32
TREIZECI ȘI DOI
switched off the flashlight.
Invisible hands appeared in the darkness. One hand gripped myI hair. The other pressed down over my nose and mouth. And then it
pressed again. Harder.
You are a liar.
I couldn’t breathe.
You are everything I despise.
I was suffocating.
You are an informer.
Shocks of blue flashed behind my eyes. My mouth pulled dry with panic.
I burst from the closet and bolted out of our apartment, still clutching the note.
I had no plan. No outline in my notebook. But something inside of me churned, driving me toward Liliana. Did she think I was spending time with
her just to get information?
I banged on her apartment door.
Alex appeared. “Lili,” he said over his shoulder, “your boyfriend’s
here.”
Whispering hissed behind the door.
“Oh, sorry.” Alex shrugged. “She’s not home.” He shut the door.
I knocked again. And again. And again and again until the door finally opened.
“Look, she doesn’t want to see you. Keep it up and I’ll take care of that hand. You won’t be able to knock anymore,” said Alex.
Adrenaline, molecular courage. Every nerve ending blazed within me.
“Oh yeah, Alex? Step out in the hallway and we’ll see whose hands survive.”
“Are you threatening me, Cristi? I’d destroy you.”
“Try it, pămpălăule.”
“La dracu!” He grabbed me by the collar.
Liliana appeared and grabbed her brother, pulling him back. “Stop!”
“Worried I’ll kill your lovebird?” he spat.
“Shut up, Alex.” Liliana rushed by me and headed down the stairs. I ran to follow.
We pushed through the door and walked around the side of her building.
“What, now you want to fight my brother?”
“If that’s what it takes to speak with you.” I pulled the note from my
pocket.
“What is this? Did you write it?”
“Yes, I wrote it.”
“Why?”
“You’re asking me why?” Her mouth hung open in disgust. “The Secu pulled my father out of work,” she whispered. “They questioned him about bringing bones home, accused him of stealing from the Party.”
“What?”
“Yes!” she gasped, whispering at the top of her lungs.
“Liliana, I told no one. I swear to you. Someone else must know you give bones to the dogs.”
“Really? And they saw that I had a real Coke too?”
I took a step back. “Someone saw us drinking the Coke?”
“Oh, please. Stop the act, Cristian. You make me sick.”
“Liliana, you’re wrong. I told no one.”
“I’m right. And I’m an idiot! You know why? Because I liked you.”
Her breath hitched. “I really liked you. Oh, he’s so smart and interesting.
We understand each other. You really had me fooled. How many other girls are you seeing for information?”
“I’m only seeing you. And not for information. I’m spending time with you because I like you. I’ve liked you for years. You know that. Lil—” I reached for her and she recoiled.
She stared at me and her eyes filled with tears. “How could you?
Really, why, Cristian? I liked you so much. So much that now I hate you.”
She turned and fled.
My knees went slack. I stood, swaying, still clutching the note.
What had happened?
It had taken years to get close to Liliana.
And now she hated me. Yes.
But not as much as I hated myself.