Burn of the Everflame — Chapter 85

85

DIEM

eath was amazing.D Everything felt warm and cozy, like waking up in bed on a lazy morning or wrapping up in furs by the hearth after a long day out in the snow. The robe I arrived in must have been made with silken clouds for how blissfully soft it felt against my skin. My body had no wounds, my mind was free of its worries, and I’d never had such shiny, bouncy hair in my life—fitting, I supposed, since this wasn’t life at all.

I didn’t even mind that I was back on Coeurîle. All the fear I’d felt at the thought of the island had been replaced by a serene calm. The memories of the traumas I’d endured here were still there in my mind, but they no longer provoked the darkness they once had. All of my bad memories were like that—not erased, but disarmed, like a knife that had gone so dull, it would never cut again.

This island couldn’t hurt me anymore. Nothing could hurt me. I was finally safe.

All around, new people were arriving in droves, each of them staring up at the Everflame and wearing the same excited smile. An archway had opened at the base of its trunk, and though a curtain of Flames concealed whatever lay beyond, as each person walked through, I heard them shout the names of their loved ones in elated reunion.

I lifted the hem of my robe and ran toward it, grinning. Surely my brother would be waiting. Laughter bubbled up as I imagined all the fun we would have, teasing each other for eternity. My father, too—my hands itched to wrap him up in a hug and tell him how his memory had given me such strength in life. Though a part of me wished my mother was with us, it

didn’t make me sad. It reminded me of the nights the three of us spent around the kitchen table, cooking and laughing as we waited for her to arrive after her shift at the healers’ center. There was no need to miss her, because she was on her journey home.

I heard someone call my name from behind, and I turned to see nine figures standing in a line, their white hair and grey eyes so similar to mine.

One of them stepped forward, a petite woman with a kind smile. “Diem,” she called out again.

“Lumnos?” I asked, walking toward her. I looked around at the other Kindred. “I thought you couldn’t pass on to the afterlife.”

“We couldn’t,” Umbros said, “until you freed us.”

“When you destroyed the heartstone, it broke the Forging Spell that trapped us between life and death,” Sophos explained. “Now, we can finally move on.”

“That’s wonderful,” I exclaimed, surprised at my genuine happiness.

Though I hadn’t forgotten my grievances against them, resentment no longer held me captive. Judgment was the duty of the living. The only fate I wished on others now was peace to match my own.

I looked at the Everflame, then back at the Kindred with a curious frown. “Your afterlife is in the Undying Fire?”

Umbros gave a cryptic smirk. “Yes . . . and no.”

“We have our own gods,” Montios said, “but life and death connect us all in the end.”

“Even we don’t entirely understand it,” Lumnos admitted.

“But we will.” Sophos stared excitedly at the curtain of flames, angling his neck in an effort to peer through. “All knowledge will be open to us there. Every book ever written. The answers to every question ever asked.”

He beamed. “I can’t wait.”

My smile grew. “My brother will be overjoyed.”

“His life was cut too short,” Arboros said. “We would have given you both more time, if it was within our power to do so.”

“It’s alright,” I said, shrugging. “We’ll have all the time we want together now.”

“I’m sorry for what was asked of Luther, too,” Lumnos said. “I hope it brings you peace to know that his sacrifice, and yours, saved many lives.”

My heart gave a strange, lopsided thump. An emotion began to dampen my contentment, though I couldn’t quite put a name to it. It wasn’t sadness

or regret. It did bring me peace to know that we’d saved so many, and soon enough, eternity would be ours to share.

But the more I thought about Luther, the more I felt . . . incomplete.

Beside me, Ignios let out a choked cry and took off running toward the Everflame. I spun around to see her launch into the open arms of a tall, muscular man with long dark braids and copper skin.

“They’re here,” Montios whispered. She sucked in a breath as another man emerged from behind a cluster of roots with two other women at his side. Tears sprang to her eyes. She ran toward them, Faunos and Fortos fast behind. The three couples embraced in a flurry of kisses and smiles and

teary I love yous.

I gasped. “Those are their mates.”

Lumnos nodded. Her smile lifted higher as Meros and Arboros cried out, spotting their beloveds, too. “They’ve been waiting for us for a very long time.”

Sophos frantically paced back and forth, scouring the Everflame’s roots.

“Where is she? Why hasn’t she—what if—do you think—maybe she—”

Lumnos and Umbros exchanged an amused look. “Patience, brother,”

Umbros said. “She probably lost track of time in a very good book.”

Sophos closed his eyes and let out an inappropriate-sounding moan, though I couldn’t be sure if it was the prospect of his mate or the book that aroused him.

Lumnos cleared her throat, and Sophos’s eyes shot back open, settling instantly on a petite, cream-pale woman whose mousy bob bounced as she waved one arm. Beside her sauntered a goddess-like vixen who pointed at Umbros, then slowly hooked her finger.

Sophos gave a long, contented sigh, his nervous energy flooding away.

He spread his arms wide and ran past me. “Good luck, Daughter of the Forgotten,” he yelled over his shoulder.

Umbros slid his hands into his pockets, flashing his mate a provocative smile. She cocked her hip and winked, and he gave a deep, hearty laugh.

“Good luck, indeed,” he said as he walked past me. “You’ll never be forgotten to me.”

Lumnos took my hand as we watched the last of her siblings reunite with their long-lost mates. “Shouldn’t yours be here?” I asked her.

“Soon. He won’t want an audience. He’s always been a private man.”

She fell quiet, and the other eight Kindred led their mates to the opening in the Everflame’s trunk. One by one, they crossed through the curtain of Fire and disappeared. Though I felt true gladness for them, the weight on my heart continued to grow.

I should be with my mate, too, I thought. I don’t belong here without him.

I tried to shake the feeling off as Lumnos’s hand tightened in mine. Just as she’d guessed, once the last of her siblings passed over, a man came strolling around the Everflame’s side, the barest hint of a smile playing at his lips. His ebony hair was long and sleek, his features sharp, his ice-blue

eyes bright against rust-colored skin.

In my chest, something started to ache.

Lumnos kissed my cheek. “Goodbye, Diem. I’ve glimpsed the happiness that lies ahead for you. You deserve every moment that awaits.”

She walked toward the waiting man, who brightened like the sun as she approached. The love between them was so radiant, they practically glowed when she pressed her body to his. His hands brushed across her jaw, lips hovering over hers, chest rising as he breathed her in. I blushed at the intimacy of it and turned my back to offer them a private reunion.

My fingers rose to my lips. How long until they reunited with Luther’s?

How many centuries would pass before I felt his touch again?

Panic began to rise. I can’t do this, I thought. It’s wrong. All of this is wrong.

“I’ll be watching over you both,” Lumnos called out.

“Wait!” I yelled, running toward her, but she had already disappeared into the Flames. Everyone had—the new arrivals, the Kindred and their

mates.

I was alone.

I stared up at the Everflame. Rivers of light pulsed along the cracks in its bark, leading up to soaring branches alight with twirling, crackling Flames. Embers fell from their ends like glowing snowflakes, flaring with light as they touched the ground, then disappearing into the soil.

The sight of it restored a small measure of my peace. “‘Be not afraid, as shadows fade, all pain and woe shall be unmade,’” I said, reciting a line from the Rite of Endings to reassure myself. “There’s no sadness in the Undying Fire. Only joy. Nothing to be scared of.”

The Flames rose higher. That’s right, they seemed to say. All will be healed in the Fire.

I smiled, feeling sheepish at my hesitation. Of course this was where I was meant to be.

I stretched my hand toward the opening and tried to decide what I would do first once I crossed over. Maybe I’d go sailing with my father, or perhaps I’d try every chocolate ever made. I could hike through snowy mountains without ever getting cold or sail through the clouds like I’d been born with wings.

The Fire licked at my outstretched fingers, and my anticipation grew.

Maybe I’d go to faraway lands that I could never have visited in life. Meet people I’d never heard of, visit worlds entirely different than my own.

Heat enveloped my arm, drawing me closer.

I could do everything I’d ever dreamed of. Any adventure could be mine.

But Luther won’t be there to do them with me.

My arm jerked back.

I stopped. Frowned.

I reached again, leaning toward the Fire.

Wrong.

This is wrong.

I staggered back.

Three clicks of a tongue rattled off from my right, where a man leaned against the base of the Everflame. His head was bowed, his vibrant red hair hanging low and obscuring his face. His fingers wiggled back and forth as a single ember fluttered between them.

“Life for life,” he said in an amused, singsong tune. His voice was a

soothing baritone, oddly familiar.

“Do I know you?” I asked.

“We’ve met before.”

I frowned. Surely I would have remembered if I’d ever come across anyone among the living with the same distinctive hair as my mother.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is forgotten to your kind.” He tipped his head toward the opening. “If you want to know it, you’ll have to go through there.”

I looked back at the Flames. So many answers lay on the other side of them, so much happiness and love, and yet every time I told my legs to

carry me through, they stubbornly edged away.

But this was what I’d always wanted. Never again another war or heartbreak or death. People of all kinds, living in unity. Infinite joy, an eternity of discovery, all within my grasp.

Why couldn’t I make myself take it?

The man laughed. “You’re not broken, little flame.” He flattened his palm and the ember wobbled unsteadily above it. “You’re unbalanced.”

Unbalanced. That was exactly how I felt.

A little too heavy and a little too light.

Perfectly restored and fundamentally fractured.

So close, and yet so very, very far.

“Such interesting magic, these mating bonds,” the man said. “In the After, there should only be contentment, but a heart without its mate is never at ease. It complicates the crossing over. Even I cannot take what has become one and split it back into two.” The ember floated away from his hand, hovering between us. “Without your heartstone, that magic is unanchored from your world. I could rip it away and ensure that no heart is left unbalanced ever again. What do you think of that?”

I looked down at my mating mark, its once shimmering outline now dull and dark. Whoever this man was, he was right. I would never be content until Luther was back at my side.

In the land of the living, I knew Luther would feel the same. His years ahead would be full of joyful moments, Lily and Taran would ensure it, but without me to share them, his happiness would always be incomplete.

It was exactly what I’d always feared in life, giving so much of my heart away that I was never whole again on my own. What good was this magic if it brought such misery for us both?

But then I thought back on the moment I became his mate. I stood in this very spot and watched Sorae carry him away, dangling from Teller’s grip, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever see him again.

And still, I’d wanted it. Even believing we’d never get our happily ever after, thinking it would make me a stranded mate, knowing it might mean spending my eternity alone.

And if I had to wait here a thousand years before I felt true happiness again . . . even now, I wanted it still.

The man made a soft, knowing sound. “I asked your Kindred’s mates that question, too. Their hearts answered the same. Taking such powerful

magic from the world is its own kind of imbalance, I suppose.”

“They were bound by the mating magic?” I asked. “I thought it didn’t work on mortals.”

“It’s true that many years have passed since it last happened. The divide between your people was a burden few could overcome. And those you call mortals . . . they stopped believing that magic could flow in their veins.

They stopped wanting it to. Seeing power used only for evil makes it hard to believe it can also be used for good.”

I looked toward Lumnos. Toward my mate, and toward my people. My soul ached to go back and tell them what I’d learned. How different things might be if I could explain to the Descended that the Kindred had never wanted the cruelty done in their name. Maybe I could make them see that we were not as different as we’d been led to believe, and that even the traits that did divide us would not prevent us from uniting. Would the war be enough to show them how strong we could be when we fought for, not against, each other?

Though I trusted Luther to lead that charge without me, I couldn’t ignore the feeling that I had not yet finished the journey I set out to walk.

“Diem, you’re here!”

The curtain in the Everflame’s opening drew to the side, allowing me a glimpse inside the Fire, where my brother stood, waving his hand.

“You’re going to love it,” Teller called out. “There’s so much to do.

Nothing is forbidden, even for the mortals.” He beckoned for me to join him. “Come on, Father’s taking us all out on his boat.”

Over his shoulder, our father’s old fishing boat bobbed in a bright cerulean ocean. Alixe and Perthe sat inside, chattering excitedly. They caught sight of me and flashed matching smiles, then pressed their fists to their chests, dipping their chins—saluting me, even now.

Beside them, Andrei stood on the shoreline, eyes gleaming. “You’ve done me so proud, soldier. You fought just like I taught you.”

Hearing those words from my father was the most deeply needed balm on my soul. He looked so content—they all did. In life, each of them had carried the heavy burden of duty in different ways, but here, they seemed lighter, freer, unbound. I wanted so badly to join them and feel the same.

Perhaps I didn’t have to accomplish everything I’d hoped for. No one really could. If my life, and my death, inspired those who remained to

continue the fight, maybe that was my happiest ending. Leaving the world better off was what I’d wanted most to do.

“You can join your family, if you wish,” the red-haired man said. “Or, if you prefer . . .” He pointed a finger, and the twirling ember soared across the Everflame, casting light over its roots where people lay nestled, eyes closed and faces calm. “You may rest here until your mate arrives. Your loved ones in the After will not grieve the wait.”

Teller and Andrei gave reassuring nods, freeing me from guilt for my choice, but neither my heart nor my body could seem to pick its path.

Though I longed to reunite with my family, my legs would not carry me toward them no matter how hard I tried. It would be so easy to lie down and close my eyes until Luther arrived, and yet my soul was far too restless to sleep.

“Then again,” the man said, “your choices are two. Balance comes in threes.”

More voices rang out, sounding distant and too muddled to understand.

I glanced over my shoulder and gasped at the image before me: the palace of Lumnos, though it looked different than I remembered. The light and shadow magic that once adorned it had vanished, revealing the simple stone beneath. Several of its spires had toppled, and many of the exterior walls lay in crumbled piles. Crews of mortals and Descended were working together to rebuild them, and I smiled, spotting Taran among them. Eleanor and Zalaric stood nearby, gesturing at the palace in sweeping motions and talking with determination on their faces. My heart leapt as I spotted Luther in the gardens, walking beside my mother and a woman whose face was hidden as she gazed down at her belly, round and heavy with child. Luther and my mother were smiling at her, and it gave me immeasurable relief to see them both in good spirits.

“Life for life,” the red-haired man repeated beside me. “That’s how your curse began. I wonder, little flame, is that also how it ends?” The ember returned to his palm, circling up and down. “You brought my Fire back into your world. You restored the balance, just like I asked. Perhaps I owe you a

debt that a third choice can repay.”

“A third choice?” I asked.

His finger flicked forward, and the ember drifted toward the scene of Lumnos, stopping in the gardens. Luther froze mid-step, glancing toward the ember and clutching at his chest.

“A life,” the man said, resting his palm against the Everflame’s trunk, “for a life.”

I held my breath at what he seemed to be offering—a chance to return to the living. I looked back at Luther, an ecstatic yes already forming on my lips, when I saw the pregnant woman beam up at him.

“Lily,” I cried out, turning to Teller, whose grin spread from ear to ear.

“Our son,” he said, proudly puffing his chest.

“But it’s only been a few hours—”

“Time works differently in the After. To them, we’ve been gone for months. For us, the past and the future are as real as the present. I’ve already seen the life our son will have. He’s going to have my eyes and Lily’s heart. Mother’s stubbornness. Luther’s loyalty. His grandfathers’ beards.” He chuckled. “And his aunt’s habit of getting into trouble. He’ll grow into a fine man. A true Bellator.”

My heart wrenched in two. I looked at the red-haired man, mourning the choice I was about to make even though I knew it was the right one. “Send my brother back. Give Teller a chance to live instead of me.”

“He crossed over,” the man said. “His spark returned to the earth. It glows in another life now.”

“Then give him mine,” I begged. “Let him watch his son grow up. He and Lily—they can become mates. They can finally be happy.”

“I already watched my son grow up,” Teller said. “I was with him for every single day of his life. That was a gift I could never have had among the living. And Lily . . .” He smiled fondly. “I’ve seen her future, too. Lily will find her mate, and she will make Lily happier than I ever could.”

“Go back anyway,” I argued. “You were too young, Tel. You deserve more time.”

Teller sighed. “I didn’t make my own choices in life. I let Mother and Father and you and Remis and Alixe and everyone else tell me where I should go and what I should do. I never found my place. Now, I have.” He looked over at Father, then back at me, his features bright and entirely lacking the uncertainty that had plagued him in life. “Let me make this decision, D. I’m where I’m meant to be.”

“Let’s go, son,” Andrei called out. “The weather’s perfect, and the fish are biting.” He winked at me. “Your sister will join us when she’s ready.”

Teller gave me a final smirk, then turned and jogged toward Father, who slung an arm over his shoulder as they climbed inside the boat.

Not far away, standing along the water’s edge, another woman watched me without speaking. Her hair was long and black and wavy, and her skin was a rich, dark shade of olive-gold. Her arms were full of flowers, and though I didn’t recognize her face, there was such love in her warm brown eyes, my heart begin to swell.

The red-haired man held out his hand. “The choice is yours, little flame.

Will you join them, will you rest . . .”

The floating ember settled in the heart of his palm.

“ . . . or will you burn?”

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