Chapter
Nineteen
orae flew back to the palace at breakneck speed. I curled into her warm fur and focused on stilling my trembling limbs andS chattering teeth.
My healer’s instincts wondered if calling forth so much of my power without a release had sent me into some kind of magical shock. It was a painful reminder of how much I still had to learn—about this world, this magic, and even my own body.
I tried to rest, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw my father’s tear-streaked face. What would I say to him, when I finally saw him? What could I say?
We approached the palace, and Sorae glided seamlessly onto her perch. I nearly collapsed on wobbling knees as I dismounted, but Sorae swung her long neck under my arms to keep me upright until I made it to a couch near an archway in the parlor.
My sweet gryvern fussed over me like a mother hen. She breathed a fresh fire into the hearth and tugged a blanket over me with her toothy jaws. Only when my tremors stopped and my breathing soothed to a healthier rhythm did she finally stop pacing as if I might perish at any moment. She then took up her role as sentinel, perching stiffly near my side and glaring at the door with wings high.
“You’re supposed to obey my commands, not Luther’s,” I said with a weak smile. “We don’t like him, remember?”
She gave a series of short, angry snorts that sounded like I’m doing my job and You’re a terrible liar.
I reached out and brushed my fingers along the border between her reptilian neck and her leonine body, marveling at the way the dark, iridescent scales faded into coarse fur. “Thank you for helping me. I know you don’t have a choice, but... thank you anyway.”
She huffed again and draped a wing over my body. Its warmth sank into my bones, and soon I was pulled into a restless slumber plagued with dreams of fire and blue-grey eyes I couldn’t escape.
I AWOKE TO A LIGHT KNOCK, then a creaking door. Apprehension shot through me, but Sorae didn’t move an inch. If she wasn’t attacking, that must mean...
I bolted upright, her wing tumbling off me along with my blankets. At the door, Luther stood with a man shrouded beneath a heavy brown cloak. The man tugged on the hood until it fell to his back.
“Father,” I breathed.
His caramel eyes darted wildly around my face, my clothing, the room, the gryvern. He couldn’t take it all in fast enough.
Finally, they settled on the space above my head.
“It’s true,” he whispered. “You really are the new Queen.”
Luther, who was once again looking every inch the emotionless Prince, gave me a long stare. “I expect you’d like to speak in private.”
“We would,” my father answered on my behalf.
Luther held still, awaiting my confirmation. His iron facade cracked the tiniest bit, a hint of concern leaking through.
I managed a faint smile. “Yes. Thank you, Luther.”
His throat worked, hinting at words unsaid, before he gave a shallow bow and excused himself.
I stared at my father as I struggled to bottle my sea of thoughts into words and sentences.
“Did you know?” I asked. “Did you know I was a...” I hesitated, still struggling to admit this new reality out loud.
“I had suspicions,” he admitted. “When your eyes changed.”
“Did you ever ask Mother?”
Guilt worked its way into the creases of his weathered face. “No, I didn’t.”
“You suspected all these years, and you never said a thing? You just let her drug me with the flameroot to keep me hidden?”
“It was her choice to make.”
“You’re my father, you’re supposed to protect me,” I snapped, my voice rising. “Even from my own mother, if you have to.”
“You still consider me your father, then?”
My temper broke, and my eyes dropped guiltily to the floor. “Of course I do. What I said that night—I didn’t mean...”
He walked over and grabbed my arms, pulling me in for a fierce hug. His voice turned rough. “I said things I regret, too. I lost my temper. I was so scared there would be no one left to protect you and Teller when I left for the war.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Father.”
He clutched me tighter. “I’m sorry, too. My sweet Diem, I love you so much.”
My heart consumed my entire chest, burning through the anger and shame I had been holding in since that night.
He pulled back to look at me. “Teller knows, doesn’t he?” I nodded, and he huffed a laugh. “I knew that boy was acting funny. He kept making excuses to spend time with me at home. He hasn’t done that since he discovered girls.” He angled his
head. “And Henri?”
I flinched and nodded again.
He squeezed my shoulder. “He’ll understand. If he truly loves you, it won’t change how he feels.”
I didn’t know how to tell him that those words didn’t make me feel any better.
“Father, tell me the truth. Do you know who sired me?”
“No. I never lied to you about that.”
“Do you have any idea who it could be? Did Mother work with any Lumnos Descended in the army?”
“None that I know of. She had you while she was away on her final mission. I assumed it was someone she met during that time.”
“Where was it? Who went with her? Did she—”
“I don’t know any details. It was highly confidential. She wasn’t even supposed to confirm a mission happened at all. Only the King of Fortos would have the authority to tell you.”
I sank back down onto the couch, rubbing at my face. “I have too many questions, and no one can give me answers.”
My father joined me, and silence passed as we both steeped in the boil of this mystery that had consumed both of our lives.
His hand swept across my shoulders and tugged me close. I looked up, and my heart squeezed at the gentle understanding I saw on his face.
“You know none of this changes how I feel about you, right?” he asked. “You’re my little girl. You always will be, whether you’re Descended or mortal or anything else.”
Burning filled my eyes. I nodded and blinked furiously to push the emotion away. “Have you heard about the Challenging?”
“Yes. Others were discussing it at the funeral.” From his bitter tone, whatever he’d heard didn’t bode well for me.
“You’ll survive it,” he growled. “It’s just another battle. I’ve taught you everything you need to know.”
“It’s a battle of magic, not weapons or fists,” I said hoarsely. “They’ve been training for years. Centuries.”
“A battle is a battle.” He tapped a finger on my temple. “The weapon in your head is more important than the weapon in your hands. You’ve always been my bravest soldier. As long as you keep fighting, I know you can win.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “With any luck, I won’t have to. I made a bargain with Remis Corbois to claim his House in exchange for their help.”
The Commander side of him took control again as he gazed into the distance with a glassy stare, no doubt engrossed in strategy and warfare. He gave a curt nod. “Good,” he said finally. “I don’t trust him, but I would rather he be your ally than your enemy. You’ll need advisors, and he is a powerful one.”
“I do need advisors,” I agreed. “And I want you to be one of them. I have meetings soon with the Twenty Houses. I’d like you to attend as the military advisor on my Crown Council.”
He held up a palm. “Diem, I’m not sure that’s wise.”
“You advised King Ulther.”
“In private, not on his Council. And certainly not in meetings with other Descended.” He gave me a hard look of warning.
“I know how these people operate. They won’t like my being there.”
“I can’t trust anyone here,” I pushed. “I need one person in the room, just one person, who isn’t going to stab me the moment I turn my back.”
I sensed his turmoil as he frowned and weighed the bigger threat: abandoning me to the wolves or making himself the juicy bait that sent their mouths frothing.
“Please,” I begged. “I can’t do this alone.”
He scratched at his chin. “I suppose if I’m advising a Crown, the army might rescind my orders to deploy for the war. I could stay with Teller until he finishes school.”
I beamed. “It’s settled. You’re my newest advisor.”
He grunted a reluctant agreement. His eyes wandered over my shoulder, and I glanced back to see Sorae watching him with curiosity.
My smile spread at the wonder illuminating my father’s eyes. “Do you want to meet her?”
Sorae puffed her wings in a show of welcome, though my father paled, taking it as a warning.
He hesitated. “I saw the Ignios gryvern a few times while in the army. He’s a mean, nasty brute.”
Sorae let out the faintest whine, and an odd pulse of emotion I didn’t understand came across the bond she and I shared. I walked over and itched the underside of her chin. “Sorae’s only mean and nasty to the people who deserve it.”
She huffed in agreement.
My father edged forward in slow, tentative steps. His hand hovered close to her and froze. I pursed my lips to contain my smile and sent a silent push of encouragement down the bond.
She arched her neck and abruptly shoved her snout into his palm, rubbing it along the soft spots where she loved to be scratched.
A surprised laugh erupted from my father’s chest. He brought his other hand up to her head, making gentle motions along the scales and spikes that lined her upper body. Sorae’s eyes squeezed shut as a loud purr rumbled out of her.
I grinned. “She likes you.”
He eyed the sharp fangs poking out from the edge of her mouth. “Thank the gods for that. Can you really talk to her?”
“In a way. We can sense each other’s emotions, but sometimes I swear she knows exactly what I’m saying. She gives me a surprising amount of shit for a beast that can’t talk.”
Sorae snorted and whacked me across the back of my thighs with her tail, earning another bout of raucous laughter from my father.
The sound of my father’s happiness ignited my own, and for a few blissful moments, all my problems fell away. I watched in delight as he spoiled her with a series of aggressive belly rubs and loud, affectionate smacks to her haunches. Sorae reveled in the attention, her contentment coating our bond like the sweetest honey.
As much as I hated to do anything to stain this cherished pocket of joy we’d managed to find, there was one more topic lingering between us I couldn’t put off any longer.
“Father,” I started. “I need to know the truth. No more secrets. What do you really know about Mother’s disappearance?”
He stilled, then sighed and slowly stepped away from Sorae. He scrubbed a hand across his face, looking suddenly weary.
“She was planning a trip. She wouldn’t say where or why, only that she could be gone for a long time and she wouldn’t be able to contact me while she was away. But she swore she would warn me before she left. When she vanished without a word, I wasn’t sure whether...” He stopped, and the darkness of grief began to creep back into his features.
“Luther knows where she is,” I blurted out. His eyes grew wide. “But she made him promise not to tell me, and he’s determined to keep his word.”
His attention sharpened on the door, his body tensing, as if he might launch himself through it to go demand answers himself.
I stepped in front of him and gripped his hands. “He thinks she’s alive. He promised that if she hasn’t returned by the end of the year, he’ll get her and bring her back.”
“And you trust him?”
It was a question I had been asking myself over and over, reaching a different answer every time.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I think maybe I do.”
His eyes narrowed as he searched my face. I squirmed, knowing there was little that escaped my father once he fixed himself on a mission. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted him to see—or not see.
“I watched him down there with you today. I saw how he ran to your side when things went badly.” He cocked his head and gave me a pointed look. “When he came to fetch me... I’ve rarely seen a man look so desperate.”
I looked down and shrugged. “He’s helping me. As an advisor.”
Not entirely a lie. Not entirely the truth, either.
He waited for more, and when it became clear that I would neither explain nor meet his gaze, he turned his attention back to the chamber door with a thoughtful hum. “It all makes sense now. That letter. Him keeping you here after the fire.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
A loud knock rang out before he could respond. “Come in,” I called out, and the door swung open. Luther and Alixe strolled inside and bowed low in greeting.
“Alixe,” I said, “this is my father, Andrei Bellator. Father, this is Alixe Corbois.”
“Commander Bellator.” Alixe snapped to attention and crossed her forearms into a low X, the formal salute of the Emarion Army. “It’s an honor. I’m quite familiar with your impressive reputation.”
My father returned the salute with a respectful nod, looking surprised at her words.
“Alixe will take your father home when he’s ready,” Luther said.
“Or you could stay,” I said hopefully to my father, ignoring the way Luther and Alixe stiffened. “You and Teller could move in with me here at the palace.”
“No, sweetheart,” he answered with a slow shake of his head. “I’ll come as often as you need me, but my place is at home.” I started to protest, and he cut me off with a stern look. “If your mother returns, I want to be there.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I wanted the very same thing, and I couldn’t deny him that chance just because I was stuck in this cursed palace.
He dropped a kiss on my forehead and pulled me in for a crushing hug, then gave Sorae a swat to her rump, earning a satisfied rumble and a nudge of her nose against his chest.
Alixe raised her palms to my father, a soft glow forming at her hands. “You may feel a slight tingling,” she warned.
I watched in disbelief as his image wavered, then the spot he was standing in went suddenly vacant. “Where did he go?”
“I’m right here,” my father’s voice boomed.
“He’s—you’re—invisible?”
“I am?”
I ran toward his voice and reached into what looked like open air, my hands colliding with a solid form. I could touch him, even feel the heat he gave off, but to my eyes, there was nothing there.
“Holy shit!” I cried, my jaw hanging open.
“Language, Diem,” the bodyless voice scolded.
Alixe laughed, and Luther pressed his lips to fight back a smile. “Alixe can manipulate light magic to create visual illusions,” he explained.
I gaped at the space where my father stood. “That is the most impressive thing I’ve ever seen.”
Sorae clawed at the floor with a jealous snort.
“The second most impressive thing I’ve ever seen,” I amended.
Alixe gestured for my father to join her. Two invisible hands startled me as they cupped my face, my father’s voice whispering so only I could hear. “Be strong, soldier. Don’t let these Corbois make you forget that you’re a Bellator, understood?”
I forced my shoulders up and my back straight, then winked. “Aye, Commander.”
His laughter echoed, then the feeling of his rough touch fell away, leaving my chest feeling as empty as the space he stood in. His voice struck up a murmured conversation with Alixe about their old army days. As their footsteps faded into the corridor, a tiny fragment of my heart left with him.
