14
DOOMSDAY
Olivia
I’M NOT ENTIRELY IN MY right mind.
It’s part alcohol, but mostly delirious, undeniable attraction to the man currently standing behind me, slack-jawed at the sight before him.
The sight is me, braless, asking him to take my dress o.
And in case he’s not certain of what I’m asking, I guide his hands to my hips, up to the dip of my waist. “Guess you can just slip it o then.”
Who am I? I don’t know. A girl who’s going to take life by the balls, I guess.
Or rather, Carter Beckett. I’m going to take Carter Beckett by the balls.
This feels like one of those ill-advised decisions Cara warned me about before walking out of here.
But the thing is… I want him. I like him, despite everything.
I guess I’ve decided the fallout is something I’m willing to deal with, because here I am in Carter’s bathroom, asking him to undress me.
Maybe it was his defeated expression when he talked about the lack of trust everyone has in him. Maybe it was him asking me to stay, promising me movies and breakfast. Maybe it was him sitting there next to me, absolutely riveted while I rambled on. He wasn’t Carter Beckett, egotistical hockey phenomenon and ladies’ man. He was just… Carter.
And I like him that way, when all the walls fall away. Maybe that made me feel special. Maybe it put some stock in his words. Maybe… maybe I trust him a little more than I did when I walked through the front door several hours ago.
I don’t know. The only thing I do know is I can’t ght this anymore. I’m tired.
He looms over me, ngertips digging into my waist like he’s nally holding something he’s always wanted. It’s a sight I want to remember, the way he can’t take his eyes o our reection; the way he breathes so deeply, like he can barely contain himself.
Beyond that, there’s an apprehension, a hesitation to take this step. So I tip my head back, ngers dancing up his neck, and he dips his face, smiling.
“Can I kiss you?” he whispers.
I nod, and his mouth descends. It’s tender and soft, teasing and tasting, lingering, and I want more. More of this, more of him. I sink my ngers into his waves, tugging him closer, and when his tongue laps at mine, he steals the whimper right from my throat.
His hand coasts up, over my breasts, wrapping gently around my throat to hold me there, my mouth his to explore.
He breaks away, drawing my gaze to his. It’s dark and heady, like I’m the only thing he’s capable of seeing, lulling me into a fake sense of security. I want him to have my body, and I want to pretend he knows how to keep all of it safe.
“Look at you.” He strokes my lower lip. “You’re so fucking small and delicate, I’m afraid I might break you.”
“I’m not made of glass, Carter. You don’t have to be gentle with me. In fact, I’d prefer if you weren’t.”
My ass is on the counter a second later, legs wrapped around his waist, my curls wrapped around his st as he pulls my head taut. His mouth hovers so close to mine that I can’t tell who each erratic breath belongs to as we breathe each other in.
Rough ngers scrape up my thigh, slipping below the hem of my dress, pushing it up until it pools around my hips. He wraps a hand around my bare waist, and my entire body trembles.
Carter’s heated gaze dips to the space between us, the damp spot in the center of my panties, and his throat bobs. He watches me closely, brushing his thumb over my clit as it cramps with need.
“Carter,” I whimper, and his mouth collides with mine.
He shifts against me, a slow grind that makes my head fall. His mouth slides up my throat, hot, wet kisses that have my hips lifting, desperate for friction. He gives it to me, hands sliding beneath me, kneading my ass, pulling me closer.
Gentle nips trail my jaw until his lips nd my ear. “If we do this, Olivia, there’s no going back.”
No going back from what? If we do this, it’s the beginning of something.
Something intimate and feral, and maybe something more, but more than likely, the beginning of the end.
A murmur of grief echoes in my chest, reminding me that this isn’t me, that I want so much more than eeting nights and good-byes. The steady, quick thud of my heart tells me to give up the ght just for tonight, to embrace it for what it is: one night of guaranteed passion with the man I can’t stop thinking about.
Tucked deep below all that is the part of me with very real fears and insecurities, the part that’s been comparing myself to the women wrapped around his arm in every picture.
But the chemistry between us buzzes like a live wire, making it impossible for me to think clearly right now. I know what I want, and what I want is this man —inside of me, all over me, taking, possessing, over and over.
So I tell him, “If you want me, you can have me.”
With one fell swoop, I’m on my feet, back pressed to his chest, my dress in the clawfoot tub in the corner, next to the immaculate glass shower. Rough hands grip my hips, his gaze raking over me like hot coals. Soft lips press tender kisses across my shoulder, down the slope of my spine as Carter hooks his thumbs into my panties and slowly lowers himself to his knees, taking the lace with him as he goes.
His warm mouth slides up the back of my thigh, and when one hand slips between my legs where my heartbeat has found itself, I squeeze my eyes shut and hold on to the edge of the counter for dear life.
“You’re nervous,” Carter murmurs.
Nervous, drunk on raw desire, terried of the generous helping of honest to goodness feelings that scare the shit out of me… All of it swirls inside me, grabbing hold of my heart, clenching it like a st.
“Fucking stunning.” The words are a wonderous whisper as his ngers glide through the wetness spread between my thighs from behind. He stands, kisses my neck, and holds my gaze. “Flawless.” He palms one breast, rolling my taut nipple. His teeth scrape my ear. “How wet are you?”
“Oh God.” The answer is drenched, and he knows it. “Touch me,” I beg.
“Please, Carter.”
“Look at me.” When I do, he drags his ngers through my slick slit before sinking one inside. “Fuck.” His mouth opens on my shoulder as I cry out his name. “Such a wet fucking pussy.”
His ngers wrap around my throat as he thrusts inside of me, an achingly slow plunge that has me pleading for more. Flames spark in my stomach, like I’m teetering on the edge of a volcanic eruption.
He adds another nger, lling me wonderfully, a steady drive that picks up speed, ferocity, until the heel of his palm slaps against my ass with each thrust.
His chest rumbles with approval as I take everything he gives me, including the words he forces down my throat when his mouth takes mine. “Good girl.”
Everything inside me comes to a rolling boil, spilling over as he releases my neck to work the tight bundle of nerves at the cleft of my thighs, smiling against my skin when his name explodes o my lips.
Without hesitation, he ings me over his shoulder, hand on my ass as he marches into the bedroom and tosses me onto the bed. He smiles when I giggle, arms sweeping over the bedding as I bury my head in the uy pillows.
“I never want to leave this bed.”
He tears his shirt overhead, steps out of his jeans, and crawls over me, kissing the corner of my mouth before I have time to admire how beautiful his body is.
“So don’t. Think I could keep you forever.”
I bury the feeling that fuels in my chest and burns in my belly way down deep inside me, because that’s a dangerous thing to think he might mean. I may be slightly intoxicated, but I’m 100 percent positive Carter Beckett is a man I could fall in love with.
I’m not a one-night stand girl; I’ve already said that. For me, sex comes after feelings. I might have failed to mention that I rarely catch feelings. It’s a blessing or a curse; I haven’t decided yet. I look for a real connection and those are hard
to come by. It also means that in my twenty-ve years I’ve only had sex with two men, quite the contrast from Carter’s list.
“Hey.” He guides my gaze to his. “Where’d you go? Kinda disappeared on me there.” Soft lips trace my jaw until he buries his face in my hair. “And why the fuck do you always smell so good? Like banana bread, freshly baked. I wanna devour you.”
Desire takes ight like butteries in my stomach, a heavy ache between my thighs.
“The only problem is I don’t know where to start. I wanna be everywhere, all at once. Like…” His ngertips dance over my breast, and he drags his thumb over my nipple. “Here.”
He dips his head, circling my nipple with his tongue, and if I wasn’t already dead, I am now.
“But I also wanna be…” His mouth coasts a slow, torturous path down my stomach, every bit of me shaking with anticipation. “Here.”
His mouth continues its leisurely path, sucking on my hip bone, staining my skin. He settles his face between my legs, alternating the wet slide of his tongue and the press of his lips as he glides up my thighs.
“And here,” he whispers, nishing at the juncture of my thighs.
“Fuck.” His breath crackles like the re outside, and I can’t breathe. “Here, Olivia? Here’s where I wanna be most.”
With one languid stroke, he licks me from bottom to top, and fuck fuck fuck, when he sucks my clit into his mouth, I can’t. I plow my ngers through his hair as he tosses my legs over his shoulders, buries his face between my legs, and does what he promised: fucking devours me.
The way he eats me is nothing short of ferocious, a meal when he hasn’t eaten in days, hot lashes of his tongue paired with searing kisses as I cling to him, grinding against his perfect face.
“Fuck,” I moan, back arching as he thrusts two ngers inside me. “Carter, I—
I… I can’t.”
“You can.”
He’s relentless, a savage intent on showing no mercy as he watches me climb higher, and when he throws me over the edge, I clap a hand across my mouth to
stie my cry.
Carter tears my hand away, pinning my wrists above my head as he looms over me. “Slap that hand back there again and I’ll tie both of them to the bedpost. I wanna hear you scream my name when you come with me inside you.
Got it?”
Oh shit. Yes. I nod, ve hundred times, and he grins.
“No sassy comebacks, Ol? Did I break you?”
I press my lips to his, whispering against them. “You haven’t broken me yet, but I’m hoping if I’m a good girl, you will soon.”
“Fuck.” He brackets my jaw, dark eyes xed on mine. “I wanna give you
whatever you want.”
“Wreck me, Carter.”
Our mouths collide in a frenzy, scraping teeth, sliding tongues, bruising touches. I shove him down to the mattress and straddle his hips, because I need a minute to properly admire the masterpiece that’s Carter Beckett. He’s broad and rm, solid, corded muscles moving lithely beneath golden skin. I trail the tip of my nger down the etched path in his torso, then further, through soft curls that disappear below the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmur.
“Me?” There’s something in his gaze, something obscure and yet so vulnerable, like he wants me to see it but doesn’t know how to show me. “You’re fucking immaculate, Ollie.”
My heart races, nerves squeezing my throat. If it weren’t for sheer desire to let go and feel the weight of his need for me, mixed with the drinks we’ve consumed that’s lowered both our inhibitions, I might hit pause. We need to talk, but when all I can see is his body below mine and that heady look in his eyes, I don’t remember how to communicate.
“Hey,” he whispers. “What’s wrong? You wanna stop, we’ll stop. I’ll snuggle the shit outta you and we can watch a movie. I’m cool with that.”
“I’ve only had sex with two people,” I blurt out. “I only sleep with people I care about.”
If he’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he cups my cheek, kisses me softly, and says, “I’m sorry I can’t say the same. But I can tell you honestly if I
only had sex with people I cared about, I’d be losing my virginity tonight at the age of twenty-seven.”
Surely that can’t be right. There’s no way I’m the only person he’s ever— “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Never, Ollie. I just want you to consider… consider giving me a shot. Consider me. That’s all I want, Ol. A chance with you.” A gentle kiss sweeps across my knuckles. “We can talk more about it in the morning.” He lifts me o him, pulling me against his chest as he settles us beneath the blankets, stung his face in the crook of my neck as he murmurs, “Banana bread.”
“Carter.” I’m so lost, which is not at all what I want to be when I’m this turned on. “What are you doing?”
“Snuggling you.” Clearly, and he’s doing it well. I’m surprised; pretty sure it’s his rst time. “I’ve never been a snuggler before.” There we go. “I think I’m fucking fantastic at it.” And hello, arrogance.
“You’re doing impressively well. But what are you doing?”
“… Stopping? Isn’t that… isn’t that what you want?”
“When did I ever ask you to stop?”
“You said… I… well, I guess you… didn’t.”
“You’re right. I didn’t.” I push him down and straddle his lap, rolling my hips over the cock that’s ghting so damn hard for freedom.
Carter’s mouth falls open, hands balling into sts at his sides before he grabs hold of my hips, stopping me. He shifts me, just enough to reveal that I’ve drenched his boxers. Dipping my hand between my thighs, I run two ngers through my pussy. They come away soaked, and when I slip them between my lips, it’s not me who moans, but Carter.
“You said you wanted to hear me scream your name when I come. Are you going to make me or not? If you’re not up for the challenge, I can take care of myself.”
Without warning, he ips me to my back, pinning me below his weight. His teeth graze my throat, up to my ear. “Mouthy girl. You wanna be wrecked, do you? I can make sure you don’t walk out of here if that’s what you really want.”
“Prove it.”
I’m on my hands and knees before I can comprehend how I got there, and Carter’s palm lands swiftly against my ass, a burst of pain and pleasure rushing through me, pooling between my legs.
“Fuck, this pussy.” He climbs o the bed and pulls me to the edge. I hear his underwear hit the ground, but all I feel is the plunge of his ngers as I gasp, clawing at the sheets. He pulls out, leaving a trail of wetness along my hip when he ips me to my back. All coherent thoughts promptly exit my brain at the sight of him standing there completely naked, sting his cock in his hand.
“Holy shit.” I’m not sure wrecked is the right word for what Carter’s going to do to me. Totally destroy, yes. Obliterate, I think so. He’s so smug, that self- assured grin growing as my eyes widen when he starts stalking toward me, thick, muscular thighs exing with each step.
I crawl backward when his knees hit the mattress, that thing dangling between his legs, dragging across the bedding. Aside from the wild beat of my heart, the only other thing I can hear is the slowness with which it slithers across the bed, alerting me to my impending doom.
“I—I…” For the love of God, what the hell am I trying to say? I give up on words, instead spreading my arms out, palms facing each other, before I make a tiny O with my pointer nger and thumb. I shake my head and shrug. “It’s not gonna t.”
Carter’s chuckle is way too ominous for my liking, and I’m still doing the crab walk. My hand slips and I start tumbling over the edge of the bed, legs in the air. He catches me before I can do any damage that might potentially and prematurely end this trip to heaven/hell that I’m so looking forward to, even though Carter’s packing a goddamn missile that’s going to blow my vagina to smithereens.
Taking hold of my ankles, he drags me beneath him, his cock brushing against my swollen clit. He drops his hips, a slow grind that steals the air from my lungs. With a stful of my hair, he brings my mouth to his, the hot lash of his tongue doing nothing to ease the apprehension his next promise brings.
“We’re gonna make it t.”
Pushing my legs wider, he runs his ngers up my soaked pussy, then coats his cock with my wetness. The sight is so lthy, so beautiful, I nearly miss his wicked
grin when he asks, “Any last words?”
I shake my head.
“Good. Hold on.”
His smile slips, a lust so dark, so feral clouding his eyes. When he slams inside me with a single punishing thrust, my entire world fades to black. My mouth opens and he swallows my scream before it can escape.
“Oh my God,” I cry, tearing into his shoulders, clinging to him as he lls me.
“Wait, Carter, please.”
His body stills, trembling, and he grips my throat like he’s afraid if he doesn’t hang on to something he won’t be able to control himself.
But he’s so big, so thick, so heavy, and every inch of me feels so tight, stretched beyond belief.
He drops his forehead to mine, chest heaving. “I’m sorry, Ollie.”
The pain wanes, a delirious fullness that spreads like ames, heat licking at my skin. I snag my lip between my teeth, moaning as I arch o the bed, taking him a little bit farther as I adjust to his size. My nails rake down his arms, eyes rolling to heaven, as his hips start rolling, a slow grind that coaxes every knot inside me loose, until everything starts unfurling.
His anxious gaze bounces between mine, seeking instruction, permission,
control. Control I’m willing to give.
“Fuck me, Carter. Please.”
A snarl rumbles deep in his chest as he drops me to the mattress and does exactly what I asked: fucks me.
His skin slaps against mine as he pistons inside me, so deep I swear I can feel him in my belly. His touch is rough, re that singes everywhere it touches, branding me as his. Each roll of his pelvis sends sparks through my clit, each plunge of his cock deeper and harder than the last, until I feel weightless. I’m nothing but bones and sheer pleasure burning through me from head to toe, lighting me aame from the inside out.
Carter’s ngers tangle in my curls, dig into my hip, keeping me in place as his body dominates mine.
“Fuck,” he growls against my neck. “Fucking love fucking you.” He slides a wet kiss across my mouth. “I want more, Ollie. I’m gonna take it.”
I don’t know what more I can give, but then he lifts my leg and throws it over his shoulder, grabs onto the headboard, and pummels into me with everything
he has.
“Pill,” he grunts out. “Are you on—”
“Yes.”
“Can I—”
“God, yes.”
A throaty, pleased hum rumbles as he drives faster, and I cry out his name, palms sliding over the knotted muscles on his back. There’s nowhere else to go, but when my hands nd his ass, I squeeze him closer anyway, begging for harder.
“Harder? Haven’t we covered this? I want to keep you, not break you.”
I shove him to the mattress and sink down his length before he can protest.
My head falls backward with a cry of unbridled pleasure, and Carter hisses, lifting me up and slamming me back down on his cock, over and over.
Leaning upwards, he takes my nipple into his mouth as I ride him, sucking, nipping, and I nearly yank his hair right out of his head. The look he gives me when he shifts back, brushing my clit, sends me straight o the deep end, and I come all over his cock.
“One more,” he growls, pulling me o him. He ips me onto my belly, pulls my head taut, and jerks my ass into the air before he thrusts back inside me.
“You’re gonna give me one more.”
One more? I can’t. I fall to the mattress, boneless and limp, but Carter hauls me back up, his whisper pressed to my ear.
“We’re done when I say we’re done.”
“Carter,” I whimper.
“Fucking love when you say my name.” His wet mouth glides up my neck, teeth grazing the shell of my ear. “Now scream it.”
He drives himself forward, once, twice, three more times, and when he hits that spot I can never seem to nd, every nerve ending sizzles and pops. I rip the sheet right o the bed and do what he asked: scream his name.
Carter explodes inside of me, and I swear I’ve never seen a sight more beautiful than this man coming, burying his cry against my slick neck.
He pulls out, tugging me into his side as he collapses to the mattress, and the empty feeling is so profound, I wonder if I’ll ever be that full again.
I place my palm over his chest, feeling the steady thrum of the heart below.
Carter covers my hand, and a startling warmth crawls up my chest to that vital
organ I’m meant to keep safe.
“Can I keep you?” he asks.
“Yes.” My heart skitters to a stop at the simple answer spoken without thought, and only when Carter tilts my chin and captures my mouth a kiss does it restart.
It’s in this moment that I realize how earth-shatteringly fucked I am.
