[Section opener]
Meg
Chapter 46
On the morning I am to leave the red house for good, I lay my View Day dress out on the bed.
The white scratchy one I swore to Baby Jesus I would never, ever wear again. I hold my breath
so as not to smell the sad place it came from and I will not look at myself in the mirror either
when I get it on. I don’t want to see it. I am not sure why I even kept the damn thing, except for
deep down I knew it would come to this.
Next, I start taking those nice things off the hangers. She said they are mine to take.
Those fancy shopping bags are long gone so I pull out my old paper sack with the portraits of the
volunteer ladies still in there. I can’t stand to look at them either. In goes the bluebird dress, the
lamb’s wool sweaterette, the stockings, the socks, the nightgowns, I even stick a plush towel in.
Even though I know Miss Garnett will jerk them away like she does all the girls. Who knows
where in the hell they go to. Maybe she gives them to better children. They will not appreciate
them as much as me.
When I get to the pink bathing suit, I take a deep smell of it. It still smells strong of lake
from me and Tom’s last swim together. Tom’s Lake, I think of it now. I decide I will wear it up
under my dress so I will feel close to Tom on the drive. That way Miss Garnett cannot take it and
I can smell it later when I need to. I will need to do that until it loses its smell forever.
Lucille is still in there packing up a few last things. Early this morning, Mrs. Heidelberg
came over to inform me of how my life would look from now on. She let her own self in, it is her
805
