CHAPTER 12
Maya
“NO,” I SAID. “WE ARENOT SLEEPING IN THE CAR overnight.
There has to be a way out of here.”
“You think Iwant to sleep here in this?” Sebastian gestured at his drenched clothing. Dark sludge coated the bottoms of his jeans, and his shirt and jacket were soaked through. “If you have a brilliant solution, I’m all ears.”
“We’ll call the police. You can still dial 911 with no cell service.” But when I tried, I kept getting a busy signal.
“Comeon!” I jabbed furiously at the redial button.
What was the point of an emergency line if you couldn’t get through to them during an actual emergency?
“The lines are probably jammed,” Sebastian said, cutting the engine. We couldn’t keep the car running all night if we wanted it to have enough gas in the morning. “I bet there are a ton of accidents due to the storm. Even if you get through to them, we’ll be low on their priority list.”
My parents hadn’t raised a quitter, but even I knew when to admit defeat.
I slumped against my seat, my goose bumps multiplying as the rain intensified again. It was so thick I couldn’t see two feet in front of me.
Were there wild animals in these woods? Or, worse, humans? It seemed like the type of place and night where serial killers flourished. Maybe there was one standing right behind our car, waiting for us to lower our guard so they could hack us to pieces.
I shuddered.That’s it. No more true crime podcasts.
“We should’ve stuck to the highway,” I said. “This would’ve never happened if you hadn’t insisted on taking the scenic route.”
“The scenic route?” he sputtered. “You agreed to do this!
Don’t act like I forced you. Also, you were in charge of navigating and decided we should turn into the fucking woods. So if there’s anyone to blame here, it’s you.”
“I didn’t decide anything. That’s what the app told me to
do!”
“Apps aren’t always right!”
“Easy for you to say in hindsight! You’re the driver. You didn’thave to turn in here. So don’t go trying to pin this on me.”
We glared at each other, our chests heaving. A dim splash of light cast shadows over the stubborn set of his mouth, and I was tempted to… to…ugh.
I tore my eyes away from his and tried to calm the furious beats of my heart. I was getting bombarded with a thousand emotions at once, and while it would feel so good to unleash them all on Sebastian, I knew deep down this wasn’t his fault.
It wasneither of our faults. We got hit with bad luck, and we just had to ride it out.
Sebastian must’ve reached the same conclusion because he didn’t say anything else.
We fell silent, our burst of hostility softening into disgruntled acceptance.
The fact of the matter was, we were stuck together for the night. I didn’t want to spend it fighting with the only company I had.
When I glanced at Sebastian again, he was staring straight ahead, his jaw tight. His clothes had dried a bit, but still, he must’ve been freezing.
His posture was unnaturally rigid, like he was forcing himself not to move, but one tiny shiver slipped through.
I pressed my lips together.Don’t. Mind your own business.
If he wanted to stay in damp clothes all night, who was I to stop him?
Another shiver betrayed him, and I released a frustrated breath. Sometimes, I really hated myself. “You should change, or you’ll get sick,” I said.
“I’m fine. My clothes have mostly dried.”
“Damp is not the same as dry. If you sleep overnight in that”—I gestured at his outfit—“you’ll catch pneumonia.”
He flicked a sideways glance at me. There was a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Your concern is touching.”
I blushed. “I only care because I don’t want to be stuck with a frozen corpse in the morning,” I said loftily. “Body disposal is not on my bucket list of experiences.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Sal.” But after a moment’s hesitation, Sebastian opened the door and ducked out into the rain. He came back a minute later with his duffel bag in hand and water dripping from his hair.
I reached over and started the engine. Heat blasted through the vents. “We can turn it off once we’ve warmed up.”
Sebastian looked at me again. This time, his expression was inscrutable, but he retrieved a pair of sweats and tossed his duffel in the back seat without responding.
A beat passed before he said, “Are you going to turn away, or do you want to watch me strip?”
My blush erupted into a full-blown wildfire. “Hardly. This night is awful enough without having to see your… your…” I floundered, trying to come up with something negative to say about his physique. Unfortunately, it was sculpted like a
fucking Greek statue.
His smile turned devilish. “My…?”
“Oh, just shut up and change,” I grumbled. I stared out the window, ignoring his low chuckle.
But the car was only so big, and I caught bits and pieces of his reflection in the rain-splattered glass.
The broad span of his shoulders. The flex of his arms as he pulled his shirt over his head. The careless confidence with which he moved.
Awareness curled low inside me. Every rustle of clothing sounded abnormally loud in the contained space, and the more I tried to ignore it, the more my muscles tensed.
I stared fixedly at a water droplet sliding down the glass. I was so determined not to pay attention to what was happening behind me that I nearly jumped out of my skin
when Sebastian spoke again.
“You can turn around.”
I swallowed. I smoothed my features into what was hopefully a neutral expression and peeked at the driver’s seat.
Sebastian was fully dressed in a black hoodie and sweatpants. His hair was still damp, but his skin had regained its healthy color.
He shoved a sweatshirt toward me. “Put this on.”
“I don’t need it.”
My fitted turtleneck and jeans weren’t the most comfortable sleepwear, but the silk pajamas I’d packed for the trip weren’t exactly made for extreme weather.
“That flimsy little sweater won’t be warm enough once
we turn the heat off,” Sebastian said.
“I have a coat.”
“You’re going to sleep in Max Mara cashmere.” He sounded skeptical.
“No. I’ll use it as a blanket.” I draped the coat over my torso. “See?”
Sebastian released a sharp exhale. “Maya,” he said. “Put
the damn sweatshirt on.”
I looked down at my wool turtleneck. Then I looked at the thick, oversized-on-me hoodie in his hands.
Dammit.
I took his offering without another word and slipped it over my head. Warmth cocooned me, and I almost sighed in bliss. I hadn’t realized how cold I was until I’d added that extra layer.
The sweater smelled like him, crisp and clean with just enough spice to tease my senses. I resisted the urge to bury my face in the fabric.
“Did you bring any snacks?” I asked. Now that we were out of imminent danger, my stomach took center stage again. As if on cue, it released another angry growl. “I only have two protein bars and a bottle of water.”
I usually packed a bunch of snacks when traveling, but since Sebastian picked me up straight from Vivian’s building, I only had what was in my purse.
“I have some Gatorade and pretzels, but that’s it,” he said.
I forced myself not to think of the pizza and fries I’d planned to order from room service as we split the bag of pretzels and a protein bar. We saved the second bar for breakfast, and I was about to wash my food down with a sip of water when an eerie howl pierced the air.
I froze, my pulse skittering. “Did you hear that? What was that?”
“Probably just the wind.” But Sebastian double-checked to make sure the doors were locked before he cut off the engine again.
Ominous silence fell. There was another howl in the distance, followed by a loud clatter that I had no interest in investigating.
I sank deeper into my seat and pulled the hood up over
my head.
This was going to be a long night.
Despite the temptation to stay awake until morning so I wouldn’t get murdered in my sleep, exhaustion won out.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke up the next morning, I was lying across the back seat of the car.
How did I get here from the passenger seat?
My coat was draped over me like a blanket, and a folded men’s sweater served as my pillow. Sebastian’s duffel sat on the floor, partially zipped.
I propped myself up on one elbow and blinked the grogginess out of my eyes. It took me a second to orient myself and remember what happened last night.
Thunderstorm. Faulty GPS. Stuck in the woods.
I groaned, wishing I’d had the foresight to hire a professional car service instead of road tripping with Sebastian.
At least it’d stopped raining. The sky was bright and sunny, and I could even hear a few birds chirping outside.
I sat up all the way and leaned forward. “Seb, did you…”
My sentence trailed off when I noticed both front seats were
empty.
Sebastian was gone.
My stomach clenched as I frantically scanned the area around the car. Nothing.
Where was he? Had he left me to fend for myself, or had an axe murderer dragged him away and butchered him while I was sleeping?
I threw my coat on and scrambled outside. My feet sank into the squishy mud surrounding the SUV as I searched for a familiar head of dark hair.
“Sebastian?” My voice echoed amongst the trees. “Where
are you?”
No response.
Okay. That was fine. This was fine. Everything wasjust fine.
Think, Maya, think. I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes in an effort not to freak the fuck out.
Sebastian had the keys, so I couldn’t drive anywhere even if I managed to get the car unstuck. A quick check revealed my phone was dead, and I couldn’t charge it because, once again, I didn’t have the keys to turn the engine on. That ruled out calling for help, even though cell service was probably still nonexistent.
“Seb!” I called out again. An image of his mangled body flashed through my mind, and my throat tightened. “This
isn’t funny!”
Still nothing.
Tears prickled my vision. I blinked them away, furious at myself for getting emotional when I should have been brainstorming a solution.
If Sebastian was gone, he was gone. Me yelling for him wouldn’t change things, yet I couldn’t bring myself to give up.
“Sebastian! I swear to God, if you’re fucking with me, I’ll kill you!” I spun around. “Where—”
“You have a habit of screaming first thing in the morning, don’t you?” a familiar voice drawled.
Sebastian came into view a second later. He was wearing the same sweats as last night and appeared perfectly whole, healthy, and alive.
I’d never been so happy to see his stupid smirk.
“Where the hell were you?” I demanded. My voice sounded thicker than usual.
“Nature called. You were sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb you.” His smirk melted as he looked down at me.
“Are you crying?”
“No.”I thought you were dead, you idiot. A tear escaped down my cheek, and I wiped it off with more force than necessary. “I mean, yes, but it’s because I’m so hungry. I get, um, emotional when I don’t eat a proper breakfast.”
He gave me a strange look, but he didn’t question my
lame excuse.
“I checked out our situation earlier,” he said. “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”
“Bad.”
“I can’t get the car unstuck.” He nodded at the tires. He’d placed floor mats beneath them for better traction, but that obviously wasn’t enough. “The mud is too deep, and the SUV is too heavy.”
“Fuck. Okay.” I breathed in deep. “What’s the good news?”
“We can follow the path back to the main road. It shouldn’t be that far. Once we get there, we can look for help.”
It made sense, but the thought of leaving the relative safety of the car to go traipsing through the woods made me antsy. “Are we leaving our stuff here?”
“We can bring the essentials, but anything more will slow us down.”
I didn’t like it, but we had no choice. Our car was stuck, our phones were useless, and our food supply had dwindled to half a bottle of Gatorade and a protein bar. Plus, it was almost noon; we’dway overslept. If we didn’t find help soon, we’d starve to death or worse.
I didn’t mention the chocolate bonbon he’d tossed at me last summer, which was still sitting at the bottom of my purse.
Sebastian and I packed our must-have items in his duffel bag and set off. It started out fine. The path was a straight shot back to the main road—until it wasn’t.
“You’vegot to be kidding me.” I stared in dismay at the expanse of churned mud and broken undergrowth before us.
The remainder of the path had been completely washed away by the rain, and it was impossible to gauge where it used to be.
The universe surely had it out for us, but this was an unprecedented string of bad luck. It was almost comical,
except I didn’t feel like laughing.
“Look on the bright side,” Sebastian said. “We can only go left, right, or straight, so we have a decent chance of
getting it right.”
“That is not a bright side.”
“I know.” He sounded tired. “But it’s all I got.”
After a short debate, we opted to go straight.
My stomach rumbled, unsatisfied with the half a protein bar I’d fed it for breakfast, but its grouchiness took a back seat to my feet.
I hadn’t packed sneakers, so I was forced to hike through the woods in leather flats. They weren’t made for long distances, but it was either that, my black stiletto pumps, or my fluffy bedroom slippers, the latter two of which I’d left in the car.
“How are you holding up?” Sebastian asked.
“Fine,” I lied.
The discomfort of the flats rubbing against my heels had morphed into outright pain, but unless he had an extra pair of women’s sneakers stashed in his bag, he couldn’t help me.
He slowed down and waited for me to catch up. “You’re limping.”
“I’m okay,” I insisted. “Let’s keep going. I want to get to the main road before it gets dark.”
Based on the sun’s position, it was already past noon. It was also early November, which meant darkness fell much earlier.
I’d been nervous enough sleeping in the car; sleeping in the woods without shelter would be worse. Way worse.
A shudder rippled through me.
The fear helped me push through the next half mile, but after that, a fresh spike of pain sliced through me.
I gritted my teeth.Keep going. We were almost there. We had to be.
My breaths came out in short pants. Something wet
smeared against my heels, causing me to nearly slip out of my flats. I stumbled and would’ve fallen flat on my face had a strong hand not grasped my elbow.
Sebastian stared down at me, his face etched with horror.
“You’re bleeding.”
“It’s a small cut. It’s not a big deal,” I panted.
“Maya.” His grip tightened. “You’rebleeding.”
I followed his gaze to my feet and almost whimpered when I saw the bloody mess awaiting me. No wonder I was in agony; the skin on my heels had been rubbed completely raw.
“Fuck, I can’t believe I didn’t notice earlier. I was so focused on—” Sebastian stopped. His jaw worked as though he were debating what to say next. “Take off your shoes.”
“I can’t walk through the woods barefoot,” I protested.
“You’re not. I’m going to carry you.”
Something unsettling flickered in my chest before I shut it down. “You can’t. You have no idea how far we are from the main road. It could be miles.”
“I’m well aware,” he said, his expression neutral.
The flicker burst to life again. This time, I couldn’t squash it.
I didn’t want to waste more time arguing, so I did as he said and took off my flats. He wrapped them in one of his shirts and tossed them in his bag.
I hesitated for a split second before I climbed onto his back and hooked my arms and legs around him. Between me and his duffel bag, he was carrying a good amount of weight, but he simply adjusted his grip beneath my thighs and started walking again like I weighed no more than a rag doll.
His breaths were steady and even, and his back was reassuringly solid against my chest. It was… nice. We were still screwed ten ways to Sunday, but there was something about Sebastian’s presence that made the situation a teensy bit better, though I’d never admit it.
We hit a patch of rough ground, and I almost instinctively buried my face in his shoulder before I caught myself.
Stop it. He is notyour emotional support companion.
You’re here together by default, not choice.
I repeated the mantra until my pulse stopped pounding.
I needed to get back to civilization ASAP. The wilderness was clearly messing with my brain.
The forest was huge, and we continued on for what felt like hours before we took a break. He set me down, and cool air rushed to fill the void left by the warmth of his body.
I looked around at the clearing. It was identical to every other clearing we’d passed that day. “We’re lost again.” It
wasn’t a question.
Sebastian blew out a sigh. “Yeah.”
The sun hung low in the sky, and I tasted the first bite of evening chill. It was going to be dark soon, and our chances of finding the main road before then were slim.
I waited for fear to set in, but I didn’t feel anything except numb exhaustion. Was this what giving up felt like? Had I already resigned myself to the fact that we might die in these woods?
I thought I was more resilient than that, but I hadn’t eaten all day, and I didn’t have enough energy to freak out.
“We should set up camp here,” Sebastian said. “We won’t get far before the sun sets, and I want to get a fire going before it does. I’ll handle the fire; you set up something for us to sleep on.”
Normally, I wouldn’t take orders from him, but he was right. Our clothes weren’t warm enough for sleeping outdoors, and if we didn’t get a fire started soon, we really were going to freeze.
Thankfully, we’d had the foresight to bring a change of outfits. I cleared away some branches and twigs and formed a makeshift bed with our sweaters and pants. We could use our coats as blankets again. Hopefully, that and the fire would be enough.
I was a little worried the wood would be too damp from last night’s storm, but Sebastian found enough dry tinder to make it work. He even brought back a bunch of wild berries from his wood-hunting expedition.
“Dinner.” He dropped a handful in my palms. “Don’t worry. They’re safe to eat.”
I eyed them suspiciously even as my stomach leapt with anticipation. “Are you sure?”
“I’m eighty percent sure.” Sebastian popped one in his mouth. “If I fall to the ground and start convulsing, then I guess I was wrong.”
“That’s not funny,” I grumbled. Nevertheless, I cautiously ate one. A sweet burst of flavor exploded on my tongue, and after I confirmed they weren’t poisonous, I scarfed down the rest in quick succession.
“If you were to die tomorrow, what would you want your last meal to be?” I asked through a mouthful of berry juice. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
If my mother saw me eating like this, she’d have my head, but screw it. This wasn’t a Michelin-starred restaurant, and dining etiquette was the least of my worries right now.
Sebastian side-eyed me. “A bit of a morbid topic given the circumstances, don’t you think?” But his brow knitted in concentration before he said, “A5 Wagyu steak, medium rare, and freshly caught lobster tail with rosemary garlic mashed potatoes on the side and a perfectly executed crème brûlée for dessert. Plus a glass of 1926 Macallan Adami to wash it all down. What about you?”
“Hmm.” I chewed thoughtfully on my last berry.
“Chocolate, definitely. A nice, big slice of chocolate cake paired with a chocolate milkshake—the good kind that’s so thick it’s almost like ice cream, not the watery kind. For the main course, I want truffle tagliatelle and burrata pizza with a side of sweet potato fries. Oh, and lots and lots of strawberries. They’re my favorite fruit.”
“I know.” Sebastian’s mouth quirked. “I remember when
you cleared out that farmer’s stand in the Hamptons. I’ve never seen someone eat so many strawberries so fast.”
“I was twelve!” I said defensively. “I was at the beach all day, and I was hungry. Plus, those strawberries were really good.”
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing. It was kind of endearing.”
His grin widened. “Almost as endearing as when you threw up later from eating so fast.”
“If you’re going to bring up embarrassing moments from my past, I can do the same, Mr. Fell-Into-A-Pool-In-His-Brioni- Suit.”
“I still looked good,” he said, unfazed. “I got half a dozen
numbers after that.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course he had.
Our shadows lengthened. The sun had set while we were talking, but the fire crackled with reassuring steadiness as we sat side by side, letting its warmth seep into our chilled bones.
“Do you think it’s worth it?” I asked, staring at the flames.
Their orange glow was almost hypnotic. “Everything you’ve experienced and accomplished so far. If this was really our last day on earth, would you be happy with the life you’ve lived?”
Sebastian added another piece of wood to the fire. The flames leapt higher, illuminating the sculpted lines of his
profile. “Parts of it.”
“Which ones?”
“The ones where I felt fulfilled,” he said after a long pause. “The places I’ve visited and the things I’ve learned.
The moments where I was so consumed by what was happening that I didn’t have to worry about anything else.”
“And the parts you’re not happy with?”
Sebastian glanced at me. A trace of melancholy passed through his eyes before it quickly vanished.
“Maybe I’ll tell you in another life.” He nudged my knee with his, the familiar gesture sending an unexpected jolt up
my leg. “Just because we might die here together doesn’t mean you get access to all my deep, dark secrets.”
“What makes you so sure we’d know each other in another life?”
“Because I can’t imagine any life without you there to drive me completely insane.”
He meant that in a negative way. He had to have.
It didn’t make sense, then, why those words sank so deeply beneath my skin, they branded themselves onto my heart.
Our gazes found each other, and for a moment, the air between us turned electric.
Then Sebastian blinked, and all was normal again.
He glanced away at the fire before returning his attention to me. “Your turn,” he said. “Would you be happy with the life you’ve lived?”
“No,” I admitted. “I would feel…”Like I’ve wasted the years chasing something that didn’t exist. Like I’ve failed and placed importance on all the wrong priorities. I know that, but I can’t stop doing it because I am the way that I am, and sometimes, I hate myself for it.
But I couldn’t say any of that. If I voiced my fears, it would make them real, and I didn’t do real. Not when it came to stuff like this.
“I would feel incomplete,” I finished. “There are some things I haven’t checked off my bucket list yet.”
“Like?”
“Like winning a Nobel Prize. Or running a marathon. Or falling in love.” The last part slipped out unconsciously, but it was too late to take it back.
Sebastian’s eyebrows rose. “You’re telling me you’ve never been in love before?”
“I’ve loved some of my exes,” I said slowly. “I think it’s hard for me to stay with someone unless I truly care about them. But I’ve never experiencedit, you know. That big, all- consuming love that makes me willing to do anything to be
with them.” I shrugged, self-conscious. “I don’t know. Maybe that type of love is a myth, and I’m waiting for something that doesn’t exist. But it’s nice to think that it does.”
“It exists,” Sebastian said with surprising conviction.
“Look at Queen Bridget and Prince Rhys of Eldorra. They overturned a centuries-old law to be together. Hell, look at some of our friends. If Vukwillingly attending parties for Ayana isn’t a sign of true love, I don’t know what is.”
I let out a soft laugh. “True.”
“Maya Singh, a romantic.” Sebastian’s mouth curved in the faintest smile. “Who would’ve thought?”
“Don’t tell anyone, or you’ll find yourself in that next life sooner than expected,” I warned. “I guess I don’t have to ask if you’ve ever been in love. The answer is obviously no.”
Sebastian had cycled through dozens of casual girlfriends. He never dated anyone for more than a few months, and sometimes, I got the sense he tolerated their company more than he enjoyed it. I’d certainly never seen him light up in any of their presences.
I expected him to agree right off the bat, but he hesitated for a beat first.
“Obviously,” he said. He nodded at our makeshift bed.
“We should get some rest. The earlier we go to bed, the earlier we can wake up and get a head start on the day. I really don’t want to spend a second night here.”
“You and me both.” I made a concerted effort not to look into the trees. As long as I stayed within the glow of the fire, I was safe. Hopefully. Anything that existed beyond that was none of my business. “Should we take turns standing guard?”
Sebastian snorted. “I think you’ve watched too many survival dramas.”
“Excuse me for trying to keep us alive,” I huffed. But I was secretly grateful I wouldn’t have to stay awake by myself as I lay down and snuggled beneath my coat.
Sebastian settled beside me, tucking me between the
fire and the curve of his body. My back pressed against his chest, and I sucked in a surprised breath when his arms wrapped around my waist.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he said gruffly. “This is for body warmth.”
I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. Awareness ran the length of my spine, and though a spark of self-preservation told me I should disentangle myself ASAP, I didn’t.
Iwas warmer with him around me, and I liked how his body acted as a shield against the night. He felt safe, and that was something I desperately needed right now.
The combination of heat, hunger, and exhaustion pulled me under, and I gradually drifted into a hazy half-sleep. I thought I heard him speak, but I was so far gone it might’ve been a dream.
“For what it’s worth…” Sebastian’s voice was barely audible beneath the crackle of the fire. “If I could choose someone to spend my last hours with, I’d choose you.”