Threshing Day (The Empyrean, #3.5) — Chapter no 13

634 AU Thoirt—Red Daggertail (Female) Descended from the Wybjorian Line

Estimated Age: 62 Recorded Riders: 1

—THE COMPENDIUM OF DRAGONKIND, LAST UPDATED BY COLONEL VALIN KAORI

SLOANE

“Don’t lose heart if it takes a few hours to bond,” Kaori says, holding his hands behind his back as he addresses every first-year left standing after Gauntlet and Presentation.

I tune him out as he starts in on the finer points of patience.

Can’t lie. I thought the cliffside obstacle course was going to take me

out. Then again, I was pretty sure I’d end up at the bottom of the ravine at Parapet, too. Oh, and I definitely saw my life flash before my eyes during a few challenges. Right. And then there was Presentation, where I also prepared for my imminent demise only to walk off the field unscathed.

Basically, I’ve been awaiting my death for the last three months, ever since Bodhi’s letter arrived with Garrick, telling me that my older brother had been killed. He wrote it carefully, knowing any mail between the marked ones is read and sometimes redacted, but I’d read through the lines.

I know what happened to him, that Violet Sorrengail and Dain Aetos got him killed.

If my perfect, caring, incredible older brother—the best in his year— couldn’t even make it through twelve months in this place, then what chance do I possibly have? I’m so fucking over it, and I’m done pretending I want any part of this.

The riot flew overhead a few minutes ago, which means the forest is now full of opportunities to meet Malek. If the price for refusing to bond is incineration, then so be it.

I will not be made into an instrument of death.

“And remember to follow your instincts,” Kaori continues.

“Unless your instincts lead you to a really pissed-off red,” Baylor mutters from beside me, a playful grin lifting his rich-brown cheeks.

Farther right, a corner of Aaric’s mouth rises in the only display of emotion he’s had today. It’s as if he’s the one who feels like he’s destined to die here with how tense he’s been since breakfast.

Visia rocks side to side on my left. Clearly her nerves haven’t settled.

Can’t blame her. If a dragon scorched a path up my hairline last year and left me for dead, I wouldn’t exactly be chomping at the bit to get back into the forest.

“You’ll be all right,” Avalynn promises, wrapping her arm around Visia and resting her bright red curls on her shoulder.

Maybe she won’t. Maybe we’ll both die today. That’s what I want to say.

Instead, I offer a reassuring smile and nod.

A third-year out of Second Wing jogs up to Kaori, then whispers something in his ear before she retreats back into the woods.

“Right.” Kaori clears his throat. “Looks like Molvic has been spotted in the forest.”

A murmur goes through the cadets, and everyone around me perks up,

so I do, too, feigning interest. It’s a lot easier to simulate feelings than it is to explain to everyone why you don’t actually have them anymore.

Well…I still have one. Rage is my constant, nagging companion. In that regard, maybe it should interest me that a vicious Blue Clubtail has entered the forest. Perhaps our temperaments would match. Except for the pesky little fact that I don’t want to bond.

Definitely keeping that morsel of truth to myself.

“He isn’t on this year’s list,” someone from Third Wing calls out.

“He isn’t,” Kaori responds, then sighs. “He never is. He just likes to wander about in the woods and get a look at you before inevitably returning to the Vale. Give him space and you’ll be fine.”

“A blue would be badass,” Lynx says, rubbing his hands together.

“Sure, if you want to end up carbonized.” Baylor shakes his head.

“You don’t want that,” Visia whispers. “Believe me.”

Aaric’s jaw ticks, but he stays silent, and Mischa continues to bite her nails to the quick behind him.

Kaori dismisses us, and we break apart, some staying to wish their squadmates well while others sprint headlong into the forest.

“Be careful.” I hug Visia tightly.

“What if it goes like last year?” she asks in a whisper.

“It won’t.” I pull back and offer her a smile, making sure it reaches my eyes. I don’t want my year-mate’s last memory of me to be anything but

supportive.

They all deserve the best.

“Look at Henrick,” Avalynn says, hooking her arm around Visia’s shoulder. The sun brings out the freckles across her nose. “He bonded on his repeat year, and you will, too.”

“Okay, Second Squad,” Baylor says, looking all of us in the eye. “Be smart. No one dies, got it? We hold last year’s title of the Iron Squad, and we’re not going to let Rhiannon down by losing it. It’s ours again this year.”

Yes, we should all rejoice if we’re the squad who makes it past Threshing with the least amount of casualties. Because that’s normal. Fuck, I hate it here.

Everyone agrees, and I give my best smile and nod to date. Damn, I’m getting good at faking it. We split off into the woods, and I find myself taking a parallel path to Aaric.

We keep a good fifteen feet between us as we head south, navigating the

gigantic trees. This place has trees planted from every province in Navarre, and it would be spectacularly beautiful if it wasn’t fertilized with the dust of dead cadets.

As death walks go, it’s peaceful to hike near Aaric. He’s not one to babble like Avalynn or fill the quiet with chatter because he’s uncomfortable with silence like Lynx. He tends to keep to himself and only speaks when something needs to be said. I have no doubt he’ll bond today.

He’s one of the best in our year, undefeated on the mat, even after someone broke his wrist last month. He has the kind of determination and purpose I admire, even envy.

But I desperately need him to go away so I can get down to the business

of dying already.

“There she is.”

My hand flies to my heart as Imogen jumps from a tree ten feet ahead of me.

“Trying to kill me from a heart attack?” I take a deep breath to steady my pulse and drop my hand.

“Feeling dramatic, are we?” She tucks her pink hair behind her ear and strides my way. “Because there are way scarier things trying to kill you out here.” She glances toward Aaric. “Graycastle.”

“Cardulo.” Aaric nods, then glances between us, clearly picking up on Imogen’s leave-us-alone energy. “I’m headed off.” He starts to walk away, then turns back toward us. “No dying,” he says, looking directly at me as if he can see straight past the layer of bullshit I slather myself in for everyone else. “No. Dying,” he repeats.

One of his best attributes is also one of the most annoying. He’s observant as hell.

“Yeah. All right.” I give him a wave, and he lingers another heartbeat before striding off into the trees.

“What the fuck was that about?” Imogen’s green eyes narrow on me.

“We want to keep the Iron Squad title.” I shrug.

“Right.” She quirks an eyebrow. “Are you fucking him?”

My mouth opens, then shuts, then opens again. “I’m sorry?” I manage to sputter.

“I don’t personally care.” She watches him disappear to the west. “Just curious, and I’m working on my friendship skills. You first-years are always a messy lot until you get your shit figured out.”

I fold my arms. “And you have your shit figured out? Is there some magic button where you hit your third year and suddenly know everything?”

Out of everyone in the quadrant, she might be the one person who can understand the depth of my rage, the way it eats away at everything that could potentially bloom into something positive. She’s definitely the only marked one I feel safe unleashing that rage on, because I know she won’t run off and tattle to Riorson that I’m unstable and put yet another burden on his shoulders. But I can’t be entirely honest with her, either.

I can’t be entirely honest with anyone.

“Point made.” A ghost of a smile crosses her face. “The thing about this place—this age—is that right when you think you’ve got an understanding of yourself and the people around you, everything shifts and you have to rise to a new set of challenges. We are perpetually works in progress, Little Mairi.”

“Nice pep talk.” I give her a thumbs-up and walk past her.

“Gods, you’re a pain.” She snorts and catches up with me easily. “Are you really trying to walk away from me?”

“This isn’t a weeknight, Imogen.” I glance sideways at her. “I’m not stuck training with you in the gym so I can earn one of the letters my brother left for me. Letters you know are rightfully mine.” Anger simmers in my stomach. Doling them out once a week is a cruelty I can’t accept.

Reading his letters are the only times I feel like he’s still here, like I could reach out and touch him if I tried hard enough. “I can’t believe you’re letting her use them as bait—”

“She’s using them as a bribe,” Imogen corrects me. “And Sorrengail— while an acquired taste—has your best interests at heart. Would you actually show up to train if she hadn’t dangled those letters above your pretty little blond head like a carrot?”

I grit my teeth.

“Exactly. But now you show up. You train. You might actually survive challenges thanks to Violet forcing you into the gym.”

“Don’t expect me to thank her.” Fuck that.

“Oh, definitely not.” Her voice drips with sarcasm as we step over a thick tree root. “After all, she only risked the anger of leadership and, oh, a god to save those letters for you. Did you ever think about that?”

My steps slow and my brows pucker because I really hadn’t.

“Thought not.” She sighs. “That girl nearly died, and the first thing she did when she got back to the quadrant wasn’t to tell her friends she was alive, it was to break into your brother’s room to save those letters we all know should be rightfully burned in sacrifice to Malek. Her first and foremost thought was for you.”

“Did you trek all the way out here to continue your valiant defense of Violet Sorrengail?” My tone loses a little of its acid.

“No.” Imogen shakes her head. “I came out to tell you that you’re looking for a female Red Daggertail named Thoirt.”

“What?” I trip over my own feet, and she grabs my elbow to keep me from face-planting in the dirt.

“Particular dragons who might be sympathetic to our cause tend to seek us out.” She lets go of my arm, the same one that bears the identical rebellion relic to my brother’s. “Thoirt is yours.”

Thoirt. Something in my chest starts to ache, but I push it away.

I’m not bonding today. I’m not bonding ever.

“Good to know. Thanks.” I try the nod and smile.

A cracking sound splits the air, and we both whip our attention to the east. Wood splits in the distance, followed by a shriek and a low thud. A second later, smoke rises above the canopy.

“Don’t be scared,” Imogen says. “That’s not going to happen to you.

Not with Thoirt already searching for you.”

I blink and meet her gaze. “I’m not scared.”

Her mouth curves into a smile. “You really aren’t, are you?”

“No.’’ I shake my head.

“Good. That will serve you well with a red. Their tempers require a rider who isn’t as hotheaded as they are. Look, telling you about Thoirt isn’t the only reason I’m here.” She swallows, then reaches into the pocket of her uniform and draws out a tiny wooden figurine of a daggertail.

I take the offering and cradle it with both hands. It’s perfect, from the snarling snout to the knife marks on the tail. I don’t need to ask her who made it. My heart threatens to crack open and spill the messy contents I’ve worked so hard to keep locked away. “How do you have this?”

“He was carrying it when he died,” she says softly. “I kept it for you.

For this moment. So you’d see how much he loved Deigh. So you’d realize how much you’re going to love Thoirt.” Her next breath shakes. “Guess Sorrengail isn’t the only cadet Malek might feel slighted by, but I couldn’t

burn it.”

“Thank you.” My fingers close around the figurine.

“You’re welcome.” She squeezes my folded hands. “Would you like me to stay with you?”

“No.” I pull my hands from hers, then look her in the eye and lie with my whole heart. “I’ll see you on the flight field.”

“All right.” She smiles. “But in all seriousness, are you fucking Graycastle? I find myself oddly curious, and as I feel like an honorary big sister, I’ve determined it’s my right to ask.”

“No.” I scrunch my face in disgust. “He’s hot, but he’s like…another brother. All my squadmates are. Well, not to one another. Pretty sure I caught Baylor and Avalynn sneaking around last night.”

“The night before Threshing? Absolutely.” Her brow knits. “You did some sneaking around of your own, right? Everyone should get laid before Threshing. And after. Whenever possible around here, really. Never know when you’ll wind up on the death roll.”

I press my lips together because what the hell am I supposed to say to that?

“Oh gods.” Her face falls. “You haven’t been sneaking around?

Enjoying all the freedom the first year gives you?”

“Is that what your sister recommended?” How are we even having this conversation?

“Katrina died when I was fifteen, so we didn’t really get to have these chats.” She taps her chin. “But I definitely think she would recommend fully experiencing what life has to offer.”

“Well…” I struggle for words. “I’d like this conversation to end—now.”

“Fair.” She retreats a few steps, then turns her back and walks away.

“See you on the flight field. The world could use another Mairi in rider black,” she calls back over her shoulder.

Except this Mairi doesn’t want to be wearing rider black. I stand there for what feels like an eternity, staring at my brother’s figurine. Screams echo in the distance. The breeze comes in with a hint of sulfur. Wings beat high above me as cadets bond.

Only when I have every detail of the figurine memorized do I tuck it into my pocket and begin walking.

Thoirt. Maybe knowing her name should change my mind about bonding, but it doesn’t. I ignore the tugging sensation in my chest that tells

me to head east and continue southward. She’ll be far better off with someone who wants the power, who doesn’t abhor the thought of wielding.

And in the next few hours, I’ll finally be free.

I let the rage bubble back up as I walk for the better part of an hour, coming across a few frazzled cadets and one Brown Swordtail who doesn’t

bother to look my way.

Shit. There went a wasted chance.

An hour later, I step directly into the path of a Green Morningstartail. It stalks toward me, huffing steam through its nostrils, and I hold my position, chin raised, arms locked at my sides. My heart starts to pound as it comes closer, crushing leaves under its claws.

Twenty feet away. I look it straight in the eye.

Ten feet. I hold my breath and brace for collision.

Now.

It steps right over me, its talons striking the ground no more than a few

feet behind where I stand.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

The rage within me doesn’t just simmer, it starts to sizzle.

By the time another hour passes, a Red Clubtail has blinked my way and continued on, and a pair of browns pick their way over me. I’ve seen countless dragons take to the sky through the holes of the canopy, heard their wingbeats as they bring their riders on their first flight. I bet there are only a few dozen of us left out here, and we’re so scattered that I haven’t seen another human in what feels like ages.

Gauging from the position of the sun, because gods know I didn’t think to bring a pocket watch, I only have another two hours before Kaori scoops up all of us who haven’t bonded and sets us back a year.

Fuck no. Absolutely not. I’m tired of living in limbo, and I won’t do it for another year.

“Come on!” I scream up at the forest, the sky, at whoever might be listening. “I don’t want to be here! I don’t want any of it!” It’s so freeing to finally voice the insidious thoughts that I can’t stop once I start. “Take me already or let me go!”

I throw my arms out, exposing every vital organ in my body as I walk between towering redwoods that have seen more of this kingdom’s history than I could ever stomach.

A giant Orange Swordtail swings its head in my direction, then pivots

and moves straight for me, coming from about fifty yards away.

My stomach clenches. This is it. I know in the marrow of my bones that this creature brings my fate closer with every step.

“Yes, you!” I shout, holding out my arms. “Come on! I don’t want to be a rider!”

The orange lowers its head and narrows its golden eyes as it approaches.

“Mairi!” a deep voice yells, tickling my brain with recognition, but I ignore it.

“I don’t want your power!” My voice rises as I walk toward the orange, more than willing to meet my destiny halfway and uncaring if anyone sees.

If it’s a second- or third-year, they’re bound by Codex not to interfere.

“Fuck this place and these people. I’m not meant for this!”

The orange unhinges its jaw, and its tongue curls.

“Mairi!” The voice grows louder. “Move!”

That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m moving, extricating myself from a future where I’m nothing more than a sharpened blade used to harm other people.

Fire rolls up the back of the orange’s throat, then shoots forward, barreling toward me in a stream that will only take seconds to arrive.

I close my eyes and welcome the impending release.

Liam. Mom. Dad.

I’m hit in the side so hard, my feet leave the ground and I’m sent careening through the air. Arms band around me as heat rushes by, stinging my exposed skin, but the agony I sought doesn’t arrive. Instead, a different pain strikes my left shoulder, and my eyes pop open to see the world somersaulting as I’m hurtled along the forest floor, pulled tight against a rigid chest.

When we finally come to a stop, I look up into a beautiful pair of deep brown eyes, so bottomless I feel completely untethered. I could lose myself here entirely, stare for an eternity without exploring past the surface or noting every ribbon of amber that draws me in even further.

“What the fuck are you doing, Mairi?” His voice booms, vibrating through my own ribs.

Reality comes crashing back in with the speed of an arrow, and I recoil, but there’s no give in the arms that hold me suspended over the forest floor.

Dain Aetos hovers above me, one hand braced on the ground to my right, the other splayed across my back, as though he—

My eyes fly wide. He sheltered me from the worst of the impact. He knocked me out of the way. He’s holding me against his torso like I’m

something he needs to protect.

But I know better.

“Get off me!” Anger courses through my veins, hotter than any fire a dragon could produce, and I shove both my hands against his immovable chest.

His eyes flare, and he moves with disconcerting speed, untangling himself from my frame and jumping to his feet.

My back hits the ground, but I don’t lie there longer than a heartbeat. I scramble to my feet as the tip of the orange’s swordtail passes by.

“I’m going to ask you again. What the fuck are you doing?” he shouts, the tendons in his neck straining as his hands curl into fists at his sides.

“Are you trying to die?”

“What business is it of yours?” I yell right back, disregarding every rule and regulation that’s been thrown at me since Parapet. This asshole got my brother killed.

“I’m your fucking wingleader!” His hands fly upward like I’m the one who’s out of line here. “I’m responsible for you!”

“Like you were Liam?” The rage gets the best of me, and I fly at him, throwing a fist up toward his face.

He retreats a step and I miss, causing me to nearly trip. “If you want to talk about your brother, it’s not going to be while you’re swinging at me.”

“Fuck you!” I surge forward and swing again, despite the difference in our heights. “You got him killed!”

“Stop it!” He catches my fist, then traps the next one when I try my left hook.

“It’s your fault they were sent to Athebyne!” Screw my hands; I still have feet. I kick out at him, and he grunts when I make contact with his shin. “I hate you!”

He yanks my hands and spins my body until my back is against his chest, and he holds my fists captive at my own collarbone. “Not as much as I hate myself, trust me.”

“I don’t,” I seethe and debate headbutting him, but I’m an inch or so shy of his chin, so that maneuver isn’t going to help me.

“For fuck’s sake.” He holds me even tighter, keeping me from moving.

“If you want to hit me, ask for a challenge, but I’ve seen you fight, and it’s

not going to end well for you.”

“Let. Me. Go.” I bite out each word through gritted teeth.

To my complete and utter surprise, he does.

I stumble forward, then pivot toward him so I don’t give him my back.

Not that he couldn’t have just killed me outright if he’d wanted to. My chest heaves with exertion, but he just stands there, covered in dirt from our tumble but otherwise completely unfazed. He didn’t even break a sweat, which feels horrifically unfair.

“Are you done hitting me?” he asks, lifting his brows.

“I haven’t decided.” I roll my left shoulder as it starts to ache. A quick glance tells me I hit something, because there’s a tear in my uniform and that’s definitely blood wetting the fabric.

“I appreciate the candor.” He stares down at me, emotions flickering across his features too fast for me to get a read on what he feels. “Yes.

Violet made it abundantly clear that I am the reason your brother was sent to Athebyne, and I live with that every fucking day. What I won’t live with is you throwing your life away in the middle of Threshing, screaming at a dragon that you don’t want to be a rider.”

“And that’s why you just broke Codex?” I hurl the accusation like a punch, and given the way his eyes widen, it hits. “Yeah. You interfered.”

“Fuck.” He laces his fingers, then rests them on the top of his head and closes his eyes. A deep breath later, he looks at me again. “At least I have your life to show for it.”

My stomach lurches and I drop my gaze, realizing how close I came to that not being true. I just hurled myself toward a dragon.

“Are you all right?” he asks.

I study the root structure of the tree to my left.

“Look at me,” he orders.

I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Dain Aetos just not only saw me hit my lowest point but saved me from myself. Somehow,

it only makes me hate him more.

“Eyes here, Mairi!” he snaps.

My gaze flies to his.

“Feel free to hate me,” he says, his voice softening. “We never have to speak of this again. You can pretend none of this happened if it makes you feel better, but I can’t leave you out here if you’re going to pull a repeat performance of whatever that was. So for the last time, are you all right?”

“No, I’m not all right,” I answer truthfully for the first time, letting my anger leech into the words. “It’s not all right that I had no time to mourn my brother before I was forced to cross the parapet. It’s not all right that I got thrown into a squad with one of the people responsible for his death, then put under the command of the other. It’s not all right that I’m here and he isn’t. It’s not all right that I want nothing to do with wielding, or power, or becoming one of the perfect little weapons this place prides itself on churning out. It’s not all right that I wasn’t given a godsdamn choice like you were for the simple reason that my parents lost their war and your dad

won his.”

He flinches.

Wingbeats sound above us, and we both look up as a Red Daggertail swoops from the sky.

Thoirt. My heart jolts, and I feel a click deep within my soul, as if something slipped into the broken place and sealed a leaking crack, making life just a fraction more bearable.

She lands in the space where the orange almost took my life, and the ground shudders beneath my feet. Her head swivels toward us, and she growls in Aetos’s direction. She’s strawberry red, with glistening scales, formidable claws, and might just be the most beautiful dragon I’ve ever seen.

“Guessing this one is yours,” Dain says, putting up his hands and looking at me instead of her. “Can I trust that you won’t try to get yourself

killed?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He retreats from Thoirt, then turns to walk away once he’s out of her line of sight. “Looks like I need to go report myself for a breach of Codex.”

I can’t find it in my heart to pity him. Not when he’s living while Liam lies buried in Tyrrendor.

“You lost your brother at Resson.” Her voice is sweeter than I imagined

a dragon having.

“I did.” I turn to face her fully.

“As did I.” She lowers her head, but it doesn’t feel threatening. “The dragons of my line have long chosen the riders of yours.”

My lips part. She’s a Red Daggertail, just like Deigh was, and she looks remarkably similar to Liam’s figurine. “You’re Deigh’s sister?”

“I am, and just as he chose Liam, I choose you, Sloane Mairi.”

All the fight drains out of me, and without the rage, the anger, I’m left with only the grief, and gods does it feel impassable. The weight of it is too much, too sharp to carry without bleeding out.

“Perhaps by bonding, we will help each other carry that weight. Help each other to heal.” She studies me without judgment, contradicting everything I’ve been taught about her kind.

“I’ve lost everyone,” I whisper, and my throat tries to close. “My parents. My brother. I’m the last living Mairi. How do you heal from that?”

If she has the answer, I desperately need it. My eyes prickle.

“Time.” She inches her snout closer. “As the last living Mairi, the daughter of the Rune Master, you must choose to live on.”

“Because my mom was good at runes?” I shrug, but I move toward her.

“I don’t want—”

“Power. I know.” She comes within reach of me, then rests her head on the ground. “I have felt every loss you have suffered. I have seen all you have endured and know what it will cost you to conquer what you feel is insurmountable. But you must endure.”

“What good am I to you as a rider if I don’t want to wield?”

“Now.” She eases forward, and I lift my hand to the warm scales between her nostrils. “You don’t want to wield now. I will give you what you have so deeply needed—choice. Only when you’re ready will I channel to you.”

“And if I choose never to?” My breath shudders.

“Then we will be excellent companions,” she says gently. “But I have seen your heart, and I know you will rise from this darkness. You will wield when you are ready, because if you do not, this war will be lost.”

I shake my head. “You’re thinking of Liam. He was the warrior.”

“I am thinking of you. Your brother did not inherit your mother’s gift.

You did.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Not yet, but you will.” She pushes against my hand. “For now, you will heal. You will grow. You will learn. And I promise that while you are the last of your line in this moment, you will never be alone again. You will never see a sunrise where I am not waiting for you.”

I lean forward and rest my forehead against her scales, taking in the enormity of what she’s vowed, of what bonding her really means. I’ll have

family again.

For the first time in months, my smile doesn’t just reach my eyes, I feel it in every beat of my heart.

“Would you like to fly back to your friends?”

My squadmates.

I lift my head and grin, then nod. “Yes.”

When I settle into her seat and adjust my hold on her pommel, it feels like walking through the gates of Mairghdelle.

I’m home.

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