21. Fractured Memories and Unspoken Desires
Before I got the chance to respond to Ace’s strange “Soon” statement, Wes spoke again.
“Wow,” he said in his little voice. That seemed to be his new favorite word. He was tracing the hard lines of Ace’s lower stomach as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.
I almost laughed. What I wouldn’t have given to study Ace’s abs so freely.
Ace chuckled, the sound doing something to my insides. “Someday, you’ll have your own little buddy.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” I argued. “Have you seen my mom? She’s on the smaller side like me. Maybe Wes will be the same way. Plus, your body is just unnaturally perfect.”
Ace raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Perfect, huh?” he repeated in a low tone.
I gulped. “Don’t go getting a big head on me,” I said, quickly backtracking. “I only meant that Wes shouldn’t expect to look like you when he grows up.
“No one can look like you because you’re one of those rare human beings who are perfect without trying. I mean, look at you. Even a three-year-old recognizes that you’re a tank.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Wes seems pretty strong to me already. I think he might have the gene to become as big as me someday. In fact, I’m almost sure of it.”
I frowned while wrapping my arms around Wes so his back was against my front, snuggled close to me.
Ace gently grabbed my chin, tilting it up so that I looked into his deep blue eyes.
“Does that upset you?”
I sighed. “No. Not really. I just don’t want him to get big and scary like everyone else around here.
“I feel like people in Embermoon act like I’m fragile or made of glass because I’m so much smaller.
It’s intimidating to be surrounded by people who are so much bigger than you all the time.
“I just want Wes to stay my perfect little squish forever, that’s all.”
A quiet growl came from Ace’s chest. “They act like you’re fragile because you are.
You’re fragile and perfect and beautiful. And you need protection and deserve the respect of everyone
around you.”
I gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”
Wes yawned and turned in my arms, setting his head down on my boobs.
I laughed. “I swear, this kid thinks my boobs are his own personal pillow. He does this every time we’re together.”
“If I didn’t know he was three and that you two were related, I might be jealous,”
Ace said.
I shoved his chest. “Don’t be such a guy,” I said, even as my stomach did a flip.
Ace grinned. “You’re so good with him.”
I hugged Wes closer to me. “I can’t wait to be a mom someday. I want as many kids as possible, just like my parents.”
Ace looked at me with an expression that I couldn’t read. Was it determination?
“Then you will.”
*** “Do you remember what happened?”
“You mean the car accident?” I replied.
The man in the suit glanced up from his notepad, and the chair he was sitting in at the side of my hospital bed groaned under his weight. His abnormally large body looked comical in the flimsy seat.
“During the car accident, yes, but before or after as well,” Suit-Man said. “Really anything that happened that day.”
I frowned. I had already talked to several doctors about this at length.
I couldn’t remember the car accident. Or anything from the last few days. My last memory was of Ace pulling me out to my backyard during my fifteenth birthday party the night before the accident.
And then…nothing. I awoke in this hospital room two days later with the most horrible headache and a nurse standing next to my bed who told me I had gone through the windshield of my dad’s car.
“I…I don’t remember. I have, uh…dissociative amnesia.”
That was what my doctor told me at least. My mind blocked out the memory of the car accident—and the days surrounding it—to protect me from the traumatic event.
“Yes, you already mentioned that. I just want to make sure I have as much information as possible.
“Are the concussion and the cut on your head the only injuries you sustained from the accident? It’s a miracle you didn’t walk away with more after going through a car windshield.”
“I-I, um…” I winced as my head started to feel like someone was cracking it open.
I dug my knuckles into my eyes. “A-are you a doctor? I’ve already talked to a bunch of doctors about this. Couldn’t they explain it to you?”
The man sighed. “No, I’m not a doctor. Remember what I told you when I got here?
My name is Gregory Mintz, and I’m with the OPS. I’m your caseworker.”
A loud buzzing sound started in my ears, and my head was pounding like a relentless jackhammer.
“The OPS? Do you mean CPS?”
Why would Child Protective Services send a social worker to talk to me? It was only a car accident. It wasn’t as if I needed to be removed from my home or anything.
Gregory shook his head. “No, not CPS. OPS—the Omega Protective Services. I’m here to make sure you aren’t in any unsafe situations.”
He leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else you want to tell me, Dorothy? I promise I only want to help you.”
My head was about to explode. My gut churned.
“It was just a car accident. It wasn’t even that serious. The doctor said I can go home later today. I really don’t see why Child Protective Services needs to be involved.”
Gregory let out a frustrated huff of air. “I’m not from Child Protective—”
“Where are my parents?” I cut him off. Why aren’t they here? Why am I alone with this man? “I want
to see Ace.” Tears of panic and pain clouded my eyes.
“We’re talking in circles here, Dorothy. Your parents and mate agreed to step out while I talked to you, remember? It’s important that no one influences your answers—”
Each word he spoke felt like he was stabbing a needle into my brain. He wasn’t making any sense.
“Stop!” I shouted suddenly.
I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my hands into the sides of my head, trying to ease the intense throbbing. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please don’t make me talk about this anymore.”
*** I jackknifed up in bed with a gasp. Oh god, that was a terrible dream. My heart bounced in my chest as I tried to regain my bearings.
I squinted into the darkness, relieved to find I was back in my bedroom, but still taken by the aftereffects of that unsettling nightmare. e headache and a Not to mention my head felt inflamed with yet another oncoming migraine.
I groaned and fell back on the bed, my hands immediately searching for Ace’s warm body. Instead, all I found was an empty mattress. Unexpected panic flooded my stomach.
“Ace?” I whispered into the pitch-black room.
Where is he? This isn’t like him.
He was more likely to carry my unconscious body around with him than to leave me alone in my bed.
Something had to be wrong. That was the only explanation. There was an emergency or an accident that took him away from me or— The bed dipped next to me, and a hand traveled up my back, slipping under my shirt to caress my bare skin.
“Shh, Doe, I’m here. You’re okay. I’m here.”
The bedside table lamp suddenly flooded the room with light, and I found Ace smiling down at me, sitting on the edge of the bed with his body turned to me. I let out a relieved sigh.
“Where were you?” Surprising even myself, I crawled to him, wrapping my body around his leg. I just wanted to be near him.
Ace ran his hand through my hair as I adjusted myself so my head was on his lap, nuzzling myself into the side of his knee.
“I was bringing Wes back to his bed,” he explained. “I didn’t want your parents to wake up and wonder where he was.”
“Oh,” I murmured, still somewhat asleep. “I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I woke up without you next to me since we met. It was weird. I didn’t like it.”
“Now you know why I get angry when I wake up in the middle of the night to find that you’ve snuck out of the bed.”
“To go to the bathroom!” I said, feeling defensive. “Would you rather I wake you up and say, hey, Ace, I have to go piss?”
“Yes, I would much prefer that.” His warm gaze traveled over my face. “Are you okay? I swear, I could e I talked to you,hear your heart pounding when I walked back into the room.”
I nodded. “I had a nightmare. And then when I woke up and you weren’t here, I got a little freaked out.
But I’m okay now.”
Ace’s expression hardened. “A nightmare? I’m sorry I wasn’t here, sweetheart. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It… I think it was in a hospital room. There was this strange man and…” I shook my head. “I honestly don’t really remember. It’s all starting to fade. It was unnerving though.”
He ran his thumb over the spot between my brows, smoothing out the wrinkles.
“Do you have a headache? Your brow always furrows like this right before you get a migraine.”
“Just a small one.”
Ace gently untangled me from his tree trunk of a thigh and scooped me up into his arms. Then he laid back down with me on top of him, chest to chest, just like we had been before.
“Thank you for taking care of Wes,” I whispered.
I didn’t think through my next actions as I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his in a quick kiss that
ody. Instead, all I made my mouth explode with sparks.
Ace’s body tensed beneath mine. I jerked back, horror racing through my nerves. I slapped my hand over my mouth.
Holy shit, I just kissed Ace. I just kissed Ace!
I wasn’t sure why I did it. I suppose so many days with such minimal physical contact had made me desperate to feel closer to him.
“I-I…I didn’t mean…,” I stuttered. My heart felt like it was beating out of my throat.
“I’m sorry—”
“It’s okay, Doe,” he said. “Don’t overthink it and start panicking on me now. Let’s just go back to sleep. We still have time before we have to get ready for school. You need rest.”
Before I could respond, he leaned down and started sucking on the bump on my throat, silencing and relaxing me at the same time.
My brain turned to mush, and all my thoughts and worries left my head.
And with his hand running up and down my spine, and him gently sucking on my throat, I couldn’t help but follow his instructions and fall back to sleep.
My panic would just have to wait until later. ke up and wonder
*** My panic was officially here.
The kiss was the only thing on my mind from the moment my alarm went off.
Ace stirred beneath me as I reached from atop his chest to stop the beeping, then I let out a heavy sigh. nd say, hey, Ace, I wasn’t sure if I should stay on top of him or get off.
Maybe you should just wait for him to tell you what to do since you basically threw yourself at him last
night! Oh, how the tables have turned.? I swear, I could I was so embarrassed. I kissed Ace. And not only was my best friend my first-ever kiss, but he’d disregarded it completely.ittle freaked out.
At least he still had his arms wrapped around me even though he was obviously awake. That was a
good sign, right?
“Doe,” Ace moaned.
I loved his morning voice, so husky and deep. I especially loved it when he said my name like that.head. “I honestly “Yeah?” I replied meekly, keeping my head on his chest. I couldn’t look at him.
“Please tell me you’re not still worrying about the kiss. I can feel how tense you are, and it’s eating away at me. It really wasn’t that big of a deal.”
I pushed my face into his neck, needing to be closer to him. “I’m sorry. Are…are you mad?” I whispered against his skin.
Ace stiffened. “Mad? You think I’m mad that you kissed me?”
I shrugged, still not looking at him out of fear of what I might find on his face. “I-I don’t know. You didn’t really say anything after it happened.”n a quick kiss that I truly couldn’t gauge how he felt about it. He didn’t push me away. But he also didn’t pull me closer.
And while he didn’t get mad, he also didn’t tell me he liked it.
He massaged the back of my neck. “I’m not mad, Doe. Far from it.”
I relaxed against him. “I didn’t mean to do it,” I murmured. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. I understand why you did it.
“And if driving myself crazy trying not to touch you means you kiss me again, then I’ll just have to stay away from you more often. That kiss was the only thing that made all of it somewhat worth it.”
“You didn’t mind?” I finally looked up at him.
“Did I mind feeling your sweet lips press against mine? Did I mind being your first kiss?” He chuckled.
“No, I didn’t mind. Not even a little bit. I give you permission to kiss me anytime you want.”
My eyes were already straying to his lips as I remembered what they had felt like.
Does he mean, like, right now?
“So”—I swallowed—“you want me to do it again?”
His jaw flexed. “Only if you want to.”
That was not the answer I was hoping for.
I slumped in defeat and frustration, letting my body fall to the side so I was lying on the mattress, my legs strewn over him. It was all so confusing.
“Why can’t you ever just give me a straight answer?” I grumbled.
Ace laughed and patted my leg. “Don’t pout, baby girl. I already told you: tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you. You’re in complete control of this situation.”
I sat up on my elbows, frowning at him. “Of what situation?”
“Of our situation, of course.”
Right, because that makes so much sense.urself at him last
With that, Ace lifted my legs and pushed himself off the bed. He was silent as he pulled on his jeans and shirt, getting ready to leave.
“Ace?” I asked, just as he finished lacing up his shoes.
He walked to my bedside table and grabbed his watch to strap it onto his wrist.
“Yeah?”
“Y-you can touch me again today.” Warmth climbed my neck. “If you want.
“I-I mean, I know you’ve been trying to be respectful and everything since I asked you to do that, and you really have been doing a great job.
“But… I don’t think I would m-mind if you touched me again… like you used to.”
The grin that took over Ace’s face was dazzling and huge and nearly took my breath away. The next thing I knew, he was lifting me in his arms, placing quick kisses all over my face.
“Fuck, you have no idea how happy you just made me.” He settled his forehead against mine, letting out a deep breath. “I’ve missed my Doe.”
I bit my lip, his words going straight to my soul, warming it like a fire on a cold winter’s night. We had barely spent any time apart over the last week, but I knew exactly what he meant.
“I missed you too,” I whispered back.
After another quick peck on the cheek, Ace was out the window, and I sat on the edge of my bed, staring down at my phone. I nervously chewed on my bottom lip as I pulled up Marta’s number.
Dorothy Are you still willing to help me come up with a plan on how to tell Ace I like him?
Her reply was almost instant.
s?” He chuckled.Marta
Oh, hell, yeah! And I have the perfect idea. Do you still have that pink sun dress you wore to my birthday party?
With that, Ace lifted my legs and pushed himself off the bed. He was silent as he pulled on his jeans and shirt, getting ready to leave.
“Ace?” I asked, just as he finished lacing up his shoes.
He walked to my bedside table and grabbed his watch to strap it onto his wrist.
“Yeah?”
“Y-you can touch me again today.” Warmth climbed my neck. “If you want.
“I-I mean, I know you’ve been trying to be respectful and everything since I asked you to do that, and you really have been doing a great job.
“But… I don’t think I would m-mind if you touched me again… like you used to.”
The grin that took over Ace’s face was dazzling and huge and nearly took my breath away. The next thing I knew, he was lifting me in his arms, placing quick kisses all over my face.
“Fuck, you have no idea how happy you just made me.” He settled his forehead against mine, letting out a deep breath. “I’ve missed my Doe.”
I bit my lip, his words going straight to my soul, warming it like a fire on a cold winter’s night. We had barely spent any time apart over the last week, but I knew exactly what he meant.
“I missed you too,” I whispered back.
After another quick peck on the cheek, Ace was out the window, and I sat on the edge of my bed, staring down at my phone. I nervously chewed on my bottom lip as I pulled up Marta’s number.
Dorothy Are you still willing to help me come up with a plan on how to tell Ace I like him?
Her reply was almost instant.
Marta Oh, hell, yeah! And I have the perfect idea. Do you still have that pink sun dress you wore to my birthday party?
