Chaotic (L.O.R.D.S. #7) — Chapter no 83

EIGHTY-THREE

KASH TON

lick.

I let out the breath in one hard whoosh and grind my teethC when the gun doesn’t go off. “Come on,” I grind out. My right

hand now shaking, I squeeze again.

Click.

“Goddammit,” I shout, jumping to my feet.

I catch sight of myself in the mirror on the wall across from me. I’m bruised and cut all over. My eyes are swollen.

I’m to the point that I think I’m delirious. I don’t know how much I’ve slept since I found her at the cathedral. I’ve tried. Trust me. I thought I’d see her in my dreams, so I tried to put myself into an al‐ cohol haze. But she didn’t show. Not how I wanted her to, anyway.

All I saw was her life less body covered in blood.

At least I no longer cry. I’m pretty sure that’s due to the punches to the face I deserved. My fists are cut and bruised from punching the walls, and I’ve spent more time on my knees screaming for her, as if

my begging could bring her back.

It can’t.

I throw the gun at my re flection, and it shatters the mirror, just like the bottles scattered on the floor.

“Seven years of bad luck, Kash.”I hear her voice in my head, and I laugh at the thought.

I’ll be dead by noon. “Those seven years won’t matter, angel,” I say as if she’s here with me.

The urge to pick up the gun to try again is strong. But maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling me I don’t deserve death.

y g I’ve been taking the enhancements. It was to live a long life with her. What if this is my punishment instead? A long and healthy life all alone with a hole in my heart that nothing or no one can fill.

Everett’s passed out, and I lie next to her in our bed, gently stroking her damp hair while she sleeps.

I’d never admit it to her, but I’m afraid to close my eyes. To miss a second of this—her in my arms. Last time I held her, we were cov‐ ered in blood, and I begged her not to leave me.

That day I found her in the cathedral will haunt me for the rest of my life. Even in my dreams. I won’t be able to escape it.

I tried to kill myself in that mo tel room. Twice. What if I had suc‐ ceeded? Why did I play Russian Roulette? Why didn’t I just fill the re volver and shoot myself? Not leave it to chance?

A knock comes on the bed room door, and I frown, looking over my shoulder at it. I slowly re move my arm from underneath her and stand. Pulling on a pair of basket ball shorts that are on the floor, I open the door to see Haidyn standing in the hallway.

He takes a quick look inside to see her covered up and fast asleep before his eyes meet mine. Holding out a box, he says, “Adam told Sin and Ryat where you had been hiding, and they went to collect

your things.”

“Adam told them?” I ask slowly.

His jaw sharpens. “Yeah, apparently he knew the whole time.”

I figured that was the case, oth er wise how would Eve have found me? Sure, we’d spent time at the bar and the mo tel, but she wouldn’t have known that was where I’d go to mourn her and kill myself. Missy probably ratted me out. She was the bartender work‐ ing that night the bikers beat me up.

“Good shot, by the way. I would have blown the bastard’s knee out.” Haidyn grunts.

I take the open box from him and look down to see my gun, Zippo, cigarettes, and bullets rolling around freely, along with her wedding ring and cell phone. “Thanks.” All could have been re placed. When she was bleeding out, none of it mattered. I go to shut the door, but he stops it with his boot.

“What the fuck is this shit?” He reaches into his leather jacket and re moves a folded piece of paper, and I know exactly what it is.

I go to grab it out of his hands, but he yanks it back.

“A suicide note?” He arches a dark brow. “You gave me a lec ture about being suicidal, yet you wrote me and Saint a goddamn letter saying goodbye?” His eyes drop to the box still in my hand. “The sin‐ gle bullet that’s in your re volver tells me exactly what you were go‐ ing to do.” He shakes the note as if to prove his point. “So don’t bother lying to me.”

I grind my teeth. “Yet here we both are.”

He’s right that I can’t lie to him. The evidence is damning. I couldn’t re turn here with out her. We had been mar ried for such a short time, but her smell lingered, her things cluttered the bath‐ room, and her clothes were in the closet. She had taken over my life just like I had known she would. It was either burn this place down or end what pathetic life I was forced to have with out her.

“Yeah.” His eyes go to her once more before he nods to himself.

“We’re both still here.”

“Good night, Hai dyn.” I yank the letter from his hand and shut the door in his face.

Turning, I walk over to the trash can by the French doors that lead to the bal cony and rip it multiple times before dropping the pieces into it, then turn around to get into bed only to come to a stop. Eve sits up in bed, her hair wild and eyes heavy as they stare at the evi‐ dence I just tried to destroy.

She runs a hand through her hair, pushing the bleached-blond strands from her face while yawning. “What are you doing up?” She eyes the darkly lit room as if there’s an answer to her question.

“I’m com ing to bed, but you need to take your meds since you’re awake.” Devin dropped them off right after she fell asleep. I didn’t

have the heart to wake her.

“I don’t want them.”

“You’re taking them, or you go back to the hos pital.” I go over to my nightstand and grab the pills and a bottle of water. “Take both.” I hand them to her, and she tosses the two pills into her mouth and

then takes the water. “Good girl,” I tell her, and she rolls her eyes, handing me back the bottle of water.

I crawl into bed beside her, and she rolls onto her side to face me.

She tries to hide her unease, but I see her flinch at the new position.

“You should lie on your back.”

“I’m a side sleeper.” She yawns again. “Doesn’t matter anyway, the pills are going to knock me out.”

She’s not wrong, but that doesn’t mean how she sleeps won’t affect her when she wakes up. I’ll just move her once she’s out.

“Get some rest, angel.” I kiss her fore head and tuck a few wild pieces of hair be hind her ear.

Her soft snoring fills the room, and I smile for the first time in three weeks. I could have lost this forever if my gun had gone off. I don’t believe in God, but some thing saved me that day, and I will forever be grateful for a second chance at the life I always wanted.

I open my eyes to see I’m alone in our bed. “Eve?” I yell, jump ing

up.

“In the bath room,” she calls out.

I rush into it to find her washing her hands. “What are you doing?”

“I had to pee.” She gives me a bright smile, looking at me in the mirror. Her eyes look more awake, her color more vi brant.

Taking a deep breath, I feel like I can finally breathe. That maybe, just maybe this is over. That she’s on the upswing of re covery. As I walk over to her, she turns the water off and faces me, drying her hands. I take her face in mine and kiss her fore head just as some‐ one knocks on my door.

I sigh. “We’ll never get a moment of peace as long as we live here.”

“They were worried about you.” I pull away to look down at her. “I over heard a phone call between Adam and Saint.” I let her tell me what I al ready know because she has no clue that I had this conver‐ sa tion last night in the waiting room. “Saint was trying to find you.”

Her eyes search mine, and I give her another kiss before I pull away and go answer the door.

Once again, Haidyn stands in the hallway, this time with Muffin in his hand. She meows and jumps down. She hops onto the bed as Everett sits down, and her purring fills the room when Eve begins to

scratch her fluffy head.

“Need something?” I ask Hai dyn.

“Sin and Ryat are here.”

“And? What the fuck does that have to do with me?”

“Kash,” Eve sighs from behind me.

I plaster a smile on my face, and Haidyn frowns, confused. “Why are they here?” I ask tightly, trying to sound nicer.

“Saint wants us down in the basement.”

“I’ll get ready.”

I turn around to tell Eve not to bother, but she’s al ready shutting the bath room door. My eyes drop to Muffin lying on the bed. She’s on her back, legs spread and eyes closed. Walking over to pick her up, I hand the furry pussy back to Haidyn. “We’ll meet you down there.” Then I shut the door in his face.

EVERETT We exit the ele vator hand in hand, and a shiver runs through my

body. It’s always so cold down here.

“You okay?” Kashton asks me.

“I’m good.” I should have taken another pain pill this morn ing, but I refuse to feel foggy anymore. Thankfully he didn’t fight me on that, but I know he’ll re strict me in other ways to make sure I don’t do too much.

He pulls back the plastic curtains and allows me to go through first as he follows. Coming into the pits area, I see everyone in atten‐ dance. Even Ashtyn and Charlotte, which surprises me.

Ashtyn steps forward, glaring at Kashton. I go to step in front of my husband, but he pulls me back. She opens her mouth to speak when Saint’s voice breaks through the awkward silence. “Go upstairs, Ash.”

She spins around to face him. “I will not.”

“It wasn’t a suggestion.” He narrows his eyes on her.

“Saint—”

“Now,” he barks.

I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling. I’ve never seen him give her anything less than what she wants. I mean, I haven’t been around them much, but from what I’ve seen from the sidelines, ev‐ eryone seems to cater to her.

Huffing, she spins around and storms out of the basement, making sure to run her shoulder into mine. Like al ways, she’s going to throw a fuck ing tantrum for not getting her way.

“Why are we down here?” Kashton asks, pulling me to stand in front of him. He wraps his arms around my upper arms and rests his chin on top of my head. “My wife needs to be in bed resting.”

Fuck, I missed this so much. I knew I loved him, but I never knew it could be like this. How attached I could get to another human be‐ ing.

Adam adjusts his stance, crossing his arms over his chest. “You want answers. I’m going to give them to you.”

Kashton snorts. “Your ver sion or the truth?”

Adam sighs but doesn’t re spond. In stead, he looks at me, and I stiffen in my husband’s arms. My pulse begins to race wondering what he’s about to say. “You did bury Eve. Just a different ver sion of her.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Kashton pulls away from me, and I feel cold all of a sudden. I wore one of Kashton’s hoodies, knowing it’s freezing down here. He moves to stand by my side instead.

Adam’s eyes re main on mine when he speaks again. “She’s a twin.”

“No.” I shake my head, and I feel everyone turn to look at me. “I’m not.” My eyes go to Kashton, who is frowning. “That’s not true.” I look back at Adam. “You’re lying.”

“Yes. You are,” Adam argues. “You had an identical twin, and I killed her. To save you.”

I refuse to believe it. He’s lying to save his own ass for what he did.

“I would have known that.”

Haidyn turns to face me. “Do you re member seeing Charlotte at the cathedral?”

I frown. “What? When Bill had you meet him there? No. She wasn’t with you.” Why would he ask me that?

He tilts his head in thought. “No. When you were younger. Char‐ lotte saw you at the cathedral. It was an offer ing. You were there with LeAnne.”

“No. I wasn’t.” I glance at Kashton, confused. What are they talking about? “I wasn’t allowed to leave Carnage when I was younger.” I was kept at Carnage until I was given to Dollhouse at nineteen.

Then I spent a year in that hellhole.

“Let’s say you’re right…” Ryat speaks to Adam. “If Garrett had an‐ other daughter, why would she be with LeAnne?”

Kashton runs a hand through his hair. He looks unsure about whether to believe Adam or not.

“I’m right. It’s how the cops had your DNA on the dead girl,” Adam goes on. “Your identical twin played a part in killing that woman and dump ing her in the cemetery that she knew you visited. And the woman who was found but had survived. She was tortured by you… the other you. They wanted her to go to the cops and describe Eve.

It was just another base they were cover ing to make sure you went down for the murders.”

“But Haidyn killed her,” Saint adds. “It put a kink in their plan.”

“What?” I gasp, looking at my brother. “You killed her?” When he doesn’t say anything, I look at my husband, but he’s also ignor ing me.

“How long have you known about this?” Haidyn snaps at Adam.

He sighs. “Not long. I started to get suspicious one night after I met up with Kash ton. He had just left Blackout and told me that he had seen and spoken to Eve while there. But he couldn’t have. I had just gotten off a call with her, and she was on the opposite side of town about to do a job.”

“What?” I turn to look at Kashton. “You spoke to her?”

“I…” He shrugs. “Uh…I don’t know.” Kashton stumbles over his words. “But I…the three guys from the cathedral were the same three guys I beat up that night at Blackout after I spoke to Eve…uh, your sis ter. So if she set up the meeting at the cathedral, then it makes sense that she had those guys helping her.”

I run a hand through my hair nervously and take a step back from him.

“Think about it…Isabella is here. She ran Dollhouse. Their leader was taken away by Everett. If Evan hadn’t confirmed to Eve that Haidyn was at Dollhouse, then we wouldn’t have gone and pulled our brother out and brought Isabella here. They knew they had one se cret weapon left.” Adam’s green eyes find mine, and I swallow nervously. “You. So they set you up. Tried to get rid of you so she could move in on Kashton, pre tending to be his wife, gain access to the inside of Carnage, and then set Isabella free. But when the woman was killed, causing their original plan to fail, they had to change it up. Decided to kill you instead.”

“No,” Kashton barks. “Christopher said that Eve was set up because Evan wanted her…”

“It’s possi ble,” Adam agrees. “If you were with her twin—Vivian— then he had Eve, and you didn’t know the difference.”

“I would have known the fuck ing difference,” my husband snaps.

“But—”

“Christ,” Saint hisses.

“And then when Eve came to me, denying we’d slept together, I knew something else was going on, and I had to figure it out,” Adam says.

“So we didn’t have sex?” I ask, hopeful.

He shakes his head. “No. It was your sis ter. The picture didn’t make sense. How Isabella got it in the first place to give to Haidyn for blackmail. I didn’t have any cameras set up in my hotel room. Your sis ter had to set it up when I was making us a drink or undressing… I’m not sure. The point is, she put that phone there to record and sent it to Isabella, who then took a picture from it to use against Haidyn. Your sis ter was following you, and it led her to me. I’m not sure if that was their plan, but it ended up working in Isabella’s fa‐ vor.”

“Wait.” Haidyn holds up his hand. “What picture?”

Adam faces Haidyn. “When I was in Las Ve gas following Ashtyn, Is‐ abella showed you a picture —”

“The girl tied to your bed?” He tilts his head to the side.

“Yes.”

Haidyn looks at me. “That…that was you?”

“No,” Kashton snaps. “Well, her twin.”

My brother rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t know.”

“How…” I swallow. “How did she know so much about me, but I didn’t know she ex isted?”

“Your father separated you at a very young age.”

I turn to see some one new join our conver sa tion. Bill emerges from the hallway, dragging a woman with him. He pushes her to her knees in the middle of the room, and I take a step back, not wanting to be anywhere near her. “Vivian knew so much about you because she was raised by LeAnne.” He yanks on the woman’s hair, pulling her head back, and she bares her teeth. “Tell them, Isabella. Tell them everythingyou know.”

She begins to laugh, and I see Charlotte move to stand in the far corner of the room. Haidyn follows to stand in front of his pregnant wife.

Isabella has her hands cuffed behind her back, but that doesn’t mean she won’t try to use her body to take one of us down. The woman is as evil as they come.

“Pathetic.” Bill shoves her to the concrete, face down, and kicks her onto her back. “LeAnne took you two in and raised you until you were two.”

I wrap my arms around myself, so confused. My first memo ries are of this hell. I was around five. Anything before that doesn’t exist.

Bill pushes his boot into her chest, and her shrill scream fills the room, making me flinch. She kicks and bucks, but he just presses more weight onto her naked body to hold her down. “Garrett didn’t want one girl, let alone two. He wanted boys. When he got girls, he was going to sell you both. But LeAnne convinced him that one of them would be good to use.” His eyes meet mine, and I swallow ner‐ vously. “She kept one, and he could have the other. A woman who’d come from a founder and a Spade brother…he could charge as much as he wanted.”

I wonder what he means by that, because that’s exactly what Ashtyn is, and I don’t see anyone trying to sell her. But she’s the last person I want to talk about, so I keep my mouth shut.

“Why not sell them both?” Haidyn asks.

“He did,” Bill answers. “But he didn’t sell Eve until she was older.”

I bow my head, not wanting all of my husband’s friends to know my past. I’m not sure how much he’s shared with them about me,

and I hones tly would rather not know.

“Garrett sold her to Isabella.”

I look up through my lashes at Charlotte, and she frowns, meeting my stare. “My motherbought you?” She steps forward, but Haidyn stops her with a hand on her shoulder.

“She was an investment,” Bill states, and my breathing picks up.

“Evan knew of Eve and wanted her at Dollhouse. When Haidyn didn’t kill her, Garrett figured his best bet was to sell her.”

Kashton reaches out to take my hand, but I pull it away and cross my arms over my chest.

“I never knew,” Charlotte whispers, still looking at me, tears pooling in her blue eyes.

I want to tell her that it’s okay, that I know it wasn’t her fault, but it’s pointless. My words won’t change how she feels.

“What about the other woman? Where does she fit in?” Ryat asks.

“What other woman?” Bill counters.

“Let’s just ask her. We put her in a cell.” Sin walks off down the hallway, and we all wait silently for him to re turn.

He’s got a woman by the back of her neck. She’s naked, tripping over her own feet, and her hands are zip tied behind her back. Her head is down, and her dark hair covers her face.

She’s softly crying. He brings her into the room, kicks the back of her legs, forc ing her to her knees, and yanks her head back by her hair. Her cries echo throughout the basement.

“Christ.” Adam rushes over to her. “Let go of her,” he orders Sin.

He raises his hands and takes a step back, looking at Kashton, who runs a hand down his face, knowing who she is. “Fuck,” my husband mutters.

“Someone give me a fuck ing knife,” Adam barks.

Sin hands his over since he’s still the closest. “Hey.” Adam takes her tear-streaked face in his hands. “You’re okay. It’s okay.”

I take off and ignore Kashton hollering at me. I rush up to the sec‐ ond floor, grab a bottle of water, and manage to find a blanket, then

run back into the basement. “Here.” I hand them to Adam.

“You know her?” Saint asks, looking over her.

“Yes. I fucking know her. She works for me.” He grabs Missy’s hands and pulls her to stand. She covers herself with her arms.

“Thanks,” he growls at me, yanking the blanket from my hands to wrap it around her shoulders before pulling it closed.

I step back with my hand pressed into my chest. I shouldn’t have run up the stairs. Now there’s a burning sensa tion and I can’t catch my breath.

Kashton steps into me, but I sidestep him, not wanting to be touched right now. He can yell at me later.

“We just did what we were told to do,” Sin says, hands still raised.

“Which was?” Adam demands, walk ing Missy over to a chair and placing her in it. He unscrews the bottle of water and prac tically wa‐ terboards the poor girl, holding it to her trembling lips.

“You gave me and Ryat the address to the mo tel Kashton was stay‐ ing at. She was there.”

Adam crouches down in front of her in the chair and places his hands on her dirty, tear-streaked face, holding her hair back in the

process. “Why were you in the mo tel?”

She sniffs. “To get his phone.”

“Whose phone?” Adam demands.

“This one?” Ryat pulls one from his pocket. “She had it on her when we entered the room.”

Missy rubs the tears from her face, taking a deep breath. “I thought it was odd that Everett was at the bar that night. I wasn’t aware she had a job. When she left, I texted you that she was there. I watched her enter the mo tel room. A guy ar rived not much later. I called you when she left the mo tel to make sure it was cleaned up, and you confirmed that she didn’t have a job, but that you would get the room cleaned. I didn’t hear from you until a few days later. You said the room had been cleaned, the body disposed of, but the guy didn’t have his phone on him…”

“I didn’t take it,” I tell her. I al ways leave the phones behind. You never know who might be tracking them. Adam has their bodies dis‐

posed of and their cells destroyed after they get what they need off them.

“He didn’t have a phone on him.” Adam shakes his head at her. “We checked. How and where did you find it?”

“Kashton took over the room shortly after. I had to wait for him to leave to get back into it. I had just found it under the bed when two guys showed up,” she whispers, staring at the floor, unable to make eye contact with anyone in the room.

I feel sorry for her. She doesn’t know this life. Not like we do. Sure, she works for Adam, but she runs the bar. She’s not that deep in the trafficking world. She serves people al cohol and lis tens to them bitch about their pathetic lives.

Adam stands, snatches the phone from Ryat’s hand, and starts to go through it. His eyes meet mine, and I swallow.

“What is it?” Kashton demands.

Adam walks over and hands it to him.

Kashton reads over it and then runs a hand down his unshaven face. “This is why you went to the cathedral?” He looks at me with narrowed eyes.

“Yes.” I lift my chin. I stand by what I did.

“It was a trap,” he barks. “How did you not know that?”

“I knew what I was going to find,” I snap defensively. “I’m not stupid.”

He snorts and I step into him, but Adam grabs my upper arm, pulling me back.

“Don’t touch my fuck ing wife,” Kashton shouts, bowing up to him.

“Kash.” I place my hands on his chest, pushing him back. “Take a breath. Okay?” My eyes search his and he turns, giving me his back, running his hand through his hair.

There’s a lot to take in. So much is going on, but Adam isn’t going to hurt me. Not here. There are too many Lords to pro tect me. And hones tly, I’m not scared of Adam. In a one-on-one, I think I could take him. He has a dick, and I don’t care what that means to a Lord; it’s their weak ness. One hit and he’ll be on his knees.