41
DILFING SO HARD
Olivia
I’M ALONE WHEN I WAKE up, which isn’t how I’m accustomed to waking at Carter’s, nor how I prefer to. My personal favorite is with his head between my legs, or his ngers, and both are often, but beggars can’t be choosers.
There’s a mug of tea waiting for me on the small table beside the bed, so I can’t complain.
I’m not shocked to nd Alannah’s bed empty, but denitely surprised to nd no Jem. Carter likes the little guy and enjoys his snuggles, but I’d be lying if I said he didn’t always look mildly petried that Jem might do a baby thing while Carter’s holding him, like poop or cry.
The kitchen’s a disaster, there’s pancake batter everywhere—a surere sign that Alannah was in charge of breakfast—and there’s nobody in sight, which slightly frightens me.
I pause at the top of basement stairs, the sliding barn-style door cracked,
music drifting through it. “Carter?”
“Down here, Ol!”
I stroll through the extensive home theater next to the game room—I know, the irony that we prefer to build a fort—and nally nd them in the impressive home gym.
Jem is strapped to Carter’s chest, gnawing on that silicone hockey skate he loves so much. The sight has my lady parts doing a little dance, and I shift a little uncomfortably where I stand.
“Hey, pumpkin. You found us.”
He and Alannah are sitting side by side, doing bicep curls. Alannah’s weights are tiny and pink, and with each curl, she grunts out a huuu.
“Hey, Auntie Ollie. Oh yeah, baby. Feel the burn!”
I press a kiss to Jem’s hair before Carter lifts his lips to mine. “Aw, darn.
Looks like I missed the workout.”
The look Carter ashes says he’s onto me. He catches me staring more than he catches me doing any actual work. “We thought we’d let you sleep in. And I don’t wanna brag, but I’m killing it.”
“He even changed Jemmy’s stinky bum!” Alannah thumbs proudly at her chest. “I helped Carter get Jem’s breakfast ready.”
“And I fed him.” Carter looks just as proud, bouncing him around on his chest.
The three of them are so freaking adorable together it hurts, and I quell the urge in my ovaries to start reproducing.
Not now, babymakers.
“Quit looking at me like that.”
“Hmm?” I pretend to be interested in the squat rack. “Like what?”
Carter juts a hip and winks. “I look good, don’t I?”
“Meh.”
“Meh?” He steps closer, peeking over his shoulder—Alannah’s occupied with an incredibly energetic round of jumping jacks—before his lips touch my neck.
“I think I look hot. I’d make one helluva DILF, wouldn’t you say so, Ollie girl?”
My heartbeat settles between my thighs, and before I can pretend the thought hasn’t crossed my mind, Alannah pops between us.
“What’s a DILF?”
“A dad I’d like to f—” Carter slams his mouth shut, eyes bugged at me for saving. I’m not going to save him. He got himself into this; let’s see him get out of it. He smiles at Alannah and pats her head. “Fish with. A dad I’d like to sh with.”
Her nose scrunches. “Wouldn’t that be a DILFW? Because with starts with a W. So you have to add the W, Carter.” She tilts her head, gives him an assessing once-over and a patronizing pat on his arm, before she walks away.
Carter guaws, twisting to call after her. “Hey, sassy pants!”
She grins at him, all devil.
“You ready to go skating?”
Her resounding shriek as she tears her way up the stairs is answer enough, and a half hour later, the four of us are stepping out on the ice at Rogers Centre, which is something I never, ever thought I’d say. But being the captain of the Vancouver Vipers aords you certain luxuries, like convincing them to let you use the ice before they x it up for the game this afternoon.
With Jem strapped to my chest, all snuggled and cozy, Carter helps me step over the threshold, and I do a slow spin, marveling at the sight.
“I don’t wanna wear my helmet.”
“You have to wear your helmet.”
“But you’re not wearing your helmet.”
I twist in the direction of the bickering, Alannah’s sts on her hips as she argues with Carter. He’s holding her helmet out to her and she is adamantly looking anywhere but at it.
“I’m an adult. My brain is fully developed. Yours isn’t.” He knocks on his toque-covered head. “Gotta protect those growing brain cells, Lanny.”
“But—”
“No buts. Helmet on or no skating, little miss.” He shrugs. “Seems like an easy choice to me.”
Oh my. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
Alannah throws her head back with a groan before letting Carter snap her helmet into place.
He gives her cage a shake. “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I spy her smile from here as she swats his hand away. “You’re just like my
dad.”
“Handsome?”
“Annoying.” With a snicker, she hops onto the ice, steals the puck from between his unsuspecting feet, and takes o like a bat out of hell.
Carter’s not far behind her, and before she knows it, he’s got the puck on the tip of his stick as he twirls around her.
“Aw, man! You’re too fast!”
After a while, I take a seat on the bench and take Jem out of the sling, bouncing him on my lap. He babbles along, waving his hands around as Carter and Alannah zip around the ice. I snap a few pictures and smile when Carter starts giving Alannah tips on crossovers and icking her wrist just right in order to get that perfect “top shelf” shot on net.
“See, when you’re checking someone into the boards, you wanna go in low and nish high,” I hear him saying, shoving her gently with his shoulder.
“Carter! We’re not giving her tips on how to land in the penalty box.”
Carter whispers something in her ear that makes her snicker before he ashes me an innocent grin. “Yes, Ollie.” He ips the puck to Alannah and tells her to go for a spin, making his way over to me. He taps my nose with his stinky gloves.
“Want me to take Jemmy for a ride?”
“Sure.” I hand him over as Carter ditches his gloves and stick, and he smooches Jem’s cheek, snuggling him close. “Be careful.”
“Careful’s my middle name, Ol.”
“Careful is not your middle name. Careful’s not even in your vocabulary.”
He ignores me, naturally, and I watch in awe as he spins around the ice with my nephew in his arms, shrieking with giggles and making Carter laugh. They’re a sight to be seen, and I don’t think I could be more in love.
Carter skates by me with an irritatingly smug smirk and an even smugger wink. “You look like you wanna have my babies.”
“Psssh.” I sco, waving him o.
“Is that a hell-yes sco?”
“It’s a your-baby-would-absolutely-destroy-my-vagina sco.”
“Hm. Sounds like a hell-fucking-yes to me.”
Hell. Fucking. Yes.
Except hours later, after his game has ended and Alannah hops o Cara’s shoulders, scrambling over to Carter the moment he steps out of the change room, her face painted with his now-smeared number, it becomes apparent the general consensus is I already have kids, and Carter’s stepping in to play the role of stepdad.
He scoops Alannah into his arms, his apprehensive gaze bouncing between me and the reporters. I shrug. Jeremy would love if Alannah was on TV.
“And who’s this, Carter?” one of the reporters asks.
“This is my friend Alannah.”
“I play hockey, too, ya know,” she tells them. “It’s not just a boy sport. And I’m really good. I’m fast. Like, super fast. My mom says I’m like lightning.”
All eyes slide my way before someone asks, “Is that right? And what team do you play for?”
Alannah smiles proudly, throwing her shoulders back. “I play for the Avalanche. We’re the blue team. And I’m a center, like Carter.”
“Right on! And are you having fun hanging with Carter?”
Her head bobs. “Me and Jemmy slept at Carter’s last night. We had pizza and Oreo brownies, ’cause me and Carter both love Oreos, and we watched movies, and then Carter tucked me into bed, and this morning I showed him how to change a stinky bum, and then we worked out in the gym and he took me skating.” She sucks in a deep breath and releases it with a body-sagging sigh.
“Carter’s the best ever.”
Oh, my brother’s gonna hate that last one.
“Is that so?” The reporter looks my way, as do the rest of them. “And what do you think of Carter dating your, uh…”
I resist the overpowering urge to roll my eyes. They’re beating around the bush, trying to gure out what they want to know, which is whether I’m a single mom to two kids.
Alannah doesn’t give her a chance to nish the question anyway. She throws both arms around Carter’s neck and smooshes her cheek to his. “I hope they get married and I’ll be the ower girl and they’ll have lots and lots of babies.”
Oh shit.
