CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
With Caldon’s words, the world stopped.
Pure terror flooded Kiva’s veins, prompting her to raise her blade again, the reaction automatic. But Caldon moved like lightning, grabbing her wrist and spinning her so her back slammed up against his front, his hand closing over the dagger and pressing it to her throat.
“You seriously thought that was a smart idea?” he growled into her ear.
Kiva’s pulse thundered with the knowledge that she’d been discovered,
certain she was about to die.
But then Caldon released her.
One second, her life was flashing before her eyes. The next, she was stumbling as he spun her to face him once more.
“A few things worth noting,” he said conversationally as he slid Naari’s blade into his belt, meeting Kiva’s panic-stricken gaze. “The first is that I know exactly who you are, Kiva Corentine, and I have almost since the day
we met.”
Kiva swayed on her feet.
“Captain Veris recognized you during your first Trial,” Caldon explained, which Kiva already knew from overhearing Jaren tell the Royal Council.
“Before I visited you in the infirmary, he told me about the night you and your father were arrested. He, however, only remembers you as Kiva Meridan.” Caldon’s tone was full of wry disbelief. “You’re lucky he wasn’t curious enough about the girl who would risk her life for the Rebel Queen to fill in the gaps like I did, scrounging for records of you and your father that eventually led me to the rest of your family. ‘Meridan,’ my ass.” He snorted ruefully.
Everworld help her, the prison records. But — there shouldn’t have been anything incriminating in there, and certainly no way to tie Kiva to the rest of her family and their true bloodline. Just how deep had Caldon dug to figure out who she was?
Full body trembles racked her frame, until —
“I just told you I’ve known for months, so you can stop looking like
you’re about to piss your pants.”
Months.
Caldon had known about her for months.
And yet —
He’d still saved her.
He’d still trained her.
He’d still befriended her.
What part of this aren’t you understanding? he’d demanded after she’d returned from her grandmother’s. We care about you, Kiva.
All that time, he’d known exactly who she was.
“Why?” she breathed, incapable of anything louder. “Your family means everything to you — why didn’t you turn me in, knowing how dangerous I could be to them? To you?”
Without hesitating, Caldon said, “Because I was planning to use you.”
Kiva jolted.
“We’ve had trouble getting spies into the rebels’ inner circle, and I thought you might be our way in. All I needed was to keep you close and gain your trust. And if that didn’t work, I would’ve blackmailed you — I certainly had enough leverage.”
Despite her being the guilty party, Kiva couldn’t help feeling hurt by his admission.
“But then I started getting to know you,” he went on, “and I realized you weren’t the hateful little rebel I’d expected. By the time we left the winter palace, I knew you cared enough about Jaren that you had to be struggling with whatever plans you had. So I decided to wait and see what you’d do — who you’d choose.”
You need to choose. It’s him or us. Them or us. You can’t have it both ways. Kiva pushed her sister’s voice away and, through dry lips, asked, “Choose?”
Caldon ignored her contrived uncertainty. “I’ll admit, your staged abduction came as a surprise — though I’m guessing we have your sister to thank for that special reunion.” He frowned and added, “I still don’t know why Mirraven attacked us after I dealt with your rebel friends. That day you drugged me and took off, I was genuinely worried that they’d captured you — Mirraven, not the rebels. I knew you were safe from them.” He rolled his eyes.
“You let me drug you,” Kiva wheezed.
“I didn’t let you drug me,” Caldon argued. “I’m still mad at you for that.
It’s embarrassing — you knocked me out using herbal tea.”
“And Torell,” Kiva went on, spiraling, “you told me you’re attracted to him. If you already knew who he was —”
“Have you seen him?” Caldon interrupted. “Corentine or not, anyone with functioning eyes would be attracted to him.”
Kiva rubbed her temples, but then she stopped as belated realization hit her. “You didn’t tell Jaren.”
“Everworld help me, of course that’s the only part you care about,”
Caldon muttered, looking up to the heavens.
“It’s not all I care about,” Kiva defended. “But it’s pretty damn important.”
“Why’s that?” Caldon asked without mercy. “Because you know how much the truth would break his heart?”
Kiva looked away. “It was never meant to happen like this. Any of it.”
“Oh, so you didn’t intend to make us all love you enough that we wouldn’t notice when you stabbed us in the back? That wasn’t part of your
plan?”
“That’s not — I didn’t — I haven’t —”
But she had. She’d left Zalindov with that very intention, to infiltrate the palace, to get to know the Vallentis family, to find their vulnerabilities, and to
use what she discovered against them.
All along, that had been her task.
Her choice.
But not anymore.
Kiva was done.
She couldn’t hold on to the pain of her last ten years any longer, couldn’t justify usurping a kingdom whose heir would willingly give his life to keep his people safe. That was the kind of leader Evalon needed.
She finally understood now. Her mother’s vengeance was not her own.
She could choose to forgive, to let go of old grudges and ancient betrayals
and just — And just be Kiva Meridan.
Her mother’s daughter — but her father’s, too.
Faran Meridan, the healer who inspired her dreams.
Dreams she could follow, as soon as she let go of her past.
As soon as she let go of Kiva Corentine.
At the revelation, a weight lifted from her shoulders, sudden enough that she staggered on her feet.
“I’m all right,” she whispered when Caldon reached out to steady her.
“You were thinking pretty deeply,” he said. “What’s on your mind?”
Kiva looked up at him, seeing his solemn gaze, recalling everything he’d said, how he’d known about her and kept her secret, giving her the benefit of the doubt. Her most unexpected ally — and her most unanticipated friend.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You were right, I have been helping my family. But — I stopped. Even tonight, I only told them useless information, something they can’t act on, not now. They have to come up with new plans, which will take time. Weeks, months, years, I don’t know. All I know is that I —” She swallowed. “I’m done.” Quickly, she added, “I still love them; of course I do. But I also love —” She choked on the name, and changed course to say, “I also care for your family. And if I’m honest with myself, I’ve known for a while now that I can’t be a part of anything bad happening to you. Any of you. Not anymore.”
A moment passed. Then another. All the while, Kiva looked at the ground, fully aware that she’d just admitted to the highest form of treason. In one move, Caldon could plunge Naari’s dagger into her heart, and be justified in his actions. Her life was in his hands.
As it had been, apparently, for months.
The unbearable silence continued, until finally — finally — he put her
out of her misery.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Caldon’s humor-filled tone had Kiva’s eyes shooting upward, and then they widened like saucers when he tugged her into his arms for a rough hug.
“You’re a pain in my ass, Sunshine,” he told her gruffly. “But you sure keep things interesting around here.”
Kiva released a half laugh, half sob, and held on to him tightly. “Aren’t you angry?”
“Are you kidding me?” he asked, drawing back. “You’ve been conspiring to bring down my entire family. Our entire kingdom. Just because I’ve known all along doesn’t mean I’m not furious.” Kiva bit her lip until he relented, “But if anyone can understand how important family is, it’s me. And while I think your sister is a nasty piece of work, your brother —”
“Please don’t start telling me how attractive he is again.”
“Your brother,” he repeated, “doesn’t really have his heart in it, does he?”
Kiva rocked back, startled. “How do you know that?”
Shrugging, Caldon said, “Despite my performance yesterday, that wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him.”
Gaping now, Kiva asked, “You’ve met him before?”
The prince shook his head. “We didn’t meet. Last time my sister came to Vallenia to report on the status of the armies, I left for a while and —” He broke off, frowning. “I know Jaren told you about my tragic past — you basically told me as much when you came to my room the other night, so you
can quit the confused act.”
Kiva tried to school her face.
“How you’ve managed to trick everyone for so long is a mystery to me,” he murmured incredulously. But then he continued, “When Ashlyn came, I traveled inland and stopped at a village that happened to be the rebels’ most recent target. When the local guards grew fed up with their propaganda, things turned violent.”
Kiva grimaced and looked out at the water.
“It was a mess,” Caldon said. “The townsfolk joined in, some helping the guards, some helping the rebels; men, women, even children, all fighting.”
His voice changed as he went on, “And then I saw your brother. He was like an avenging god among men, his jackal mask alone making people tremble at the sight of him. But the thing I’ll never forget is that he wasn’t attacking anyone. He was protecting them. All of them. Even the guards.”
“What?” Kiva breathed.
“He was careful to make sure no one noticed,” Caldon said, “but I was on the roof and had a bird’s-eye view, so I saw him sneak behind a building and remove his mask. No longer the Jackal, he began to save the very people his fellow rebels were trying to hurt, knocking out the most dangerous assailants from both sides but never inflicting more harm than that. It was so incredible that I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about it afterward — or reveal his identity. Your brother has some impressive skills, Sunshine. Like, seriously impress —”
“Go back,” Kiva interrupted. “Did you say you were on the roof?”
He scratched his cheek and looked past her shoulder. “I’m still not sure how I got up there, but I may have been drowning my sorrows at the tavern for so long that I could hardly stand up straight, let alone join in the fight.”
He wrinkled his nose. “Poor timing on my part, but I sure had the best view in town.”
At the thought of a drunken, useless Caldon watching the battle while lusting after her rebel-leader brother, Kiva burst out laughing.
“I’m glad you’re amused,” the prince huffed. “I was hungover for three days.”
“Sounds like you deserved it,” Kiva replied, still snickering.
He made a harrumph noise but didn’t disagree.
“Anyway,” he said, “from what I saw that day, your brother doesn’t seem as committed as I’m guessing most people assume.”
“He’s not,” Kiva admitted. “He never chose this life. He’s just . . .”
“Trapped,” Caldon said, understanding.
“Exactly,” Kiva agreed.
The prince released a sigh. “Well, maybe that’ll change after tonight. You said their plans have been delayed, right? That might give him the chance to break free somehow.”
Given the resignation Kiva had seen come over Torell, she had her doubts. But she also wouldn’t give up hope. She’d do everything she could to encourage him to make the same decision she’d made.
The same decision, she realized, that their grandmother had made. And, prior to the events of ten years ago, the same decision their mother had made — and held on to for most of her life.
It wasn’t impossible to walk away from the rebels’ mission. Hard, but not impossible. Harder, of course, when the current Vallentis family had caused so much personal heartache, but again, if Kiva could forgive them, then maybe . . .
“What are you thinking?” Caldon asked, using the tip of his finger to smooth the wrinkle between her brow.
“That you might be right — with a little help, Tor could break free,” Kiva said. “He could get his life back, just like I did.”
“Forgive me for pointing this out, but you’re still a work in progress,”
Caldon said dryly, indicating the alleyway where she’d met her siblings.
“We’re all a work in progress at something,” Kiva returned, reminded all over again of how close she’d come to disaster tonight. If someone else had followed her . . . If they’d done the same research as Caldon . . . If Caldon himself had cared less about her or decided she wasn’t worth the risk of keeping alive . . .
“You need to stop this,” he said, smoothing her forehead again. “Keep frowning, and you’ll age thirty years in no time. Maybe forty.”
She batted away his hand and deliberately deepened her frown.
“That’s lovely,” he said. “Real charming.”
“Have you always been this annoying?” Kiva asked.
“You bring out the best in me, Sweet Cheeks.”
Kiva sent him a deadpan look.
He chuckled, before sobering again. “It’s late — we need to get back to the palace. But before we go, I have one last question.”
“I thought you already knew everything about me?” Kiva shot back.
“Do you have healing magic?”
The breath left Kiva. But then, slowly, she nodded. “I do. But Zuleeka and Tor don’t.”
Caldon pulled Naari’s blade from his belt, causing Kiva’s heart to stutter.
But he only waved it and said, “So, if I stabbed myself with this right now —”
“Don’t!” Kiva cried, lunging for it. Only when it was safely back beneath her leather boot did she realize he hadn’t put up a fight and was looking at her with raised eyebrows. She cleared her throat and explained, “I can’t use my power right now.”
His questioning look only grew, so Kiva gave in and told him the real reason why she’d drugged him, candidly sharing about her magic bursts and her grandmother’s suppressant potion. The only thing she left out was that she’d have to return to Blackwater Bog the next day, fearing he’d try to stop her — or worse, insist on accompanying her. She very much doubted Delora would appreciate the royal company.
When she was finished, Caldon stared at her for a long moment, before finally grinning. “Doesn’t it feel good to get all that off your chest? No more secrets between us, Sunshine.” His face turned serious as he warned, “I mean it. As much as I love you, if I get so much as a hint that you’ve lied to me and you’re planning to hurt my family, I’ll slit your throat myself. Understood?”
Kiva gulped. That seemed to be answer enough for Caldon, since he slung his arm around her shoulders and began leading her out of the docks, whistling merrily the entire way back to the palace.
