Chapter Four
The staff accommodations remind me of summer camp, with small
rectangular cabins lined up in rows and narrow pathways weaving among
them. There are at least fifteen, from what I can see.
I make my way toward cabin seven, where a faint glow of light fills
the windows. Laughter explodes the moment I open the door.
“Hey!” The closest woman comes forward with a grin. She reaches
for my tote bag with her free hand. Her other one is gripping a silver flask.
“Someone’s late to the party!”
I feel my face growing red, never one for overt attention. “My plane
was delayed.”
She grins wide, showing me a beautiful set of white teeth. She’s
extremely pretty, her pixie-cut hair framing her delicate features nicely. “No
worries. I’m Autumn. You and I are bunkmates. Hope you don’t mind being
on the bottom.”
“Not at all. I’m Abbi.”
“You’re going to get to know us all really well, and really fast.”
“I see that.” I do a quick scan of the cabin. Three sets of twin
bunkbeds, one on each wall, and a tiny powder room opposite me. I’m not
sure how six women are going to handle being in here together, but I guess
we’ll manage.
Autumn waves a hand around the space. “Abbi, everyone. Everyone,
Abbi.”
I nervously make the rounds as the others take turns introducing
themselves to me. All of them look to be in their midtwenties. In the
bunkbed kitty-corner to us are Rachel and Katie—two giggly bottle-blondes
from Tampa. Across from us, a brunette named Lorraine from Oregon is
lying on the top with a magazine in hand. A stunning redhead from Atlanta
named Tillie sits on the bottom. Her hair is a vibrant, deep orangey red
instead of my flat, boring shade; a color I’ve wished for since I was twelve.
And her voice... I could listen to her accent all day long.
“We have to share a dresser. We each get two drawers and can split
the middle one with our unmentionables. I took the top because I’m so tall.
I hope you don’t mind,” Autumn says with a sheepish smile. She’s sweet.
And she is tall. She must have at least five inches on me.
“I don’t mind at all.” I toss my backpack onto the floor, glad to have
finally reached my bed. “What’s this?” I ask, reaching for the thick black
material hanging against the wall.
“Privacy curtains.” Autumn yanks on it and the curtain flies across the
track, around the bunkbed, closing us off from the others.
“Like a hospital.” I guess some privacy is better than none.
“Yeah. Sort of.” She giggles, tucking strands of cinnamon hair behind
her ear. She throws the curtain back, until we’re a part of the group again.
“The toilet’s there, and the showers are three buildings over, to the left.
Thank God, because at five in the morning, it’s a cold walk.” She shudders.
“At least they gave us robes.”
“Any guesses on what Autumn was hired for?” Lorraine asks.
“Wilderness guide?” I guess, and everyone laughs.
“Close. Concierge. Trust me, you don’t want me as a wilderness
guide. Everyone would get eaten.”
“Well, I for one am not leaving the confines of this beautiful property,
so no one’s gonna be eatin’ this southern girl,” Tillie purrs.
“Except maybe the big bad wolf,” Autumn mocks, and they all
explode with laughter. It must be an inside joke. Great. A few hours late and
I’m already an outsider.
Autumn reaches out to grab my arm. “Have you seen him yet?”
I frown, confused. “Who? The big bad wolf?”
She laughs. “Henry Wolf, the owner.”
Oh. I chuckle and shake my head.
Her eyes widen knowingly. “Just you wait. There isn’t a warm-
blooded female here who wouldn’t spread her legs for that man’s tongue.”
My cheeks flush. Not that I haven’t wondered what it would feel like
to have a man—Jed—go down on me. I don’t understand how I’ll ever
psych myself up to allowing it. I can’t even touch myself without knowing
that I’ll feel sinful once my climax has come and gone. I clear my throat.
“So the owner’s here?” I never bothered to read up on the Wolf family,
more interested in Alaska and the hotel itself.
“I saw him step out of his helicopter yesterday morning.”
“You think you saw him,” Rachel corrects.
“Oh, believe me, there’s no mistaking that man.” Autumn takes a
swig from her flask. “He spoke at my grad ceremony two years ago. I
guarantee you every woman’s panties were soaked through by the end of it.
Maybe a few men’s, too.”
Another round of laughter. I can feel my face turning red at the
crassness of their conversation. Not that I don’t think these things, or feel
these things. I’ve just been taught never to discuss them openly like this.
And my circle of friends at school doesn’t talk like that either.
But if I’m going to be living and working with these ladies for the
next few months, I probably should start getting used to this now.
I keep my hands busy and my eyes down as I unpack my backpack,
filling the two bottom drawers with clothes for both warm and cold
weather, while the girls discuss the owner.
“The exposé on him in Forbes says he made his first million when he
was sixteen, on some stock investment.”
“That’s a crock. He was already born a millionaire. His grandparents
owned an Alaskan gold mine.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t earn that. It was handed to him.”
“I heard this property was given to him.”
“And his brother.”
“No, apparently it was all willed to him! Can you imagine the family
feud over that?”
“It’s not like his brother hasn’t gotten enough. Well, maybe not yet.
Their dad is still alive so he still technically owns this hotel.”
“Do you know who he’s dating? That Victoria’s Secret model. What
is her name? The one on the cover of the holiday edition.”
“No. They broke up. She caught him in bed with two of her friends.”
“So that means he’s fair game.”
“I heard he’s super rigid and law-abiding, like his father. Honorable to
a fault.”
“No way. Word around the Wolf is that he’s an arrogant, controlling
prick who fucks women and then ditches them.”
“A guy like that must go through women like underwear.”
“I’ll gladly be his underwear.”
I listen to the back-and-forth chatter as I line my few basic toiletries
up on top of the dresser. I unwrap the picture I brought of Mama and Dad
and set it on the dresser, too. It’s my favorite one of them, back when they
were in high school, and she was trim enough that Dad could easily wrap
his arms around her waist. They got married as soon as she finished high
school, my mama graduating two years after my dad. I came along almost
nine months to the day after their wedding.
I leave the picture of Jed and me in the bottom of my duffel bag. The
one that I’ve thrown into the trash and then fished out at least a dozen
times, the pathetic, emotional part of me unable to let go. We’re sitting
back-to-back on a bale of hay during the parade at the festival last summer,
both smiling wide at the camera, happy as can be.
The only things I have left to put away are my bras, panties, and
socks. They’ll have to go in our shared drawer. I hope Autumn doesn’t
mind.
I slide open the drawer and stifle a gasp.
“I used a piece of cardboard to separate the space. You know, so we
don’t end up wearing each other’s panties,” Autumn says.
“Great. Thanks,” I force out, my face burning as I study the long
green dildo tucked into the side. When is she planning on using that? I
could never bring myself to buy one, let alone bring it into a cabin with five
other women!
I quickly empty the rest of my things out and slide the drawer shut, in
case she forgot to hide it.
“So, is everyone getting together in the staff lodge tonight?” Tillie
asks, watching herself in the mirror as she drags a scarlet lipstick over her
bottom lip. I tried red lipstick on once, while getting dressed for Halloween,
only to scrub it off minutes later. I looked like a clown. Tilly doesn’t,
though. She looks sultry.
“Yeah. May as well enjoy the fun now before they work us to the
bone.” Lorraine slides off her bunk and exchanges her magazine for a flask
from the top drawer. I guess I missed the flask memo.
“Oh, please. I heard the massage therapists work six-hour shifts,
max,” Tillie scolds.
Lorraine wiggles her hands in the air. “My precious hands need rest.”
“Those precious hands of yours better be giving my body a deep
tissue massage after a long day of answering rich people’s stupid
questions,” Autumn says, topping up her flask from a bottle of vodka. How
much has she had? Is she always this friendly, or is she drunk? “Hey, Abbi,
where’ll you be working?”
“I’m supposed to be doing Outdoor, but they put me in
Housekeeping.”
“Oh, that’s where I am! We can go to the training session tomorrow
morning together. Us redheads need to stick together.” Tillie’s obviously
happy about this. I hate to burst her bubble and tell her that I’m being
transferred as soon as Belinda sorts things out, so I keep quiet and simply
smile.
“That Outdoor crew is a bunch of male pervs, anyway. They all stood
behind the yoga team this morning and watched them walk through their
sessions,” Rachel warns, peeling her shirt off. Katie follows suit. “We’re
gonna grab a quick shower. We’ll meet you there, okay?”
“Sure thing. Hey, Abbi. You’re coming, right?” Autumn zips up her
vest.
I’m exhausted. I’ve barely slept in the last two weeks, thanks to finals
and nervousness over this trip. Fear of the unknown. Normally, I’d curl up
in bed with a good book and read until I drift off. I even loaded my e-reader
with about fifty novels to get me through four months of summer nights and
off-work hours.
They’re all drinking, obviously, and not bothering to hide it. Back at
college, people would have get-togethers, but they were tame and kept
undercover as compared to what I’ve heard happens on other campuses.
This is all new to me.
But I want to have fun. Plus, it’s the best way to keep my mind off
Jed and her in Greenbank.
“Sure. Yes.” They’re the kind of girls I never hung out with in school,
though sometimes I wondered what it’d be like, to be their friends; to be a
part of the “in crowd.”
“Great! The alcohol in the lodge is the only thing not subsidized, and
it’s super expensive, so you’ll want to bring your own,” Autumn warns,
adding, “Unless you’re made of money.”
I bite my tongue before I admit to them that I don’t drink. That I’ve
never been drunk before in my life.
“Here. We can share until you can get to Homer to stock up next
week.” Tillie thrusts her flask in my hand.
What if I refuse? Will I be buying myself a ticket to loser town with
them?
This feels like high school all over again.
“Hey, can you guys save us seats on that couch by the fire?” Rachel
asks. She hooks her thumbs under her panties and pulls them until they drop
to the ground. Both she and Katie stand front and center in the room, buck
naked, seemingly without a care in the world.
On our campus, girls changed before heading to the shared
bathrooms, and they covered themselves with towels.
Another thing I’m going to need to get used to.
I bring the flask to my mouth and take a big, wince-inducing gulp.
~ ~ ~ ~
“So, you’re an es... esthe...” I can’t get the name out, and I’m not sure if it’s
because of the word or the alcohol that Tillie’s been pumping into me.
“Esthetician. Yes.” Katie giggles, flipping her silky mane of blonde
hair over her shoulder. “I worked for the Hilton for a couple years, but I got
laid off last December. Wolf hired me on contract for this job. We’ll see
how things go. Maybe I can get transferred to a permanent location when
the season’s over. They have hotels all over the world.”
“What exactly does an esthetician do, again?” The closest place I’ve
been to a beauty salon is Sheila’s Clip ’N’ Color shop on Main Street, back
home. Sheila, my mama’s childhood friend, has been trimming my hair for
as long as I can remember.
“Anything related to beauty and grooming. That’s me. That’s what I
love.” All it takes is a once-over of her to see that. Perfectly shaped and
painted nails, glowing skin, shaped brows. “Facials, chemical peels, mani-
pedis, waxing, makeup application.”
“I’ve never had any of those things done,” I admit.
“Really?” Her blue eyes slide over my face. I don’t think she’s all that
surprised. “You should let me do your eyebrows. It takes, like, ten minutes.
Tops.”
“Does it hurt?” I glance around, suddenly embarrassed that someone
can hear this conversation. I don’t see that happening, though. The staff
lodge has come alive with laughter and music as compared to an hour ago
when I was cramming in dinner. A guy with a beanie sits by the fireplace,
strumming an acoustic guitar. If there was a piano here, I’d try to match his
notes. That’s one thing that I will miss about not being back home for the
summer: access to the piano in our family room. I’ve been playing since I
was six; mostly church hymns though. Sometimes, when Old Mollie
Simmons isn’t feeling well, Reverend Enderbey asks me to play at Sunday
service.
“Not really. Well, not your brows, anyway.” She laughs. “It’s so worth
it. Especially for the summer, when you don’t want to be worrying about
stubble under your arms or bikini line. I can do it all for you, if you want. I
do Rachel’s all the time, and she loves it.”
“But she’s bald down... there,” I blurt out, then blush because I’ve
basically admitted to checking her out earlier.
“It’s a good look, trust me. Just say the word and I’ll clean you right
up.” Katie winks. “And guys love it, too.”
Jed said he didn’t understand why a woman would want to make
herself look like a little girl. He thought he’d prefer some hair. I wonder if
he still prefers that.
Then again, I’m not doing anything for Jed anymore. Still... “I’d have
to be drunk.”
She clanks her glass with my bottle of water. “Well then, cheers to
that.”
“Hey, Abbi. I’m turnin’ in for the night. We have to be up in a few
hours.”
Few hours? “What time is it?” I squint at my watch; the hands are
blurry.
“It’s two. Training starts at nine, and if you don’t want to wait in line
for a shower, you need to get in there before seven.”
Shit. How am I even still up? Especially with the time-zone change.
“Okay. I’m coming.”
Katie squeezes my thigh affectionately, the simple touch making me
feel all the more comfortable in this group of strangers. “We’re not too far
behind you. Night.”
I stand. And take several stumbling steps into a tall guy.
He wraps his arms around my waist to steady me, but he doesn’t let
go. “Whoa there, little lady. You okay?” He sounds like he’s from down
south. He has that charming southern drawl, but it’s different from Tillie’s.
I tip my head back and peer into smiling emerald-green eyes. “Yup.
But thank you for saving me anyway.”
He grins at me. “You sure are a cute little thing.”
“I don’t want to be cute,” I grumble. “Cute gets left on the sides while
“hot” gets bent over the couch by my boyfriend because he can’t control
himself.”
That wasn’t meant to be spoken out loud.
“Whoa.” The guy holds his hands in the air, palms out. I peel myself
away from him and stumble to Tillie, my face burning, whispering, “I
blame you and your devil juice for this.”
“I’ve got your water. You’re gonna need it.” She hooks an arm
through mine and leads me out the doors and into the night.
“It’s warmer out here than it was before. How did it get warmer?”
Her chuckles float into the darkness as we make our way down the
path, lit with lampposts every twenty feet or so. “The magic of Jim Beam,
that’s how.”
“I love your accent. You know that? Like, I could kiss your accent if it
were an actual thing. It’s that hot. Isn’t it beautiful out here? I mean,” I let
my head tip back, “look at this sky. You don’t get this kind of sky just
anywhere.”
“I keep readin’ about those northern lights. I’m hopin’ to see them
before I leave.”
“Aurora Borealis,” I murmur, closing my eyes and smiling, letting her
lead me. That would be a sight.
Voices and laughter ahead catch my ear.
“Damn...,” Tillie murmurs appreciatively, and I follow her eyes to see
what has caught her attention. Three guys stroll out of the men’s shower
room, the white towels wrapped around their waists glowing in the dark.
Each one of them is broad and hard and rippled with muscles.
I’ve only ever had eyes for Jed. Since February, I’ve had eyes for no
one at all, uninterested in giving anyone a second’s thought. Maybe it’s the
distance or the foreign world up here, or maybe it’s the alcohol, but I am
appreciating this view. The alcohol is definitely giving me the confidence to
ogle them shamelessly.
“And that would be your Outdoor crew.” A few steps closer, Tillie
calls out with, “Good evenin’, gentlemen. It’s a little bit cold to be prancin’
’round half-naked, don’t you think?”
The one closest to her, a blond with a casual swagger in his step,
slows. “You offering to warm me up, Tillie?”
I guess they’ve already met.
“That’s what the robes in your cabin are for.” She flashes a
deceptively sweet grin back at him. It must be a southern thing, because all
the women from the south have that smile down pat.
He steps into her personal space—and, by default, mine, since our
arms are still linked—but she stands her ground. “But you’re so much
warmer.” His pretty blue eyes turn to settle on me. “And who’s this lovely
young lady?”
“This is Abbi from Pennsylvania.”
“She another roommate?”
“That’s right.”
Turning his gaze back to Tillie, his eyes settling on her perky chest,
he murmurs, “What I’d do to get into that cabin of yours.”
I can’t tell if he’s talking about literally coming to our cabin, or if he’s
being figurative, but I do know that either way, it involves sex.
“Like a fox in a hen house, right? Y’all have a good night, now.”
Tillie leads me around him and farther down the path.
I glance over my shoulder and see them still watching us. The blond
winks at me and I can’t keep the stupid grin from taking over my face.
“How do you know them?”
“I met Connor last night. He’s as smooth as freshly churned butter,
that one. Watch out for him, if they sort out your job situation. He’ll charm
the pants right off of you by lunch hour.”
“Maybe that’d be a good thing. Jed is taking his pants off for the
jezebel every day now and he wants me to cross my legs until he’s ready to
come back. Why should he get to have all the fun?”
“Jed? The ex-boyfriend?”
“Ex-fiancé.” I’m still numb to the earned title of “ex.” “He cheated on
me and broke my heart, but I’m supposed to wait for him to get her out of
his system. That’s why I’m in Alaska.” The knot that normally springs up in
my throat at the mention of Jed stays down and out of sight for once. That’s
a relief. Maybe this is the trick to getting over him. Alcohol and scantily
clad hunks.
“Ouch.” She gives my arms a squeeze. “Well, don’t you worry, hun.
There is plenty to choose from here to make you forget about Jed and the
jezebel.”
“Jed and the jezebel. That could be the title of a play or something.”
“I’d rather watch the ‘Abbi Gets Even with A Hot Dude’ play.”
I laugh. Tillie’s so sweet, and caring. I really like her. And I feel the
urge to wrap my arms around her and give her a giant hug, so I do.
Her melodic laugh carries through the night. “Oh, dear Lord. Maybe
not so much Jim Beam next time. You may regret it in the mornin’.”
“But it’ll have been worth it, because I had so much fun tonight.”
Mama clearly hasn’t ever drunk before, because if she knew how much fun
it is being drunk, she wouldn’t want to deprive me of it. I’ve become so
comfortable around the other Wolf staffers so quickly.
“Yeah, we’ll see. Make sure you finish that water before bed. And
maybe take some Advil.”
Cabin seven arrives too soon, and I’m feeling alive for the first time
in forever. “I’m going to hang out here for a few more minutes, enjoy the
fresh air. It’s helping me clear my head.”
“All right. But be quiet when you stumble in, you hear? Lorraine
went to bed already.” Tillie swipes her key card and disappears inside.
I want to go for a walk. The staff village is behind the lodge and
separated from the guest section by a thick cedar hedge and decorative
fencing. It’s a bit like a secret garden. I’d like to investigate it during the
daylight. Right now, though, I wander along the path, pocket flashlight in
hand in case I need it, my sneakers crunching beneath the gravel. Even in
the middle of the night, it’s beautiful. The paths are well lit, and there are
security cameras everywhere. I feel safe. I’m not normally so comfortable
with walking around alone at night. I’m sure once the hotel opens in a few
days, I won’t have the luxury of this absolute quiet.
A squirrel leaps from its branch and runs across the path in front of
me, giving me a moment’s pause. Do I have to worry about coming face-to-
face with a wild animal? No. Belinda mentioned the electric fences around
the perimeter.
I make my way past the hedge and over to the main guest area, eyeing
the honeycomb of balconies above me. Each will be alive with guests soon.
Apparently they all have hot tubs. I’ve never been in a hot tub before. These
ones are for guests only, though. As are both the indoor and outdoor pools,
and the hot springs. Basically it sounds like the only thing the staff is
allowed to swim in is the bay, at the small staff beach I haven’t yet seen.
I wonder how cold the water is. Is it warmer than the air?
I could dip my fingers in and check...
Before I can think it through, I turn down the path toward the docks
that I arrived on earlier, stumbling over a rock before I manage to regain my
footing. I’m drunk. I need to be more careful if I’m going near the water.
The dock at night is picturesque, marked at the edges with lanterns, as
well as several coach lights. Beyond that is nothing but darkness and stars.
My feet hit the cedar planks with a thump. “Shh!” I warn, and then
laugh, because no one’s out here and I’m talking to myself. Down the long
path I go, past the ferry, past a sizeable white boat, the waves lapping
quietly at its side to make a soft thumping sound, to the end, marked by a
tall rod with a light on the tip.
Dropping down to my knees, I lean forward, stretching my fingertips
outward.
My glasses slip off my nose and plummet into the deep waters.
“No!” I cry, stretching my arm far in my useless attempt to grab them.
A sudden pounding of feet behind me is the only warning I get before
hands seize my waist and yank me back and to my feet.
“What the hell are you doing?” an angry male voice exclaims.
“My glasses fell in!” I cry.
“Forget them. They’re gone.”
“I can’t forget them!” They’re my only pair and I can barely see ten
feet in front of me without them. Sure, I brought contacts because I wear
those while working outdoors, but I need my glasses.
“They’re gone,” he reiterates. “What on earth are you doing out here,
anyway?”
“I wanted to see how cold the water was.” His hands are still gripping
my waist as if afraid I’m still going to fall in. I try brushing them away but
they’re like vise grips.
“I promise you, it’s freezing. Though you almost took a nosedive in
and found out for yourself.”
I scowl. “You’re exaggerating.”
“I was watching you the entire time. I’m surprised you even made it
on two feet this far.”
I squint into the light to see exactly who is scolding me, but his back
is to the lamppost and his face is cast in shadow. All I can see is a dark mop
of hair and a beard. “Why are you lurking out here in the middle of the
night, anyway?”
“I wasn’t lurking,” he mutters. “I was enjoying a peaceful night on
my boat and I heard you stumbling up the dock.”
I frown, peering over at the boat in question, now even blurrier than
before. “I didn’t notice anyone there.”
“Not surprised. Come on. You need to go to bed.” His hand slides
around my lower back and prods me toward shore.
A rare defiant streak surges. I didn’t fly thousands of miles away from
my overbearing mama only to be scolded and ordered around by a stranger.
I jab his chest with my finger. “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not the
boss of me. The boss is the boss of me. And he can boss me.” I’m not sure
that made much sense.
“And who is he?” Amusement laces his tone.
“I don’t know. Some arrogant big bad wolf billionaire who sleeps
with Victoria’s Secret models and changes women like underwear. He
sounds like a complete jerk. But you’re not him. You’re...” I’m leaning
against his chest now. A broad, solid chest, his muscles hard against me. I
reach up with the hand I used to poke him to touch the few weeks’ worth of
growth covering his face, my fingertips scratching across the coarse hair. “A
lumberjack.”
“A lumberjack.”
“Yes. With this beard and this,” I rub my hand over his flannel
checkered jacket, sitting open, and then to the shirt beneath, reveling in the
ridges of his stomach. “Definitely a lumberjack. Did they hire lumberjacks
to cut wood for that giant fireplace in there? They’ve hired people for
everything else. I mean, seriously, who comes up to Alaska to get their
pubic area waxed and their hair colored? And yet there’s a full-service
salon!”
His hands have found my waist again. He takes several steps
backward, pulling me along with him.
But I dig my heels in. “I’m not going anywhere until I check the
water for my glasses! I have a flashlight!” I yell, earning his shush.
He heaves a sigh. “Will you let me take you back to your cabin
immediately after?”
“Once I do that, I will happily go to bed with you. Not with you. I’ll
go to bed. I’m not going to bed with a lumberjack.” My tongue feels thick
and slow as it trips over my rambling words.
“Fine. But I’m holding on to you the entire time. The owner doesn’t
need any of his employees drowning.”
“Deal.”
He leads me back to the edge and drops to his knees with me. “Sit
your ass right down or you’ll end up pulling us both in.”
“That’s no way to speak to a lady.”
He snorts. “It is when she’s as stubborn as a mule and as drunk as an
Irishman.”
Damp cold from the dock seeps through my jeans as I follow his
order. He has large, strong hands and they grip my slender middle tightly as
I lean down, shining the small beam of light from my pocket flashlight
against the murky waters below. His hand that’s closer to the water slides
up to rest underneath my breast. I briefly consider telling this burly
lumberjack that he’s touching me inappropriately, but a part of me doesn’t
care right now.
“I can’t see them.” The water level is much lower than I expected. I
can’t even skim the top with my fingertips. I would have fallen in, had he
not been there to grab me.
“No shit.” He hauls me up with seemingly no effort, the quick
movement making the world spin a bit. “Where are you staying?”
“Cabin...” My words trail away as I finally see his face for the first
time, bathed in a stream of light. Steely blue eyes stare down at me. Even
with heavy scruff covering his face, I can tell that his jaw is strong and
angular. And that mouth... I am utterly riveted to those plump lips. I can’t
help myself. I reach up and graze them with my fingertips, wisps of hair
around the outside edges tickling my skin. They’re as full and soft as they
look and they part for me slightly, enough that my fingertips get wet, and
warm breath skates across my skin.
My stomach bursts into butterflies as my own lips part.
I’ve heard people say that alcohol can change your perception, can
make you believe that someone is better looking than they are in the sober
light of day. I think they call it beer goggles. But I haven’t been drinking
beer and, besides, for my eyes to deceive me like this would be a cruel trick
by Satan himself.
I’ve never seen such a handsome man in real life.
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper, and then my face flushes when I realize
that I said that out loud. But it’s okay that I did, I tell myself. It’s true, and
he needs to know.
I gather my nerve and shift my attention from his mouth up to his
eyes to find his intense gaze weighing down on me, skating over my
features before resting on my mouth. He leans down, his lips reaching for
mine. My heart begins racing, anticipating the feel of them on me,
wondering if they’ll be firm or soft, demanding or yielding. How does a
man like this kiss?
I want to let go, to let this complete stranger do whatever he wants
with me.
He pulls back and gives his head a small shake. “Let’s get you home.
Which cabin are you in?”
“Seven.” I pause, peering up again, my eyes roaming that handsome
face. “Seriously, do you know how beautiful you are?”
“All right, let’s get you home fast.” He hooks an arm around the
backs of my knees, one around my shoulders and hoists me up into a
cradled position, earning my surprised yelp.
“I can walk!” Though, being in this man’s arms, with my arm
wrapped around this big, strong neck and my body pressed against this
chest, is so new and exciting.
“Slow and stumbling and blind, yeah. But I need to be rid of you
now.”
“Be rid of me? Am I that awful?”
His focus is locked on the path ahead of us. “You’re drunk and I
know exactly where this is heading. It can’t, that’s all. Don’t take it
personally.”
“And where exactly is this heading?” Was he seriously about to kiss
me? No, that’s not possible. A guy who looks like this doesn’t try to kiss a
girl like me, lumberjack or not.
His dark, low chuckle fills the night air. “I can’t tell if you’re playing
coy right now, or if you’re actually that clueless.” When I don’t answer, his
gaze flitters to meet mine for a second. “To places a girl like you shouldn’t
go tonight.”
I snort. “Great. You’re protecting my virtue, too, now? Did my mama
call you?” I stare at him as he walks on, ignoring me. “How old are you?”
“Thirty-one.”
Ten years older than me. Thirty-one and a face like that; I’ll bet he
has slept with lots of women. I’ll bet he’s experienced. I’ll bet he could
teach me all kinds of things with those fingers that are currently clutching
my body tightly. Things that Jed couldn’t, or didn’t want to. Thoughts of
Jed make my stomach tilt. I quickly push them away. “Do you have a
girlfriend?”
He seems to hesitate. “No.”
“Neither do I. A boyfriend, I mean. I had a boyfriend. Well, a fiancé,
actually. His name is Jed. We were going to get married next summer, but
he cheated on me with the jezebel.” The gravel crunches beneath the
lumberjack’s feet as I ramble on. “That’s what my mama calls those kind of
women—jezebels. I saw her. She’s beautiful and sexy, so I guess I know
why he’d leave me for her. Anyway, I’m supposed to wait for him to sow
his wild oats. He asked me to wait, said he’d come back. Our families are
so sure he’ll come back to me.”
“And you’ll take him back, won’t you.” His tone mocks me, as if he’s
both unsurprised and repulsed by the idea.
“No. I mean, I don’t think so.” I sigh. Who am I kidding? It’s the
reason I held on to that ring instead of casting it into the deep waters. “I
can’t help but hope that he’ll realize what a mistake he’s making and come
crawling back, begging for forgiveness.”
“And you’ll give it to him.” Again, not a question.
“No!” A moment later, I admit with a grumble, “Maybe.” Not because
I forgive him; not because he didn’t hurt me so badly. “He’s all I’ve ever
known. He’s been a part of my life for so long. We had everything planned
out. Now, I’m lost.”
Lumberjack doesn’t want to be listening to this; I can tell by the
steely look across his face. But I haven’t talked about it with an impartial
person before. My friends tell me that I should despise Jed, and everyone
back home tells me to bide my time.
Somehow dumping all this on a complete stranger feels therapeutic.
“I don’t want to be pathetic. I don’t want to be there for him if he
does come back. I want to be over him, moved on.” Sadness fills my chest.
“But it’s hard to get over someone you’ve loved since you were five years
old.”
Lumberjack doesn’t say a word. It’s annoying.
“How do I do that?”
He turns to meet my gaze, his mouth mere inches away in this
position, so close that his sigh skates across my skin. That’s the only answer
I get before he turns his focus back to the path.
Now that I’ve opened up to him, I can’t seem to stop. “That’s why I
came to Alaska. I wanted to get away from my life for a while, at least until
I have to go back to college. I don’t know what I’m going to do after. Jed
and I were going to move back home, get married, and take over the farm.
And have lots of sex. Sex, sex, and more sex. It’s all about sex with you
guys, isn’t it?”
He takes a deep breath and adjusts my body tighter into his arms.
“So now he’s busy parading the jezebel around my home town,
probably having all kinds of sex in our private spots, while I’m in Alaska.
He asked me not to be with anyone. Can you believe that? He’s screwing
around with this other girl and yet he asked me to wait for him, to save
myself for our wedding night. Can you believe that? Would you ever expect
your ex to wait around for you like that? I should just go and do it with
someone, so that if he does come back, I can scream, ‘too late! No virgin
wife for you.’ I don’t want to be a virgin anymore. I need to find someone
who will have sex with me here.”
Lumberjack’s footsteps falter and I squeeze his neck tightly, afraid
we’re going to fall in a heap. “You’re a—How old are you?”
“Twenty-one. I hate that part of me still loves him. We have so much
history. But then part of me...” I tip my head back to look at the vast
expanse of stars above. I know they’re somewhere up there, but I can’t see
them anymore.
He nudges my head with his shoulder. “No passing out on me.”
I pull my head up and lean it against his body, burrowing in until my
cold nose is pressed against his neck. I inhale deeply. “You smell good.
Expensive. Is that cologne, or aftershave, or soap, or—”
“Christ,” he hisses. “Do you normally talk this much?”
“No? I don’t think so. It must be the alcohol. I’ve never been drunk
before. It’s fun.”
Now he does chuckle, a low rumble that I feel deep inside my chest,
and farther down, into the pit of my belly. “You might not think that
tomorrow morning.”
Where was I? Oh, right... Jed. “A part of me hates his guts. We were
supposed to be each other’s firsts and then he went off and did it with
someone else, after all this time because he’s a guy and he’s too weak to
wait. If he’d asked me, if he told me he couldn’t wait, I would have done it.
Why wouldn’t he just ask me?”
When Lumberjack doesn’t answer, I press. “Do you not know how to
carry on a conversation?”
His stern face cracks with a smirk. “Is that what we’re doing?” He
looks down and when he doesn’t see me smiling back, his face smooths
over.
“I don’t understand.” A sudden unexpected wave of emotion hits me,
and before I know what’s going on, hot tears are streaming down my
cheeks. “Is it because I’m not pretty enough for him? He always said he
liked me like this, not like those other girls who plaster their faces with
makeup. But then he turns around and starts dating one of them! Maybe I
need to wear makeup?” I gaze at the lumberjack’s face, his eyes locked
straight ahead. “Do you think I need to wear makeup?”
His jaw tenses. “No.”
I wipe away my tears with my free hand. “Do you think I’m pretty? I
know I’m plain. I’ve just never been into all that girly stuff.”
Finally, his blue eyes shift from the path to meet mine, where they
rest for a long moment before sliding down to my lips and farther, to where
my breasts press against his chest. “He would have cheated on you whether
you fucked him or not. Be glad you didn’t.”
I don’t know if that brings me any comfort. I do know he didn’t
answer my question. “So, should I...” I stall over the word he used, unable
to bring myself to say it. “Should I be with someone else? Or should I
wait?”
His bottom lip disappears between his teeth, as if he’s holding back
his words.
“How do I get over him?” My voice is almost pleading.
“By spending the next four months fucking someone in every position
imaginable.”
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of it, more than once. But it was
always from a place of pain and rejection, a place I knew would drive me to
have regrets down the road. “I don’t want just ‘somebody.’” Right now, the
way my body’s responding to him, I want the lumberjack.
I trace the back of his neck with my fingertips. His arms are so strong,
his body is so tight, his face so striking. Every fiber of my body is in tune
with his, my skin prickling with the thought of these hands touching my
bare skin. What would it be like to be naked with someone so big and
masculine?
I twirl the little curly wisps of hair within my shaky but unusually
bold fingers. “Have you ever been with a virgin?”
He inhales with a light hiss. “Not for a long time.”
“Why not?”
“I prefer women over little girls.”
I swallow against the burn of that rebuff. He’s calling me a little girl.
“So inexperience bothers you?”
“It’s never appealed to me.” A wicked smirk touches his lips.
“Though you wouldn’t be inexperienced for long.”
A flush races through my entire body almost instantly, the heat
building between my legs at the way he talks, as if sex is a real possibility
between us. Pressing my lips together to try and hide my nervous grin, I
reach up to run my fingers through his beard again. What would that feel
like against my skin if he kissed me? I’ve never kissed a man with a beard.
I’ve never kissed anyone but Jed. “I’ll bet if you shaved your face, you’d be
even more beautiful.” His jaw tenses as I caress the edge of his jaw slowly,
imagining what he looks like beneath.
“Maybe I don’t want to be more beautiful.”
“You know what I mean, Lumberjack.” I rest my head against his
broad frame again, burrowing my face further into his thick neck because it
feels so nice and warm in there. I notice one of the buttons on his shirt has
popped open. I reach for it, intent on fixing it for him, and accidently tug
another one open in the process. “Oops. Sorry.” My fingertip skates across
hot exposed skin as I try to fix it one-handed. Oh my God. This guy’s chest.
I understand what “rock hard” means now. His skin is smooth, with a faint
line of hair trailing down the middle. “Are you staying here, in the village?”
“Sure.”
“Which cabin?”
“Why?”
“Because maybe I want to find you tomorrow?”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?”
A cocky grin flashes. “Because if you remember any part of tonight,
you’ll be avoiding me for the rest of the summer.”
I scowl into his neck. “You think you have me all figured out. What if
I just want to say hi?”
“I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
“Fine.” My lips have been skating across his skin while I talk. Now I
run my tongue along them, because it’s the closest I can get without
actually licking him. “You taste salty.”
A shaky breath escapes him and he speeds up.
Did I just turn on the lumberjack? Jed used to breathe like that when I
sucked on his earlobe. My ego sure could use the boost right now. “What if
I wanted to find you for other things?” Man, alcohol makes me brave.
There’s a long pause. “What other things?”
I let my cool nose brush back and forth against his neck. His neck
muscles strain with a hard swallow. “You know...”
“You can’t even say it, can you?”
“Not when I’m sober,” I admit. “But you’ve got drunk Abbi tonight,
which means you’re in luck.”
“Then say it,” he murmurs, his tone suddenly low and taunting.
We’ve entered the village now. I’ll be at my cabin soon, and my time
with the lumberjack and this uncharacteristic bravery will be over. Taking a
deep breath, I lift my head enough for my mouth to reach his ear. “Would
you fuck me if I asked you to?”
His chest rises against me and then he exhales. “Maybe.” His already
deep voice has grown husky and I feel that one word right between my legs.
“And what else?”
My giggles are laced with embarrassment. “There’s more? I don’t
know. I’ve never passed first base. I’ve never even had a guy touch me
down there.”
“Here we are. Cabin seven.”
Before I realize what’s happening, my feet are hitting the ground, and
I’ve lost the pleasing warmth of his body against me. I reach out and grab
fistfuls of his jacket, the ground unsteady.
“Where’s your key?” he whispers, seemingly in a rush.
“Back pocket.” I frown at the gravel. It’s moving.
His arms wrap around me, one settling on my lower back. Warm
fingers slide against my butt as he searches my right pocket.
“Wrong one.” I giggle, the wide grin on my face no doubt idiotic.
His hand quickly retreats and searches the other one, pulling out the
card.
“You touched my bum. You should at least tell me your name.”
He pauses, his eyes on the key and the door. With a sigh, he offers,
“It’s Henry.”
“Hmm... Henry.” I lean—okay, fall—against his chest and rope my
arms around his waist in a hug. Tipping my head back to see his striking
face illuminated under the cabin door light, I whisper, “So, about that thing
we were talking about.”
His jaw tenses but in his eyes, I’m sure I see amusement dance. A
gentle tug against my braid has my head dipping farther back. My lips part
as he leans down, preparing myself for a kiss. “Stop baiting me and go to
sleep.”
I give him my best pout, but truthfully I’m beginning to feel dizzy. I
need to lie down now. “Fine. Thank you for getting me home and not letting
me fall into that icy water. By the way, my name’s Abbi. Some people call
me Abigail, but I hate it. So, if I ever see you again, don’t call me that.”
His perfect mouth is right there, so close to me that I can smell mint
on his breath. And I want to taste it. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything
so bad in my life as I want to feel and taste his lips right now.
Before I lose my chance, I stretch up on my tiptoes and skate my lips
over his, the edge of his scruff tickling me. He exhales against my skin and
I close my eyes, shivering with the sensation. He hasn’t pulled away yet
though, and so I forge on, running my tongue over his lips once before
pressing my mouth against his, capturing his top lip between mine in a
hesitant, sweet kiss that I hope he’ll reciprocate.
He pulls back a touch, enough that his mouth is out of range, and
slides my card into the reader. The unlocking mechanism sounds and the
light flashes green. Pushing the door open for me, he prods me in to the
darkness. I’m brimming with disappointment and on the verge of tears over
the rebuff.
Just as I step across the threshold though, a strong hand palms the
front of my waist. He leans in, his cool nose skating across my ear, stealing
a tiny gasp from me. “Apparently some people call me the big bad wolf,” he
whispers. “But I kind of like it.”
I’m inside the cabin, the door’s shut, and my lumberjack is gone
before the words truly register.
“Oh my God!” I yelp, slapping myself in the forehead.
A round of growls and shushes sound out in the room.
