EPILOGUE #1
ADIL
Welcome to the Blackcastle Book Club’s official group chat!
Seriously? You put a picture from The Land Before Time as the group’s profile picture?
ADIL Why not? It’s a good movie
STEVENS
Dude, that’s so wrong. It’s a children’s film, and we’re reading about dinosaurs boning
ADIL It’s a good thing we’re not making them read the books, isn’t it?
ADIL
But fine, I see your point
ADIL I wanted to keep it a surprise, but since you insist on policing my admin decisions, I’ve changed the picture to the cover of this month’s book club pick
ADIL Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for **drumroll please** Shagging the Spinosaurus!
VINCENT We already guessed that was the book of the month. We saw you reading it the other day
Aren’t you supposed to read it with the rest of the club? Why are you reading it early?
STEVENS Yeah, that’s CHEATING
ADIL It’s called vetting. Also, I’m the admin. I can do what I want
SAMSON
I tried looking for it at the bookstore yesterday and couldn’t find it.
Donovan, what was the name of the store you went to?
Uh…I don’t remember. Just some shop I stumbled on in the city. I’m sure you can buy the book online
GALLAGHER
I don’t understand. How do you shag a spinosaurus?
STEVENS The same way you shag a triceratops and a T-rex, genius
GALLAGHER Oh, you sound so bloody confident. Are you speaking from experience?
ADIL Gentlemen, let’s get back on track! This is a book club, not a fight club
ADIL
Our first official meeting is on Wednesday. I want everyone to come prepared with at least one discussion question
GALLAGHER Dibs on the ‘how do you shag a spinosaurus’ question
ADIL You can’t ask that. It has to be a THOUGHTFUL question
VINCENT How thoughtful do you want us to be? We’re literally reading about dinosaurs fucking
And humans
If you forget them, that’s human erasure
VINCENT
Fuck off, Donovan
Spoken like someone who doesn’t have the IQ to come up with a good question
VINCENT Yeah? Let’s wait until Wednesday and see. I bet my question will be better than yours
You’re on. May the better questioner win
ADIL Okayyy. Moving on.
ADIL Noah, since you refuse to participate in the LITERARY side of our club, you’re in charge of snacks
NOAH Fine
ADIL I’m thinking we could do a themed event with dinosaur crackers
ADIL Do you think they make custom spinosaurus ones?
SAMSON So we’re going to eat the little dude while we read about him getting it on? That’s so wrong
STEVENS Poor Spiny. He deserves better
ADIL It was an IDEA. I don’t see you guys coming up with anything better
GALLAGHER How about jungle juice to stay with the dinosaur theme?
VINCENT Dinosaurs didn’t live in the jungle
GALLAGHER How do you know? Were you there?
Lol
VINCENT Don’t talk to your captain like that
GALLAGHER You’re our football captain. You’re not the president of this book club
GALLAGHER Also, I just looked it up and they did live in jungles, so you’re wrong
SAMSON Wait, we have a president?
ADIL
Yes, it’s me
ADIL
Anyway
ADIL Noah, can you call the dinosaur cracker company and ask them for custom spinosaurus snacks?
ADIL
Hello?
ADIL Noah?
NOAH WILSON LEFT THE CONVERSATION.
