quite forgotten, and I was treated like everyone else again. It is impossible for me to be all sugar one day and spit venom the next. I’d rather choose the golden mean (which is not so golden), keep my thoughts to myself, and try for once to be just as disdainful to them as they are to me. Oh, if only I could!
Yours, Anne
Friday, 5 February, 1943
Dear Kitty, Although I haven’t written anything, about our rows for a long time, there still isn’t any change. The discord, long accepted by us, struck Mr.
Dussel as a calamity at first. But he is getting used to it now and tries not to think about it. Margot and Peter aren’t a bit what you would call ‘young,’ they are both so staid and quiet. I show up terribly against them and am always hearing, “You don’t find Margot and Peter doing that—why don’t you follow their example?” I simply loathe it. I might tell you I don’t want to be in the least like Margot. She is much too soft and passive for my liking, and allows everyone to talk her around, and gives in about everything. I want to be a stronger character! But I keep such ideas to myself: they would only laugh at me, if I came along with this as an explanation of my attitude. The atmosphere at table is usually strained, though luckily the outbursts are sometimes checked by ‘the soup eaters’!
The ‘soup eaters’ are the people from the office who come in and are served with a cup of soup. This afternoon Mr. van Daan was talking about Margot eating so little again. “I suppose you do it to keep slim,” he added, teasing her. Mummy, who always defends Margot, said loudly: “I can’t bear your stupid chatter any longer.” Mr. van Daan turned scarlet, looked straight in front of him, and said nothing. We often laugh about things, just recently
