37
SPOILER ALERT: I DIDN’T
LAST A MONTH
Carter
I’VE SEEN ADAM CRY TWICE. Once when his adoptive grandma passed and he couldn’t make it home to Colorado in time to say good-bye, and two years ago when we lost in the conference nals. He’s someone who puts too much pressure on himself to be better than he is, but he is without a doubt the best, most compassionate guy I’ve ever met.
And he deserves a thousand times better than this.
His blue eyes are bloodshot and red rimmed, hair a mess when he climbs into the front seat. “Thanks, man.” He scrubs his palms over his bouncing knees.
“I’m really sorry.”
“Do not apologize for this.”
“You haven’t seen Olivia all week. You ew home early to be with her.”
“And now I’m here with you. I’m here whenever you need me, no matter what, Adam. We gotta take care of each other.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He cringes. “Shit. Got it. No more apologizing.
Sorry.” He sighs. “Fuck.”
I clap his shoulder before I back down the driveway. “You want a drink?”
“I want ten.”
That’s how we wind up at some dive bar tucked away from the hustle of downtown. By some stroke of luck, no Canadian teams are playing tonight,
which means it’s relatively quiet. The few people here barely spare us a glance as we head to a booth in the back corner.
Adam’s two beers deep when he opens his mouth and starts talking.
“I should’ve known. I did know. On some level, at least.” Shoving his ngers through his hair, he shakes out his curls. “Things were ne in the o-season, you know? We spent every day together. We got Bear,” he says about his pup.
“Things started to change as soon as the season started back up.” He tosses the rest of his beer back and Garrett immediately rells it for him. “Is it my fault? Is the hockey too much? Maybe I didn’t give her enough attention.”
“I’m gonna stop you right there.” The words are out of my mouth before I know what I’m doing. But Adam’s fault? Fuck that. I’ve known this guy since he stepped o the plane at nineteen, and Courtney came with him. He’s been nothing but doting and attentive. “You’re the best guy I know. Better than these tools—” I thumb at Garrett and Emmett, their heads bobbing in agreement. “— and denitely better than me. You’re nice as hell, funny as shit, and you’ve always treated that girl like a queen. Whatever happened here isn’t your fault.”
Courtney’s been with him since they were seventeen. She knows this life like the back of her hand, and if anything, the hockey’s been what’s, unfortunately, kept her hanging on. Adam’s got a net worth that would make anyone balk, and it’s damn well deserved. He was a rst-round draft pick, the goalie everyone wanted, and we were the lucky team that got him.
I don’t know when Courtney stopped realizing how lucky she was.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes for the umpteenth time tonight. “What happened last weekend with you and Ollie, I shouldn’t have let it go so easily. I just… I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that whatever happened, she wasn’t in her right mind.”
“I get it, man. I do. You wanted to hang on to what you had.” I can’t imagine it’s easy to say good-bye to seven years, no matter the circumstances.
“At the same time,” Emmett adds, “you need to recognize the reality of what’s happening, what’s been happening, and respect yourself enough to make a decision that’s going to benet you. You need to be selsh here. What do you want? What do you need?”
“Oh, I told her to get the fuck out,” Adam says with a dark, albeit tired, chuckle, the weathered vinyl cracking as he sinks farther back into the booth.
“Told her she needs to be gone by the time I get home. I won’t let her walk all over me.” His eyes focus on his glass before icking back up. There’s resolve there, resignation. A little sad, but mostly, he seems at peace. “Anymore.”
Our quiet night is well on the way to wild within an hour. Half our team shows up, and there are eleven empty pitchers on the giant table we’ve relocated to. I’m the only sober one at the table, and my thoughts won’t slow down.
All I want to do is hold on to everything good I have with Olivia, every bit of heaven I nd in her, in us. Because what if one day it’s gone? What if one day is the end, though I swear the end will never come? What if she gets tired of the traveling, tired of being alone too often? What if she decides that there’s someone who can love her better than I can?
There fucking isn’t, I’ll tell you that right now. And I guess all I wanna do is get home and show her every reason why she’ll never need another man for the rest of her life.
My phone vibrates, and I smile at the picture Olivia’s sent me, a response to me asking what she ordered for dinner. Her beautiful, silly face grins up at me from my phone as she drops what looks like pad thai into her mouth, so I’m gonna gobble the fuck out of that when I get home.
If you’re wondering if I’m talking about the food or Olivia, the simple and obvious answer is both. C’mon, don’t you know me by now?
Adam’s chin lands on my shoulder, his breath warm on my cheek, heavy on the beer and whiskey he’s been pounding as he checks out the picture. “She’s a good one, Beckett. Don’t let her go.” Then he whirls around, throws one arm in the air, and screams, “Another round of shots!”
The entire bar erupts. Yes, the entire bar. Adam’s been buying shots for every person in here. Except I’ve secretly been footing the bill, so that means I’m buying another round.
Thankfully, once it’s handed out, Adam suggests we take the party back to his house. We’re garnering a lot of attention and the bar is now packed. I suspect the video of Adam standing on the bar with a shot glass in hand as he made a
toast that roughly—and much more respectfully—translated to bros before hoes has already gone viral.
I pay the tab, load my SUV up with drunk teammates, stung the rest into Ubers. Adam and Garrett are whining nonstop about pizza, so I grab three party sizes on the way.
Adam bursts through his front door with a steaming slice in both hands, singing “Highway to Hell” of all songs as his cute pup comes racing. He manages to scoop him up without letting go of his pizza, even though Bear, a Tibetan Masti, has gotta be at least eighty pounds by now at seven months old.
Adam skids to a stop at the edge of his living room. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I live here,” Courtney responds nonchalantly from where she’s sitting on the couch, feet on the coee table, bowl of popcorn in her lap. She sips her wine without looking up at us and turns the volume up on the TV.
“Not any-fucking-more you don’t.”
Adam shoves his pizza and dog into my chest, sts on his hips as he steps in front of Courtney. I set everything down, because Bear is simultaneously trying to lick my face and eat the pizza.
“Could you move? You’re blocking my view.”
There’s a pulsing vein in Adam’s neck that looks dangerously close to bursting. There’s a part of me that wouldn’t mind seeing it, if only because Courtney’s reaction to being covered in blood would be so fucking worth it. But I’d prefer my friend doesn’t die, so I reach over the back of the couch, pluck the remote from her lap, and turn the TV o.
“He asked you to leave.”
Courtney ferocious gaze hits mine. “Stay the hell out of this. It’s none of your business, Carter.”
“You hurt my best friend and now you’re sitting here, continuing to hurt him, so, yeah, it is my business. Get a bag together and leave. We’ll arrange to have the rest of your stu dropped o.”
Maybe I’m overstepping; I don’t know. All I know is she needs to go before Adam loses it. Drunk and angry is never a good combination.
Courtney springs to her feet. “Adam, this is fucking ridiculous! Tell Carter to leave me alone!”
“You need to go,” he whispers. “Now, Courtney.”
“This is no big deal! This is stupid!”
Surely, she can’t be for fucking real right now.
“You’re never home! What am I supposed to do?”
She’s for fucking real right now.
“Get out,” Adam repeats. “My house, not yours.” Courtney reaches for Bear, and Adam guaws, stepping in front of her. “My dog, not yours. You don’t feed him. You don’t walk him. You don’t do shit. Get. Out.”
“Where the hell should I go, asshole?”
He holds both hands in front of his face like he’s had the most fantastic revelation. “Oh, here’s a thought! How ’bout the guy whose dick you were bouncing on three hours ago in my fucking bed?”
I try to stie my laugh; I really do. But my body does a little shake, and that chuckle somehow slips past my lips. It’s contagious apparently, because the rest of the guys follow suit, and even Adam cracks a smile.
“You’re an asshole!” Courtney screeches.
“Well, that’s rich. I’m an asshole because I’m not going to house the woman
who cheated on me?”
“I fucking hate you!”
“Yeah, likewise.” Hurt ashes across his eyes. “We’re done, which is what you wanted, clearly. And now you need to leave.”
“Adam,” she begs. The tears sure look real, I’ll give her that. “Please. I’m
sorry.”
“Too late.”
The two of them disappear into the garage, and the guys start digging into the pizza and nding the beer in the fridge, drowning out the shouts. Adam emerges, heading straight upstairs, and comes down a few minutes later with a suitcase that he takes into the garage. Two minutes later, Courtney’s tires screech as she peels down the street.
“You good?” I clap a hand to his back as he leans on the kitchen counter.
Garrett oers him a beer and Emmett thrusts a plate of pizza in his face.
“I will be. Thanks for being here, guys.” He rolls up a slice of pizza, shoves the whole thing in his mouth, and washes it down with an entire beer. “Now let’s get fucking toasted.”
I plant myself on the couch and watch, draining bottle after bottle of water.
“You’re not drinking.” Emmett ops down beside me. “You know, you live
close enough to walk home.”
“I know.”
“Don’t wanna be drunk when you get home to your girl?”
“Not really.”
“Ollie would never do that to you,” Emmett assures me quietly, like he knows it’s what I need to hear. “Never.”
“I know.” And truly, I do. She would never cheat or intentionally hurt me.
But that doesn’t mean she’ll always be happy with me, that she’ll never leave. “I just don’t want to ever lose her.”
“Time to drop to your knees and beg her to never leave then.” He hits me with a loopy grin and a wink before scooting o the couch.
It’s perfect timing, because my phone lights up with a photo of her in the bath, up to her neck in bubbles, a goofy, sleepy smile on her face.
Me: ur so beautiful, baby. now aim the camera a wee bit lower.
I get a picture of her feet next, painted toes peeking out of the bubbly water.
Me: cheeky girls get punished.
The next picture has me shooting up where I sit, slamming my phone against my chest in case anyone happens to be looking over my shoulder. Because the swell of Olivia’s breasts sit on top of the foamy water, her slender, creamy neck on display as her head tips backward, eyes closed and mouth open in what looks a fuckload like a moan. And I’m sitting here at a fucking sausage fest.
“You can go home, man.” Adam slings his arms around my shoulders from behind. “Olivia’s waiting for you.”
“What? What’s that mean? Did you see the picture? Oh fuck.” My balls are gonna be gone. Separated from my body. Gone.
His face scrunches. “Picture? I didn’t see anything. What kinky shit are you two up to?”
“Oh.” My shoulders deate. “Nothing. And I’m good here. I don’t need to go anywhere.”
“Dude, I promise you, I’m good. Seriously. Go be with your girl. I know you missed her. You’ve been whining all damn week.”
“You sure?”
“Hundred percent.” He hoists me up, ushering me toward the front door.
“We’ll keep you updated on any stupid shit that happens here tonight.”
“Nothing too stupid.” Fuck, when did I grow up?
He holds two ngers up. “Plomise.”
“Did you say plomise and not promise?” I laugh at the guilty look on his face.
“Be good.”
I drive a little faster than necessary, eager to get home. Inside, a warm glow oats down the stairs along with the sound of John Mayer, and I rush up to my bedroom, peeling my clothes o along the way.
In the doorway, I stop at the sight before me. My gorgeous girl is sitting on the oor in front of the replace with her back to me, the throw blanket from my bed pooled around her hips. Her wet hair is draped over her back, droplets of water shining on her skin in the warmth of the roaring re, a book in one hand while she hums along with the music.
Somehow, I manage to snap a picture before I walk in there. And when I do, I sink to my knees behind the body I worship, the soul that lights mine on re, the woman who possesses every single bit of my heart.
“Carter,” Olivia gasps when I press my lips to her neck. Her book clatters to the oor as she reaches back, ngers running through my hair.
“You’re so fucking beautiful it hurts.”
“And you’re naked. When did you get naked?”
“On the way up here.”
She leans forward, sealing her mouth to mine. Her tongue sweeps inside, deep and welcome, and I cup her face as my heart thrashes against my sternum.
“Can I show you something, Ollie girl?” I whisper against her lips.
“Of course, Carter. What do you want to show me?”
Leaning my forehead against hers, I lay her wet hair over her shoulder before kissing her lips once more. My next breath rocks me to my core, and yet not as much as my next words do.
“I want to show you how much I love you.”
