Why Am I Only Interested in
Myself?
PHILOSOPHER: Well, let’s consider this concretely. For purposes of clarity, in place of “attachment to self” I will use the word “self-centered.” In your view, someone who is self-centered is what sort of person?
YOUTH: Hmm, I guess the rst thing that comes to mind is the kind of person who’s like a tyrant. Someone who’s domineering, has no qualms about being a nuisance to others, and thinks only about things that are to his own advantage.
He thinks that the world revolves around him, and he behaves like a dictator who rules by absolute authority and force. He’s the kind of person who creates an enormous amount of trouble for everyone around him. Someone who’s just like Shakespeare’s King Lear, a typical tyrant.
PHILOSOPHER: I see.
YOUTH: On the other hand, he wouldn’t necessarily be a tyrant—one might speak of the sort of person who disturbs the harmony of a group as self-centered, too. He’s someone who can’t operate in a group and prefers to act alone. He never stops to reect on his actions, even when he’s late for appointments or fails to keep his promises. In a word, he is an egotist.
PHILOSOPHER: To be sure, that is the kind of image that generally comes to mind when thinking of self-centered people. But there is another type that must be taken into account. People who are incapable of carrying out the separation of
tasks and who are obsessed with the desire for recognition are also extremely self- centered.
YOUTH: Why is that?
PHILOSOPHER: Consider the reality of the desire for recognition. How much do others pay attention to you, and what is their judgment of you? That is to say, how much do they satisfy your desire? People who are obsessed with such a desire for recognition will seem to be looking at other people, while they are actually looking only at themselves. They lack concern for others and are concerned solely with the “I.” Simply put, they are self-centered.
YOUTH: So would you say that people like me, who fear being judged by others, are self-centered, too? Even though I try so hard to be mindful of others and adjust myself to them?
PHILOSOPHER: Yes. In the sense that you are concerned solely with the “I,” you are self-centered. You want to be thought well of by others, and that is why you worry about the way they look at you. That is not concern for others. It is nothing but attachment to self.
YOUTH: But…
PHILOSOPHER: This is something I spoke of last time. The fact that there are people who do not think well of you is proof that you are living in freedom. You might have a sense of something about this that seems self-centered. But I think you have understood this from today’s discussion: A way of living in which one is constantly troubled by how one is seen by others is a self-centered lifestyle in which one’s sole concern is with the “I.”
YOUTH: Well, now, that is an astounding statement!
PHILOSOPHER: Not just you, but all people who are attached to the “I” are self- centered. And that is precisely why it is necessary to make the switch from “attachment to self” to “concern for others.”
YOUTH: Okay, so yes, it is true that I am always looking only at myself, that, I acknowledge. I’m constantly worried about how other people see me, but not about how I see them. If you are saying I am self-centered, there is nothing that I can say to refute that. But think about it like this: If my life were a feature-length movie, the protagonist would certainly be this “I,” wouldn’t it? Is pointing the camera at the protagonist really such a reprehensible thing?
