36. Secrets and Flames
I was supposed to be mad at Ace, for god’s sake, but I was fucking aroused! I was holding him to me, arching into his body, and even parting my legs to better accommodate his huge body between them.
A sudden burst of emotion crawled up my throat. “What are we doing, Ace?” I whispered.
“I’m taking care of you,” he responded. “Fuck, you smell good. Fuck. ” One of his arms slithered under my arched back. “Tilt your head to the side for me, sweet girl.”
He wanted to kiss that little bump on my neck. He wanted to distract me. I couldn’t let that happen.
Even if we both knew that was what I really wanted.
I shook my head, barely managing to suppress a moan. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
A sharp pain exploded in my lower stomach, and I cried out.
Ace snarled. “You’re suffering, Doe. Everything else can wait. I need to make you feel better.”
It was all too much. I felt out of control. I didn’t understand what was happening, why my body craved his so badly, why I still wanted him even when I was so mad.
“A-Ace. Please. I…I…” My voice broke.
I started to sob. I didn’t even see it coming. I hugged my face into his neck, my tears coating his skin as my cries were absorbed by the fabric of his shirt.
“Doe?” Ace sounded panicked. He tried to lean back to look at me, but I tightened my arms around his neck. “What is it? Why are you crying?”
“I…I can’t—” I sobbed some more, unable to form the words.
He caressed my sides with gentle hands. “Talk to me, sweetheart.” His voice had gone from dark and possessive to sweet and concerned. “You’re scaring me. Are you in pain? Are you hurt?”
Well, yes. I felt like I was covered in flames and the only thing that was going to stop me from burning alive was Ace’s skin against mine. But that wasn’t why I was crying.
I raised my hand and smacked his shoulder. It wasn’t a hard hit but it was enough to express what I was feeling without words.
Then, since it felt so good, I hit him again. And again. I hit him until my hands hurt.
My unexpected bout of violence finally allowed him to pull back from my hold. But I didn’t stop. I continued to punch his chest.
I knew I wasn’t hurting him—I was pretty sure that was an impossible feat since the man was made of pure rock—but it seemed to get his attention.
“Okay, okay,” Ace said. He grabbed my hands, forcing me to stop. “Okay, Doe, that’s enough, little one. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”
His deep blue eyes, so understanding and patient, sucked me in and calmed me as he propped himself up above me.
Once he was sure I was done attacking him, he released my hands and reached down to wipe my tears away gently. “What’s wrong, love?”
My laughter was strained and tear-filled. “You’re asking me what’s wrong? I thought you already knew what I was thinking all the time.”
Ace frowned. “I can tell what you’re feeling, never what you’re thinking.”
“Oh, yeah?” I challenged. “Then what am I feeling?”
“You’re feeling angry.” He kissed my cheek, wiping another stray tear away with his lips. “And confused.” His lips moved to the corner of my mouth. “And sad.” My chin.
“Do you want to tell me why?”
My insides quivered as he nipped the skin of my jaw.ms slithered under “I just…” Don’t let him distract you, Doe. “Why can’t I stay mad at you?”
He paused for a moment. “Explain.”
“W-well, I-I’m angry at you, you jerk!” I shoved his shoulder. “You keep secrets from me and refuse to tell me about anything that is going on in your life as if I mean absolutely nothing to you.”
I ducked my chin so I didn’t have to look him in the eye. “So why can’t I just hate you for a little while? Why do I always feel lost when you’re not nearby? Like…like I can’t breathe without you.”
Ace’s body loosened against mine, and his expression softened. “You feel that way because we’remy body craved meant for each other. I know because I feel the same way.”
I nearly rolled my eyes. That was such an Ace answer—saying sweet things to butter me up yet still without explaining anything. And I didn’t miss the way his hands were still wandering around myoating his skin as body.
I needed to change tactics. “We’re in a relationship, right? Like a real one? You would consider yourself my boyfriend and me your girlfriend?”
My question made his eyes spit fire. Perfect.
“Yes. You’re mine. I don’t ever want to hear you questioning that again.”
Tension hung in the air as I spoke my next words. “Then why don’t you treat me like I’m your
girlfriend?” me from burning Ace might as well have had steam coming out of his ears. I didn’t like it either. But it needed to be said.
“Doe, you’re my everything. You have to know that. Girlfriend isn’t even a strong enough term for the
xpress what I was way I feel about you.”
“If you really felt that way then…then—” I cut myself off with a frustrated groan as more tears pooled in my eyes. I didn’t want to be crying. Ace wouldn’t take me seriously if I continued to cry.
I wiped my eyes. “Look, I know something is going on with you. I can feel it. I’ve felt it for months.
And it hurts that you don’t trust me or care about my opinion enough to tell me what’s going on.”
“None of that is true, Doe. I want to tell you—”
“Then why don’t you?” I seethed. “What’s stopping you? People who love each other want each other’s support when they’re going through something hard, but it’s like you think I’m temporary or—”
“I can’t put you in that kind of danger, Doe! I just can’t do it!” Ace finally exploded.
He sat up, tunneling a hand through his chocolaty brown hair. “I want to tell you! I want to tell you so fucking bad. But it’s too dangerous. I would rather die than lose you.”
I mimicked his stance so we were both facing each other on my bed.
“What do you mean? What could possibly be so dangerous?” My heart suddenly felt like it was trapped you already knewbetween my ribs. “Ace, are you in trouble?”
He shook his head. “No. No, of course not. It’s nothing like that. You don’t have to worry about me, baby. I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”
I tried to swallow but it got stuck in my throat. I didn’t know what else to say. The conversation was doing the opposite of putting me at ease.
“Will you ever be able to tell me?” I pleaded. “Will I ever get to know what you’re doing when we’re not together? Why you’ve been missing school? Who you’ve been texting for the last several months?”
Ace winced as he looked up at my ceiling. “I’m going to get in so much trouble for telling you this.”
He looked back at me. “Graduation. That has always been the plan, to tell you everything once we’re both eighteen.” me and refuse to“The…plan?” I repeated slowly. “You have a-a… plan to tell me some huge, life-changing secret?”
Ace glared at the tears of frustration falling down my cheeks. “Please, Doe—”
He reached for me, but I pushed him away. My stomach cramped tightly.
“No, seriously, what am I supposed to do with that information?” I demanded.
“Something big is happening to you—something that is potentially putting you in danger—and you just want me to sit back and not ask any questions? For ~months~? I’m not okay with that, Ace!”
“I know. You shouldn’t be okay with that. I’m not okay with that. I’ve never been okay with it, but it’s not my choice. I didn’t get to decide.”
My mind reeled as I tried to process everything he was saying. “I don’t understand.”
I covered my face with my hands. “None of this makes any sense.”
Ace’s arms were around me in an instant. He pulled me onto him so I was straddling him, and the soothing purr from his chest reverberated deep inside my bones.
“I know this is confusing. I know you’re hurting. But I promise this will all make sense soon. Please, just give me time.”
Despite my common sense telling me to keep fighting, every question I asked only seemed to causeneeded to be said. more stress and confusion.
And as crazy as it sounded, I believed him when he said he wanted to tell me everything but couldn’t. I could see it in his eyes. It wasn’t up to him. He was keeping things from me to protect me.
Whether or not his protection was necessary, I wasn’t so sure, but I was willing to trust him. I was willing to wait until he was ready to tell me…even if it killed me in the meantime.
Besides, how big of a secret could it really be?
I let myself melt into his hold, relieved as some of the intense heat in my skin started to dissipate.
“Graduation?” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.
“You’re sure you can’t just tell me now?”temporary or—”
Ace’s body relaxed a little. “Graduation. Once we’re both eighteen, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”
“Can’t we just wait until you’re eighteen? It’s only two days from now.”
He kissed my forehead. “We both have to be eighteen. It’s not up to me.”
I sighed and pressed my nose into the crook of his neck where his masculine scent was strongest. I took in several lungfuls.ke it was trapped “I’m still not okay with this. I’m still mad,” I murmured. Sparks danced along my lips.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
His hands drifted under the bottom of my shirt. I shivered as his fingers danced up and down the bare
skin of my back, pausing momentarily to play with the clasp of my bra.
I didn’t have the energy to talk about it anymore. He felt too good against me. I was burning from the inside out and knew Ace was the only one who could put out the flames. several months?”“Can I take care of you now?”
I didn’t know what that meant but I really didn’t care. I trusted Ace. He would never hurt me. Not
intentionally, at least.
I nodded. “Okay.”
—and you just
ng but couldn’t. I
hing. I promise.”
strongest. I took
skin of my back, pausing momentarily to play with the clasp of my bra.
I didn’t have the energy to talk about it anymore. He felt too good against me. I was burning from the inside out and knew Ace was the only one who could put out the flames.
“Can I take care of you now?”
I didn’t know what that meant but I really didn’t care. I trusted Ace. He would never hurt me. Not
intentionally, at least.
I nodded. “Okay.”
