Chapter 58
e’ve put this off for long enough.’ Kyor’s expression is unusually‘W stern as he looks at me. ‘Please just try, just this once. For me.’ ‘You want me to try to do something that could get me killed?’ I reply, folding my arms across my chest. ‘I’ve already told you, no one is going to come down here. Now, see if you can freeze the water.’ It doesn’t matter how many times I try to tell Kyor that whatever it looked like to him, the magic that killed Oke was the spectre’s and not mine; he refuses to believe me. Maybe because I don’t have any evidence.
Not that I haven’t tried to get some. I’ve been down to the library every afternoon for the past ten days, trying to find Caroline to check on how she’s doing and to ask for her help with researching the matter. I figure that maybe having a task to focus on might help her with her grief, but there’s been no sign of her. I’d like to think that she’s not been avoiding me on purpose, but I can’t blame her if she is.
Still, Kyor’s been insistent that we should see if the powers are still within me. Just to check. And finally, I’ve given in. ‘Just try to freeze that water,’ Kyor pushes, gesturing to the bowl in front of me. ‘I don’t know why you think I can do this,’ I repeat. ‘I can’t.’ ‘Just try. Please.’ I let out a slight huff before directing my attention to the bowl .
With my focus on the water, I tense the muscles in my hand so hard that my fingers start to throb.
‘Why are you helping me do this?’ I snap in frustration when nothing happens. I spin around to glower at Kyor. ‘You know only one of us will be gifted.’ He nods, pairing the gesture with a brief shrug. ‘You’re right. But maybe some things have become more important to me than the gifting.
Like keeping you alive. And you having control over whatever magic you were able to conjure in the trial is part of that.’ Silence falls between us, stretching into a tension-filled silence with one unspoken question. One I want to ask, only I’m not sure I want the answer.
Namely, why would the future king – a man who can have anything he wants in an instant – need the greatest gift offered by the Gods?
He parts his lips and for a split second I think he’s about to tell me. But then he glances back at the bowl and the water within it. ‘Practise,’ he says. ‘Freeze it.’ We stay there for almost an hour, after which the water definitely feels colder, but that’s probably just because it’s a chilly night. Or maybe because my fingers have lost the ability to feel. Either way, I’m spent. ‘I need to stop. This isn’t working. I told you, it’s not my magic.’ He presses his lips together as though he still isn’t convinced, but thankfully he doesn’t press the matter any further. ‘Can we just head to bed?’ I say, looking up at him.
‘If that’s what you need.’ ‘It is.’ I don’t make any pretence of heading upstairs. Instead, I cross the kitchen and walk into the dimly lit space that is solely his. His drawings are still on the desk. Most of them are of his wolf, though some are of people. I know there’s one of Zelle as I caught sight of it the other day, but I haven’t looked through the others. Even when he sketches late at night, while I doze in bed, I haven’t asked him what he’s working on. If he wants to show me, he will.
The room is lit only by the glow of a single lamp. As he strips off his shirt, the light catches the ridges of his back, his muscles glistening as he moves and flexes. I reach out and trace a line between his shoulders and feel him shiver beneath my touch. ‘Rose …’ My name comes out as a breath, a barely there gasp. As he st ands, as stoic as a statue, I move my hand further down his back to the hollow at the base of his spine. Then lower still.
But before my hands reach his waistband, he spins around and grabs me
by the wrists. ‘You know the rule.’ ‘Not as a distraction,’ I say, my hands now on the bare skin of his torso. ‘But what was it you said to me? You are the distraction. Isn’t that right?’ I smile, though the gesture is snatched away as a memory of Holden’s words crosses my mind. How this is a game and Kyor’s going to grow bored with me.
I’ve never been naïve enough to think that whatever this is will last forever, but to be over so soon, before it even really started, hurts more than I would have expected. I cross to the other side of the room before twisting back to face him. ‘You know, if you changed your mind about wanting this, I understand,’ I say, trying to keep my voice steady. ‘But at least have the decency to admit it.’ ‘What?’ His eyes widen as he looks at me with pure disbelief. ‘Why would you say that?’ ‘Why?’ I can’t help the bitterness of the laugh that escapes my throat. ‘Because every time I try to initiate something, you brush me off. You barely kiss me, unless it’s just a peck. When I strip to climb into your bed, you turn away from me. And you’re gone most of the time when I wake up.
If all you want is friendship—’ ‘That is not all I want!’ He strides towards me and for a split second I’m sure he’s going to grab me and kiss me, but instead his hands stretch out in front of him as though he’s trying to keep a physical barrier between us. ‘Rose, I don’t kiss you because if I start, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop. I can’t watch you get undressed, because the sight of your skin has me wanting to plunge my tongue deep enough that you’re all I’ll taste for days to come, and I’m certain you’ll see it all over my face. And I’m gone in the morning because the sight of you, lying in my bed, barely dressed, gets me so hard that if you were to ask me for anything, I would be powerless to say no. You are still a thorn in my side, and I want you from the moment I wake, through every breath I take, until the moment I go to sleep. Every dream I have, every wandering thought, you are there. Don’t you ever again doubt that I want you. I’m just trying to respect you. To protect you and not take advantage of you. That’s it.’
He looks at me, unblinking and without a shadow of doubt in his voice.
And there’s none in me, either, as I take a step closer so that his hands brush against my skin. ‘I don’t need you to protect me, not here in this room. In here, either you treat me as your equal, or you accept that there’s no hope for us and this is already over.’ ‘That’s not something I’m willing to accept,’ he says, his voice a growl. ‘Good,’ I rasp, already feeling the slickness between my legs. ‘Then show me how much you want me. Now.’ His mouth is on mine in an instant, and not with timidity or doubt, but with the same urgency and pressure as that first kiss. Back then he accused me of not trusting him, of kissing him to keep him silent. But there’s no doubt in my mind anymore. I trust this man with my life, my soul. I might as well. After all, I fear he already has it.
My hands work over his chest and he buries his head in my neck, licking and biting at the skin, causing my hips to buck as my body melts
against his. ‘Kyor,’ I groan. ‘I wouldn’t,’ he whispers. ‘You keep saying my name like that and this will be over way too fast.’ ‘Kyor,’ I say again and a shudder rolls down his spine as he presses his weight into me, finally allowing me to feel his full length. Any illusion of control I had is gone as I grab a fistful of his hair and pull him closer into me. ‘Good Gods, you are beautiful,’ he says as he fumbles with the bottom of my shirt. I lift my hands above my head so he can strip me, so that he can see all of me. He sighs out a moan as he holds his hand millimetres from my bare nipples and allows the static from his hand to spark against my skin. ‘Fuck!’ I gasp as I grip hold of him with such force my nails bite into his skin. ‘Too much?’ he asks, looking at me with concern. ‘Gods no,’ I reply, shaking my head. ‘We’ve got a long way to go before you hit too much.’ A grin slides across his face, but rather than returning his hands to my chest, he works on the buttons of my trousers. The moment they’re undone, he pulls them down.
I reach for him. It’s my turn. I need to hold him, feel him, but before I can even manage to undo the top button, he has me by the wrists and pulls my hands away. ‘We have time for that,’ he says. ‘First, I’m going to need you to lie back on that bed and let me kiss you like I’ve been dreaming of.’ Even if I wanted to say no, I don’t have the strength. Instead, I drop back, my legs falling open, every inch of my body exposed to him. A guttural noise rises from Kyor’s throat. ‘You have no idea how hard you make me,’ he growls. ‘I would if you would let me feel you inside me,’ I say hopefully.
His laugh is wild and carefree as he grins at me. ‘You really do lack
patience, don’t you?’ ‘Only with you.’ ‘Well, it’s coming, and so will you. Don’t worry.’ He leans over my body and runs his hands over my stomach as he plants his lips against the top of my thigh. I half whimper, half groan as my hips buck into him. ‘I am going to make it my mission to touch every part of your body,’ he says, drawing his tongue higher, ‘with every part of mine.’ With every moment, he adds to the pressure that only makes me yearn for more. ‘I need you inside me,’ I plead. I’ve never felt like this before. So desperate. So utterly without control or restraint. ‘Soon.’ He reaches the apex of my thighs and my legs instinctively open wider as I reach up, desperate to pull him in closer. But before I can, his fingers are hovering above my clit, sparking against the skin.
‘Fuck … I can’t … You can’t …’ ‘Too much, my love?’ ‘Don’t stop. Don’t …’ I can’t finish a response. My back is arched again, the pleasure exquisite. I need to feel something inside me – him inside me – but I know from that glint in his eyes that he’s enjoying watching me way too much. ‘You know, I think you’re using your powers so you don’t have to touch me yourself,’ I gasp out.
It’s a lie, an outright one, and he knows it, but I’m willing to try anything to get what I want. ‘Oh, I’m perfectly willing to touch you,’ he purrs. Relief floods through me. Finally I’m going to get to feel him inside me, but instead, his head
disappears between my legs.
I cry out as his tongue sweeps my most sensitive of areas. My entire body melts into his as his tongue starts a constant motion that has my legs trembling. I didn’t think anything could be more intense than his static shock, but with what his mouth is capable of, I am going to crumble imminently. ‘I’m going to come,’ I gasp, struggling to get out the words between breaths. ‘I’m going to come if you keep doing that.’ ‘That’s the point,’ he growls back. It’s a fight between my body and mind, and my body is losing. It doesn’t matter that I want to hold on. That I want to wait until I feel him in the depths of me. I can’t stop. The motion of my bucking hips matches the rhythm with which his tongue works me, and my hands grip the sheet as I try to maintain a modicum of control, but before I can even try to steady my breath, he slides two fingers inside me. ‘Fuck, you’re soaking,’ he groans as he moves his mouth momentarily away from me. I don’t know why he’s surprised, and I want to say as much, but before I can, he switches up the pressure inside with a curl of his fingers. My entire body clenches, tightening around the feel of him. ‘I want to have you inside me.’ It’s my turn to growl, and yet all it elicits from him is a wicked grin as he looks up at me and then a lick of his lips.
He momentarily closes his eyes as he savours my taste. ‘I know what you want, and we’ll get there,’ he promises. ‘I’m just going to need you to do this for me first, okay? I’m going to need you to let go. You do that, and I’m all yours. Just let go for me. I want to watch you come apart, Rose.’ Fuck. That’s not an offer I can refuse, and even his voice is bringing me closer. My body is right on the edge, and I’m so damn close. He offers one more long rake up between my thighs with his free hand, as the other pumps in and out of me before his mouth finds my clit again. That’s all it takes. The kisses. The touch. I can no longer hold it back. Muscles spasm and quake as the orgasm shakes through every part of me, and my pulse is so fast I can barely believe I’m still breathing. And yet he doesn’t stop, his fingers still toying with me, pushing me higher still.
Only when every part of my body is spent and my breathing is ragged and shallow does he drop down onto the bed beside me, kissing me gently on the lips. I try to respond, but my body is weakened by whatever the hell he just did to me.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sight that good,’ he says, using his thumb to brush down my lip. ‘You have no idea how fucking sexy that was.’ ‘You don’t play fair,’ I say, sitting up slowly and manoeuvring myself so that I can straddle him. ‘Now I’m going to have to get my own back.’ The feel of just how hard he is between my legs is enough to have me needing him again, and I rock my hips with just enough force to feel the pressure of him pulse beneath me. As that first moan leaves his lips, I slide my hand down and finally grasp hold of him. ‘Gods.’ His eyes roll backward as a low groan reverberates in his throat. ‘You know, I thought I knew what this was meant to be like. Turns out, I’ve been getting it wrong for years.’ With every long stroke up and down his shaft, I tighten my squeeze ever so slightly. His hips buck in response. I thought after the orgasm he just gave me that I would need at least a little respite, but apparently the sight and feel of him is all it takes to get me ready to go again. ‘Gods, I want to be inside you,’ he growls with his eyes closed. ‘I want to feel that tight wetness around me.’ ‘Is that so?’ I say, unable to stop the smirk from rising on my lips. ‘Because I’m pretty sure that when I wanted the same, you told me I needed to have patience, remember? I think it’s time you take a little bit of your own advice, Your Royal Highness,’ I tease.
His eyes snap open as his body turns rigid beneath me. ‘Don’t,’ he says, shadows filling his gaze. ‘Don’t call me that.’ I shift back, loosening my grip on him. Surely he has to be joking, but there’s not a hint of humour in his voice. ‘Kyor?’ ‘I’m not him to you. I’m not your prince. Your kingdom’s heir. Your whatever else other people call me. I’m yours. That’s it. You understand?
I’m yours, even if you’re not mine. Even if this isn’t the same for you as it is for me. If you don’t …’ He stops, and my chest burns with the word he hasn’t said. Is that what this is? Not infatuation, not lust, but something else? Something far more dangerous? I don’t reply. Instead, I press my lips against his and respond the only way I can. ‘I’m yours,’ I whisper before the kiss deepens.
Whatever this was before has transformed. The urge to feel him in me is still there, the desperation just as acute. I need him to be so far within me
that it will be impossible to imagine us being separate again.
I want to say it. I want to offer him that assurance. That word. Yet as the tip of his head finally pushes me apart, all I can do is gasp. ‘I’ll go slow,’ he promises. ‘Kyor!’ I moan. It’s all so much, too much. ‘I’ve got you. I’ve always got you … ’ It’s just the head, and yet it’s stretching me as it inches slowly in, my senses on overload. ‘Gods, Rose. I … I …’ The word is on the tip of his tongue, I know it is, but before he speaks it, I thrust my hips downwards and plunge him in a little deeper. ‘Fuck!’ Our gasps are simultaneous as his body spasms inside me, but it’s not enough. He’s not all the way in. I’m not sure I can take him all, but I sure as hell am going to try. I want every single inch of him. I brace myself, ready to thrust again, only for a shrill sound to cut through the air.
Our eyes meet. ‘The fourth trial?’ I groan, sinking my head onto his chest. ‘Of course it fucking is,’ he growls. ‘Get dressed. We don’t know how long we have, and if they use portation …’ Yeah, being chucked in a tundra of ice in the nude would not go well for either of us. ‘Later,’ I tell him, allowing my tongue one more sweep against his, and he nods as we carefully detangle. ‘We will finish this later.’ ‘That better be a promise,’ he says, grabbing my hand. ‘Rose.’ His eyes lock on mine, and I know exactly what he’s going to say, but I can’t hear it now. Not like this. Not when one of us could die. ‘Later,’ I say forcefully.
His lips press tightly together before he nods once. ‘Later.’
