huff, and I’m not sure if it’s because I told her what to do or if it’s because I called their roomhis.

Making my way down the hallway, I shove the office door open so hard it hits the inte rior wall, and they all three look up at me.

“Kash—”

“He knew where you were the entire time?” I bark at Haidyn.

His eyes go from mine to the Lord standing next to him. Then back to me. The Lord steps forward. “Kashton —”

“Save it, Hooke.” He’s not the one I want to hear from. “Charlotte, Saint, Adam, and Hooke all knew where you were when you left here. Everyone except me?” I demand, but Haidyn doesn’t answer.

In stead, he straight ens his back and crosses his tatted arms over his chest. I know I’m not getting shit from him. No surprise there.

For some reason, he’s locked me out. What the fuck did I do that he chose to keep everything from me? I’ve never betrayed him. Not that I know of anyway. And if for some reason he felt I had, I would do everything I could to make it up to him.

Turning, I make my way up to my room and grab a base ball hat.

Just as I pick one up off the dresser, my door opens.

“We need to talk.”

“Too late,” I say, turning to face Hai dyn.

“Why are you being a little bitch?” he barks at me. Then he sighs.

“Look, when I left here, I went to Las Ve gas.”

I nod, already knowing that. When he finally decided to come around, he told Saint and me that.

“I ran into Hooke at the Airport, and he asked me to help him.”

I give a rough laugh. “Let me guess, you can’t tell me what it was about.” He looks away, and I roll my eyes. “Thought so.”

“Kash—”

“It’s fine, Haidyn.” I know where I stand with him. At the fuck ing bottom. There was a time that we both thought Saint was dead and Adam was gone. It was just the two of us left, caged here in this hell with that crazy bitch. We only had one another. There were nights I thought that he was dead too, think ing that I was the only Spade brother left, and it was fucking terrifying. Not because of what that meant re garding the Lords but because it meant I was left in this world alone. Now I re alize that’s exactly what I am. Alone.

I shoulder past him out of my room and pull the hat on, head ing back to the ele vator to the garage. I need to go for a ride.

EVERETT Twenty years old I roll over and open my eyes to a set of dark ones staring at me.

“Fuck,” I hiss, jumping out of bed. “What the fuck, Evan?” I push my wild hair from my face. “What are you doing here?”

yy g He doesn’t answer. In stead, he lies back in my bed, plac ing his hands under his head to prop it up. “Leave,” I order, yanking a T- shirt off a chair and sliding it on. I shouldn’t be sleep ing naked. “Get

the fuck out of my house.”

He laughs. “Your house?”

“Yes. It’s my fuck ing house. Get the fuck out.” I rush to the bed‐ room door, but he jumps out of bed and moves to stand in front of it

to block my exit.

I step back.

“Bill bought this house. I’m sure he used Mom’s money for it.” He places his hands on the doorframe. “So technically…it’s our house.”

I swallow nervously. No. No. “I didn’t know…”

“That I’m your brother?” He tilts his head to the side. “Come on, sis. It just makes this better, don’t you think?” He laughs at my si‐ lence. “I knew Bill would tell you. Dear ole dad. Can’t help but be a savior.” He looks me up and down, and I wish the shirt was longer.

“It was pathetic how much he loved her.” Evan steps forward, and I take a step back. “He couldn’t save Mom, but he was going to do ev‐ erything he could for you.”

“Leave. Right fuck ing now,” I demand through gritted teeth. “I won’t tell you again.”

He gives me a smile, show ing off his teeth like a monster in the night that’s going to rip my throat out. “You’ve al ways been a feisty bitch. You definitely didn’t get that from Mother.”

“Stop talking about her,” I growl. I hate that I didn’t get to know her. Probably for the best. She’d be so disappointed in me. Who I am. I’m going to make sure I become a woman she’d be proud of.

Someone who stands up for women who are forced into silence. Bill gave me a chance, and I’m not going to waste it. “Get out.” I point to the door. “Get the fuck out.” I shove his chest, screaming at the top of my lungs, making my throat burn.

He grabs my neck and picks me up, slamming me onto the bed. He straddles my hips and pins me down, chok ing me while I kick and buck under him. “He might have saved you from Dollhouse, but don’t forget who fuck ing trained you,” he spits at me, and I close my

eyes, try ing to turn my face from his, but there’s nowhere for me to go.

Pain explodes in my head, and my eyes pop open when I’m yanked from the bed and shoved into the nearest wall. I fall to the floor, un‐ able to keep myself upright. My shaking hands go to my face, and I cry into them when I see blood.

“Same ole pathetic little dolly,” he taunts, kicking my side, and I be‐ gin to crawl away from him as fast as I can. “You can pre tend to play house, to not need me, but you’ll come back around, Eve. It’s the only life you’ve ever had. You need to be used and abused. It’s how you feel love.” He kicks me again, the blow so hard it flips me onto my back, and I cry out, cover ing my face. “See you soon, sis.”

That was my first night in this house. Evan wanted to make sure I understood that no matter what, I wouldn’t es cape him. It didn’t matter where I went, he’d find me.

I left shortly after for Las Ve gas. If he followed me there, he didn’t make it known. He knew I’d be back. That this is where I’d call home.

He doesn’t stop by often. Maybe once every six months. For the most part, he stays away. I think deep down he’s afraid of Bill. He’s got way more pull than Evan will ever have. And Bill mentioned some kind of deal. I still need to find out what that is.

Evan might slum it with evil, but Bill is on the Lords’ good side.

Evan can’t compete with that. Plus, now that Isabella is a prisoner at Carnage, he has no one on his side. Isabella let him run the show, but now it’s over.

I thought that night on theIsabella was going to change my life, but nothing could have pre pared me for how much.

“Angel, I’ve been in love with you since the mo ment I saw you that night on the yacht. And if you think I’m going to just let you walk away from me, well…I’ll prove to you that’s not an option.”

I lie awake staring at the ceiling. “The Red” by Chevelle plays louder than normal, and I tell myself that it’s the reason I’m unable to sleep, but I know it’s Kashton.

Now that I know he’s staying across the street, I find myself look‐ ing out my living room windows to see if he’s there.

Why do I care so much?

“Quit fuck ing watching me, Kash. Get a life.”

“You are my life.”

Shoving the covers off, I get up and pack a bag quickly, then I’m out the door. I walk over to his house and ring the doorbell. Bounc‐ ing on my heels, I wait for him to answer. “Kashton?” I shout, bang‐ ing my fist on the glass doors.

I feel stupid standing out here in the middle of the night. He’s prob‐ ably not home and this is just me looking like an idiot.

After another minute, I turn and walk back to my house and throw my bag into my car. There can only be one other place he’s at. I turn my cell to Do Not Dis turb to make sure Adam doesn’t call me in for a job, and within thirty minutes, I pull up to Carnage, ignor ing the way

my pulse races.

It’ll be okay, Eve.

I press the Call button, and a male voice comes from the other end.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Uh, it’s Everett Sinclair. I’m here for Kashton.” I sound like an idiot. But what else am I supposed to say?Hey, I’m here to get fucked so I can get some rest? If I’m lucky, he’ll choke me out.

The wrought-iron gates open, and I pull into the circle drive. Grab‐ bing my bag, I walk up the steps, and the door opens before I can even get to it.

“Hello, Miss Sinclair,” Jessie greets me.

“Hello.”

“I apolo gize, Miss Sinclair, but Kashton isn’t here.”

I frown and have a thought to leave, but what will that do? His but‐ ler will tell him I was here. Not like I can hide it. Plus, I need some sleep. Be ing here is better than being alone at my place. “May I wait for him to re turn?” I ask.

“Of course.” He smiles. “May I show you to his room?”

“Yes, please.”

“Follow me.” He leads me to an ele vator, and my breath ing be‐ comes er ratic and my legs shake as it as cends. “Everything okay,

miss?”

I nod, pulling on the collar of my shirt. “Fine. Thank you.”

“Here we are,” he says when we reach Kashton’s door. He puts in a code, unlocking it, and gestures for me to enter before closing it be‐ hind me.

“Thank you,” I mumble to myself, glancing around his room. Dou ble doors lead out to a bal cony. His walls are matte black with a gloss black design. His TV is on, and a four-poster bed is covered in dark- purple linens. The man doesn’t even know how to do laun dry. I can only imag ine what the housekeepers see when they come into the guys’ rooms in the mornings.

I set my bag down and crawl into his bed still dressed. I wrap my arms around his pillow and inhale his scent. I don’t feel a ghost here. No one watching. I hate how safe I feel here when it was once a nightmare.

Kashton did that—changed my life. I wish I could do the same for him.