Chapter 27
Amie
was in my office and looked at the short list of potential members to takeI to the games. We could bring five and we needed a rounded team, ready to take on everything. There was a knock on the doorframe, my door usually was open when I was in my office. I looked up and saw Meadow and Martina. I smiled at them.
“Hello, if it isn’t the cutest wolf in the pack,” I said.
“Hi, it is, and she has her daughter with her as well,” Meadow said and we both laughed. “What is the birthday girl doing all hidden away?”
Meadow asked. “The rest of the pack is preparing your celebration.”
“I know. I just have a couple of more things to do,” I told her. For years, my birthday had been my least favourite day. It held memories I would rather forget. When I lived in the human world, I had done my best to avoid it. But since coming to the pack, I had started to celebrate it again. It was hard to avoid, as both Meadow and Matilda insisted, and Finlay had refused to help me tell them no. I had become better each year. But this year was tricky. We were a month away from the games and my nerves were on edge.
Meadow walked up to me and held Martina on one arm as she put a hand on my shoulder.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“No. I’m fine,” I told her. She raised an eyebrow and I had to giggle at how good she had become at the ‘mom-look’.
“Do I need to tell Finlay?” she asked.
“Okay, I’m mostly fine,” I corrected myself. “It’s just a lot at the moment with the games, and trying to prepare for meeting James and my brother again,” I confessed. Meadow sat down in my visitor’s chair.
“I can understand that. Is it just bad nerves?” she asked.
“No. Part of me is looking forward to the games. I think we have a good chance at doing really well. And I’m looking forward to meeting Elder. I just hope he isn’t too angry with me.”
“It will be fine,” Meadow said. “I’m a mother, I know these things,” she
added. I laughed.
“Thank you for cheering me up,” I said.
“You are welcome. You can pay me back by babysitting Martina next Saturday so me and my mate can have some alone time. I think the little monster has a built-in sensor for when we are starting to get things going.”
“Hey there! No need to tell me things. I would love to babysit. Just drop her off and the two of us will have a girls day,” I agreed.
“Thank you. Now I think you could use a walk and then you need to get ready. I’m not letting you miss your own birthday party. I’m sending Finlay to get you at six. At least I know he won’t let you stay at home.”
“Fine, fine. I will yield,” I said and put my things away, shut down my laptop and closed my office. “I’m taking a stroll by the creek, if you need me just mindlink,” I told her and caressed Martina over her head. I took the path Martin and I always used. I plopped down in our spot and let myself feel how much I missed him. I relaxed and listened to the water and enjoyed the summer sun. It did wonders and half an hour later I was ready to head back to the pack house to get ready. Meadow, Shelly and I had taken a shopping trip a couple of weeks ago. The two of them felt they needed new clothes after the pregnancy, and I joined them. I found a forest green summer dress I fell in love with. It was just what I needed for the party.
After a shower I put the dress on and for once I pinned my hair up. I was happy with the result as there was a nock on the door. I looked at my phone, six o’clock on the dot. I smiled as I opened the door.
“Hello, Alpha,” I said. Finlay smiled back at me.
“Happy birthday Amie, you look beautiful tonight,” he told me and held out a tiger lily.
“Thank you,” I said and took the flower. “One moment,” I said and walked into my room to find something to put the flower in. I placed it on the table by the window and could feel Finlay’s eyes on me as I moved
around. When I turned back to him, he was leaning against my door frame, looking sexier than anyone had the right to. I hoped he couldn’t hear how my heart skipped a beat and then set off at a rapid pace.
“And a birthday gift,” he said. From nowhere he pulled out a small box.
“Finlay, we don’t give each other gifts,” I objected. Everyone in our friend group had agreed on it. The only ones we gave gifts to were the children, well, the child.
“Uhu, that is why you got me my favourite pen on my birthday?” he asked.
“That was just something I happened to run into around your birthday,” I told him.
“Just open the gift, Red,” he told me. I walked over to him and took the
little box.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Traditionally, you thank someone when you have seen what the gift is,” he pointed out. I smiled and untied the ribbon and opened the lid. Inside was a thin gold chain with a gold pendant. The pendant was round and flat.
Engraved on it was a howling wolf with a mountain as a backdrop. Instead of a moon, there was a red stone set in the pendant.
“Finn, it’s beautiful. Thank you!” I told him and let my finger caress the pendant.
“I’m happy you like it. It’s your birthstone,” he told me.
“I love it. Will you help put it on?”
“Sure,” he said and stood up. I took the necklace out of the box and handed it to him. He placed it around my neck and fastened it. I put my hand over the pendant. “Ready to have some fun?” he asked.
“I am.” Together we walked downstairs and out. Thanks to the amazing weather, the party was to be held in the glade where we had most official parties and gatherings. I could hear the music and see the bonfire long before we arrived. As we arrived, Matilda saw us.
“The birthday girl is here!” she called out, and everybody cheered.
Matilda, Meadow and Shelly all came to hug me. Cadence ran up to me and gave me a wooden wolf he had made himself. It was a little crooked and lopsided, but it was cute and still looked like a wolf.
“How much food have you cooked?” I asked Matilda. She laughed at my comment.
“I’m anticipating we will be here all night, we will need food,” she told me. I had let my friends make my birthday party bigger than usual.
Everyone was tense about the upcoming games. They needed to have some fun and my birthday was just the distraction they needed. I talked to Sam while we filled our plates. As we stood eating and talking, pack members drifted by to congratulate me and praise Meadow and Matilda for the incredible party. Once everyone had taken their first round of food, Matilda tapped a lid, and the crowd instantly fell silent.
“Time for cake,” she announced. Everyone cheered again. Three of the kitchen staff came carrying an enormous cake. It made sense as it needed to be enough for the entire pack. But it was a throwback to my eighteenth birthday, and I fought against the memories. The cake was decorated as a large, blue mountain with trees and wolves spread all over it. It was an amazing cake. I focused on the differences to stay in the moment. The pack gathered around the cake as Matilda lit all the candles. They all sang Happy Birthday and I did my best to blow out all twenty-eight candles in one go.
There was another cheer as I succeeded and next thing the cake was being cut into portions. I got the first piece and I discovered it was red velvet cake with fresh raspberries and blueberries in the filling.
“Matilda, you are amazing. This is the best cake I have ever had,” I told her after the first taste. She smiled and blushed. The party continued. People talked, laughed, danced and some shifted to run in the woods. The food was amazing and I lost count on how many pieces of cake I had eaten. I had danced with Finlay, Sam and Jake and turned down three other men. It was well after midnight and I stepped away from the bonfire as I needed to cool down.
“Tired?” Finlay asked as he walked up to me.
“Mostly hot,” I said. “But I’m starting to reach my limit for partying. I’m getting old,” I said and laughed.
“Watch your tongue,” he said in a huff and then chuckled. I laughed even more as I knew he was two years older than me. “How about we steal a piece of cake each and head over to my place. We can sit on the porch and watch the creek while we eat it. It should cool you down before bed,” he suggested. It was too good of an offer to turn down. I did a little round to say good night to my friends while Finlay stole some cake. We met up at the path back to the pack house and he handed me a plate with a big piece of cake.
“I will have dreams about this cake,” I happily told him as we walked back. He just chuckled at me. Finlay and I sat down on the step leading from his porch to the garden. The heat of the day had given way to cooler air, the moon was a week from being full and the creek flowed at a steady pace. We didn’t talk as we ate. We were used to each other’s company and it was a comfortable silence.
“Have you had a good birthday?” he asked me as we both had finished
our cake.
“It has been amazing,” I told him.
“I was afraid it would trigger too many bad memories,” he said.
“It had its moments. But in the end, this birthday was much better and completely different.” He nodded.
“How do you feel about the games?” he asked.
“About the games or about what will happen when we won’t be playing?” I asked. He looked at me and smirked.
“The later,” he said.
“I don’t know. I’m nervous. I look forward to seeing my brother, but I’m scared he will be angry with me. With James… I just don’t know what to think. I don’t have feelings for him, those died a long time ago. And I think I mostly have forgiven him for what he did, it led me to end up here. But I’m afraid the bitterness will surface when I see him,” I told him honestly.
“Would you prefer to stay home?” he asked.
“No.” I didn’t need to think about it. Despite my mixed feelings, I knew I would never skip the event. My pack needed me. “How about you? I’m not the only one with complicated family matters,” I asked him. He grunted.
“I have dealt with them at the Alpha meetings. I’m predicting my brother will try to force a joining of the packs. Again.”
“At least we will have each other,” I told him. He gave me a smile.
“That is true.” We sat a moment longer, thinking about what we had talked about. I felt better after sharing my fears with Finlay. I always did.
“Ready for bed?” he asked. I nodded, and he stood up and reached his hands towards me. I took it and he helped me up. We stood on the porch in the moonlight and neither of us had let go. Our eyes met and after a couple of heartbeats during which none of us did anything, Finlay tugged lightly in my hand. The tug wasn’t hard enough to do anything. But I found myself walking towards him until our toes almost touched. Our hands were still connected and the air was filled with the tension which usually was under
the surface whenever we were close. Now it had been released and it was almost palatable. I don’t know who made the first move, or if we made it together. One moment we stood looking at each other, the next moment we were kissing like it was the only way to survive. Finlay’s free hand had moved to my cheek and he gently held my face as he kissed me. My free hand had landed on his waist, keeping me anchored with him. Finlay tugged on my lower lip and with a moan I opened my mouth to let his tongue inside. I had kissed other men, even if it was a long time ago, but nothing could have prepared me for this kiss. It set my body and soul on fire.
Everything I held back for six years came flooding out. Finlay responded with a flood of his own. His hand moved into my hair and he gripped a handful of it. It didn’t hurt, but it was a possessive gesture that had me moaning for the second time. As if my moan had unlocked something in him, Finlay locked his arms around me and picked me up. Next thing I knew, I was inside Finlay’s house, in the hallway he let me down and pressed me up against the wall. My hands had wrapped around his neck and one of my hands tangled in his blond hair and the other caressed over his shoulders. A growl escaped Finlay as he pulled my leg up to wrap around his waist. The skirt on the dress hiked up to expose the leg. Finlay’s strong hand rubbed all over my naked leg and all I could do was roll my hips against him. This was new territory for me. Finlay grunted and moved his hips with mine. It almost sent me over the edge. His lips left mine as he kissed down my neck. Both my hands grabbed his hair in desperation. His hands had landed on my ass and were pulling me towards him in pace with
me rolling my hips.
“Finlay,” I moaned.
“Amie,” he growled in response. I tried to ignore the voice in my head telling me I couldn’t do this. I could, I needed to do this, I told the voice.
“Finlay,” I whimpered. He froze as he heard the change in my voice. I hated myself. He tilted his head so his forehead rested on my shoulder. I could feel his heavy breaths against my skin and my hands were still tangled in his hair. “We can’t do this, Finn,” I told him in a whisper. I felt close to tears. He looked up at me and cupped my face with both his hands.
“Amie, I can’t ignore this thing between us any longer. It’s eating me up when I can’t act on the instinct to show you affection, take your hand, put my arm around you, kiss you. Every day I have these instincts, my wolf pushes me to stake my claim to you,” he told me. I caressed his face.
“I know. I feel it too.” I told him.
“Then why can’t we?”
“In four weeks we will go to the biggest meeting of wolves in the world.
The chance of you meeting your mate there is high,” I told him. For once I didn’t hide how the thought pained me.
“Amie,” he said, leaning his forehead against mine.
“No Finn. It is what it is.”
“I will reject her. I don’t want anyone else but you,” he told me. There was so much certainty in his voice.
“If you did it would break me,” I honestly said.
“Why?”
“Because it would be my fault someone would be rejected. How can I live with that?”
“Amie, love, it would be my decision. I love you and I can’t see myself loving anyone else this way.” His declaration of love had the first of my tears running over.
“I love you too. And it scares me how much. I’m terrified of what will happen when you meet your mate. If I give myself to you like I want to and I have to give you up.” I paused to collect myself. “I won’t be able to pick up the pieces of myself after. It will be so much worse then when I was rejected.”
“I would never do that to you,” he insisted. I smiled at him through my tears.
“I know you wouldn’t do it intentionally. But we both know that things happen when you meet your true mate. And if you do, I wouldn’t want to stand in your way.” Finlay kissed me. It wasn’t full of fire this time. It was soft and gentle.
“Please don’t cry, Red. You are breaking my heart,” he said, wiping away my tears and kissing the skin where they had been. “I’m not getting younger. If I want a family I can’t wait forever.” he said. I chuckled.
“The games are four weeks away, Finn. I don’t think your balls will shrivel up until then.” He smiled and kissed my forehead.
“Probably not,” he agreed.
“I will make you a deal,” I told him.
“Like the one that let me lure you to the pack?”
“Something like it. We will hold off on this and focus on preparing for the games. If you don’t find your mate during the games, we will revisit this
when we get back home,” I suggested. He looked at me.
“I have one condition,” he said.
“And what is that?” I asked.
“When we are alone, we don’t pretend this doesn't exist. I get to tell you I love you and I get to hold your hand and be close to you. As long as we don’t cross any lines. And I get to make sure to keep other males away when we are at the games,” he told me.
“I think that is more than one condition. But I will agree to it, as long as I can do the same, with the exception if you meet your mate,” I said. He smiled.
“I give you permission to chase my mate away as well,” he told me. He gave me a long kiss. “To keep me going for two months,” he said. It would be a long two months, I thought.
“I should go,” I told him. He didn’t move, but kept me caged against the
wall.
“Do you want to leave?” he asked.
“No. But I feel like it wouldn’t be fair of me to stay. I may be inexperienced with these things. But I don’t want to tease you,” I told him.
“Inexperienced… Amie, have you ever…?” his question remained half unfinished. I blushed.
“No. I was eighteen when I was rejected. Remember? After that, I lived with humans and then I met you,” I told him.
“Fuck. Maybe it was good that you stopped me. When we do this, it needs to be done right,” he told me. I giggled.
“I trust you on that,” I said.
“Stay. I don’t want you to leave. Not like this, not when we finally have got all of this out.” I looked at him and nodded. He stepped back and held out his hand. I took it and he led me to the couch. He sat down and pulled me into his lap. When he was sure I was comfortable, he put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back. I felt him relax. I snuggled up in his arms and enjoyed the closeness, his body heat and the scent of forest which always surrounded him. “Go to sleep, Red. We will deal with everything when the sun is up,” he told me.
“Good night, Finn. Thank you for a perfect birthday.”
“Anything for you, love.” He kissed my hair, and I felt at peace.
