Chapter 62
verything feels wrong. Too soft. Too warm. If this is what death is like, it’s certainly not what I expected.E My body feels relaxed and weirdly floaty, yet the water is gone.
And I can breathe. That’s nice. I take a few breaths, enjoying the way my chest lifts and falls. But still, it’s like my body isn’t quite right. And my hands? There’s something wrong with my hands. My knuckles feel as though they’ve been clamped. Not broken but squeezed so tightly that they might splinter. As I try to move them, the feeling intensifies. ‘Rose? Rose!’ I blink my eyes open. Kyor is there, staring at me, his blue eyes bloodshot. ‘Thank the Gods,’ he breathes as he drops his head down to my
chest. ‘Kyor?’ My voice croaks.
His head jerks back up. ‘I’m here. I’m here, my love. What do you
need?’ ‘I think you’re crushing my hand.’ A light laugh escapes him as he instantly releases me and uses his now- free hand to wipe his cheek. Then he lowers his forehead so it rests against mine. ‘We had to give you some paparvy seed,’ he murmurs. ‘You were in so much pain from the cold.’ The cold? Was it cold in the water? Yes, it was, but just for a while. I remember that now . ‘Paparvy? Oh, that’s why I feel floaty.’ He smiles. ‘You’ll feel fine in half an hour or so. It’ll wear off soon.’
What’s the last thing I remember? I remember mentioning Llin. Telling Benny one of us had to make it. My chest tightens and panic cuts through the seed-induced fog. ‘The others. Did they make it? Benny and Jonas?’ Kyor nods. ‘Everyone who got into a boat made it across. Thanks to you. You made it, Rose. You’re in the Ofur. One of the final eight.’ The final eight. Those words fall on me with a weight I would never have expected. I should be happy that so many of my friends made it this far, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are those who didn’t. Turns out this wasn’t like the Retterheld where everyone made it to the Ofur. Like so many others, ours was messy and bloody and full of loss.
Still, he looks so damn proud of me that my heart melts a little. Wait, is it really melting? I rub my chest and he stills my hand, looking concerned. ‘Are you okay, Rose?’ ‘I think my heart is melting,’ I explain.
His answering smile is like a sunrise, and I’m quite happy to bask in it.
He offers me water and watches me like a hawk as I sip it, visibly relaxing as the fog starts to leave me.
Suddenly, a frivolous thought strikes me. ‘The ball. Did I miss it?’ A smirk rises on his lips, one that’s tinted with just the slightest hint of bashfulness. ‘Actually, you’ve got about two hours until it starts. I may have insisted, in a not at all diva-ish and entirely princely manner, that no ball would be happening until I was present. And I would not be leaving your side until you were awake. They weren’t up for postponing it indefinitely, but in true Thorn style, it looks like you woke just in time.’ I roll my eyes, but it’s hard to deny the warmth that floods through me as I realise he’s dressed in his formal garments, jacket and all. Definitely ready for a ball. ‘No, it doesn’t sound like you were diva-ish at all,’ I say. ‘Next you’ll tell me you only requested a parade and a small throne.’ ‘Only a little one.’ He winks. ‘The Eastern Isles already hate me and my father.’ The remark takes me by surprise – I didn’t realise the dislike of Korvane had spread this far – but before I can comment Kyor continues. ‘And I didn’t think you’d want to miss the ball. Llinos’s family will be in attendance.’ The warmth I felt only a moment ago is replaced by a hard lump in my throat .
‘They will?’ Kyor nods, his smirk gone. ‘Benny has spoken to them,’ he explains. ‘Told them about you and your friendship with Llinos.’ The lump catches in my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe. ‘Do they know?’ I choke out. ‘Do they know how it happened? Why it happened?’ ‘They know she was poisoned and that it wasn’t a Retterheld death, and they know that she received the proper rites on the funeral pyre.’ ‘So they know.’ I swallow back the tears that are threatening to spill. ‘Do they blame me?’ His brow creases deeply. ‘Of course they don’t blame you. It wasn’t your fault. It was Holden’s. No one blames you, Rose.’ He leans over and kisses my lips. It’s like the drink I’ve been waiting for. The thirst that only he can quench. Yet all too soon, it ends. ‘I should go and let you get ready. Besides, I probably need to show my face and do a bit of grovelling to bolster relationships after my dramatics.’ He pauses, hesitating. ‘Your remaining buddy from the Isles owes you an
explanation as well.’ ‘Benny? What did he do?’ ‘I’ll let him explain that. Just take it easy, okay? I’ll see you at the ball tonight. There’s a guard stationed at your door. You need anything, you send for me. ’ He leans in and kisses me again before breaking away and looking me straight in the eyes. The way his gaze locks on me, I have a sudden jarring recollection of blue eyes in black water.
I sit up abruptly. ‘You! You’re the reason I’m here. Dammit, Kyor, you were supposed to leave if the coast was clear!’ His gaze is licked with fire. ‘Nothing on this earth was tearing me from you. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same for me.’ His words stop me. Because I would. Of course I would. Silence fills the room as we stare at each other, a wealth of words passing unsaid between us. I know it’s only a question of time before they burst out, no
matter how unwise they might be. ‘Thank you for saving me. Again.’ ‘You saved us first.’ He brushes a strand of hair away from my face and tucks it tenderly behind my ear. ‘I’ve got to go, but just in case you want a
bath, it’s through there.’ He gestures to the other side of the room. ‘And it’s big enough for two. In case you fancy that later?’ ‘Later?’ My eyes widen as I sit up, suddenly wide awake. ‘Any reason we need to wait?’ His laugh resonates through me. ‘I’m more than game, but given that the last thing you bathed in was seawater and that was three days ago, I thought maybe you’d want to freshen up first?’ Horror rushes through me. It’s not that Kyor’s never seen me in a sweaty state before given we’ve trained together plenty of times over the last couple of weeks, but this is different. I must reek. As I lift my hand to my hair, the feel of grease slides off my fingertips. Fingertips that are black under the nails. I’m absolutely filthy. And he’s been sitting with me like this for days. ‘You go do your princely things …’ I tell him, pushing his chest and offering only a closed-mouth peck on his lips. I can only imagine how bad my breath is. ‘You still look beautiful,’ he says as he backs away. ‘Truthfully, I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful.’ ‘You’re delusional,’ I say with affection. ‘Now go. It’s going to take the full two hours to get myself presentable.’ With a chuckle, he leaves.
With Kyor gone, I sit up and look around me. The Eastern Isles. It’s still a surprise to learn that he and his father have particular issues with this area of the kingdom. Benny and the others never mentioned anything. Sure, they dropped a few anti-Kyor comments in the beginning, but I assumed that was just in solidarity for all I’ve been through.
It is hard to believe I’m really here though. On Llinos’s home soil. The place I was meant to come and live with her. Colourful tapestries hang on the walls, and my view out over the water is one of perfect crystal blue. ‘I wish you were here with me, Llin,’ I whisper as I sling my legs over the edge of the bed, only to catch my reflection in a mirror. Despite being bedridden for a couple of days, I still look strong. It’s actually hard to believe it’s my body I’m looking at. My ribs are no longer visible, but there’s no fat on me. Just thick, corded muscle. I look like I always wanted
to when I was younger.
Like a warrior.
Just as Kyor said, the bath is plenty big enough for two, and the water is steaming. When it’s half full, I slide my body under the surface, closing my eyes as I breathe in the scent of the bath oils. Maybe I should feel nervous about being in water so soon after nearly drowning, but I don’t. I feel at peace. Then again, maybe that’s just the paparvy, though I don’t feel floaty and weird any longer.
Only when my eyes start to cycle back into sleep do I pull myself out of the bath and wrap myself in the thickest, fluffiest robe I’ve ever seen, which I found hanging on the back of the door. I may have been living in the High Hold for the past two months, but I sure as hell haven’t been living a court life – this brief moment is enough to remind me of that. Now there’s a real chance I will.
The final eight. The odds have never been better, but I’m well aware that this is no time to relax. There are still seven other competitors, each as desperate for the gifting as I am, and three of them I consider good friends, if not more. No, it’s not going to be easy.
As I tie the belt of the robe around my waist, there’s a knock on the door. The deep voice of what I assume is a guard follows. ‘Miss Kultavaris, you have a visitor.’ ‘Send them in,’ I call back, checking that the robe’s knot is secure and I’m presentable. I assume it will be Benny or Jonas, but it’s not. It’s Zara. I feel my mouth gawping, not just because she’s here, but also because of how normal she looks. No weapons. No snarl. And her hair has grown so much since we began this thing that it now covers a large amount of the scar my fire bead caused all those months ago. It takes me a minute to get
over my shock. ‘Are you lost?’ It’s not the warmest welcome, but it could still stand to be a darn sight colder than it is. I remember what Kyor said about the guard being there for anything I need and wonder if perhaps I should call him to take her away, but I half suspect that Zara wants me to show that I’m still afraid of her. I’m not.
A slight smile quirks at the corners of her lips. A smile because she wants to attack me? It would be a great time to do it. By opening up the wounds the water caused in my lungs, she could drown me right here on dry land.
As the thought arises, I’m shocked to feel a tingle of magic spread through my palms. Is this what my power does? Raises its head when I feel threatened? From what’s happened so far that makes sense, although it still doesn’t answer the question of where the hell it came from. All magic flows to Mortidem upon death, so how in the Gods’ names did that spectre on the ice pass some to me? ‘I’m not lost.’ Zara takes a seat on the edge of the bed. ‘I just saw Kyor.
Judging by the inane smile on his face, I assumed you were awake so thought I’d come and apologise.’ I raise my eyebrows so high I’m sure they hit my hairline. ‘You’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that.’ She exhales sharply. ‘I’m sorry I attacked you when you first arrived.
And again after Shim died. I was wrong to lash out.’ The way her jaw clenches, it’s as though it’s physically painful for her to get the words out. Not that I’m complaining at all. ‘And in the battle yard?’ I question. ‘You remember? You were all literally trying to kill me.’ ‘That was Hold—’ she snarls, only to cut herself off. ‘That too.’ I try to read her face, see if there’s any sign of trickery, but whatever my new powers are, they don’t stretch to lie-detecting.
Silence fills the room.
She really does look genuine, and having one more ally in this thing would definitely be more useful than keeping her as an enemy, but I’m not going to respond with something as trite as ‘apology accepted.’ A two- minute conversation doesn’t negate everything she’s tried to do to me up until now. ‘I appreciate you taking the time to say that,’ I reply in what I believe is a fair answer.
She nods, only to remain where she is, looking at me as though she expects me to say more. When she realises that isn’t going to happen, she stands up and walks to the door, only to hesitate. ‘Maybe as a gesture of goodwill I could paint your sigils for tonight.’ I frown. ‘Tonight?’ My stomach lurches. They can’t be doing the Ofur tonight, can they? Or maybe they can. It’s been three days and the others are probably all well- rested. But how would they already know it’s happening? There have been no chimes, have there?
‘It’s tradition on the Isles,’ Zara interrupts my mental spiral. ‘People wear their sigils for balls and formal occasions. I’m sure they’ve got some paint in one of these drawers.’ She moves over to the dresser and sure enough, she pulls out a palette. ‘See? I mean, you can check with Kyor when he gets back, but that’s how it’s always been every time I’ve attended a ball here. I don’t see why it’d be any different now.’ Can I really do that? Let her paint my sigils? Pretend I actually like her?
There are only three people I’ve ever let paint them before: my parents and Kyor. She’s not a name I want to add to the list . ‘Thank you for telling me and for the offer, but I like to do it myself. As a sign of respect, you know?’ She nods. ‘I understand. I should let you get ready.’ For a second time, she turns to leave, but once again she hesitates, this time to reach to her belt and withdraw a dagger. She’s not seriously going to try that now, is she?
Would she kill me for not letting her paint my sigils?
The tingle in my palm grows stronger and a pulse begins in my chest, the energy rolling through my veins. The tingling turns into a deep throb as she turns the blade around, hilt towards me. Offering it to me. What the fuck? ‘It’s tradition,’ she says. ‘Where my family comes from, we offer blades to those we respect. I thought perhaps you could wear it tonight. Since I can’t paint your sigils.’ I remain fixed to the spot, not reaching for the gift. There has to be some kind of ulterior motive, a trap waiting for me, but I can’t see what it is. ‘I don’t mean to sound like a bitch,’ Zara breaks the silence, ‘but if you don’t take it, it’s fucking rude. Like, big-time smite rude. But I get it if that’s your plan. It’s not like I wouldn’t deserve it.’ Could it be poisoned? I doubt it, given how she picked it up herself. The poison would be on her too, and she’s been holding it for far longer than I intend to.
The tingling is still in my palm as I take the hilt of the dagger. I’m not sure if I’m controlling it or if it’s controlling me, but either way, I know that power is at my fingertips if I need it, and it’s the first time I’ve felt a tiny modicum of control in fourteen years. ‘Thank you. I guess I’ll see you at the ball then.’
‘Right. It’s the big room on the ground floor. You can’t miss it. I’d better go get dressed and do my own sigils. I’ll leave you to it.’ It’s difficult to decide what the most unbelievable part of the last few days has been. The fact that I’m in a relationship with the man who ruined my family, that I can, on some level, communicate with giant, ancient krakens, or that Zara was nice to me. Actually, screw that. The last one is definitely the weirdest.
With Zara finally gone, I head over to the wardrobe. Given that there was paint for the sigils inside, I expect there to be clothes as well, and I’m not disappointed. The array of fabrics and styles are even greater than those Dinah gave me, and unlike my selection back on the mainland, everything here is the height of fashion. As I run my fingers across the material, I can’t help but think of Llinos. She would have loved this. There’s one dress in particular, in a deep green, that I can imagine would have complemented her skin tone perfectly. A knot fixes itself in my stomach.
Can I really go and face her family? Look them in the eye knowing I’m
the one who should be dead, not her?
I don’t have a choice. Not really.
With a deep breath in, I reach my hand up and pull out a dress at random. Turns out there are some things even scarier than krakens, and the sooner I get this done, the better.
