Chapter 53
don’t know what it is between Kyor and me. Just physical attraction, I‘I guess.’ ‘But you and Jonas kissed,’ Llinos says, her brow creased in concentration as she slices through another ballgown. ‘Things have changed since then. Last night he wanted something more to happen, but I turned him down.’ ‘And you said no because of this attraction to Kyor?’ Her eyes glint as she speaks. ‘Two hot guys wanting you. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be. I mean, have you thought about having both? At the same time?’ I offer her my best glower. ‘No, I haven’t.’ I haven’t seen Jonas since he stormed off at breakfast, and I’m sure it’s deliberate. We almost always cross each other’s paths in the dining hall or the battle yard, but today there’s been no sign of him. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m desperate to see Kay, I’d skip the ball and hang out with Llinos rather than potentially having to face Jonas.
The dress Llin chooses for tonight is different from the others. The high neck cuts a horizontal line across my collarbones, while the back plunges all the way down to the base of my spine. While the top is black, the colour blends down into a deep blood-red on the skirt. The final detail is the slit.
It’s a change from the normal fighting-shorts style – clearly Llin wanted to try something different – but it’s hardly modest, so high up my leg it’s almost at hip height. ‘Well.’ Llinos steps back. ‘If your aim is to have them physically drawing swords over you, this will definitely do that. And by swords, I mean—’
‘Just don’t.’ I shoot her a glare.
She snickers. ‘I’m just saying it’s hot as hell.’ She studies me. ‘I think we should leave your hair loose tonight. Straight. Give me a minute and I’ll see if I can get rid of some of that frizz.’ For the next ten minutes, she works on pulling the knots and snarls out of my hair. By the time she’s done, it’s time to leave, and yet she still hasn’t even had a shower. ‘It’s not like anyone actually checks if we go,’ she says. ‘And I just don’t feel in the mood.’ ‘But what about the wine?’ I try weakly. ‘You were so upset last time when you couldn’t drink.’ She offers a slight smile. ‘Maybe you can sneak a bottle out for me?’ I’m about to suggest that if she comes, we can sneak several out and carry on the party here later, but before I can, there’s a knock on the door. ‘Are you ladies decent?’ Benny calls only to immediately push the door open. ‘Disappointing,’ he sighs as he strides in and strips his top off, only to stop in the middle of the room and look at Llin. ‘Why aren’t you ready?’ With a simultaneous groan and roll of her eyes, she drops down onto her
bed. ‘I told you, I’m not going.’ ‘Right, but that was when Caroline couldn’t come.’ Her head tilts to the side. ‘What do you mean, when?’ A grin quirks at the corner of Benny’s lips as he nods towards the door.
Standing there, in a deep green ballgown, is Caroline.
With the gasp still leaving her lungs, Llin rushes to the door and wraps
her arms around her girlfriend. ‘How?’ Caroline looks fit to burst; she’s smiling so broadly. ‘Well, it turns out having a girlfriend who’s friends with the prince has its bonuses. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you two were close.’ Llin’s jaw drops. ‘Oh we’re not,’ she says, looking at me. ‘Rose, that’s not just physical. Doing stuff for your friends … that sounds like it could be bordering on actual feelings.’ Despite struggling to accept it, my stomach flutters in agreement. ‘You need to get dressed,’ I say to Llin instead. ‘Or is Caz coming as my date?’ Benny teases, flashing the scribe a grin.
‘I’VE JUST HAD the best thought,’ Llin exclaims as we cross the courtyard half an hour later. ‘Wasn’t it Kyor’s best friend who Acacia was with last time? What was his name? Hew? You guys could double-date. That would
be so cute.’ ‘Stop. It. Now.’ There’s no denying I’m going to have to speak to Kyor tonight, if only to say thank you for allowing Caz to attend, but the thought alone is enough to fill my stomach with butterflies.
As we step into the ballroom, we find that tonight’s theme is the colour white. White flowers, white suits on the waiters, white ice sculptures. Even the floor is white. I glance down at the hem of my dress, only for the air to stiffen in my lungs. The blood-red against the white floor conjures the image of Oke’s blood pooling on the ice. Blood I spilt. ‘Rose, you look lovely as always.’ I’m jerked out of the memory by Jonas’s voice. He is dressed the same way as he was at the other balls.
Smart, attractive with his ceremonial sword, and still not the one I want. ‘May I walk you in?’ I hesitate. Giving him false hope isn’t going to help him, but I also don’t want to appear rude. ‘I was going to find Kay,’ I tell him, only for my line of sight to fall directly on her. A warmth spreads through my heart as I remember what Dinah said about us being able to find each other, even if the world cracked apart. She’s standing with a young man I recognise vaguely, though it’s
definitely not Hew. ‘Isn’t that your father’s ward?’ ‘William. Yes.’ Jonas sweeps his arm around my waist, causing my muscles to stiffen in response. ‘Come on, let’s get you a drink.’ ‘I need to see her first,’ I say, slipping out of his grip, only for him to grab me by my hand. ‘We can get a drink. She’s not going anywhere.’ ‘No, I want to see Kay first.’ I’m practically spitting the words, and I can feel Llin and the others staring at me, but I don’t care. I have no idea why Jonas thinks he has the right to stop me from speaking to my own sister, but it’s not going to happen. ‘You want a drink, then get one. I don’t
need an escort.’ With that, I turn on the ball of my foot and march across the dance floor towards her.
I’m still several feet away when Kay notices me. The way her eyes light up is almost enough to make up for the distance between us these past several weeks. ‘Rose!’ She squeals my name as she races those last few feet towards me and wraps her arms around me with such force I feel my ribs popping.
Not that I can blame her. Never has a single hug felt as good as this. Tears fill my eyes as I hold her against me. ‘I can’t believe it,’ she whispers, her head still pressed against my shoulder. ‘I can’t believe you’ve survived all this without magic.’ She pulls away from me slightly, tears now streaming down her cheeks. ‘Rose, you’re actually going to win this thing! I believe it. You promised to bring us back here, and you did it. And now you’re going to win the Retterheld.’ ‘It’s going well,’ I admit, brushing away her relieved tears with my thumb. I can’t believe how much healthier she looks. The colour in her cheeks. The brightness in her eyes. This is what I did this for. But as great as it is to have her faith in me, now I also have the fear of letting her down. ‘But there’s still the fourth trial and the Ofur to get through,’ I remind her. ‘Well, you’re certainly making the bookies look foolish,’ a voice interjects from behind me. I twist around only to realise I barged past William to get to Kay, and without so much as a greeting. ‘Sorry, William.’ I offer him my hand, which he kisses briefly and politely. ‘I hope you’re well. You were saying something about bookies?’ ‘Very well. I was just saying that you might find one or two people whose purses are substantially lighter, what with you still being here.’ ‘Then more fool them.’ Kay grins at me.
A light pause falls between us, though William fills it with ease and awareness. ‘You two have plenty to catch up on, so I shall leave you and hear how my own brother has been faring.’ He nods towards Jonas, who is staring at us from across the room. ‘Have a wonderful night, ladies.’ ‘Thank you, William.’ ‘It was lovely to see you again, Rose. Kay, I’ll see you at home later.’
He smiles at my sister. ‘See you later, Will.’
A notable tension ripples through me at the ease with which Kay seems to have accepted the court as her home. I need to tell her about Llin’s offer.
The goal was always to return to the High Hold, but now we have an option that is even better. Because if my closest friends are in the Eastern Isles, it would be foolish for us not to go there. But before I get a chance to speak, Kay takes my hands and pulls me towards one of the seats at the edge of the room. It’s not next to the fire, so I guess she’s also growing accustomed to the warmth here. ‘So tell me everything. We don’t have long till Hew arrives, and I promised him he could have all my dances tonight.’ The tension squeezes harder around my throat and chest. ‘Kay, what are you doing?’ ‘What? Honestly, Rose, if you spent any time with him at all, you’d love him. He’s fun. He’s caring. He’s attentive. He’s—’ ‘A lord,’ I say. ‘A member of the Royal Court, from which we were banished after our powers were stripped.’ ‘To which we’ll be returned, when you win the gifting, right? There’s no point lying. I worked it out. That’s the only reason you’d put yourself through this, right? For us. So that we can get out of the slums. So that we can live safely.’ I try to interrupt but she won’t let me get a word in edgeways. ‘None of that matters to Hew. He doesn’t care about that. He likes me as a person. Do you know what an incredible feeling that is?’ I thought I did. I thought Kyor saw me.
Anxiety holds me fast, but looking at the joy on her face, the last thing I want to do is burst my little sister’s bubble. I can’t remember the last time I saw her this happy – if I ever have. ‘Just don’t do anything stupid,’ I say to her, pressing my lips tightly
together. ‘Like what?’ she asks innocently.
My cheeks heat. ‘Like … you know what. If he’s as loyal and caring and unbothered about things as you say, then he’ll have no issue waiting until there’s a ring on your finger, will he?’ She scoffs. ‘My Gods, you really are the sensible older sister, aren’t you?’ ‘Kay …’ Something about the way she avoids my gaze causes my pulse to hitch up another notch. ‘Tell me you haven’t. You haven’t? Honestly.’ Again, she offers me another look of exasperation.
I’ve felt like a parent plenty of times in the last few years, but I’ve never felt like the parent of an eighteen-year-old quite as much as I do now. ‘Just a little bit of fooling around, that’s all. Nothing that would get me into trouble. And you can’t tell me you’re not doing the same. I’ve seen the way Jonas looks at you. He’s smitten. So smitten, William reckons he might actually propose.’ ‘What?’ I feel my jaw drop to the floor. That has to be a joke, right?
Marriage? Me, married to Jonas? What could possibly be the advantage to Jonas and his family in his marrying me? Perhaps they anticipate that if I win this thing, it will strengthen their name, but then why would Jonas be in it if he didn’t think he could win? I think of the way Estel sneered when she mentioned my father marrying for love. Artur would not wish for that same ridicule for Jonas. Besides, a marriage for love needs to be two-sided.
With a shake of my head I push the thoughts aside. I did not put myself in this competition to find a husband. Given the survival rate, it would’ve been a pretty shit mathematical probability to take a chance on. ‘Oh, look who it is!’ She’s on her feet without a moment’s hesitation, a wide grin on her face. I turn to see Hew striding towards us with Kyor at his side. As etiquette dictates, Kay stretches her hand out to the prince first. ‘Acacia.’ Kyor smiles softly. ‘You look lovely.’ ‘Thank you,’ she says, dipping ever so slightly into a formal curtsy. ‘Rose.’ His eyes lock on mine. No hint of a smile. Nothing but neutral formality. And yet it’s still enough to make my pulse rocket. Still, I miss hearing ‘Thorn’ fall from his lips, and I hate the stiffness with which he holds himself apart from me. ‘Rose!’ Kay hisses, clearly expecting me to follow her lead and curtsy.
Though I thought often about bending my knees for Kyor, it wasn’t for a damned curtsy. ‘Miss Kultavaris.’ Hew looks solely at Kay as he speaks. ‘I believe you promised me all your dances tonight.’ His voice is syrupy sweet. ‘That seems somewhat selfish,’ Kyor says. ‘She probably wants to spend time with her sister. Besides, weren’t you saying there was that woman from Dorain you were planning on having some fun with tonight?’ Hew crinkles his nose and scoffs. ‘No, I was not. And your sense of humour is vile. Thankfully, Miss Kultavaris knows better of me than that.’ ‘Come on,’ Kay says, holding out her hand. ‘We can fit in one dance, and then I’ll be in need of a glass of wine and a talk with my sister.’
Hew whisks her away without another word, leaving me alone with Kyor.
Silence rushes into the space between us. Heavy. Expectant. ‘Thank you,’ I say quietly to get it over with. ‘For allowing Caroline to attend tonight.’ He shrugs. ‘It was hardly a big deal. I just wrote her an invitation.’ ‘Well, it meant a lot to Llin. And to me.’ Another pause takes hold and once again, I know there’s more I have to say. Finally, I coax the words out. ‘ Thank you for not saying anything to them. To my friends. About … you know …’ ‘I was never going to,’ he says just as quietly. ‘I promise you. No matter what changes between us, you have my word on that.’ He pauses and glances out across the ballroom. ‘Would you like to dance with me again, Miss Kultavaris?’ My body is desperate to respond yes, but it’s his use of my surname that slaps some sense into me. ‘Kyor, you’re the prince, the king’s heir. And I am from the family that was stripped of magic because they were blamed for your mother’s death.’ ‘So that’s a no? You don’t want to dance?’ For the first time tonight, that
twinkle has returned to his icy eyes.
‘What I want is irrelevant.’ ‘Not to me it’s not.’ The urge to be close to him is unbearable. I tried to dismiss what is between us as nothing more than an attraction, but though I’ve been attracted to men before, it’s never felt like this. Like every cell in my body is screaming out to be touched by him. And from the hunger in his eyes, I’m not the only one who’s feeling it. Maybe if we got to finish what we started, it might offer a respite from this insanity. Maybe just one night would be enough to get it out of our systems.
The thought has barely formed when the moment is severed by Holden appearing beside us. ‘I hope you’re not neglecting your other guests in favour of the Rettlings, Prince Kyor. Or rather, one particular Rettling.’ I stiffen at his presence, feeling my hands clenching at my side. ‘Your father was asking me where you were,’ Holden continues. ‘As you well know, there’s a certain etiquette when it comes to these situations.’ ‘You’ve come here and interrupted your prince in a private conversation to lecture me on etiquette?’ Kyor’s gaze is so withering I’m surprised there
aren’t sparks flying from it.
To give Holden his due, he only shrinks back a fraction. ‘Kyor,’ I say, placing a hand on his chest. I’m not sure why, other than it feels like the right thing to do. I feel the disapproval flare from Holden but ignore it. ‘Go, do your part. Perhaps the commander was hoping I might give him some fighting tips after the results of this morning’s spar.’ ‘I will find you again soon,’ Kyor promises. ‘We need to talk.’ The slightest ghost of a smile rises on his lips before he turns and walks away, leaving me alone with Holden.
