20
STELLA
“WE ARE NOT SERIOUSLY DOING this,” I hissed.
Theo and I stood in the middle of AJ’s childhood bedroom while he freshened up in the en suite. Any second now, he would walk back in here, expecting a fun little hookup with me and my boyfriend, and I was starting to panic.
Theo raised his brows. “Are you going to be the one to tell him you changed your mind?”
“No.” I poked him in the chest. “You are. You’re the one who started
this.”
“And you went along with it.”
“Because I didn’t think it would go this far!” I whisper-yelled.
“So do it,” he said, his expression lit with challenge. “Back down. Throw in the towel and admit defeat.”
I took a step back, suspicion worming through me. Was that what he wanted? A way out of this without having to be the one to do it? Or was this just another game? An attempt to see how far he could push me before I broke?
My spine went rigid with stubborn refusal. Suddenly, all of our bickering, all of our microaggressions and fights felt like they’d led up to this moment. I’d caved too many times, and even after our truce, he still made all the rules, all the decisions, controlled almost every aspect of our interactions. Sure, I pushed back where I could, but Theo always got what he wanted in the end.
Well, not this fucking time. Here, we had an audience, making it impossible for him to coerce or intimidate me. So yes, I would go along with it, for as long as I had to, because no way in hell was I backing down first.
I heard the sound of a doorknob turning and launched myself into Theo’s arms. He automatically wrapped them around my waist, his eyes wide as I grabbed his face and hauled his lips down, mashing our mouths together for the barest of moments before pulling away and pretending to be breathless.
“Getting started without me?” AJ said.
I sent Theo an evil grin before twisting in his arms. “Can you blame us?”
AJ shook his head. “No.”
I leaned against Theo’s chest and—holy shit. His dick. Fully aroused.
Pressing into my lower back. How long had he been hard?
“Come here,” Theo said, his tone gaining a husky edge as he extended a hand toward AJ. “I want to see your mouth on hers.”
Cool, cool, cool. This was fine. I could totally make out with AJ in front of Theo.
AJ strode toward us, his steps sure, just as handsome as I remembered: my height, trim but muscular, with an expressive face and beautifully curly hair. His skin was tanned to a light bronze, evidence of the recent vacation he’d been telling me about by the pool before Theo interrupted us.
AJ and I had been on-again-off-again throughout our teen years and into young adulthood, not because we’d had a tumultuous relationship, but because we’d always gotten along so well that whenever neither of us was seeing anyone (and sometimes even if we were) we’d wind up together at the end of a party, talking all night, before it turned into something else.
He was one of the few decent people in this world, which was wild considering his family had more wealth than some nations. Catching up after all this time had been … nice. Even when he’d gently chided me for cutting him off, like I had everyone else, after the car accident. I’d apologized, and he’d graciously accepted like the gentleman he was, asking how I’d been, admiring all my new tattoos and wanting to see more examples of my work. In that moment, I realized how much I’d missed him.
He stepped into me without hesitation, wrapping his arms around my waist and skirting his hands into the open back of my dress. The smile he sent Theo over my shoulder was lopsided and full of promise as he leaned in to kiss my neck, trapping Theo’s arms between us. It was easier to relax into his embrace than I anticipated, but then, I’d slept with AJ more times than I could count. Though it had been a while, my body still recognized the softness of his lips, the feel of his fingers stroking my skin.
Warmth pooled in my belly at the expectation of pleasure. AJ was unselfish in bed, insisting on making me come at least twice before he allowed himself to, and I wanted that right now. Because Theo was correct about one thing: It had been too long since I’d done this with someone, especially someone I liked and respected. Maybe after Theo threw in the towel, I could lock him out of the room, and AJ and I could finish what we were starting.
One of Theo’s arms slipped free, and I thought surely this was the moment he would put his foot down, but instead, he swept my hair aside, out of AJ’s way. Hoping to call his bluff, I shifted my hips backward, right into his straining erection.
Come on, I thought, brushing my ass back and forth over his cock. It’s me. The woman you hate. You don’t really want to do this, do you?
In answer, he grabbed my waist and ground into me, reminding me who he was. The man I hated, who was now leaning down and—kissing the other side of my neck.
“Mmm,” I purred, even as I fought back a wave of panic. “That feels so good.”
The horrifying truth was that it actually did.
“Do you know about the spot right behind her ear?” Theo mumbled into
my skin, his lips moving upward.
“I do,” AJ said.
Wait a second. How did Theo know about it?
My thoughts flashed back to that moment he and I stood together against his car outside my parents’ house. The way my body had betrayed me by shuddering when his lips brushed over the area.
Goddamn it, the man really was savant-level good at reading people.
One of his big hands started to slide upward toward my breasts.
Was I actually going to let this man grope me?
Yas, betch! my slutty alter ego answered.
Or so I tried to tell myself. But the ugly truth was … I didn’t have one.
That stupid voice was me, not some weird, fragmented personality. It was the part of me I didn’t want to admit was still there. The part of me that liked dangerous things. Craved the thrill of them. Was desperate to turn my brain off, stop overthinking for once, and just feel.
I’d been fighting it since the night Theo came sauntering into my life, worried that if I set that part of myself free, I might risk turning back into the person I used to be, but … what if I was wrong? What if it was okay to be a little reckless every now and then? I had to be so strict about every piece of food I ate, all the liquids I drank. I was religious about taking my meds, constantly monitored my stress and anxiety because I was so afraid that if they got out of control, they would trigger a flare.
And I was tired of it.
So goddamn exhausted.
For once, I wanted to pretend nothing had changed. That nothing bad had ever happened and nothing ever would. That I was still young, still healthy. That this was just like any other party, and AJ and I had been lucky enough to find a willing third to join us.
And maybe that was selfish, and wrong, but it didn’t change the fact that I was desperate for someone to take this pain away and make me feel good for a little while.
So, yeah, I was doing this, and not just to win some stupid mind game with Theo, but because I wanted to, plain and simple. I wanted to strip off my dress. Touch someone, let them touch me, see me, see how much this fucking illness had stripped from my body and tell me they still wanted me anyway.
I closed my eyes, fighting back a wave of tears, and reached between the men to pull my dress up. I only managed to heft it halfway before it caught on Theo’s hands. In a move that surprised me, he gathered the hem and pulled it the rest of the way off, stepping back so I could lift my arms overhead.
AJ’s gaze drank me in hungrily, no sign of hesitation or worry over how skinny I’d gotten, only lust, open and honest for me to see. I framed his face with my hands, smiling in silent thanks, and started to pull him in.
“Oh, wait,” he said, taking something from his jacket pocket. With a brandish, he produced a makeup remover towelette. “For your lipstick,” he said. Then he grinned, glancing behind me at Theo. “Unless you don’t care?”
Theo let out a low rumble of amusement, close enough that I felt his breath rush down my back. “The last time we didn’t take it off, it looked like a depressed clown painted our faces.”
AJ chuckled, focusing back on me. “Here,” he said, tilting my face toward the light. His eyes dropped to my mouth, and he started wiping my lips with gentle strokes. “Do you want him to remove those or do it yourself?” he said, tipping his head toward the pasties covering my nipples.
“I’ll do it,” Theo said.
I nearly clapped my hands over my boobs in self-defense. Because there was no way he’d be gentle about it. Knowing him, he’d probably rip them off like Band-Aids.
“I can,” I assured him, starting to blindly reach for them while AJ finished wiping my mouth.
Theo batted my hands aside, and then his fingers found the edge of the right pastie. I braced myself, and he paused there, drawing out my terror like the sadist he was. But then blond hair appeared in my periphery, and I felt him drop a kiss to my shoulder, his other hand spanning my ribs, warm and large, before snaking across my stomach and pulling me into him. I hated to admit it, but we fit each other perfectly, his big thighs framing mine, body forming a cage around me, like he could use his size to protect me from the world. Too bad he was the one I needed saving from.
“Relax,” he said, kissing his way toward my neck. “I’ll be gentle.”
AJ tossed the makeup remover over his shoulder. “Unless you don’t want him to be.”
“Don’t give him ideas,” I said, curling my fingers into AJ’s jacket and hauling him forward.
Our mouths met, lips parting immediately to welcome each other in. I was so distracted by the kiss that I barely felt the tug on my breast as Theo peeled the pastie off. I did feel him strum his fingers over my nipple ring right after, and, fuck, it felt good. A pull came from my other breast, and then my chest was fully bared, Theo’s huge hands cupping and kneading me, his fingers bumping over both nipples in tandem.
Need punched into me, and I clenched my thighs together to keep from squirming. The rush of endorphins and happy hormones coursing through my body was starting to take the edge off my pain, and I wanted more.
With a gasp, I broke the kiss. “You have too many clothes on.”
I turned us, pressing AJ back into Theo, sure this was the moment my blackmailer would balk, but when I lifted my gaze to his, it was to see the look of challenge gone, replaced by something else entirely. Something hot,
hungry, his blue eyes dark, with a carnal gleam in them that told me he had
no intention of stopping either.
To have him looking at me like that … My face heated. Lust curled in my core.
And then I remembered how good Theo was at reading people, and I dropped my gaze back to AJ before he could see too much. I pushed AJ’s jacket wide. Theo snagged the lapels, tugging it down his arms, and AJ shrugged out of it. Theo tossed the garment onto the same chair he’d draped my dress over. Then his lips were on AJ’s neck, his hands at his shirt, unbuttoning it. I dropped my fingers to AJ’s belt, sliding it free. His slacks framed his straining cock, and I paused to stroke a palm down it.
“God, Stel,” he breathed, reaching out to draw me in for another kiss, this one deeper, slower, Theo’s hands moving between us as he continued unbuttoning AJ’s shirt.
I made the mistake of opening my eyes as we shifted angles, and blue filled my vision. Theo was staring at me from an inch away. His eyes narrowed, annoyed, and he flicked them to the right in a clear command of This is my side, go back to where you came from.
I glared but switched angles again, and we kept AJ between us like a barrier, barely touching each other as we finished stripping our companion out of his clothes.
Saliva pooled in my mouth as I stared down at AJ’s cock, not too big, not too small, the head full and proud, the shaft bare and soft, not a vein in sight. I’d once told him that someone should photograph it, and while he’d laughed, I’d only been half joking. Surely some anatomy textbook needed an example of what a perfectly formed dick looked like?
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had one in my mouth, and not even Theo’s presence was enough to stop me from dropping to my knees right there on the carpet and laving my tongue over the head of it.
“Fuck,” AJ groaned, relaxing backward into Theo, one hand framing my face, the other reaching behind him, searching for what I already knew was a much larger and more cumbersome piece of equipment.
All the luck to him. I was happy where I was, twirling my tongue around the entire circumference of his head as I relearned the feel of him. He was just as soft as I remembered, just as responsive, his dick twitching in my grasp as I lifted my hand to his shaft and wrapped my fingers around it.
I was just starting to close my eyes and really let myself enjoy what I was doing when motion had me popping them back open. Theo’s hand, stroking down AJ’s stomach to slide past my fingers and cup his balls. And then his other freakishly large hand wrapped around the back of my head, threading his fingers into my hair and tugging me backward hard enough that I saw stars.
Warmth pooled between my legs. My pulse stuttered.
With a yank, Theo had me moving forward again, and, oh, no, I shouldn’t like this as much as I did—him controlling me like a bobble head.
But from the way my pussy clenched, there was no denying the truth.
I pulled my hand from AJ’s shaft and braced it on his thigh, opening my mouth wider, relaxing my throat so he could glide in and out of it with every thrust. A quick glance showed AJ working the arm he’d slipped behind his back, biceps flexing. Was AJ fondling Theo through his suit pants? Or had he managed to free that massive cock while I’d been busy worshipping his?
I wanted to know, had a morbid curiosity to see Theo’s dick. So I’d be able to identify every part of him when the eventual day came that he pushed someone too far and they chopped him up into little pieces. Yup, that’s his schlong, all right, I’d tell the coroner.
“Enough,” AJ said, sliding out of my mouth and stumbling toward the bed, leaving me kneeling there on the floor, Theo’s massive, girthy cock barely a foot away from my face. My lips parted even more, out of surprise, I tried to tell myself, but really, I was just trying to figure out if it would
even fit.
“It would,” Theo rumbled.
I should have snapped out of it, gotten to my feet, but I just sat there, frozen, staring at it, my scalp starting to burn from how tightly he held me.
Suddenly, he let go, and it was only when I swayed forward that I realized he’d actually been holding me back.
Get it together, I told myself, rising on shaking legs as Theo turned away.
He shrugged out of his jacket, shoulders straining the fabric of the shirt underneath.
“Goddamn, Stel,” AJ said from the bed. He sat reclined against the pillows, idly stroking himself as he watched my “boyfriend” disrobe.
“Where do you find such beautiful men?”
“This one followed me home like a stray.”
Theo turned, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal the smooth, flawless chest I remembered from our first meeting. He sent me a cocky look and then glanced toward AJ. “Don’t let her fool you. She climbed into my lap within ten minutes of us meeting.”
“Can you blame her?” AJ said. “I mean, have you seen yourself?”
Theo’s expression was insolent as his eyes came back to mine. He would be insufferable now.
“I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who’s almost as pretty as she is,” AJ added, and now it was my turn to be smug.
“Almost,” I mouthed at Theo.
Instead of firing some silent insult back at me, he drank me in from head to toe as the last of his buttons slid free. I braced myself for some horrible comment. For him to say he preferred partners with some meat on their bones—a common refrain from my past partners—but his eyes heated as
they rose back to mine.
“No one’s as pretty as Stella.”
I nearly fell over dead.
His shirt fluttered to the floor, his pants and boxers following soon after, and then he was standing there, fully naked, and I didn’t know where to look. Anywhere else, would have been ideal, but I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away. He was a work of art. Raw masculinity. Brutal power. The Renaissance masters would have wept to see him. I could fill notepads with sketches of his nude form, whole pages taken up by the swell of his pecs, the hollow at the base of his throat, the deep V of his hip flexors.
He wrapped his fingers around the base of his cock and squeezed, and I jerked my head up to find his eyes boring into mine.
Look away, I begged myself, but I was like a deer trapped in headlights.
Did Theo really want this? Had I been right all those weeks ago, and some part of him enjoyed our constant bickering and barbed insults?
Oh, no. Did I?
Mentally, I shook myself. The answer was no, definitely not. Half the time I lashed out, I felt like a kitten facing down a Doberman, trying to appear bigger and tougher than I was. The other times, my goal was to keep Theo from getting the upper hand. And okay, fine, maybe like one percent
of the time, I was trying to make him laugh, but that had more to do with my own sick need to be funny than it did anything else.
Theo looked me over, slowly, his hand working his cock, eyes dark with some hidden emotion I couldn’t interpret. It made me wonder if I was reading too much into things. Was he secretly laughing at me, and this was all just for show? He could be such a convincing actor that it was impossible to tell how he really felt.
I faced the bed and the much simpler sight of AJ sprawled atop the covers. He reached out and lowered the dimmer on a switch, and the room was dropped into warm shadows, not too dark to see, just bright enough to be intimate and inviting.
I approached the right side of the bed, Theo, the left, and we paused for
one last staring match.
Leave, I told him with my eyes.
You leave, he shot back.
In answer, I climbed onto the bed beside AJ.
The other side of the mattress bowed beneath Theo’s weight as he copied me.
This is your last chance, I thought at him, shifting lower and sliding into AJ’s waiting arms.
If you’re staying, I’m staying, he seemed to say, moving into place on AJ’s other side and dropping a kiss to his shoulder, eyes smoldering at me
out of the shadows.
There was no turning back.
This was going to happen.
I was about to have a threesome with a man I absolutely hated.
