Chapter 58
o one questions what I saw. No one doubts that my mind, my visions, somehow took me to an army of Rottings. Not aloud, anyway. AndN part of me wishes they would. Maybe if they questioned my sanity, it would make me do the same. ‘Do we need to go back?’ Caz suggests. ‘You said it looked like the Sunken Temple. Should we be heading back there? Maybe that vision has the answer to … to … to …’ It’s as if the word is stuck in her throat. She lifts her hand to her neck, her eyes meeting mine as clarity dawns, followed almost immediately by an expression of horror.
William. That was what she was going to say. Maybe the vision has the answer to what’s happening with William. But apparently the vow doesn’t like to be broken. Thankfully so, since Kyor is standing only a couple of feet from her. ‘To controlling your powers,’ Benny finishes for her. ‘Right … yes, that’s what I was going to say.’ Caz nods her head vigorously. ‘To controlling your powers.’ Thankfully, Kyor doesn’t seem to notice, although I suspect Ruben, like Benny, is well aware of what she was about to say. ‘Maybe the Issen are behind the Rottings?’ Ruben tries, backing up Caz. ‘Maybe going back isn’t a bad idea.’ I’ve barely even contemplated the question when the pressure hits, this time accompanied by an icy burn on my middle finger. My eyes shoot down to my ring. ‘No,’ I say with a conviction that comes more from the item than myself.
‘We can’t have come this far just to turn back. The mountains are only a couple of days away. We find the Issen, just as we planned.’ Silence follows my words, but Kyor quickly breaks it. ‘You heard her,’ he says, moving towards Elska. ‘The weather’s going to get worse from here on out. We should make the most of these last few hours of daylight.’ No one objects again. We get moving.
‘I’M NOT the only one who can’t feel my toes, right?’ Benny asks as we trudge through the snow.
We have no idea exactly where we are, all having agreed that staying away from the front lines was the sensible thing to do. While there are undoubtedly routes to the Issen lands from the battlefields, there is also the distinct possibility of us getting killed trying to get through. In a mountain range the size of this one, it makes sense that there’s more than one place to pass through, and we’re hoping to find a ravine or valley so we don’t have to risk summiting one of the mountains – if we even reach the damn things.
The visibility has been decreasing with every passing hour, and for the last four hours we’ve been without the horses. Though they’re better equipped to handle the freezing temperatures than we are, the terrain means they would only slow us down. It feels like every ten minutes we’re switching between clambering upwards, scrambling on our hands and knees over sharp rocks, or wading through the snow, and we’ve not even reached the base of the mountain range.
After my slippage to the cavern of Rottings, we picked up our pace, yet we barely managed four hours of walking the day of my vision before we had to give up. Yesterday was little better as we held out leaving camp, hoping the weather would clear, only for it to get worse. And even though we’ve travelled since dawn this morning, progress is slower than I’d like.
From the occasional grunts and remarks from Fen, I’d say the wolves are struggling almost as much as we are, though I know there’s no chance of Fen admitting it. ‘And the tops of my ears, too,’ Benny continues to whine. ‘I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose them soon. You can still hear without the tops of your ears, right?’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll set up camp as soon as we find somewhere appropriate,’ Ruben replies. ‘I’ll get you warm then.’ ‘I think I might have to jump the queue on that one,’ Kyor replies. ‘Benny got more hugs last night than I did. And he’s not alone with the ear issue.’ ‘Is this a hug with you and Rose, or just you by yourself?’ Ruben replies. ‘Just checking as I’m open to either.’ A bolt of lightning flashes across the sky, but it’s barely a crackle compared to what Kyor’s capable of. ‘Okay, I get it, you want me to yourself.’ Ruben grins, and though Kyor rolls his eyes, I see the humour dancing there. ‘Any chance that the next friends you make could be slightly less dickish?’ Kyor asks. ‘Maybe, but I doubt it,’ I respond, grateful for the smile I feel tugging at my lips. Grateful for the way my friends are trying to make this feel like some fun adventure rather than the worst thing we’ve endured since the Retterheld.
Still, there’s no doubt I feel a sense of warmth that Kyor and Ruben’s relationship has shifted so much that they’re now joking and teasing.
For two days now, the temperatures have continued to plummet, and we still have no idea how far we have to go. It’s why we all value Ruben’s hugs more than ever. They’re hugs for survival now, not a frivolity, not a luxury. ‘The Hirathean Path ended almost half a day ago,’ Caz says, her mind on the same matter as mine as she scans the area around her as if she’s actually able to see anything other than white snow. ‘There has to be a route into the
Issen territory somewhere.’ ‘Yeah—’ ‘There is,’ Benny replies. ‘Over those damn mountains. You know, it’s unfair that the Gods made them so big. I keep feeling like any second we’re going to be right there, at the base, but nope, they’re still there, freaking miles away.’ I know exactly what he means. Every now and then, when the weather clears and the view becomes visible, we glimpse the looming range rising above us. The peaks above the mountains are lost in the clouds, but there has to be some way through it. ‘When we set up camp, we can look at the map,’ Caz says. ‘There has to be something on there. A clue. I copied it exactly. And the Issen get through into our territory, right? They can’t climb over the mountains every time,
surely. There has to be a pass through them.’ I’m sure she’s right. There has to be some sort of ravine or passage cutting through the range and taking us into Issen territory, but where the hell it is and whether we can find it before we freeze to death are other matters entirely. Not to mention, I was the one who finished the map, and as diligent as I was, there’s a good chance I missed something. After all, it wasn’t like I had much sleep the night before my experiment with cartography, not with what had happened with Kyor… ‘I can get everyone warm, too,’ Ruben says. ‘If you can give me a boost, Rose?’ It’s how we’ve survived since the weather and terrain got decidedly worse. His power has saved our lives, but I’m not ignorant of the fact that that’s not the only reason he’s doing it.
I saw his mother, there in the Rottings’ army, hovering in place between life and death, and no matter how much he tries to distract himself – either by helping us or flirting with Benny – I know it must be filling his mind. I can’t imagine how I would feel if it were a member of my family, so if he wants the distraction of helping people, then I’m all for it. Still, warming all six of us in temperatures like these is likely using more of his magic than he’s ever expended before, and the last thing he needs is to drain himself. But no matter how much pain he’s going through, Ruben’s got a good head on his shoulders. He wouldn’t let that happen.
There’s a small cave up ahead, Little Raven, Fen’s voice comes through in my mind. We can shelter there for the night.
Small will do, I think to myself. Less effort to keep the space warm, although less privacy, too.
Kyor and I seem to have reached an unspoken agreement not to talk about what happened the other night, but it’s safe to say that it wasn’t a one-off.
Not after Galreck. Not to mention how we’ve spent each night curled up next to one another, while Caz continues to comfort Thessa over the loss of Stide, and Benny and Ruben … well, I’m still not exactly sure what’s going on there, but there’s definitely something. Something far more than just the shared caring of Loch in his continually variable states.
The opportunity to discuss it hasn’t exactly presented itself, and if this cave Fen is talking about is as small as I’m thinking, then tonight’s not going to be the ideal time to raise it either.
Elska has found a husk of a hare, Fen’s voice comes through me again.
She is already going to hunt. I will join her after bringing you to the cave.
I’m glad he’s staying close, not least because it offers me the occasional opportunity to bury my hands into his fur and warm them just a fraction. ‘Fen found us a cave he’s going to lead us to while Elska hunts,’ I tell the others. ‘It isn’t too far away. Not even an hour, I don’t think.’ ‘Hunt?’ I can hear the question in Benny’s voice before he’s even finished. ‘Is there even anything to hunt here?’ ‘He says there are hares.’ ‘We’d better ration it,’ Ruben replies. ‘I’m sure it’s going to get harder to find things, even for the wolves.’ I don’t disagree, although my head is filled with thoughts of the Issen.
They have to eat, so there has to be food here. But maybe the terrain is different on the other side of the mountain range. Lower, warmer. Less sparse. Although the chance of them laying out a banquet for us upon arrival feels slim.
By the time we reach the cave, my eyes are stinging from the cold. While the first thing we want to do is light a fire, it’s not exactly easy with limited wood, and even that is damp with snow. We’re going to have to find something, though, so we can cook the hares and not freeze to death overnight. ‘You get the others warm,’ Caz says to Ruben. ‘Thessa and I will see what we can find to add to the fair bit of kindling we picked up before we left camp last night.’ ‘You did? That’s smart.’ So smart I wish I’d been sensible enough to think of it. I can see from the smile on Caz’s face that she appreciates the compliment, and I can’t help but think back to what she said in Galreck, about feeling like she was finding herself on the trip. She definitely is.
The cave is far larger than I expected from Fen’s comments. Certainly large enough to get a decent fire going, provided we have the wood, and for each of us to have a little bit of privacy, including the wolves.
Moving towards the entrance, I kick at the snow, flecks of green appearing beneath my feet. ‘There are some shrubs just here,’ I say with some excitement. ‘I can build them up once we’re all inside for the night. Make a wall. It should shield us from any wind or snow that comes.’ ‘Smart,’ Caz fires back at me, drawing a reciprocal smile. ‘Assuming it’s not too green. Might make us an easy target for any of the Issen.’
She’s right, and once again, I wish I’d thought of it, but it won’t take too much snow to offer us some camouflage, and with one of us on watch and the wolves alert, it should be all right. The snow mostly stopped by the time we got here, but I’m sure it’ll start again soon enough. ‘I’ll go find that wood,’ Caz says again, bringing me back to the moment. ‘I guess you should get in the queue for your hugs.’ I turn around to see what she’s talking about. Both Ruben and Kyor are standing at the back of the cave unbuttoning their shirts. Skin on skin has always been the best way for Ruben to transfer his heat to someone, the same way he did with me when I rescued Fen, but this is the first time I’ve seen Kyor accept one of Ruben’s hugs with his shirt off. That’s definitely something new. ‘Come on, be honest, you’ve dreamed about this too,’ Benny whispers in my ear as he sidles up beside me. I move to elbow him in the side, but he shifts away, his eyes meeting mine with rare seriousness. ‘So about Ruben …’ he says tentatively.
As I glance around, I see that Caz and Thessa are already gone. ‘You like him?’ I finish, trying to speed the conversation along. ‘Right, and I think he might like me too …’ I glance back at Ruben, who is now topless and wrapping his arms around Kyor. Yup, that’s definitely an image I didn’t expect to see on the trip, and it’s one that’s surprisingly difficult to draw my eyes away from. ‘Okay,’ I say, finally looking back at Benny. ‘So what’s the problem? If you’re worried about Ruben and me —’ ‘No, no, that’s not it,’ Benny says remarkably quickly. ‘I know how much he loved you and everything, but I think he started to let go of that idea when you entered the Retterheld. He knew you’d win, knew you’d go on to bigger, brighter things, and leave him behind. When you reconnected, it rekindled that hope a little, I think, but … it didn’t take much to snuff it out. He’s realised you and Kyor are meant to be. No, the issue isn’t with him. It’s with me.’ ‘With you?’ I question, ignoring the ‘meant to be’ comment.
With a slight sniff, Benny bites down on his bottom lip. ‘Okay, so I should probably admit I’ve never had a relationship before. Well, I’ve had “relationships”.’ He uses his fingers as air quotes. ‘I’ve had plenty of those.
Like loads and loads. Too many to even —’ ‘I get the idea,’ I cut across him.
‘Right.’ His feet shift slightly on the stone floor of the cave. ‘It’s just … he’s special, right?’ Warmth floods my cheeks as I turn back to Ruben, who is finally moving away from Kyor. ‘Yeah, he is.’ ‘And I don’t want to screw it up. And there are so many reasons it would be a disaster in the making. I mean, with my position, he and I … long term, it’s just —’ Facing Benny once more, I place my hands on his shoulders, stopping his rambling. ‘You know what? I don’t think it’s me you need to be telling this to,’ I say, glancing back at the other two.
This time, Ruben’s eyes flicker across to us. ‘Hey, so the precious princeling is all warmed up,’ he teases, voice warm. ‘Which one of you two is next?’ Rather than answering, Benny looks at me, something almost like fear in his eyes. I respond to it with the only thing I can: a smile, which remains on my face as I turn back and look at Ruben. ‘That’ll be Benny,’ I say, slapping my friend on the arm before whispering in his ear, ‘You’ve got this, buddy.’ With a glance at Kyor, I raise my voice. ‘Hey, Kyor, want to help me find some wood?’ I say as he strides across to me. ‘You too, Loch.’ While Loch, who was running his hands over the stone walls, immediately vacates the cave, no doubt having heard the conversation between Benny and me, a frown creases the prince’s face. ‘I thought the others had gone to do that,’ he questions. ‘Yes,’ I press the word pointedly. ‘But we could always do with more.’ ‘Really? I was going to —’ ‘Any time now would be great.’ I offer him my most withering glare before skirting my eyes across to Benny and Ruben. Finally getting it, Kyor gapes slightly before he clamps his jaw shut and moves to join me. ‘You know, I’ve only just got warm,’ he says as we head back out of the cave, Loch ambling in front of us. ‘And now you’re making me get cold again just so they can get some alone time?’ ‘That’s exactly what I’m doing,’ I respond.
As soon as we step outside, my eyes are drawn to the sky and the bright blue expanse that’s been revealed. ‘The weather changes so quickly here,’ I say aloud. ‘Yes, I don’t think the mountains have ever looked so clear.’
He’s right. Not only that, but we’re much closer to the base – and hopefully a passageway through – than I thought.
Any vague inclination I might have had to actually fetch wood is gone as I stare at the steep peaks. The sweeping lines cut through the cerulean sky, some sharper and angrier, others far softer, smoothed by snow and centuries of wind and rain. My eyes catch on one particular peak and I notice something: a slight shimmering of purple. The movement of it … it reminds me of something Stide taught me.
And that makes my heart pang all over again. ‘Kyor?’ I say, already moving closer towards the range, trying to get a different view – a clearer view. ‘Can you see that?’ ‘What is it?’ ‘The mountains.’ I point unnecessarily at the beasts that rise through the air. ‘Look at them.’ ‘It’s pretty hard not to. They fill the entire view.’ ‘No, look at them. Really look at them.’ I feel him frowning at me, but I don’t so much as glance in his direction. I can’t. All my attention is back on the slopes, at the same one I was staring at before, with the wide, sharp ledge. ‘There!’ I practically jump on the spot. ‘Did you see it?’
‘See what?’ Kyor asks. ‘The colour. It flickered. Changed.’ ‘It’s probably the sunlight?’ he suggests. ‘Or the snow drifting.’ ‘No, it wasn’t that. I promise. Please, look again. Pick a point and focus.
It’s not the sun. I know it’s not.’ I check above me just to be sure, but there’s not so much as a single cloud in the sky now, and the sun sits low. Whatever I saw, it wasn’t because of the light.
The silence is taut with anticipation, and all I can hear is my heart drumming in my chest as I stare once again at the peaks. This time the shimmer is even more pronounced, with flecks of gold and brown. I spin around and look at Kyor. ‘Did you see it that time?’ My voice is almost begging. ‘Tell me you saw it that time.’ ‘Words, words, but not what he wants to say.’ Loch is rambling beside me, but I try to block him out, looking only at Kyor as I repeat myself. ‘Tell me you saw it?’ I plead.
‘Uh … I … maybe … I’m not sure. What am I supposed to be seeing again?’ My frustration is close to boiling over.
I’m right – I know I am. I just wish he could see it too. ‘There,’ I say, pointing to a narrow ridge on the mountainside. ‘Just look there. Don’t take your eyes off it, no matter what. Okay? Don’t take your eyes off it until —’ ‘Rose!’ Caz’s voice cuts through the air, and I spin around, distracted and annoyed, desperate for Kyor to see what I’m sure I’ve spotted. As she races towards me, her face a mixture of excitement and fear, my heart lurches. ‘Rose, Thessa said she saw something. The mountain. The mountain, she said —’ I rush towards the Sanning, nearly breathless. ‘You saw it too? I’m not imagining it?’ ‘No.’ She shakes her head. ‘No, you are not, The Rose. I saw it too.’ ‘Saw what?’ Kyor questions, frustration bleeding into his voice. ‘What is it you saw?’ My eyes remain on Thessa a moment longer, needing her reassurance that what I saw wasn’t because of exhaustion. Not because of fading light or snowdrifts. It was because of what Stide taught me all those weeks ago. The Sanning who lost her life for us and yet may have just saved us once again.
With my heart tight with uncertainty and joy, I look back at Kyor, unable to stop the grin on my lips. ‘The mountain range,’ I tell him. ‘It’s an illusion. That’s our way through! It’s all an illusion.’
