either the brakes or the gas. In the next chapter, she’s going to learn how to do the same thing with sex. maximizing yum . . . with science! part 2: cognitive
dissonance In chapter 1, I recommended that you take a good look at your genitals and notice the things you like. Well, now I’m suggesting that you take off all your clothes—or as many as you can bring yourself to take off—and look at your entire body in a mirror. And make a list of everything you 25see . . . that you like.
Of course the first thing that will happen is your brain will be filled with all the self-criticism and disgust you’ve been holding on to for all these years. Remind yourself that the day you were born, your body was a cause for celebration, for love without condition, and that’s just as true today as it was then. Let these self-critical thoughts go, let the judgments go, and notice only the things you like.
Do this over and over again—every day if you can. It will be hard at first, and there will be lots of complicated and conflicting emotions. It will be noisy in your head. Even now, as you consider doing it, you might be noticing a lot of, “But Emily!” noise in your head. It’s okay. As I’ll describe in chapter 9, there is an inevitable grieving process involved in letting go of old ideas about your body. It will hurt the way your hands ache when you come in from the cold—gradually they get warmer and then they feel great.
Christopher Germer calls this “backdraft,” referencing the explosion that 26 occurs when you add fresh air to an oxygen-deprived fire.You have to allow the hurt to go through the process, let it complete its cycle.
Practice ignoring the self-critical, judgmental thoughts and focusing on the self-appreciating thoughts. And gradually it will become easier to celebrate your body as it deserves to be celebrated, to treat it with the respect and affection it deserves, and to approach sex with confidence and joy. Which is the point! maximizing yum . . . with science! part 3: media
nutrition Exposure to media that reinforces body self-criticism increases body dissatisfaction, negative mood, low self-esteem, and even disordered 27 eating.This is perhaps most clearly illustrated by a multiyear study of the