[ 18 ]
“GODDAMNIT, DONUT,” I SAID.
We’d both been knocked over, but unhurt, by the shockwave. It’d been big, bigger than I’d expected. Dust cascaded from the ceiling. A terrible hissing noise followed the explosion. I suspected it was from the boiler of the giant engine. The whistling noise eased over the next several minutes.
Occasional, smaller blasts went off. But eventually even those stopped. An entire wall of notifications appeared, most of them achievements. But we had, indeed, killed the neighborhood boss. There was no fanfare this time, but another bronze star appeared by both of our names.
“Were there really babies in there? Like goblin babies?” I asked.
“Oh yes, there were a bunch of them. I only saw them for but a moment, but they were quite cute. Some of them were wearing little oversized jackets, like Baby Yoda. Adorable. I think you hit one with the cart. There were old ones and pregnant ones, too. Did you see your level? We’re both level eight now. You’re welcome.” Donut looked up into the air. “We didn’t get to see our faces all big. I suppose they don’t do the boss battle graphic thing if you’re not locked in the room with them. That’s too bad. It’s quite entertaining.”
“Goddamnit,” I said again. I was all about killing as many goblins and monsters as I could, but killing babies? That was pretty fucked up, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Actually, I knew exactly how I felt about it. It made me feel like an asshole. I didn’t like feeling like an asshole. I stared at that blinking box of achievement notifications. I sighed. I didn’t even want to click on the box.
“What?” Donut said, looking up with what appeared to be genuine
curiosity. “It’s not like they didn’t have it coming. You didn’t ask to be here.
They’re goblins! What kind of vile monster sticks babies in the boss room anyway?”
I shook my head. “We need to get back over there, grab the neighborhood map, and get our asses out of Dodge before the others return. They’re probably on their way now. There’s no way they didn’t hear that. We’ll go north, heading into the next neighborhood over.”
The workshop had been completely obliterated. All that was left was blackened rubble. The lights on the walls were all out, but the entire north side of the room was a fifteen-foot wall of fire. The smoke billowed. I absently noted that the smoke was being sucked away into the ceiling. The dungeon masters were cheating, offering some sort of ventilation system.
Otherwise this entire area would’ve been filled with black smoke by now. We could only take a couple steps into the room before it got too hot. I looked about. The large tables were just gone. Large chunks of stone had fallen from the ceiling. Donut jumped on my shoulder as I examined the room.
The boiler on the enormous steam engine looked like a baked potato that been peeled open with a bunch of copper sticks coming out of it, like tentacles. A steady cloud of angry steam still hissed from the interior of the wreckage, mixing with the black smoke. The room was ankle-deep in water, and the water sizzled and steamed as it came into the contact with the burning wall.
“We probably should have taken all of the coal from that pile, not just half of it,” Donut said. “We’re not getting to that dead boss now.”
She was right. The coal had ignited, and now our only way into the boss chamber was blocked off.
I was relieved. I wanted that map, but not as much as I didn’t want to go in there. I didn’t want to see the dead babies and other goblins. I felt sick thinking about it.
I noticed the line of white dots on the edge of my minimap headed in our direction. The dots wouldn’t be white for long. Donut’s charisma had ticked up to 39 once she hit level eight, but I doubted even that would be enough to save us once they saw what we’d done.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” I said. I plotted out a quick escape, leading us into unknown territory. We’d have to fight through a quadrant we hadn’t explored yet before we could get to another artery. Hopefully it wasn’t filled with slimes or some other mob I couldn’t handle. Maybe there’d be a
safe room to rest in, to sit back and figure out all of these new achievements.
From there we’d take the chopper and try to find a set of stairs.
“I must admit,” Donut said as we jogged away. “I do like it when you blow stuff up. I like it a lot.”
