Desire for Recognition Makes
You Unfree
YOUTH: Look, I have been dissatised for ages. The adults of the world tell the young people, “Do something you like to do.” And they say it with smiles on their faces as if they might actually be understanding people, as if they were on the side of the young. But it’s all lip service, which comes out only because those young people are complete strangers to them, and the relationship is one that is completely without any kind of responsibility. Then parents and teachers tell us, “Get into that school,” or “Look for a stable occupation,” and this concrete and uninteresting instruction is not merely an intervention. It’s actually that they are trying to fulll their responsibilities. It’s precisely because we are closely connected to them and they are seriously concerned about our future that they can’t say irresponsible things like, “Do something you like.” I’m sure you’d put on that understanding face too, and say to me, “Please do something you like.”
But I won’t believe such a comment from another person! It’s an extremely irresponsible comment, as if one were just brushing a caterpillar o one’s shoulder. And if the world crushed that caterpillar, you would say, “It’s not my task,” and walk away nonchalantly. What separation of tasks, you monster!
PHILOSOPHER: Oh, goodness, you’re getting all bent out of shape. So what you are saying, in other words, is that you want someone to intervene to some extent? That you want another person to decide your path?
YOUTH: Sure, maybe I do! It’s like this: It’s not so dicult to judge what others expect of one, or what kind of role is being demanded of one. Living as one likes,
on the other hand, is extremely dicult. What does one want? What does one want to become, and what kind of life does one want to lead? One doesn’t always get such a concrete idea of things. It would be a grave mistake to think that everyone has clear-cut dreams and objectives. Don’t you know that?
PHILOSOPHER: Maybe it is easier to live in such a way as to satisfy other people’s expectations. Because one is entrusting one’s own life to them. For example, one runs along the tracks that one’s parents have laid out. Even if there are a lot of things one might object to, one will not lose one’s way as long as one stays on those rails. But if one is deciding one’s path oneself, it’s only natural that one will get lost at times. One comes up against the wall of “how one should live.”
YOUTH: That is why I am looking for recognition from others. You were talking about God earlier, and if we were still living in an era when God was something people believed in, I suppose that “God is watching” might serve as a criterion for self-discipline. If one were recognized by God, maybe one didn’t need recognition from others. But that era ended a long time ago. And, in that case, one has no choice but to discipline oneself on the basis that other people are watching. To aspire to be recognized by others and live an honest life. Other people’s eyes are my guide.
PHILOSOPHER: Does one choose recognition from others, or does one choose a path of freedom without recognition? It’s an important question—let’s think about it together. To live one’s life trying to gauge other people’s feelings and being worried about how they look at you. To live in such a way that others’ wishes are granted. There may indeed be signposts to guide you this way, but it is a very unfree way to live. Now, why are you choosing such an unfree way to live?
You are using the term “desire for recognition,” but what you are really saying is that you don’t want to be disliked by anyone.
YOUTH: Who does? There’s no one anywhere who’d go so far as to actually want to be disliked.
PHILOSOPHER: Exactly. It is true that there is no person who wishes to be disliked. But look at it this way: What should one do to not be disliked by anyone? There is only one answer: It is to constantly gauge other people’s feelings while swearing loyalty to all of them. If there are ten people, one must swear loyalty to all ten. When one does that, for the time being one will have succeeded in not being disliked by anyone. But at this point, there is a great contradiction looming. One swears loyalty to all ten people out of the single- minded desire to not be disliked. This is like a politician who has fallen into populism and begun to make impossible promises and accept responsibilities that are beyond him. Naturally, his lies will come to light before long. He will lose people’s trust and turn his own life into one of greater suering. And, of course, the stress of continual lying has all kinds of consequences. Please grasp this point. If one is living in a such a way as to satisfy other people’s expectations, and one is entrusting one’s own life to others, that is a way of living in which one is lying to oneself and continuing that lying to include the people around one.
YOUTH: So one should be egocentric and live however one pleases?
PHILOSOPHER: Separating one’s tasks is not an egocentric thing. Intervening in other people’s tasks is essentially an egocentric way of thinking, however. Parents force their children to study; they meddle in their life and marriage choices. That is nothing other than an egocentric way of thinking.
YOUTH: So the child can just ignore his parents’ intentions and live however he pleases?
PHILOSOPHER: There is no reason of any sort that one should not live one’s life as one pleases.
YOUTH: Ha-ha! Not only are you a nihilist, you’re an anarchist and a hedonist to boot. I’m past being astonished, and now I’m going to start laughing any moment.
PHILOSOPHER: An adult, who has chosen an unfree way to live, on seeing a young person living freely here and now in this moment, criticizes the youth as being hedonistic. Of course, this is a life-lie that comes out so that the adult can accept his own unfree life. An adult who has chosen real freedom himself will not make such comments and will instead cheer on the will to be free.
YOUTH: All right, so what you are maintaining is that freedom is the issue? Let’s get to the main point. You’ve been using the word “freedom” a lot, but what does freedom mean to you, anyway? How can we be free?
