My mother sat down across from me. She sighed. “I was afraid this was going to happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s more complicated than just you and Conrad. There are more people involved than just the two of you.”
I wanted to scream at her, to tel her how insensitive, how cruel she was, and couldn’t she see my heart was literal y breaking? But when I looked up at her face, I bit back the words and swal owed them down. She was right.
There was more to worry about than just my stupid heart. There was Susannah to think of. She was going to be so disappointed. I hated to disappoint her.
“Don’t worry about Beck,” my mother told me, her voice gentle. “I’l tel her.
You want me to fix you something to eat?”
I said yes.
Later, in my room, alone again, I told myself it was better this way. That he’d been wanting to end things al along, so it was better that I said it first. I didn’t believe a word of it. If he’d cal ed and asked for me back, if he’d showed up at the house with flowers or a stereo on his shoulders playing our song—did we even have a song? I didn’t know, but if he’d made even the tiniest gesture, I’d have taken him back, gladly. But Conrad didn’t cal .
When I found out Susannah was worse, that she wasn’t going to get any better, I cal ed, once. He didn’t pick up, and I didn’t leave a message. If he had picked up, if he’d cal ed me back, I don’t know what I would have said.
And that was it. We were over.
chapter thirteen
JEREMIAH
When my mom found out Conrad was taking Bel y to prom, she freaked out. She was insanely happy. You’d have thought they were getting married or something.
I hadn’t seen her happy like that in a long time, and part of me was glad that he could give her that. But mostly I was just jealous. My mom kept cal ing him at school, reminding him of things like to make sure he rented his tux in time. She said maybe he could borrow mine, and I said I doubted it would fit. She left it at that, which I was relieved about. I ended up going to some girl from Col egiate’s prom that night so he couldn’t have worn it anyway. The point is, even if he could have, I wouldn’t have wanted him to.
She made him promise that he’d be sweet to her, the perfect gentleman. She said, “Make it a night she’l always remember.”
When I got home the afternoon after prom, Conrad’s car was in the driveway, which was weird. I’d thought he was staying at Laurel’s house and then going straight back to school. I stopped by his room, but he was asleep, and pretty soon after, I passed out too.
That night we ordered Chinese food that Mom said she was in the mood for, but when it came, she didn’t eat any.
We ate in the TV room, on the couch, something we never did before she got sick. “So?” she asked, looking at Conrad al eagerly. It was the most energetic I’d seen her al day.
He was shoving a spring rol down his throat, like he was in some big hurry.
And he’d brought al this laundry home with him, like he expected Mom to do it.
“So what?” he asked.
“So you made me wait al day to hear about the prom! I want to know everything!”
“‘Oh, that,’” he said. He had this embarrassed look on his face, and I knew he didn’t want to talk about it. I was sure he’d done something to screw it up.
“‘Oh, that,’” my mom teased. “Come on, Connie, give me some details.
How did she look in her dress? Did you dance? I want to hear everything.
I’m stil waiting on Laurel to email me the pictures.”
“It was okay,” Conrad said.
“That’s it?” I said. I was annoyed with him that night, with everything about him. He’d gotten to take Bel y to her prom and he acted like it was some big chore. If it had been me, I would have done it right.
Conrad ignored me. “She looked real y pretty. She wore a purple dress.”
My mom nodded, smiling. “I know exactly the one. How’d the corsage look?”
He shifted in his seat. “It looked nice.”
“Did you end up getting the kind you pin on or the kind you wear on your wrist?”
“The kind you pin on,” he said.
“And did you dance?”
“Yeah, a lot,” he said. “We danced, like, every song.”
“What was the theme?”
“I don’t remember,” Conrad said, and when my mother looked disappointed he added, “I think it was A Night on the Continent. It was, like, a tour of Europe.
They had a big Eiffel Tower with Christmas tree lights on it, and a London Bridge you could walk across. And a Leaning Tower of Pisa.”
I looked over at him. A Night on the Continent was our school’s prom theme last year; I know because I was there.
But I guess my mother didn’t remember, because she said, “Oh, that sounds so nice. I wish I could’ve been at Laurel’s house to help Bel y get ready.
I’m gonna cal Laure tonight and bug her to send me those pictures. When do you think you’l get the professional pictures back? I want to get them framed.”
“I’m not sure,” he said.
“Ask Bel y, wil you?” She set her plate down on the coffee table and leaned back against the couch cushions. She looked exhausted al of a sudden.
“I wil ,” he said.
“I think I’m going to bed now,” she said. “Jere, wil you get al this cleaned up?”“Sure, Mom,” I said, helping her to her feet.
She kissed us both on the cheek and went to her bedroom. We’d moved the study upstairs and put her bedroom downstairs so she didn’t have to go up and down the stairs.
When she was gone, I said, sarcastical y, “So you guys danced al night, huh?”
“Just leave it,” Conrad said, leaning his head back against the couch.
“Did you even go to the prom? Or did you lie to Mom about that, too?”
He glared at me. “Yeah, I went.”
“Wel , somehow I doubt you guys danced al night,” I said. I felt like a jerk but I just couldn’t let it go.
“Why do you have to be such a dick? What do you care about the prom?”
I shrugged. “I just hope you didn’t ruin it for her. What are you even doing here, anyway?”
