Chapter 19
Grayson
GRAYSON why is my Ring camera alerting me that you’re at my house?
KIERAN ASHFORD because I’m at your house
GRAYSON and why is that?
KIERAN ASHFORD
your couch is more comfortable
GRAYSON we have the same couch
KIERAN ASHFORD your TV is better. The sound is louder
GRAYSON we have the same TV and surround sound
did you seriously just walk out with another bag of groceries???
KIERAN ASHFORD aren’t you meant to be on a date?
GRAYSON yes and you’re not meant to be stealing my food anymore
go to the damn grocery store
KIERAN ASHFORD
they don’t sell Bella’s blueberry muffins
GRAYSON
you took her muffins????? now you’re dead
y jaw is unhinged, practically on the floor as Bella jumps up and down,M whooping and hollering. “Suck it, Crawford!”
Forty-two to eighty-one.
I have no qualms about losing to a woman, let alone a beautiful one at that, but I didn’t just lose, I was annihilated.
I point an accusatory finger at her gloating form. “You conned me.”
She laughs, the sound light and airy. “I did no such thing! You were the cocky bastard who didn’t ask if I’ve ever played basketball.” She turns away from me, taking the roll of tickets she favored over another stuffed animal.
Placing my hands on my hips, I ask, “Okay, have you ever played basketball?”
Facing me again, she grins wickedly. “I did in fact. Competitively. All
throughout high school.”
“You swindled me.”
She shrugs innocently, batting her lashes at me. “You said hockey was all about reflexes. I thought you would be able to hold your own.”
My eyes narrow playfully. “You’re sneaky.”
“And you need to ask more questions.” I’m about to, but she holds up her hand. “But first, it’s my turn to poke around in that head of yours.”
Leading us away from my demise, I wink. “Ask away.”
She peers at me out of the corner of her eye, her cheeks still flushed from all the jumping she did in her celebration. “How deep are we going?”
“As deep as it takes to”—I check our surroundings, thankful we’ve walked down a line of stalls that are deserted—“convince those around us.” I don’t need to say what, she knows. There’s no point risking someone overhearing us.
She’s pensive for a moment, her gaze raking over the stalls filled with children’s games. “Why are you going to such lengths to stay on a team that wants to trade you?”
I must flinch because her eyes soften, and I can see the apology on the tip of her tongue.
“It’s all right,” I say quickly. My shoulders rise and drop with the deep
breath I take. I need to tell her about Drew at some point, because as my girlfriend she would know. But I don’t want her to look at me with pity. Or judgment. I don’t want her to tread around me like I’m made of glass. I don’t want her to treat me differently.
So, I choose to dance around it. “I lost something last year, something that meant the world to me, and I don’t want to lose anything else.” She looks down at our feet, walking in sync despite our height differences. “IceHawks are my family. I’ve been with the team since the beginning of my career. I’ve grown up with these men. They’re not just teammates, they’re…everything to me.”
She’s nodding along, allowing me space to show such vulnerability that it has heat sizzling my cheeks. Stopping abruptly, she faces me, her neck craning back despite the heeled boots she wears. “I’ll do what I can to help.”
A small smile spreads across my face, along with a warmth in my chest that I don’t dare try and identify. “Thank you,” I say softly. Continuing on, I slide my hands in my pockets and ask, “What changed your mind?”
“About the arrangement?” she asks.
I dip my head, seeing something flicker in her gaze. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought it was sadness. But it’s gone as quickly as it arrived, and replacing it are her solid walls.
“Can I veto this question?”
I feel a bit of a sting at that. Especially after being so honest, but I suppose I wasn’t, not fully. After all, I’m hiding Drew from her. If she wants to keep secrets, that’s fair. I’d be a hypocrite if I said no…but a part of me wants to.
“All right.” I ponder what to ask next before settling on, “What’s your love language?”
Surprise flickers across her features. “You know what love languages
are?”
“Of course. Don’t be so surprised.”
She holds up her hands in surrender. “Sorry, it’s just…” She shakes her head. “Love language. Hmm. I’d have to say acts of service and physical touch.” She peers at me out of the corner of her eye. “You?”
“Physical touch and quality time.”
She nods before whispering, “I take it people are going to expect you to be touchy-feely with me?”
My cheeks heat. Rubbing the nape of my neck, I relent, “Extremely.”
She bits her lower lip, the movement drawing my gaze to the plushness of
them. I wonder how soft they are.
“We should work on that next.”
“On what?” I ask, struggling to tear my gaze away from her lips.
“Being comfortable physically with one another. If at our first public appearance we’re dancing around each other awkwardly, people will be able to tell we’re not physical all the time.”
Fuck, I didn’t think of that, and yet the idea doesn’t sound horrible in the slightest.
Licking my suddenly dry lips, I throw caution to the wind and slide my large palm into her tiny one, reveling in the softness of her skin and the sharp
intake of her breath. “Is this…okay?”
She nods her head emphatically. “Yes.”
Yet her voice is high-pitched, her breathing labored. Am I making her uncomfortable? “Are you sure? I won’t be offended —”
Her hand tightens in mine, silencing me.
I squeeze hers back understandingly. “We can work on the rest when there aren’t eyes on us.”
Her head lifts as if she’s just realized we’re surrounded by people, no longer in that little nook of an alley that was deserted.
She straightens immediately. “My turn. When was your last
relationship?”
“I’ve actually never had one.”
Her head whips to me. “Never?”
“Never.” I can’t help but laugh at her stunned expression. Squeezing her hand, I drawl, “I’m not a saint, Bella, so wipe that look off your face. I’ve just never committed to anyone seriously.” Have never met anyone that I wanted to.
Something dawns across her face. “Of course. Why would you when
there is a plethora of puck bunnies?”
“The bunnies get old really fast.”
Her brow quirks. “That’s not how it seemed my first day of work.”
My cheeks heat with embarrassment and shame. “That was…not my
finest hour.”
“Oh, and what was?”
Grinning, I pull out of her grip, only to wrap my arm around her shoulder, savoring the way the scent of her shampoo rises to greet me. “This is.”
“Smooth, Crawford. Very smooth.”
Clicking my tongue, I steer us toward the center of the carnival where the
food stalls are. “Hungry?”
“Famished.”
Nestled atop a stack of hay at the back of the food stalls, hidden from the rest of the carnival-goers, Bella sits beside me with a tray of fries in her hand and a hot dog resting on her lap. While I on the other hand have a large feast spread out beside me on napkins—two large fries, a burger, and two hot dogs.
Bella’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head when I relayed my order. I had to remind her again that I’m an athlete, that the amount of training and exercise I do makes my stomach a bottomless pit. Part of me feels as if I should be offended, and yet the majority of me loves that when she looks at me, she doesn’t just see ice hockey. I can’t remember the last time I met someone who looked at me as nothing but a regular person.
After swallowing a handful of fries, she asks, “What about pets? Did you have any growing up?”
“Lots. More strays than anything.” My lips tip up into a smile. “I used to beg my mom to let me keep animals, and I mean every type of animal,” I deadpan. “Lizards, snakes, birds, cats—I adore them and their innocence.
Especially dogs. We as humans don’t deserve them.”
“No, we don’t.” She plops a fry in her mouth. “Any past pets in particular I should know of?”
I think about it, considering that maybe I should create a slideshow about them all because anyone I date would know how much I adore animals. “I would say my childhood German Shepherd, Baine. He was practically my best friend for ten years. Scratch that, he was.”
Warmth fills Bella’s eyes. “How come you don’t have any pets now then?”
“I can’t with my schedule. I travel far too much so it seems cruel to get an animal if I know I’ll be gone half the time. Instead, when I’m not traveling or
away at games, I just volunteer.”
“Volunteer?” she asks.
Nodding emphatically, I shovel a bite of my burger in my mouth, swallowing quickly as I explain, “There’s an animal charity I’m heavily involved in, and whenever I have days off, I’m usually volunteering. They get all walks of life. Not only cats and dogs to rehome, but they’re a rehabilitation center that also raises funds for animals like turtles, horses, cows… Honestly, you name it, they’ve helped it.”
“That’s phenomenal!”
Everything around me might have crumbled but that was the one aspect I
didn’t allow to falter.
“What about you? Have any pets?”
Bella shakes her head. “My childhood dog passed before I left for college and after that, I didn’t want to get a dog with the hours I worked.”
“What was your old job like?”
She groans. “Torture. Pure, unadulterated torture.”
Biting another chunk off my burger, I motion with my hands for her to go on.
“Well, I knew my layoff was coming. Tech was overhired, the design team included, and once AI joined the party there wasn’t as many jobs as they originally created. I saw it coming for about a year, and all the while as each of my colleagues dropped off, I had to pick up their workload with no pay raise.” She chokes on a laugh, but it doesn’t hold an ounce of humor.
“That, and my boss was a grade A ass. Truly, I think he was a sadist. He used to leave the blinds open and allow the office to watch as the people he fired begged for their jobs. He allowed work office harassment to occur —”
“Wait, what?” I cut in, something in my chest tightening. “Did something happen?”
The way she darts her gaze away is all the answer I need.
My jaw clenches so tightly I’m surprised I don’t snap a molar. The swift rush of anger that floods my veins startles me. I’ve never been quick to anger —ever. I’m usually the one cooling those around me; it’s why I used to be such a good captain. I was the level-headed one before Drew died. And yet,
right now, I’m anything but.
“What happened?” I demand.
Bella’s head whips to me at the wrath in my voice, her eyes tracking over my tense form. She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.”
Biting her lower lip, she’s silent for a moment before ever so softly admitting, “One of the men was only hired because his father owns the company, and at the last Christmas party, he cornered me and tried to force himself on me. One of my female colleagues had dealt with him before and when she saw him trailing after me down a hallway she followed.” She shutters. “I’m lucky nothing happened.”
“Please tell me he was fired.” The small shake of her head has me cursing. “Pricks.”
A faraway look enters her eyes. “Don’t worry, I got my revenge in my leave.”
She goes on to explain how she blackmailed her boss, and although it sounds badass, I can’t help but point out, “That’s not revenge, that was you demanding what was rightfully owed to you.” Turning to her, I wiggle my brows. “Want to switch their shampoo’s with hair removal creams?”
She bursts out laughing. “Of all the things to suggest, that is not one I saw coming.”
Shrugging, I hold on to the sound of her joy, savoring the warmth that floods me. I’m about to suggest another ludicrous idea when giggles fill the air, along with words that make dread coil sharply in my gut.
“I’m telling you, Stacy! I saw him come this way.”
“Why would he be around here?”
A groan follows. “I don’t know and I don’t care. I waited long enough for you to put makeup on, and I’m not waiting any longer.”
Bella’s eyes widen as she stares at me. If I wasn’t afraid of them hearing me, I’d be cursing like a sailor.
Forgetting our food, I clasp her hand and pull her along behind me, hurrying through the endless tent flaps, careful to not trip over the tent pegs.
It’s one thing to be seen out in public, it’s another to allow Bella to be cornered by a group of puck bunnies.
A startled gasp rings out and I turn, thinking it’s Bella, only for my gaze to lock on not two but four women pointing at me.
Now I do curse.
Quickly darting left, I continue to pull Bella along behind me until the large photo booth in the corner comes into view. “Quick, this way.”
Bella snickers as someone screams like a banshee. “Are they always this
neurotic?”
“Unfortunately.”
Parting the photo booth drape, I keep my head low as I nestle inside, realizing at the same time as Bella that my large frame takes up all the room.
Over her shoulder, a head of blonde hair rushes between the tents.
Without thinking, I wrap my hands around Bella’s waist and pull, yanking the drape closed behind her. I’m breathing heavily, my ears straining to hear.
“Fuck, Stacy, your loud mouth scared him off!”
“Who was he with?”
“I didn’t recognize her.”
A scoff. “And what, you know his rotation?”
“Yes, actually, I do, and he doesn’t have one.”
Someone else huffs. “I think I saw him go this way. There’s another
couple moving through the lanes.”
“Don’t fuck this up for me, Stacy.”
My head drops back with a thunk against the photo booth as they walk off. Thankfully, none of them saw me dart inside. I lift my head, suddenly realizing how we managed to fit inside.
Bella sits atop my thighs, her ass nestled into my lap.
My mind notices our position the same moment my dick does, and it takes everything in me not to groan. She fits perfectly, and I’m not sure why, but it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.
My hands are still splayed across her stomach and they flex instinctively, drawing a hitch of her breath. Swallowing thickly, my gaze tracks down her body, remembering that she’s wearing a dress, remembering how easy it would be to lift it.
My mouth waters—fucking salivates—over the thought of sliding my palm through her long brown strands and smashing those plump pink lips to mine.
She wiggles, her body twitching slightly, and the movement brushes her core against my large hard length. Her lips part, her cheeks flushing and her eyes turning glazed as they fill with heat.
She’s beautiful, so incredibly beautiful I feel like I’ll be on the verge of
death if I don’t have her.
Fuck.
This is not good. This is not fucking good at all.
Especially after what we just talked about. And yet, her gaze remains locked on mine, her lips parted as her tongue darts out to lick the bottom one.
My fingers twitch, desperately wanting to run along the length of her body. I don’t care where, they just want to move, to explore.
Bella’s eyes become hooded, her hand on my shoulder fisting my shirt as her thighs squeeze together.
“Do you think they’re gone?” she whispers, her voice hoarse.
“We should probably wait to be certain,” I drawl.
Her chest rises on a sharp inhale. “I’m surprised it hasn’t gone to your head.”
My gaze flicks back and forth between her eyes, my hips instinctively moving a fraction and my god, it feels so good I can’t help myself, a low grunt slips from my mouth. “That means nothing to me.”
Her brow quirks. “And what does?” she asks, her head lowering just an inch toward mine.
Tilting my chin upwards, ever so closer to hers, my hands tighten on her waist as my lips part to answer, You. My heart is pounding such a ferocious beat in my ears that as our bodies lean toward one another like magnets, I don’t hear the first knock, or the second.
Bella squeals, flinging herself away from me as someone throws open the photo booth curtain.
A security guard frowns down at us. “There’s a line. Hurry it along.”
Clearing my throat is useless. My voice is still rough, gravelly, as I say, “Yes, sir, my apologies.”
He looks between us, shaking his head as he wanders off.
Bella’s cheeks are blazing red as she pushes herself off me and out of the booth, her eyes avoiding the line waiting outside. Bella isn’t the only one blushing, my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. Placing my hand on her lower back, I lead her away from the sets of eyes.
“Wait!”
Bella stiffens as I turn to the man who called out, but he only produces a set of photos. “You forgot your images.”
“Thanks, man.”
Turning back, I’m stunned because I didn’t even realize flashes were going off. By the stunned look on Bella’s face, neither did she.
Bella won’t look at the images but I do. There’s four black-and-white
photos in a row. In each photograph, I’m looking at Bella like she’s the sun, that I’m merely just existing, floating through time as I’m sucked into her orbit.
The gaze on my face…I’ve never seen it before.
And Bella. My god, Bella.
She’s facing sideways so she’s partially in frame, but there’s enough to see that her bottom lip is captured between her teeth. I wish I could see her fully, wish the camera captured how there was heat sizzling in her eyes.
Placing the photos in my pocket, I decide this is firmly going in my nightstand drawer. I’d place it on the top where I could see it at all hours but Bella goes into my room to grab my laundry, and something tells me placing this photo of us on my bedside table would count as blurring the line between assistant and fake girlfriend.
Trailing through the carnival, I note how the clockwise movement has gone out the window now, especially with the group of girls quite literally hunting me like a startled deer. I’m wondering if I’ve fucked up this entire arrangement before it’s even started. Wondering if I should just take her home, but then I remember how excited she was upon entering.
I’m walking aimlessly, trying to remember what we still need to see.
Until salvation comes into view.
