YEAH
I did,
I said,
hoping he would
come back with
I’m not dead or I
faked my death or
something like that.
Or maybe
I’d wake up, sit
straight up
in bed,
the gun still tucked
under my pillow,
my mother still asleep at the kitchen table.
A dream.
Buck looked at me,
noticing my panic, softly said,
I am.