Chapter
Eighteen
Sebian Present day, Deepmarsh Castle, Sebian’s chamber
hank you for keeping me safe.
Those words echoed, making it easy enough to ignore the stings of pain under the weight ofT Galantia’s head. She slept the sunrise away in my marred arm, her breathing deep and even.
How long since I’d last held a woman like this?
Two nights.
Maybe three.
With the difference that I’d kicked Lady whatever-her-name-was out of my chamber shortly after I’d satisfied my needs—and hers, because I wasn’t a selfish ass—like all the other women I bedded.
Raven or human, they didn’t get to sleep beside me. Didn’t get to wedge their frigid toes under my calf. And they certainly didn’t get to drool down my armpit.
I stared at the string of saliva clinging to the corner of Galantia’s mouth, not sure what to make of this… languor in my muscles and bones. The storm had calmed hours ago, and I’d developed the need to take a piss around the same time. Why the fuck was she still here?
Because she felt good.
So soft and small.
Undeniably female.
I ran my marred, numb finger over the small of her back beneath the furs, feeling close to nothing and somehow too much at the same time. Goddess help me, she was so fucking beautiful in my eyes, drool and all.
Maybe it was a good thing I hadn’t kicked her out yet. Obviously, Malyr had gone to her chamber
this morning.
How did I know?
Because he was right beside us.
I turned my head in the direction of his thudding pulse, to where he sat in the chair beneath the window. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“Considering that sneaking up on a pathfinder is supposed to be impossible?” His fingers mindlessly pushed at the silver sigil embroidered onto the chest of his black tunic, his features blank, unreadable. “Long enough to wonder if you were passed-out drunk again with how deeply you slept when I came in.”
My molars ground together at a remark that might as well have come from Asker. As if how I spent my personal time was any of their concern, considering that I always showed up for whatever task they had for me… “It’s been days since I last stepped into a tavern.” Taking Galantia to the library, gathering books for her, making sure she didn’t get herself into trouble at the market… it all carved time from my days.
“This one kept me preoccupied.”
Malyr’s gaze drifted to Galantia for the fraction of a second before it found mine again, his jaws shifting. “Yes, I took note.”
When Galantia’s breathing altered ever so slightly at the sound of his voice, I reached into the leather pouch tied to my headboard. I retrieved a white salt crystal, squeezed it in my palm until it shattered, hovered it over Galantia’s head, and let the escaping shadows do their thing. They created a near invisible weave around her face, muffling our voices, if only some.
“I came here, fearing that my plaything had gone amiss,” Malyr said sharply. “Finding a woman in your bed at this hour was strange enough, so imagine my surprise when I realized it was her.”
There was something odd in his tone, strangely close to… jealousy? No, that couldn’t be it. It didn’t run in our blood, least not over a human. We were monogamous beings, sure, possessive and deeply loyal, but only with our bonded mate. So what, then?
Annoyance? Disbelief?
A fart sitting wrong?
I couldn’t quite pin it down, but chanced a smirk. “Surprise? She might loathe you, but she slipped under my furs with little fuss.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes, we both know I cannot compete with your well-known… charm.”
“Even someone with the charm of syphilis sores would look like the better option standing beside you, Malyr,” I pointed out. “You’re plain awful to her every chance you get, hurting and humiliating her. It’s driving her straight into my arms… and my bed.”
His jaws hardened, but only until a smug, lopsided grin replaced it. “In your opinion, which one of the two has her moaning and dripping slick down her thighs before she flees into said arms?
Cutting her? Degrading her? Politics have kept me busy these days, so I haven’t managed to come to a conclusion yet.”
“Does it matter? In the end, you’re chasing her my way, all wet and confused. She’s so starved for attention that even the tiniest shreds of kindness get you a long way with her.” Why, I wasn’t sure, but I was starting to think she hadn’t received much of either at home. “But like you said before, she
doesn’t deserve pleasure from you.” I sharpened my smirk. “Which is fine. I’m better at giving it, anyway. She can drip down the length of my cock and moan my name when she comes apart against it anytime she needs.”
Blowing out a long exhale, Malyr sank deeper into the chair. “Please tell me you didn’t compromise her.”
“No, not even when her tight little cunt begged for it.” And she had begged, lifting her hips whenever my cock had nudged at her hole, so fucking ready to be made a woman at last. “Maybe I’ll make her beg some more before I send her on her way.”
“By all means, slake your lust for revenge on Domren’s betrothed while you still can. Brisden reacted faster than I had anticipated.” He stretched out his legs, folding one boot over the other.
“Several days ago, two carriages left Tidestone, escorted by a full complement of soldiers. They’re heading southwest along the river. Asker expects them to reach Deepmarsh in a few days’ time, assuming the rapids don’t take down the bridge after this damn storm.”
“So the highborn beauty is going home.” What a fucking shame. I wouldn’t have minded keeping her a while longer. Matter of fact, I quite enjoyed being around her when she was all sweet, flustered, and scared. Fuck, she’d been so scared last night. “Brisden is on his way here?”
“No. He wouldn’t do me the favor, knowing full well that I would kill him even under white banners.”
“What if it’s a trap? Barat might mobilize troops as we speak and be foolish enough to lead them down from the north.”
“The capital’s troops are staying put. Lorn and I scouted out the roads leading away from Ammarett wondering exactly that. Roosted along the cliffs on our way back when the storm trapped us in a nearby forest last night. I only just returned.”
That got my attention. “Then whose raven was in Galantia’s chamber last night?”
He frowned at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Someone’s anoa came to her chamber. I figured it was yours.”
His gaze wandered to Galantia, lips pursing before he shook his head. “Like I said, I wasn’t anywhere near Deepmarsh.”
“Lorn? Her anoa isn’t nearly as clingy as ours. Maybe she sent her back here?”
He thought for a moment. “No. She wouldn’t be so reckless and send her gift through a storm just to scare her.”
“Malyr, Lorn caught her down on her knees, licking your damn knife. You were so distracted, you didn’t even see her coming. We’re lucky we didn’t find ourselves out a hostage the morning after.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose the way he always did whenever Lorn had dared another transgression. “I diverted her attention, did I not? Gave you the opportunity to take Galantia away.
And how willingly you jumped at it.”
“Because Lorn is unpredictable and a fucking liability. I don’t understand why you still keep her around.”
A beat of silence, then, “You know why.”
Because Lorn knew that Malyr was responsible for the fall of Valtaris—a secret she loved to hold, and preferably over his head. It would cost him support among our kind should that ever come out. Then there was the fact that, for a time, Malyr had been convinced that she had to be his fated mate, given what they’d been through together. Years ago, he’d desperately tried to bond with her to no avail.
Add to the mess this other thing that had Malyr more troubled than he needed to be. Not that I ever
dared to tell him, letting on that I was aware of his concern in the first place. It would be fucking suicide… All in all, it was pressure enough to keep Malyr loosely by her side, no matter how fucking miserable they were together—each of them seemingly addicted to the loathing they harbored for each other.
“I’m drained, so fucking drained,” Malyr groaned, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling.
“Not a day passes without some human lord chasing his daughter after me, and Asker being in my ear about marrying one of them.”
“Humans and Ravens have married and fallen in love with each other since the veil fell.” The shadowed wall that had once separated our worlds, but somehow faded over time for reasons never documented. “It’s an acceptable replacement instead of a bond for many, Malyr.”
“You and I have never seen eye to eye when it comes to humans.” He gave a resolute shake of his head. “I will never take a human wife.”
“Then announce a drif.” A traditional celebration, allowing Ravens from across the realm to mingle and, goddess willing, find their mate and begin courtship before the nesting season in the spring. “Ale. Wine. Dancing. We could all do with a good time. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find your mate.”
He lifted his hand to his sternum, fingers clasping thin air as if he’d expected to find something there, only for his hand to sink to his thigh. “War’s no time for a drif.”
I sighed, not even trying to make sense of the fact that Malyr kept putting off an event the House Khysal had held every fall for decades. Centuries, even. One had to wonder if he tried his hardest not to find his mate… “Bonding is a rare blessing these days, and you can’t even be bothered to find your fated one. A deathweaver’s mate almost always has the same gift. She could help you control your shadows.”
As always, he dodged the subject, this time by rising and rounding the bed toward Galantia.
“What does she smell like?”
I took a deep breath, slowly as not to wake her, inhaling Galantia’s natural scent. “Honeysuckle and parchment.”
He stopped beside her, turning his head this way and that as he stared at her. “Strange combination.”
“She’s a strange bird, Malyr. It’s as if they kept her in a cave all these years. She’s shockingly innocent.” A moment’s consideration. “When she isn’t licking knives, that is.”
“And how well she does it.” Leaning over, he ran a finger over a strand of her hair that followed the curve of her shoulder. “She is surprisingly… resilient.”
I couldn’t tell if the sound that followed in the back of his throat was one of awe or annoyance —probably the latter. As a pathfinder, my gift forced all sorts of conversations on me that I could happily live without hearing. Like the ones where he’d asked Galantia to cry for him. From what I could tell, she wasn’t the hysteric, sobbing sort.
Didn’t mean he wouldn’t keep trying to turn her into one.
My eyes caught on those skinny, shadowy offshoots that crawled between his fingers. If she woke now and saw Malyr standing there, would she panic? Would her nipples harden? Would she grow slick, making the sweetest mess between her legs?
I would never find out.
Because I’d made a promise.
When his shadows reached for her, I grabbed his wrist. “Not while she’s with me like this.”
Malyr huffed, a forceful exhale of air that underlined the way he barred his teeth. “So you’re
protecting her now? From me?”
Protect… I ignored the dense pressure rising at my core. “Whatever you do when I’m not with her is your business, but I won’t let you—” I hissed at the biting pain of his shadows clawing into my hand, immediately releasing his wrist. “What the fuck, Malyr?”
He pulled his hand back, clenching and unclenching his fist where shadows stretched like black strings of molasses toward Galantia, trying to breech the distance. “They have become… quite erratic as of late.”
“Erratic? They attacked me.” They’d never done that before. “Why are they straining like this?”
“Because they want her dead, I presume.” He slumped back into the chair, frustration written all over his face. “I hate her, and they know it. Hate how innocent she was allowed to remain while her father corrupted me nearby. Hate even more how I clearly cannot taint her in the same way without risking her death at the hand of my… capricious shadows.”
Beneath the furs, my fingers curled around Galantia’s waist. Perhaps I’d misjudged just how much he struggled to control his shadows around her. Perhaps Asker was right.
“Why not send your anoa away when you’re around her?”
“You think I have not tried?” Scoffing, he threw a hand up. “That damn bird of mine hit her window trying to get back to me seconds after I sent him away.”
Not much of a surprise. His anoa had always been a high-strung jerk with the obedience of a mule and the docility of a kitten on a leash. That bird never separated from him for long, but it had never been this bad.
“Perhaps you should stay away from her.”
“Perhaps I should,” he said, but there was no conviction in his voice, the words like a non- committal statement at best, a question at worst. He turned his head, looking straight at me. “But I
think you preferred if I didn’t.”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, come on…” Shaking his head, he rose and stepped toward the door. “The only reason she is in your arms right now, is because you love how innocent she appears, how inexperienced, how helpless. You want to know why?”
My stomach hardened. “Not particularly.”
“Because after all these years, you still refuse to forgive yourself.” He opened the door, glancing back at me once more before he said, “You love saving her where you couldn’t save them.”
The door fell shut, sealing me in with the same silence of that winter night. Only the even beat of Galantia’s heart made it through my stunned senses, standing in sobering contrast to the memory of Zaima’s still heart. Mother’s still heart. All the others…
Everyone I once loved, dead.
Because of me.
Galantia shifted in my arms, pressing herself tighter against me as if I was her shelter, if only for a night. As if I was a man capable of caring, saving, protecting. Yeah, that felt good.
Better than I deserved.
