The sun is shining, the sky is a deep blue, there is a lovely breeze and I’m longing—so longing—for everything. To talk, for freedom, for friends, to be alone. And I do so long... to cry! I feel as if I’m going to burst, and I know that it would get better with crying; but I can’t, I’m restless, I go from one room to the other, breathe through the crack of a closed window, feel my heart beating, as if it is saying, “Can’t you satisfy my longings at last?”
I believe that it’s spring within me, I feel that spring is awakening, I feel it in my whole body and soul. It is an effort to behave normally, I feel utterly confused, don’t know what to read, what to write, what to do, I only know that I am longing!
Yours, Anne
Monday, 14 February, 1944
Dear Kitty, Since Saturday a lot has changed for me. It came about like this. I longed—and am still longing—but... now something has happened, which has made it a little, just a little, less.
To my great joy—I will be quite honest about it—already this morning I noticed that Peter kept looking at me all the time. Not in the ordinary way, I don’t know how, I just can’t explain.
I used to think that Peter was in love with Margot, but yesterday I suddenly had the feeling that it is not so. I made a special effort not to look at him too much, because whenever I did, he kept on looking too and then —yes, then—it gave me a lovely feeling inside, but which I mustn’t feel too often.
I desperately want to be alone. Daddy has noticed that I’m not quite my usual self, but I really can’t tell him everything. “Leave me in peace, leave
