Lydia Benton
I don’t know where to look. All around, people are shouting, sobbing, screaming so loud it makes my ears ring. A bolt of lightning strikes across the sky just as Lord Bexham trips into me, his hair suddenly returned, and vomits into the bushes.
Ivy is standing at the altar, collapsed in Emmett’s arms. I crane my head, searching for my parents, but turn to find Bram’s face inches from mine. He smiles, and it stretches across his face lazily until that single dimple pops out.
“Hi, darling. I’ve missed you.”
I try to run, but my heels sink into the grass, and as I stumble, Bram’s hand encircles my wrist in his and he yanks me back. “I’m not losing you again.”
“Please—” My voice shakes. “I won’t tell her.”
He drags me behind the row of hedges that circle the sunken garden and wraps his hands around my waist, so tight I can’t move. “No, don’t say that.”
He sighs against my hair. “Say you missed me too.”
And I hate him for it, but I hate me more. I remember the dreams I’ve had for the last five months, the ones where I’d wake up, my cheeks wet with tears, feeling as if I was forgetting something desperately important. I missed him even when I didn’t know he was the one I was missing.
He kisses me hard enough to knock me back to my senses. I shove him by the shoulders, but he’s so much bigger than I am. It only makes him angrier.
He grabs me by the hair to kiss me harder, so I kick him in the groin. He stumbles back a few feet, his beautiful face screwed up in fury. “I didn’t want it to be like this, Lydia.”
“You just married my sister.” Ivy. Oh no.
For my whole life, before I left the house, my mother would kiss my head and say the same thing: Look out for your sister.
I can’t fail at the only real job I’ve ever had.
There’s a flash of Ivy’s white wedding gown somewhere in the chaos.
Emmett is beside her, scanning the crowd, a head above everyone else. I
wave my arms above my head to get his attention, but Bram wraps me in a bear hug from behind and pins them to my side.
“We have to go now, my love,” he whispers.
“No,” I growl, and dig my heels into the soft earth.
“But everyone is so excited to see you.”
I struggle against him, cursing the small part of me that’s grateful to be in his arms again. “Just let me speak with her first.”
His beautiful face crumples. “I thought you loved me.”ng, sobbing, “I do.” That’s the worst part.kes across the He looks so sad, the golden circlet on his hair reflecting the final rays ofd, and vomits sunshine. “I thought if you loved me, you would obey me.”
There’s nothing I can say, just pure animal struggle as I elbow him in theane my head, ribs.om mine. He “You never make things easy.” He pulls a sword from the scabbard at hisple pops out. side and brings the bejeweled hilt down hard on my temple.
There’s a ringing in my ears and the taste of metal in my mouth. Ivy. Mymble, Bram’s arms reach for her, but I’m too far away.ot losing you And then I’m gone.
I don’t need to open my eyes to know where I am when I awake. It always smelled like crushed rose petals here. It was one of my favorite thingsn garden and about the palace when I first arrived, but now the scent hits the back of myn’t say that.” throat, sticky-sweet, and I vomit all over the floor.
My bedroom is covered with a thick layer of dust, like he hasn’t letams I’ve had anyone enter since the night I left. I swipe my finger along the bedside table,eks wet with through the grime that covers all my things, exactly as I left them. The silverant. I missed comb, a blue hair ribbon, the vase of flowers he enchanted so they would never wilt. Even my painting supplies are still here; my easel sits by theshove him by diamond-pane window, a landscape half finished.him angrier.
There’s a bracelet of finger-shaped bruises around my wrist where Bramhe groin. He gripped me at the wedding.I didn’t want I’m woozy with pain, but force myself up and off the four-poster bed.
I’ve got to get back, to warn her.
The door to the bedroom is locked, so Bram’s learned at least one lesson.kiss my head I pull the handle so hard the door shakes, and from the outside, a lock snicks, then another, then the whole doorframe glows as an enchantment is undone.
Eloree steps inside. My former lady’s maid looks the same as she did thein the chaos. day I left, with slightly pink skin, golden hair that reaches to the floor, and aryone else. I
wraps me in adress crafted from fabric that shimmers like the sunset on a pond.
She bursts into tears at the sight of me. “My lady, I feared I’d never see you again.” I calculate quickly in my head. The first time, I was gone for two weeks in the human world, but it felt like four months here.
“How long have I been gone?”
She pulls me into her arms. “Not long.” She counts on her eerily longteful to be in fingers, a puzzled look on her face. “Two years perhaps?”
“Where is he?” I ask.
“His Majesty is gone, but he asked me to keep you safe.” Keep me locked
up, she means.final rays of “When will he return?”
“No one can be sure these days.”ow him in the She carries in a tray from the hallway, laden with waxy technicolor fruits, pastries dripping in half-melted icing, and a tankard of fizzy wine. My mouthat his waters, but I can’t bring myself to touch it. I’ve hungered for the food from the Otherworld for months, craving something I couldn’t name. I’d sneakMy down to the kitchens in the middle of the night and eat everything in sight, shoveling raw sugar by the handful into my mouth. Nothing would sate me. I know why now.n I awake. It “Would you like me to stay?” Eloree asks.avorite things “No, I need my rest.”e back of my She nods. “I’ll come later to dress you for the feast.”
The door latches behind her and glows once more. I don’t bother tryinghe hasn’t let the lock, but I race to the window and find it stuck too.bedside table, I find the heaviest object I can, the fire poker, and swing it again andm. The silver again against the glass until sweat is running down my back and I’m out ofo they would
breath.by the He’s enchanted this too.
I collapse in a heap on the floor and bang my head against the stone wallwhere Bram of the tower, cursing myself.
Faerie tales all have the same lesson, really: don’t go searching in ther-poster bed. dark. But I’d never listened quite as closely as my sister.
When it came time to make my bargain, I panicked. I saw so many girlsst one lesson. my age missing toes or memories, all to ensnare some husband they didn’ta lock snicks, even like.
It was a foregone conclusion that I was to marry Percival Chapwick, andas she did the Mama never let an opportunity pass to remind me of it.e floor, and a
And for a long time it was fine, really it was. But all of a sudden it wasn’t I’d never seejust some far-off thing. I was nearly eighteen, and it was going to actually gone for twohappen. I was going to have to leave the home I’d known all my life, my family, and go live in a house with a boy I barely knew.
He lived just down the road. One month before I was supposed to make r eerily longmy bargain, I climbed the garden trellis into his room. He was surprised to find me crawling through his window, and he tried to kiss me, like that’s all it was. I pushed him away, which he took like a gentleman. “I want to talk,” I
ep me lockedsaid.
“About what?” He was puzzled.
“Anything.”
He couldn’t manage it. It was stilted and awkward, and I couldn’t bear it nicolor fruits,more than a few minutes before I climbed out the window again. e. My mouthWhen I thought of living a life boarded up in a house with a man I he food fromcouldn’t have a conversation with, I felt like I was going to die. me. I’d sneakThe day of the Pact Parade, my mouth was saying the words before I even in sight,knew what I meant. I begged Queen Mor to let me experience something uld sate me. Icompletely new. The mind-numbing existence of my life was going to crush me.
Queen Mor laughed. She told me that she would give me what I wished, but I would never be able to speak of it. I didn’t realize that meant I wouldn’t remember it. She tricked me. If I were clever, like Ivy, I would have seen it bother tryingcoming.
The Others have to honor the law but not the spirit of the bargain. It’s part it again andof the fun for them. I know that now. nd I’m out ofThe queen certainly had her fun with me. For two years I bore the shame of having made a bad bargain, one I couldn’t remember. I was supposed to be my family’s shining hope, our way out of rapidly approaching poverty, but in he stone wallthe end, I went and made the exact same mistakes as my parents. Isn’t that always the way? rching in theI had a gut feeling that I shouldn’t accept any courtships, that something else was waiting for me. It wasn’t until this winter that Queen Mor finally o many girlsheld up her end of the bargain. d they didn’tI awoke in the middle of the night with the strangest sensation, like there was a ribbon tied around my rib cage and someone was on the other end, hapwick, andtugging. I followed the feeling outside and down the street. My feet carried me like I was in a dream all the way to Kensington Park. There I found a
den it wasn’tpeculiar tree, shimmering like a fallen star. I laid my hands upon it and g to actuallysuddenly I was somewhere else. my life, myIt was daytime there, that was the first thing I noticed. The grass was softer and a slightly different shade of green than the grass in England. The osed to maketrees had leaves that were shaped like stars, the flowers smelled of baking surprised tobread, and up on a hill was a castle. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen back ke that’s all ithome, too tall, too sharp, constructed from something like opal that ant to talk,” Ishimmered in the sunlight. I wandered for a while until two palace guards found me. I was so tired and hungry, I thought I imagined the double rows of sharp teeth in their horses’ mouths.
They took me to the castle, where I found a revel raging. There were uldn’t bear ittowers of strange food. The sun was blazing outside, but inside, someone had enchanted the ceiling to look like the inky-black Milky Way. with a man IThere were hundreds of Others, twirling in gowns that floated like spider’s silk, playing fiddles encrusted with gems, kissing wildly up against before I eventhe walls of the ballroom. somethingI nearly hit the marble floor with my knees in gratitude. In that moment, I oing to crushknew that the queen had finally kept her end of the deal. For the first time since I was a child, I was excited. I wished Ivy was there with me. It was wished,everything we’d ever dreamed of. nt I wouldn’tAnd there, in the middle of it all, was Bram. have seen itHe was seated in a magnificent golden throne on a dais, overseeing the whole party. His black doublet hung half-open, embroidered with stars that gain. It’s partmatched the ceiling. His crown was made of twisted silver, like the branches of a tree, that matched the single earring trailing down to his shoulder. He re the shamehad one leg crossed over his knee, and his head was resting in his hand like upposed to behe was bored. I remember thinking, How could anyone be bored of this? overty, but inThe crowd parted as the guards brought me to him. nts. Isn’t thatHe smiled in that way only Bram can smile, the kind that lights up his whole face, and he said, “Please don’t be afraid. You are very welcome at somethinghere.” n Mor finallyI should have told him I wanted to go home, that would have been the responsible thing to do, but I wanted to stay. I danced at the revel until my on, like therefeet bled, leaving the marble floor slippery. I’d stick out my hand, and my he other end,cup was filled. When I grew tired of dancing, I collapsed at the banquet table y feet carriedand a plate appeared in front of me, piled with candied fruits and sweets I ere I found acouldn’t begin to describe. It was better than anything I’d ever let myself
upon it andhope for. I didn’t think of home once.
Bram had a room prepared for me in the castle, decorated in my favorite he grass wascolors. His staff brought me a trousseau of dresses in the court fashion and England. Thebraided flowers into my hair. ed of bakingIt was a few weeks before the melancholy struck. It began with dreams of ver seen backmy sister. The longer I was in the Otherworld, the hazier my life back in ke opal thatLondon felt, like it was something that happened to someone else. I should palace guardshave recognized Bram, I should have mourned my family, but every time the ouble rows ofmemories felt within reach, they’d float away again, just past my grasp.
As we spent more time together, Bram noticed my vague, unplaceable There weresadness. At first it was during simple afternoon activities. We rode horses someone hadaround the palace grounds and picked fruit from the orchards.
Bram had only one rule. After that first night, I was never again allowed floated liketo attend his court revels. He insisted they weren’t safe for me. But I craved ly up againstthe joy of dancing, and I was lonely. Bram would disappear, sometimes for days at a time, and I thought he was below, merrymaking without me. hat moment, I“I want you to be happy here. This place can be your home if you let it,” the first timehe said as he wiped tears from my cheek. Every day, cakes showed up in my h me. It wasroom that tasted exactly of Mr. Froburg’s birthday cake recipe. The same sterling silver brush set from my room back home appeared on my vanity. He brought me paints and charcoals and pastels. I painted well into the night as verseeing themusic drifted up from the revels below. At dawn, Bram would climb into bed with stars thatbeside me and stroke my hair as I cried. the branchesHe didn’t love the way I imagined love would be. He held me like he shoulder. Hewanted to consume me. At the time, I thought that made it even better. his hand likeI wasn’t surprised when he asked me to marry him. He slipped a moonstone ring on my third finger one night under the strange double moons of the Otherworld and asked me to be his bride. I threw myself into his arms lights up hisand kissed him so hard my lips were bruised the next morning. He pulled ery welcomeback, smiling. “You forgot to say yes.”
We held banquets and went on picnics, and he even had a chair brought ave been theinto the throne room for me so I could sit at his side while he did his official evel until mywork. One day, while we were having lunch in the gardens, he placed a and, and mycrown of daisies atop my head and told me I was the queen of the banquet tableOtherworld. I just looked at him, bowled over by his beauty. “Don’t we need and sweets Isomething more official?” er let myself“I’m the king—what could be more official than that?”
But it wasn’t enough for me. I grew ruinously sad and unbearably clingy n my favoritein the lead-up to our wedding ceremony. I’d curl myself around him in bed t fashion andand beg him not to leave me. I could feel him growing bored with me, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I ordered the court ateliers to make me more ith dreams ofinteresting dresses, I painted him pictures, planted a rose garden, but nothing life back inheld his attention. He’d leave, every night, to revel without me. else. I shouldThe morning of our wedding, Eloree, who was perhaps my only true very time thefriend in the Otherworld, dressed me in a gown constructed of dozens of layers of tissue-thin spider’s silk. It fell in ruffles and waves, as if I was unplaceableemerging from seafoam. The veil I wore covered my face, which I was rode horsesgrateful for. Struck by an unshakable feeling of loneliness, I cried all through the long walk down the aisle. gain allowedAll of Bram’s court was in attendance, as well as representatives from the But I cravedsurrounding Seelie territories. The palace dripped in flowers and swelled with ometimes formusic. I walked down the aisle alone, clutching a bouquet of roses that smelled of freshly fallen rain. I wished my sister was holding my train, but I if you let it,”forgot my hollow sadness as soon as Bram turned and smiled at me. wed up in myWe exchanged our vows, and he placed on my head a heavy golden e. The samecrown that he said had once belonged to his mother. Did I know his mother? I my vanity. Hefelt I must have, but the thought flitted away as soon as it came. o the night asI slipped a ring on his finger, and he kissed me, hard, just like the day I’d limb into bedpromised to marry him. When he pulled back, he smiled and said something strange. “I’ll be right back.” heHe sprinted down the petal-carpeted aisle and out the door.
“Bram?” I screamed after him, hiking up my skirts and trying to run. But He slipped asuddenly I blinked awake and was back in my room. ouble moonsI rose from my bed, still in my wedding gown, and opened the door. It into his armswasn’t locked, and no guard waited for me in the hallway. On bare feet I g. He pulledcrept across the cold stone floors, back into the main hall of the castle, where my wedding feast was raging without me. chair broughtBram was in the corner, back from wherever he’d run off to, with a foul d his officiallook on his face. I’d never seen him look so angry. He was deep in he placed aconversation with my least favorite of his advisers, the man with the cruel ueen of themouth and curtain of black hair that reached the floor. on’t we need“It’s exactly the same.” Bram was ranting, the rings on each of his ringers clicked as he waved his hands in emphasis. “She’s one of her subjects. She’s been crowned twice. I don’t see what the problem is.”
arably clingyThe adviser considered. “It must be on English soil, then.” d him in bedBram cursed and threw back the rest of whatever was in his goblet. He ith me, and Ijumped as he finally noticed me at his elbow. ake me more“What are you doing up?” There was a cruel tilt to his voice I didn’t like , but nothingat all.
“It’s our wedding feast,” I replied, confused. my only trueBram stuck out his arm, and his glass was filled once more. He drank that of dozens ofas well. “Sure, fine.” , as if I wasHe stalked off. I didn’t know what else to do but grab a drink. My eyes which I wasstung, and I was desperate to have something to do with my hands other than d all throughtwirl my new wedding band around my finger.
The faerie wine was strong, and I should have known better. I had a glass, from themaybe two, and came to my senses as I twirled on the dance floor, swept up swelled within a crowd of courtiers. of roses thatBut this was nothing like the revel I remembered from my first night here. my train, but IIt was rotten, like milk that had gone off. The music was in a strange minor key, the laughing faces of the folk looked suddenly like jackals, and the heavy goldendance floor was smeared with blood. his mother? II looked for the source, concerned that someone had been injured and needed my help, and that’s when I saw them. The first humans I’d seen in the ke the day I’dbetter part of a year. There were a dozen or so of them, all gaunt, wearing id somethingrags. Their faces were blank, their eyes glazed over, like they hadn’t even realized that they’d danced their feet bloody. They’d been enchanted by faeries, who stood in the corner laughing uproariously at their torture. And g to run. Butthere, on his throne, laughing along, was Bram.
I ran out of the room, back to my bedchamber, but I didn’t lock the door d the door. Itbehind me. n bare feet IUnable to sleep, I waited until the sun rose. I ripped off my wedding castle, wheredress, pulled on the dress I hadn’t worn since I’d arrived, and left my wedding ring on the vanity. I crept through the castle, whose walls I now o, with a foulknew well, and followed the spiral staircase around and around until I was deep inreached the damp darkness of the dungeons. with the cruelThe humans from the revel were locked up there in tiny stone cells, covered with filth. They were so emaciated they could stick their entire arms of his ringersthrough the bars, their dirt-crusted fingernails reaching for me. ubjects. She’sThey begged me for help in strange accents, some I could hardly understand. “How long have you been here?” I asked. They couldn’t even
remember. But every single one of them had been born in the 1400s. Can you goblet. Heimagine? In that basement for over four hundred years? “When is it?” they asked. I hadn’t the heart to tell them it was now 1848. Or was it? Time there e I didn’t likeseemed such a slippery thing.
They came from an England where sightings of the folk were common.
Parents warned children to stay away from tall strangers in the woods and to He drank thatnever follow music that seemingly came from nowhere. They did not heed the warnings, and they paid the price. Now they were brought up during ink. My eyesrevels to be used as nothing more substantial than a hit of faerie wine. ds other thanThey begged me to help free them. I was the first other human they’d seen in four centuries. And what could I do?
I had a glass,The key to their cells was hanging right there on a hook, like it had been oor, swept uphung in their eyeline just to torture them further. I passed it through the bars, but they made such a clatter unlocking it that the guard awoke. He lunged for st night here.me, but one of the other humans swung the prison gate hard enough that the trange minorguard stumbled backward and I got away. kals, and theI ran, as fast as I could, until my legs were burning and I couldn’t catch my breath, out of the palace and back to the woods where I’d first arrived. I n injured andshoved my hands at every tree until they were bloody and raw, and then ’d seen in thefinally something opened and I was spit back out in the middle of London, aunt, wearingmy memory wiped clean. I loved him. I loved him. But I couldn’t stay. hadn’t evenThere are two truths I didn’t know then that I know now. byThe first: there is no greater insult to a faerie than tricking him. torture. AndThe second: once they love you, they will not let you go.
The fire poker clatters to the floor, and I cross the room to my vanity, not lock the doorin defeat, but with the knowledge that this will be a different kind of fight.
My wedding band lies right where I left it. It glints in the dying daylight, my weddingsomehow not blanketed in dust like everything else. There’s another flash of and left mymetal, and I reach up to find a necklace hung atop the pointed peak of the walls I nowvanity mirror. My breath catches as it falls into my hands, cool against my ound until Iskin. I hold it up to the light, and a strangled cry leaves my lips. It’s a necklace with a golden chain, and a small I charm, made of pearls. It’s stone cells,missing one stone, a tiny golden crater, right in the center. r entire armsMy hands shake as I tuck it down the front of my bodice, where it rests against my heart, then I slip my wedding ring back onto my finger and wait.
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