23. Heartbreak in the Shadows
I felt so stupid. My body was numb and unfeeling. The devastation hadn’t hit yet but I knew it would soon.
Was that Ace’s way of rejecting me? Letting me down easy by claiming he was busy? If so, it had to be the oldest, lamest excuse in the book.
He didn’t even react to my admission of wanting to be more than friends. It was like he didn’t even care.
I took a shaky breath and leaned my forehead on the wall beside me.
Who was I kidding? Of course he rejected me. Ace wasn’t looking to go out with me.
He wanted someone like Clara—sexy, confident, funny Clara. That’s who he deserved.
I would always just be the weird girl he saw as more of some lame friend than anything else. I was an idiot for thinking he might have been sending me signals.
My shoulders slumped in defeat.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Hey, Dorothy!” someone called out just as I was about to turn and open the door of the gym locker room.
I turned to find Clara approaching me, grinning broadly.
Oh, good. This was just what I needed: to talk to the love of my life’s crush right after he rejected me.
How perfect.
“Hey, uh, are you okay?” she asked once she was a few feet away, probably noticing the look of endless despair and devastation painted across my face.
She was wearing loose-fitting jeans and a black turtleneck, with a gold moon necklace hanging above her collarbone.
I hated how beautiful she was. She always looked perfect. Hell, she was even making the infamous
Dwayne Johnson outfit look good.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied.
I was this close to breaking down in pathetic, heart-wrenching sobs. I just had to get somewhere to be alone first, then I was sure the tears would burst out of me like water through a broken pipe.
But somehow, I managed to keep my composure a little while longer. “I was just about to head to class.
Did you need something?”
She stepped forward, her friendly smile growing. “Yeah, actually. Is Ace around?”
And that was the moment I became the cliché. I became the girl who hated the other girl in my story
solely because I was jealous.
All because Ace liked her and not me.
Clara had done nothing wrong; in fact, she had been nothing but kind to me. My hatred for her said more about my character than it did hers.
And yet, I wanted to punch her in the face. Hard. Again and again.
I wordlessly pointed down the hallway to where Ace was standing, back turned to us, still talking on the phone.
“Oh,” she said, looking in the direction of my finger. Her smile dropped into a slight frown.
My evil, black heart rejoiced.
“Shoot, I have an appointment out of town and I wanted to talk to him before I left for the day.” She pulled her backpack around to her front, opened it, and pulled out a notebook and a pen.
If so, it had to be She quickly wrote something down. “Would you do me a favor and give this to him?
I keep promising to give him my number and then forget before I get the chance.
“It would be nice to be able to text him instead of just waiting until the next time I bump into him to talk to him.” She ripped the piece of paper from her notebook and held it out to me.
I felt like my whole world was tilting as I took it from her hand with shaky fingers.
“O-okay…”
Her smile was back. She slung her backpack over her shoulder again. “Thanks, Dorothy. You know, Ace is really lucky to have you in his life. He talks about you all the time.
“If he hadn’t called you his best friend when we first met, I would probably think you were his girlfriend. That’s how close the two of you seem.”
Her words felt like a slap. I lowered my gaze.
“You two do have amazing chemistry. I don’t think anyone can deny that,” she continued lightly.
“Would you ever consider…getting together with him?”
We both knew why she was asking me this. She wanted to know if I would be a threat if she and Ace started dating. She wanted to know if I would try to steal her man.
Her man.
Not mine.
My heart shattered into a million little pieces.
“No,” I whispered. “Not really. Ace and I will always be just friends.”
She nodded slowly. I barely even processed what she said next.
“Hm, well, you two would make the cutest couple. Maybe you should consider it.”
She looked back over at Ace. “Do you know who he’s on the phone with? He looks upset.”
I followed her gaze back to Ace and noticed how tense he looked. His hand was curled into a fist at his side, and his body was rigid. He was speaking too quietly for me to hear what he was saying.
“No,” I replied. “I don’t, actually.”t to head to class.
Clara pursed her lips. “Hmm, strange. I’ll have to remember to ask him when I see him later tonight.
Looks like it’s important, whatever it is.”
My eyes darted to hers. “You’re seeing him tonight?” She was the important plans that Ace had tonight? He was turning me down to go out with ~her?~ Oh god, I was going to be sick.
Clara seemed a bit taken aback by the shock in my voice, and a deep groove appeared in the flawless skin of her forehead.
“Oh, um, yeah.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I thought Ace would have told you his plans.”
I looked back at him. Shame heated my face. “Ace doesn’t tell me much of anything nowadays. And
I’ve quit asking.”
“Oh. That sounds…pretty frustrating.”
I didn’t reply.
“Well, okay… I should probably get going.” She took a hesitant step backward. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
No. “Yes. I’m fine.” I just needed her to go away.
She nodded slowly. “All right. I guess I’ll see you around, Dorothy.”
I watched her and all her perfectness walk down the hall, away from me and, more importantly, away from Ace. Thank god.
“You ready to get demolished during kickball, Dorothy?” a new voice asked. “I heard we’re on opposite teams today.”
I blinked and turned to see Madoc standing across the hall, at the entrance to the boys’ locker room.
He had gym with Ace and me and loved to make fun of how small and nonathletic I was.
It didn’t matter that I was one of the best dancers at the school and very strong in my own way; my strength was nothing compared to theirs.
I wasn’t surprised to see him so happy. He loved gym far more than any other class I had with him.
Physical activity was where he and Ace thrived, and was when they released their pent-up energy.
I swear, they would spend all day racing each other around the track like little boys if they didn’t have
other classes to attend.
“What?” I replied.
“I asked if you were ready to get demolished at kickball today,” he repeated, cracking his knuckles.
“Oh. Yeah, sure. That sounds good,” I responded dismissively.
His forehead puckered.
Did I say something weird? I don’t even care.
I glanced over my shoulder at Ace to make sure he wasn’t paying attention to us. He was still on the
phone, his back turned.
“Can I, uh, ask you a quick question?”
Madoc nodded slowly. “Um, okay. What’s up?”
I took a steadying breath. “Do you know what’s going on between Ace and Clara? I feel like there’s something Ace isn’t telling me.” In fact, I was almost positive about it.
Madoc’s lips ticked up at the corners. “I’m not sure I’m supposed to tell you. But let’s just say, you may be Ace’s favorite girl, but you’re not going to be the only one in his life for much longer.”
He patted my head in a gesture that I was sure he meant to be comforting but that just felt patronizing when I was already so close to breaking. “Better get used to sharing his attention.”
My heart dropped so low in my stomach, I swear it fell out of my ass. “Oh,” I whispered in response.
“Now, come on, Doe!” he exclaimed. “Go get dressed so we can play some kickball! I fucking love kickball!”
He made a whooping noise and punched the air several times before turning and disappearing into the locker room.
***
I didn’t end up playing kickball. I didn’t even set foot inside the gym.
Instead, I fled. I dropped my backpack and ran down the hallway, making sure Ace wasn’t watching me before I sprinted away.
I wasn’t even sure where I was going. All I knew was that I needed to get away. I had to. I needed a moment to think and process the horrible turn of events that had become my life.
After exploding out the main doors of the school, I raced toward the woods behind the parking lot. I didn’t have a car to go home, so my next best hope for some privacy was the curtain of green trees.
I had always loved forests. Ace and I would spend hours surrounded by nature, especially during the summers, going for swims in hidden lakes or having picnics after long hikes.
Nature, all of it, was our spot.
But it was looking like we wouldn’t have a spot at all anymore. How could I continue hanging out with him if he liked someone else?
I was sobbing hard by the time I reached some random hiking trail behind the school, tears and snot dripping down my face. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum.
Damn, this hurts.
I don’t know how long I walked. I just kept going.
The only thing that made me stop was my phone going off in my hand.
Ace was calling me. I didn’t care.
I sobbed harder and shut my phone off just as the first text from him came rolling in, asking me where I was. I shoved the phone into the pocket of my dress and kept walking.
My dad was right. I needed a break from Ace. A long one.
I didn’t end up playing kickball. I didn’t even set foot inside the gym.
Instead, I fled. I dropped my backpack and ran down the hallway, making sure Ace wasn’t watching me before I sprinted away.
I wasn’t even sure where I was going. All I knew was that I needed to get away. I had to. I needed a moment to think and process the horrible turn of events that had become my life.
After exploding out the main doors of the school, I raced toward the woods behind the parking lot. I didn’t have a car to go home, so my next best hope for some privacy was the curtain of green trees.
I had always loved forests. Ace and I would spend hours surrounded by nature, especially during the summers, going for swims in hidden lakes or having picnics after long hikes.
Nature, all of it, was our spot.
But it was looking like we wouldn’t have a spot at all anymore. How could I continue hanging out with him if he liked someone else?
I was sobbing hard by the time I reached some random hiking trail behind the school, tears and snot dripping down my face. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum.
Damn, this hurts.
I don’t know how long I walked. I just kept going.
The only thing that made me stop was my phone going off in my hand.
Ace was calling me. I didn’t care.
I sobbed harder and shut my phone off just as the first text from him came rolling in, asking me where I was. I shoved the phone into the pocket of my dress and kept walking.
My dad was right. I needed a break from Ace. A long one.
