Chapter 40
aroline and Llin’s reunion is understandably tear-filled, and as such it’s several hours before Caroline eventually heads back to work.C With her gone, Llin and I finalise my dress for tomorrow’s ball. Llin has been working on it for days, but I haven’t seen it. When she pulls out the finished article, I can’t help but gape.
It is phenomenal. Part dress, part work of art.
As planned, Llinos removed the centre section from the layers and layers of flowing black tulle of the skirt so that my leather fighting shorts, thigh sheath, and an edge of dagger are visible beneath. My ‘signature style,’ she calls it. And the top is even more unique. The satin plunging V- neck is pure elegance, while the black sleeves are wired open, looking almost like wings fluttering behind me. There’s no chance of me not standing out, that’s for sure.
At breakfast the next morning, Leilah finds me and tells me she’s spoken with Ruben and plans to share the scraps of food with the slums. I can’t thank her enough and the timing couldn’t be better as we’ll be able to make use of the undoubtedly vast amount of waste from the ball tonight.
With surviving the second trial, helping the slums, and getting to see Kay twice, this week’s going to be tough to top.
That evening, Llinos continues to fuss over me, even once I’ve got the dress on. ‘See,’ she says in satisfaction. ‘It’s like a bat. ’ As I stare at my reflection, that’s not what I see. I see something with far more gravitas. And the way the tulle is layered reminds me of … feathers, I realise.
‘It looks more like a bird than a bat,’ Caroline comments from the bunk
she’s lying on. ‘It does,’ I agree. ‘A raven.’ A collective shudder rolls through the room, and my eyes lift towards the window as though expecting to see a raven waiting there. It’s with an odd sense of disappointment that I find the sill empty. I should be relieved, shouldn’t I? Ravens are an omen of bad luck after all.
The battle yard was close to empty this morning, and Kyor missed my training session with Zelle, making knots form in my stomach. There’s a good chance that he still blames me for the poisoning, and I probably should have explained the situation a little better, but what else was there to add? He wasn’t my target, and I stopped him from dying in the woods. It’s pretty straightforward.
As always, I returned to the dining hall for breakfast after my session with Zelle, and the vast room offered my table a stark opportunity to see just how many were lost in the second trial. Less than we expected, we agreed. Along with Elenor and Loch, Stefan the knight, Del from Galreck, and one of the Rowell Rettlings were the only ones who didn’t make it.
With Jonas and Kyor included, the Wrohelm Rettlings are down to half their original number.
It’s with a definite pang of relief that I see both Seiren and Kestria survived, while on the table next to them Clade, Nessira and Yeva are huddled together. ‘Maybe they thought we deserved something more gentle after the jötnar,’ Jonas suggested. ‘Maybe,’ Llin replied, though the tightening of her face suggested that she didn’t consider the piece missing out of her arm ‘gentle.’ Benny wasn’t there at breakfast or lunch, and neither is he here as we prepare to head over to the ball. ‘Still nothing about Loch’s body?’ I ask Llinos quietly as she slips on her own dress. This one is a vivid blue ballgown dotted with white flowers, which I once again assume is of her sister Carys’s choosing. ‘Not that Benny’s told me.’ She grimaces and mutters, ‘But then, I get the feeling there’s a lot he’s not telling me at the moment.’ ‘Everything okay with you two?’ I ask tentatively. It’s the first time she’s brought up the tension between her and Benny, and I don’t want to let it go.
Her nostrils flatten as she draws a long breath in, only to release it with a sigh. She offers a watery smile. ‘Too much time together,’ she says simply. ‘Nothing more.’ Across the room, Caroline’s expression begs to differ.
There’s no denying it stings, knowing Llinos is lying to me, but we all came into this with our secrets, and no matter how our friendship has grown, I understand that there are some secrets we each have to keep.
After closing the zipper at the back of Llin’s dress, Caz moves over to the bed and grabs her bag. ‘I should get going,’ she says. ‘As Rohan’s family is at the ball, we can work at his house tonight. Have fun, and I’ll be here when you get back.’ ‘I hate that you can’t come,’ Llin replies. ‘I know, but when you win this thing, you can demand it.’ Llin’s face spreads into a grin. ‘That sounds like a plan.’ Snow drifts down as Llin and I walk to the centre of the High Hold, and by the time we’re back indoors, goosebumps have risen on my arms and my fingers are completely numb.
A familiar face is waiting for us. He’s dressed in full formal attire, and once again has his blond hair tied back and long beard tamed and braided. ‘Wow.’ Jonas steps forward and takes my arm. ‘You look … wow …’ A slight tinge colours my cheeks as I remember Llinos’s drug-induced comment about how he’d feel about my dress, but judging from the way he’s looking at me, she wasn’t wrong. ‘Llin’s the seamstress so deserves the credit,’ I deflect uncomfortably. ‘She’s phenomenal.’ ‘Right …’ Jonas replies, as if he can’t manage more than one syllable.
Silence threatens to sweep in around us, but before it can, I’m slammed
into from the side. ‘What took you so long?’ The instant I get my breath back, it’s stolen again. Kay. Looking more beautiful and full of life than I ever thought possible. My lungs tremble with joy and tears fall as I pull her as close to me as possible, and when I finally move back, it’s only so I can see her more clearly.
We’re still by the door, the cold wind whipping in from outside, and yet I barely feel it. Instead, I’m completely consumed with taking in every part of her the way I should have done in the forest. Her hair in my hands, her face cupped in my palms …
It’s only been six weeks or so, but she’s changed. Filled out. She looks healthy. The healthiest I’ve ever seen her. ‘Thank the Gods,’ I breathe, going in for another hug. ‘It’s okay. You can let go of me now.’ She grins. ‘Just till we get somewhere warmer. I’m freezing! Artur keeps his home so warm that the slightest chill gets to me now. It’s mad how quickly you can get used to luxury.’ Her eyes are a little haunted by her own comment. She may be getting used to luxury, but she hasn’t forgotten the slums. I doubt either of us ever will. ‘Artur’s taking good care of you?’ I ask, still not ready to let go of her yet. ‘He is. Don’t look so worried. It’s been incredible, really. But I want to know about you. Tell me about the jötnar.’ ‘It was a team effort, really.’ The comment reminds me to turn to my side. ‘Llinos, this is my sister, Kay. Kay, Llinos. Jonas, you’ve met, right?’ ‘We have.’ She smiles at Jonas. ‘I’m so grateful for all the kindness your family has shown me.’ ‘It’s been our honour. I’m afraid I can’t stay and chat though. I need to go and talk to my father.’ He shifts his gaze to me. ‘But perhaps we can
share a dance later, Rose?’ ‘Of course.’ I smile.
He leans in, and for a second, I panic. He’s not going to kiss me here in front of Kay, is he? I turn my head to the side, planning to peck him on the cheek, only for him to do the same, and our lips land against one another in a clumsy kiss. ‘See you later,’ he says with a surprised grin.
Meanwhile, I fight a grimace. ‘Oh, good Gods!’ Kay hisses, pulling me towards her the second he’s out of earshot. ‘Are you and Jonas a thing? Will was telling me how Jonas
told him that—’ ‘No, we are not a thing.’ ‘They totally are,’ Llinos replies, leaning towards us with an impish grin.
Kay’s smile is so broad I can practically feel the joy radiating from her. ‘I need you to fill me in on everything. Although can we please get away from the door? As I said, it’s freezing. And I want to dance.’
I follow her into the ballroom, barely even looking at the show-stopping chandelier, the black and red roses that decorate the place, or the platters of food and drink. All my attention is on Kay and the way she moves so effortlessly through the room, as if she was born to be here. The irony is not lost on me. ‘William has had to undertake some errands for Artur today, but you’ve already met him, right?’ Kay asks. ‘In some ways, I’m actually glad he’s not here. He’s been trying to teach me to dance, but honestly, he’s terrible.
You’d think he was the one who had never attended these things before, rather than me.’ She stops to look at me. ‘Don’t tell him I said that though, will you?’ ‘No, of course not.’ I can’t stop the grin that’s raising my cheeks. This loquacious version of my sister, so confident, so at home … it’s a wonder to see. It’s what I’ve dreamed of.
A waiter walks past and Llinos offers the drinks a longing look. ‘Next time,’ I tell her firmly. ‘You can drink next time.’ ‘Just a little one?’ she asks wistfully, reaching out.
I swat her away. ‘No!’ She rubs her hand. ‘Your sister is a real ball-buster,’ she complains to Kay. ‘Yeah.’ Kay grins. ‘But you should take it as a compliment. She only does that because she loves you.’ ‘I think she’s okay too,’ Llin admits, shooting me a smirk, but it quickly drops as her gaze flicks to someone behind me. She offers a courteous nod to whoever approaches us, and from the wariness in her eyes, I assume it’s either someone she doesn’t know or someone she wishes she didn’t. As she melts into the crowd, a glance over my shoulder reveals a man of similar age to me striding towards us. ‘I was wondering where you’d got to,’ he says, stretching out his hand to Kay. When she offers hers, he takes it and lifts it to his lips. ‘I thought I’d stepped on your feet one too many times and you’d gone in search of a different dance partner.’ He laughs. ‘Not at all.’ She beams. ‘I was just finding my sister. Rose, this is Hew.’ Hew is ridiculously pretty, with floppy ginger hair, a plump mouth, brown eyes, and pale skin. I can see why Kay would feel flattered by his attention, but that’s only because she’s disturbingly unaware of how beautiful she is.
‘The infamous Rose Kultavaris.’ Hew stretches out his hand, and I offer my own for Kay’s sake. ‘Pleased to make your acquaintance at last. I have heard much about you.’ ‘From Kay or other sources?’ There’s a bristliness to my voice and yet
he smiles. ‘Both.’ ‘Is that so?’ My skin prickles at his suaveness. It reminds me of all the men and women who turned their backs on my parents. Maybe his family was among them? Still, I offer him a tight, polite smile. ‘Do I want to ask who else has been talking about me?’ ‘Probably not. Although, by the looks of it, the main culprit is on his way over now.’ He nods his head, gesturing behind us to the figure walking our way.
And it really is one hell of a figure.
Kyor’s interpretation of formal wear is nothing more than a white shirt and tightly fitted trousers, but he still outshines the guests around him. I don’t know how he does it, but every time I see him his eyes appear bluer and his shoulders broader. Of course, his overall appeal is also enhanced by the fact that he’s cleaned up since all the heaving and retching in the forest. ‘You’re friends with Kyor?’ I ask. ‘Hew was in the forest for the prince to save,’ Kay answers me. ‘Though he was kept in another part from me.’ So it’s not just Zelle that Kyor is close to. Interesting. ‘The prince and I have been friends since childhood,’ Hew says with unconcealed self-importance. ‘There’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for him.’ ‘Interesting company you’ve picked here, Howells.’ Kyor ignores me completely as he speaks to Hew. ‘Yes, well, I was just going to ask Kay for another dance. Perhaps make up for my previous lack of skill.’ His eyes glitter at Kay and I don’t like it. ‘You really weren’t that bad,’ she replies with a tinkling laugh before taking his arm.
Before she can take a single step away, I reach out and grab her. ‘I thought we were going to talk. Catch up?’ Conflict flashes on her face. ‘Of course, yes.’ She bites her lip. ‘Let her have some fun,’ Kyor chides from behind me. ‘This is meant to be a ball, remember? And you have all night to talk. I’m sure Hew won’t
keep her for long.’ He’s right. I don’t want to stop her from enjoying herself. Not when she looks so happy. ‘Find me after the dance,’ I instruct tightly. ‘Of course,’ she replies, her smile tightening. ‘Though maybe after the second one.’ I’m unable to draw my narrowed eyes away from Kay and Hew as they walk towards the dance floor. ‘She’s eighteen, right?’ Kyor says. ‘She doesn’t need your permission to do anything.’ ‘She’s eighteen and she knows nothing about the way the court works.’ ‘And you recall such matters, do you?’ he asks softly. ‘Well then, Kultavaris, you’ll recall how essential it is to curry royal favour. Dance with me.’ It’s not a request, and I hate that, but he’s right, damn him. I can’t afford to spit at him in front of the whole court, not if I want Kay to stand a chance of belonging here if I win the gifting.
The music strikes up, and Kyor holds out a hand. I take it, trying to ignore the burst of static as his fingers curl around mine. Wordlessly, I allow him to guide me to the dance floor where he places his other hand on the small of my back, sending shockwaves through my body.
My breath catches as momentary panic rises through me, and it’s only partially because the prince has his hands on me. I’m not actually sure that I remember how to dance. I don’t even recognise what music this is, other than it’s not a waltz. As I grapple for memories of my previous life, Kyor draws me to him, the strength of his movements guiding me, leading me.
His body presses against mine, and unwanted heat floods through me. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll go slowly,’ he whispers against my ear. The heat of his presence becomes stifling, and I realise this is nothing more than another excuse to torture me. His thigh brushes mine again and again, and each turn and step drags me across the hard lines of him. I wish Llin had never cut that damned front panel out.
As I struggle to keep my breath even, his eyes catch mine and I see the glint within those pale irises. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me, and I hate him all the more for it.
Other than his initial remark, we’re silent as we dance, though words aren’t needed given that the taunting caress of his flesh against mine says it
all. The thin fabric of my dress is barely a barrier for my hardening nipples, which ache with every brush of my chest against his. My legs want to twine around him, not step neatly in time with him. In fact, every part of me screams to close the last inches between us, to feel his mouth on mine, to tear away civility and give in to the mess of need clawing at my insides.
Need I never thought possible; it is primal and desperate and affecting every fibre in my body.
And the worst of it? He knows. I can feel it in the way his hand presses just a fraction firmer on my back, in the way his breath ghosts my ear, making me shudder. The tension between us is so thick I could choke on it, and the urge to run my hands across his skin is almost overwhelming.
As Kyor twirls me across the dance floor, I feel the weight of a hundred sets of eyes. Watching. Judging. Whispers ripple through the crowd, speculation sparking in every stolen glance.
Among them, I catch sight of Zelle. He’s dressed in his uniform – a clear indication that he’ll be working and not enjoying the frivolities tonight. Still, he’s smiling as though the sight of Kyor and me moving in step – so different from our usual sparring – pleases him. When his gaze finally locks with mine, that smile deepens. A moment later, he’s melted back into the crowd. No doubt back to work.
Finally, the music comes to an end, and the moment Kyor’s fingers release mine, I flee into the crowd without a backward glance. I agreed to a dance, not to a conversation. Thankfully, I see salvation in the form of the formally dressed Benny and head straight towards him. ‘Where have you been all day?’ I ask, trying to focus on anything other than Kyor Knavin. ‘Just praying,’ he replies. ‘Are we going to talk about that?’ He gestures to the dance floor. ‘No more than we’re going to talk about your “praying,”’ I fire back sharply.
He winces a little, and I know I’ve found my mark. Whatever Benny was doing, it wasn’t consulting the higher powers. ‘Fair.’ The music begins anew and apprehension curls in my gut as I watch Kay and Hew dance together again. I press my lips together. She doesn’t know that two dances in a row signal serious intent, that Hew is telling all others that Kay is his to court, and that by accepting the second dance, she is telling the rest of the nobles the same.
Kay’s practically floating in her green dress, eyes sparkling with joy. I have to admit that she and Hew make a striking pair; there’s no doubt about that. And from the way he glides, pulling her into every turn, the only way he’s been stepping on her feet is if it’s been deliberate.
I scan the crowd, trying to spot Artur, only to realise I have an issue. I no longer know what Artur Lorathin looks like. My memories of him are hazy at best, and the truth is, I struggle to see a face I recognise outside of the Rettlings. What I need is to find Jonas so that he can reintroduce us.
Changing plans, I begin looking for my fellow Rettling, but before I can even work out where to start, a voice cuts through the ballroom. ‘Murderer! Korvane, you will pay for what you’ve done!’ A second later, the room is engulfed in total darkness.
